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An emergency landing
According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration stopped immediately.
A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.:D
:confused:
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
:confused:
LIMA18
23rd May 2003, 00:42
The Pope arrives in heaven a few days after Bill Clinton (yes it is possible!!!) and are having a conversation.
The Pope asks Bill what heaven is like and Bill says that he has been meeting all the important people up there - God, St Peter, The Virgin Mary etc....
Bill then asks the Pope who in heaven he mostly wants to meet. The Pope replies "Since I was in the seminary, I have been wanting to meet The Virgin Mary, because of her chastity and purity"
Billy boy then grins cheekily to the Pope and replies " Virgin Mary?, you are a bit late for that buddy boy"
:E :E :E
Buzzz
23rd May 2003, 16:47
The latest Becks Beer advert in Scotland (displayed in pubs etc) is as follows:
'YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POSH TO SWALLOW BECKS'