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Uncle Cracker
3rd May 2003, 22:29
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday
School. Usually she slept through the class. One day
the teacher called her while she was napping, "Tell
me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, who was sat in the chair behind her, took out a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" Shouted Mary and the teacher said,
"Very good" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our
Lord and Saviour?" But Mary didn't even stir from her
slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her
again. "Jesus Christ!" Shouted Mary and the teacher
said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What
did Eve say to Adam after her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This
time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in me one more time, "I'll break it in
half!"
:}

Grainger
4th May 2003, 01:54
Jimmy and Johhny are brothers aged 4 and 7.

One morning Johnny says to his little brother "I reckon we're old enough to start swearing - lets try it out this morning".

"OK" says Jimmy, so they go down to breakfast.

"And what would you like for breakfast ?" asks mummy.

"Just gimme the damn Coco-Pops, bitch" says Johnny.

Mum is outraged. She grabs Johnny by the scruff of the neck, gives him a good hiding and sends him up to his room.

"Now Jimmy, what do you want for breakfast ?"

"Well there's no way I'm having the f*cking Coco-Pops !!!!"

reynoldsno1
7th May 2003, 08:06
The scene is set in the stable in Bethlehem, with Joseph, Mary and seated around the boy child sleeping in the manger.

The first Magi arrives, bearing his gift of gold, and enters the stable. laying his treasure before the proud parents. "Thanks ever so much", says Joseph

The second wise man then enters shortly after, bowing deeply before the infant king before presenting his gift of frankincense. "Very nice", says Joseph, " you're too kind".

The third king of the Orient, an extremely tall man, then stoops to enter the low doorway to the stable. Unfortumately he hits his head on the lintel, and gasps in agony "Jesus Christ"... "Ooooh", says Mary, " that's a nice name, we we're going to call him Gilbert..."