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View Full Version : How old were you when you had kids?


Hufty
1st May 2003, 18:13
I'm 32 and it looks some way off yet. I know it all depends on circumstances etc. but I'm wondering what the average age is nowadays??

topcat450
1st May 2003, 18:16
I suppose it depends where you are...I beleive in Coventry it's nearly upto 15 :rolleyes:

Binoculars
1st May 2003, 19:13
Hufty,

My depression-era parents were 42 and 44 respectively when they pragmatically decided they could afford to have me. I always swore I would not be an old parent. We had our first when I was 27, which is a nice age, and our third when I was 33. That was going to be it, until an accident brought along number 4 a week after I turned 40. It sent me into a spiral of depression, all previous plans were destroyed, early retirement was no longer in the window.

That little girl has just turned 10, and it is difficult for me to even write about her without my heart bursting. OK, so I turned up for pre-school nights as the oldest parent. Big deal. She didn't know any different, to her I was Daddy and still am. And it's impossible to imagine a little girl who is more loved, not only by her parents but by her older sisters.

BUT. She is easy to love. Had she been a child who was difficult for any number of disability reasons, it may have been a different matter.

Whether that is a function of age or not I don't know, it's something we all have to look into our souls and decide.

I haven't been any help, I know, but I know the fears I had about being an old parent have been pretty well decimated by the realisation they were all based on either ego or money, and when you have a little human with her arms around your neck kissing you goodnight, those things are exposed as the meaningless things they are.

under_exposed
1st May 2003, 19:38
I was 28 and Mrs exposed 26 when our first was born. Second came just over two years later.
I personally would not want to be in my 50's/60's with a child that had not left home but if you feel you are not ready then you are not ready. I also here children are not compulsory, now they tell me :D .

Also do not be tempted to put it off until you can afford children, you can never afford them but always manage.

timmcat
1st May 2003, 20:15
I've got 4 of the little blighters, had the first when I was 27, the last 2 (twins) when 32.

With the eldest going into 6th form and 3 other university candidates behind her, I think that leaving it too late might leave one open to uni fees / weddings etc, just at the point when you are looking forward to a prosperous retirement. Too early, and you might not have the required 'nest egg'.

By the way, the above does not apply to overpaid pilots ;)

Monocock
1st May 2003, 20:32
26 with my first and 28 with second

P.S I'm male

briteandbreezy
1st May 2003, 20:38
I had my first (and only) child when I was 26 years old..... and I find it really weird when people think of children in terms of 'financial cost'! Yes, they do seem to live in your pocket, they do cost something to keep,...... but don't we all? We don't exactly exist on fresh air!

Not everybody can have them, not everybody wants them,..... some have more needs than others, some are difficult, some are a total dream to raise. Sometimes we choose to have them.... and in some cases they 'just happen' (ie:Unplanned)

Whatever happens,..... they do deserve to be loved and cherished! How can anybody count the cost of 'that first smile',..... or the first time your child tells you they love you?,...... nobody can put a price on that,...... it's priceless.

I don't always agree with what Bino's says,...... but I certainly do this time. For me, he hit the nail on the head! :ok:

PlaneTruth
1st May 2003, 20:58
Hufty,

Whatever you do, if you haven't married the girl yet, at least wait until you have had a good couple of year under your belt before procreation. Enjoy your youth and make sure the union is one that will withstand the rigors of parenthood.

If you are already in a marriage and it works, the decision is, unfortunately, up to you --or as in my case, the wifely unit.

At 26 I was happy as a couple. At 28, my wife was listening to her bio-clock alarm and decided for me. I remember the day we found out she was pregnant: I was flying and sat there staring at the horizon like I'd just found out I had cancer. My partner, who had been married and divorced three or four times could only muster the pearl of wisdom, "Well, look at it this way; The woman you knocked up is your wife!"

My daughter has been an absoulute angel. Well, except for those frightfull years during the "hormone storm" but I am all over that now. As Bino's wonderful piece points out, it really doesn't matter when, though as a child of older parents, I truly miss having had any time in this life as an adult with my Dad to have enjoyed him more as a contemporary. What I would give to have him to hang around with now. I'll have that with my daughter. And the son I find in her husband someday.

Kids have a way of surprising you with how natural they invade your life. Nature cloaks this joy to the "unfathered". I just did a cruise with my old college buddy and he commented on how he feels a tinge of regret in not having any kids. At 47 he realizes it's not an option for him and that realization was a sad one. I am greatful to my wife for having dragged me reluctantly into fatherhood. My 19 year old is an independent thinker, a college student, a rated pilot, a motorcycle rider (since 10), a craft "monster", and just generally a really nice person. I am proud of her for what she has decided for herself and how that has molded her as a person. I know that is not a genetic predisposition because I have many friends who feel quite differently about their children.

The key is the strength of your marriage. It has to be able to weather the inevitable storms that come with parenthood. You have to present a united front to the child and instill discipline and set hard boundaries. (Some reluctant parents are the best parents because they can most easily muster the "tough love" when needed.) I know plenty of middle-aged adults who were spoiled by their parents and resent it. They have grown up to be simply middle-aged whining self-centered kid with money. They are rarely happy about anything. If you parent correctly, the results are incredible. It's all about the short-term sacrifice you and your wife are willing to make. To most, it comes very easy because, like it or not, the child MUST come first above all else. For most it's not a hard decision because it is made out of love for both the child --and each other.

Enough blather from me. Good luck in your decision whether it is made by you --or your wife.

PT:p

pulse1
1st May 2003, 21:24
I was 33 when my first was born and 44 when the fifth and last came along (took me all that time to discover how it was happening:confused: )

My father was 55 when I was born and I was aware of some resentment, mainly because he had very Victorian approach to life which was very different to those of my friends' parents. I don't think this is so much a problem for me and my kids as I have enioyed most of the changes in lifestyle with them (even some popmusic). They seem to think that having a dad who drives fast cars and flies aeroplanes does give them some street cred.

It was interesting the other day when my 20 yr old and I were watching the film Zulu and I realised that his grandfather was born not long after that battle took place.

For todays generation, "What did your dad do in the war?" has become "What did your grandfather do in the war?". My kids found that it astonished their friends when they said that their grandfather fought in war, yes WW1.:oh:

Blacksheep
1st May 2003, 21:59
We had our first when missus B was 21 and I was 24. Our fourth and final arrived ten years later. They're all grown up now with the baby finishing her second year at uni, but its been great bringing them up. We'd both do it all again if we could...

**************************
Through difficulties to the cinema

18-Wheeler
1st May 2003, 22:04
Bug.gered if I know - I can't even my hand pregnant let alone give birth!

cabin secure
1st May 2003, 22:12
27!
My first and only one. The most beautiful boy in the world.
After 4 years on IVF.
Wish I could have more.

AVIATECA
2nd May 2003, 00:14
35 with the 1st, 41 with no. 3.
I had thought that I was relatively old to start, but there appear to be an awful lot of similarly aged parents in the school playground.
Unless they really are all young + their kids have made them look old.

BlueDiamond
2nd May 2003, 00:48
Don't have any myself, but often spare a thought for my friend whose parents had their children in the following order .....

Girl, girl, girl, then boy/girl twins then girl/girl/girl TRIPLETS !!!!!!!

Eight children under the age of seven !

Davaar
2nd May 2003, 02:54
48, after a youth squandered in studies. Slow learner.

Shaggy Sheep Driver
2nd May 2003, 03:56
Bino wrote:

That little girl has just turned 10, and it is difficult for me to even write about her without my heart bursting.

Exactly!!! That's the same as I feel about our two (both girls). I was 37, Mrs SSD 35 when first one was born. She's doing GCSEs this summer.

I'm glad we left it later than most - enabled us to enjoy some good hedonistic times before the all-consuming but oh so rewarding business of being parents began. Once it starts, it's forever.


SSD

Joe Bolt
2nd May 2003, 04:10
38 and childless, thank God (and Durex). Can't stand the sniveling little sods. Children (and dogs) should not be permitted in urban areas. They should be reared on farms and only allowed to roam freely on reaching adulthood.

Time for a stroll in the garden I think; there's certain to be a football or two for me to burst.

Jet Dragon
2nd May 2003, 10:27
29 when No.1 arrived, 41 when No.3 put in her appearance.

I don't know if it's increasing age or increasing experience but each one that has come along has been easier than the last to integrate into the family.

Having said that, with a 14 yaer old boy, and girls of 7 and 1 - guess how long I'm gonna have teenagers in the house for ...

arrggh

:ouch:

JD

ehwatezedoing
2nd May 2003, 10:45
28 the first, 30 the second & last
2 girlies.......Should I say I love them more then anybody else?

logie_bear
2nd May 2003, 10:49
Just about to have our first. I'm 27 and Mrs l_b will be 28. Been together for 4 years and are very excited about the new addition to the family.

Even if baby is a bit of a 'challenge', at least some attention will be taken away from her pesky cats :D

I even won the battle over naming rights. Let's just say that he/she is destined to be in aviation :ok:

HotDog
2nd May 2003, 11:41
No 1 @ 25, No 2 @ 27, No 3 @ 29, No 4 @ 50, No 5 @ 53! Believe it or not, I still had time to chalk up 20,000hrs + in my logbook. Now experiencing the punishment of having my second lot of teenagers, God's retribution for the enjoyment of sex!

Unwell_Raptor
2nd May 2003, 14:23
Mid-20s.

Two points: small children require an enormous energy input from parents, and dearly as I love children, in my fifties I would soon be exhausted by the demands. Second point; I was 49 when my younger child graduated, and a whole new world opened up, as I was still young enough to enjoy life, and I was at last able to spend some of my money on something other than university costs.

ChrisVJ
2nd May 2003, 15:09
Thirty for the first and forty seven for the sixth. At this rate I'll be a hundred and two by the time I get the last off my hands.

Don't like kids much, would not change a thing.

arcniz
2nd May 2003, 15:27
Plane Truth - Don't know how married your 47 year old chum is, but if he's got his freedom, there's never a shortage of adoptable families around. If he wants to show a little ambition and/or middle-age folly, he can probably arrange to add a barely-fledged teenager AND a still-damp infant to his portfolio in short order without having to do any heavy lifting.

Might wake him up a bit!

Little Blue
2nd May 2003, 23:13
Well, officially, the 1st arrival was when I was 29,
but UNOFFICIALLY.....erm...17....
...I'll get me coat...


DILLIGAF

Avman
3rd May 2003, 00:22
First at 22; second at 24. Both boys. Many plus points but I enjoyed the fact that I was young enough to play with them (like a kid) and partake in all sorts of sport activities with them, even as they got older. On the financial side they still cost me money now! My only worry is that they might be too old to look after me in my old age ;) . Today's generation is, I think, quite different. My boys are 29 and 27 now and they are in no hurry to "settle down" and have kids.

Techchick
3rd May 2003, 03:47
27, 29, 32 and 36.

T_richard
3rd May 2003, 04:04
My son at 38 y/o, my daughter at 40 y/o. As a 20 something I didn't plan to get married, married at 35, no rush to have children. Now I wish I had started sooner and had more. My ex wife thought otherwise. I never expected to love another human as much as I love my children. ;)

cookie99
3rd May 2003, 15:11
I was lucky my wife was good enough to have mine when she was 28.

Evo
3rd May 2003, 16:08
Um, 24 and 26 I think - been so tired ever since I'm not really sure! :zzz: :zzz: :ok:

saudipc-9
4th May 2003, 01:14
We had the rug rat when I was 35. I didn't get married until I was 33 which I think is the big point. Having kids is one thing but trying to live with a woman!!! Now that is a big change:p
I wouldn't change a thing. My daughter has taught me what is good about myself and what I need to improve on. She did that and she can still only say "Da da", "Ma Ma" and "Duck":D

ShyTorque
4th May 2003, 03:03
I was 27, 29, 31 and er, 41.

Finally blessed with a baby girl (and lost my early retirement too). I will never forget her tiny bright blue eyes opening and her smile at the age of one minute!

What do you mean, the "others"? What do you know about the "others" :uhoh: :\

Simtech
4th May 2003, 03:33
I was 26, my wife was 24. Glad we were both relatively young as our son was born with physical and mental disabilities; we had quite an "interesting" time with him until he went to a special needs boarding school (although we still cared for him during the school holidays):(

He's now 23 and lives in a residential home where he is loved and very well cared for.:D

SASless
4th May 2003, 04:13
Yes....childless....to the best of my knowledge....have decided to take the plunge and adopt. I think, Thai, about 19, and female.

JustaFew
4th May 2003, 07:42
V. glad I was relatively young(old?) when we had our two,being
29 and 31. They are both active and enthusiastic, keeping us both young at heart.
To avoid the parental anguish when they leave home, we will simply buy our own home and move out so they don't have to. Sorted!

Barney_Gumble
4th May 2003, 07:57
Well if all goes well our first should be born this week or next...due date is Thursday coming:uhoh:

I am 34 years young

Barney