View Full Version : That's it...

25th Apr 2003, 03:33
.... I need a plan.

Mel has to be mine.

Any suggestions how I get started on my conquest?


25th Apr 2003, 03:36
Mel?? Who the hell is Mel when he's at home?


25th Apr 2003, 03:38
My guess is that he's Mel when at home. :confused:

25th Apr 2003, 03:43

Please forgive the intrusion of a perfect stranger, but if Mel is human, male and you are a "babe" what's the problem. Is he blind, gay, not breathing or married? I believe I am correct in recalling that you are an educated woman. You must have some oversized tome of knowledge on your book shelf. Hit him on the head with it!

25th Apr 2003, 03:53
Married. Goddam. She's pretty too. Hmph.

25th Apr 2003, 04:03
Have you considered a sniper rifle; Remington 700 with a Swarovski scope is a nice choice. Too violent? .............. wait a minute are we talking about Mel Gibson:confused:

25th Apr 2003, 04:30
Are there any other Mels I might want?

25th Apr 2003, 04:42
One of those dart guns that vets use to knock out wild beasties should do the trick. You might need to check the dosage otherwise Mr G might be unfit for what you may have in mind...:E

25th Apr 2003, 05:04
AB ...

you're just tooooo fussy!

25th Apr 2003, 05:22
ahhhhhhhhhhh I see.............. We're in parallel universe here. okay skip the Rem700 /w scope, too messy and likely to attract attention.

Write a great screenplay and pitch it to him. Then throw yourself at him
stalk him, very popular in Follywood nowadays.
recognize that he is probably a wuss in real life with early signs of male pattern baldness
Fly over his houseand stall, forced landings by madiens in distress are hard to say "no" to

Im all out

Bon Chance

25th Apr 2003, 06:00
AB ...

you're just tooooo fussy!

Hmmmphhh, nothing wrong with being fussy! :*

But,.... Mr Gibson?

Good God, he's got about a dozen kids! :sad:

25th Apr 2003, 06:08
Dammit ... gonna need more bullets.

25th Apr 2003, 06:13
Consider claymore mines, much more cost effective....more bang for your Buck as the deer hunters would say.

12 kids, well at least he's not sterile

25th Apr 2003, 06:23
My middle name's Mel, and I can fake an, err, Auzzy accent. Everything is in perfect working order...:ooh:


25th Apr 2003, 06:35
Mel's dead (her sister Kim is still alive I believe)..... :E

25th Apr 2003, 07:15
Freeze him in some daft cryogenic thingy and then 'accidentally forget' where you left him for as long as it takes for the missus to pop her clogs and the sprogs to forget who dad was. Then unfreeze him and hope it's not left him frigid!:O

Seemed to work in some daft film.

Failing that, track down Tamsin Outhwaite (Mel in Eastenders for those who don't care). Just remember to post the gory details on here (for completeness you understand).;)

25th Apr 2003, 14:16
Mel Lastman? You want the mayor of Toronto? ...'you have a foot fetish too?

25th Apr 2003, 17:03
Huh? Feet?? No...

But I do have a Canadian fetish. :E

25th Apr 2003, 18:16
Hang on a moment...a woman chasing after a man! I'd heard ladies like this existed but never beleived it before. Wow...how cool would it be to be Mel today...knowing you can click your fingers and AB will come on over for some lurrvvinn. ;)

So come on AB...whats Mels secret. How do I get women asking their mates..."How do I get TC to fancy me?"

PS. For any ladies reading this, I'm cute, intelligent...witty..(well sort of - in a blokey way) and available for weddings, bahmitzfa's (sp?) and most family occasions when you need someone of upstanding character to pose with. - and your mother will love me :ok:

TC - off to deflate his ego...:O

25th Apr 2003, 19:04
I was thinking of an interest in a couple of former Spice-Trouts.

I had this sudden thought that Aerbabe had decided to bat for the other side.

Watching two or more women has never been a fantasy of mine but now I come to think of the Russian entry for Eurovision this year I might have to reassess that option. :p :}

25th Apr 2003, 21:05
Not a lot of people know this AerBabe, but Mel is a poof!:E

26th Apr 2003, 04:43
TC - could you send me details of your rental charges please? Any hint of a Canadian accent?

Can't tell you what it is about Mel... the smile, the twinkle in the eyes, the cute bum...

Wonder whether he likes flying.

26th Apr 2003, 05:03
G.Kahn - I would certainly assume his 12 kids didn't know.

26th Apr 2003, 11:41
Well, I'll give you a hand, AB, after all, I live in Oz and am much closer to him (geographically speaking) than you are.

So ... what would you like me to do? Put him in a padded Post-Pak and send him over? Turn up on his doorstep with an airline ticket and the message, "AB wants ya ... NOW."? Kidnap him and hold him safely until you come to Oz to collect him?

You just let me know and I'll see what I can do ... after all, what are friends for???


:D :cool: :D

28th Apr 2003, 19:38
:oh: MY rental charges...sugar..she's called my bluff...

TC (off to hide until ABs hormones have calmed down) :p

28th Apr 2003, 20:37
Phew, for a moment there I thought you meant Mel Smith!