View Full Version : Polygamy...

Tricky Woo
24th Apr 2003, 22:31
Do you reckon I should convert to Mormonism or Islam so that I can have loads and loads of wives and girlfriends?

This marriage thing is all very well, but it all feels a bit too, er, monogamous. Am I missing something?


Cardinal Puff
24th Apr 2003, 22:41
More trauma for your bucks, mate!

Perhaps we should just go and have a little lie down till the feeling passes.....

24th Apr 2003, 22:42
Having second thoughts are we Tricky? I've just been told that a wedding I'm supposed to go to tomorrow is off because the groom has got cold feet. Might be on again by then though.:confused:

If it is off we go straight to the reception to see off the booze.:E

24th Apr 2003, 22:45
You can have loads of wives / girlfriends without converting your religion.

All you need to have are great (and I really mean GREAT) organisational skills, a total disregard for the law regarding marriage and the ability to convince your wife(s) that you are indeed working away so often.

Good luck...


Onan the Clumsy
24th Apr 2003, 22:45
I never understood polygamy...I mean isn't one wife MORE than enough?

I never understood mens' reactions to infidelity either...I mean if you came home from work early one day and caught some other bloke mowing your lawn you'd just say "Great. One less job I have to do".

If having several wives too many is called polygamy, what do they call having just one wife too many?...Marriage.

The difference between owning an airlplane and having a wife...the airplane is actually cheaper to run and if it kills you, it doesn't take decades to get the job done.

Heard about the bloke who married Miss Right?...he just never realised her first name was Always.

A woman hears her husband crying one night and finds him hunched up in the basement. "What's the matter darling?" she asks "Remember when we were kids and your father caught us together in my car and he said I had to marry you or he would take me to the police station?" He replied "Well I realised this morning that if I'd just let him take me, I'd be out of prison by now."

24th Apr 2003, 23:25
I'm sure you're all aware of the punishment for bigamy....2 mothers-in-law :}

25th Apr 2003, 01:16
Shouldn't that be "mothers-in-law" ? :confused:

Anyway, pedantry aside, it just doesn't bear thinking about.... :eek:

25th Apr 2003, 01:25

Why worry anyway, in another thread you have intimated that there are more than a few notches on the Tricky Woo bedpost...


25th Apr 2003, 01:37
There are two types of marriage, polygamy and monotony. :O

25th Apr 2003, 04:12
Tricky don't fret mate and don't go changing your religion (hmm there's a song in there somewhere). Have 'er indoors to be sign a prenuptial that provides you with a lifetime supply of forgiveness for non-monogamous indescretions.

What? She won't? You're effed mate :)


In trim
25th Apr 2003, 04:15
Tried the "wife" thing. Didn't agree with me.

Back to single life....."Polygamy" now perfectly legal.

Just need to find some ladies to say yes!


25th Apr 2003, 05:20
I think one's enough mate, i forgot our wedding aniversary today !
If anyone has blueprints of a doghouse that you can build by torchlight, please forward............:uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:

Takan Inchovit
25th Apr 2003, 06:13
Mr Woo, you can still have the best of both worlds. Just don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.

Anthony Carn
25th Apr 2003, 06:36
Considered this marriage thing once.

Then I thought about the contract and thought "F**k that !" Bit (well lots in fact) too one-sided !

Plus they usually become fat and ugly beyond their mid thirties.......and sex stops after they've got their 2.4 in the nest.....and they turn grumpy. ;)

Not natural, at least for the bloke. Blokes are designed to spread their genes as far and as wide and as often as they can - Desmond Morris said so (err - I think).

Daft carry on, marriage, if you ask me.

25th Apr 2003, 06:41
Guys (and Gals too for that matter).

Don't forget the sage old saying: "If it flies, floats or f**ks - rent it. It's a lot cheaper in the long run".

25th Apr 2003, 07:07
"Captain's Paradise" starring Alec Guiness.

[Rent the movie]

25th Apr 2003, 09:27
Search for "Polygamy Porter", or scroll to the bottom of this link...


25th Apr 2003, 14:08
Absolute rule # !; If it's got tits or wheels, It's gonna give you trouble. GAWD! I don't understand your question!

25th Apr 2003, 16:41
Just heard on Wogan:

Chap comes in from work, straight to the arm chair on front of the TV and shouts to his wife,

"Hey bring me a beer, quickly before it starts"

Suppressing her irritation, she brings him a beer which he quickly downs and shouts:

"Bring me another beer, quickly before it starts".

Angrily now, she brings him a beer.

He downs it in one and again shouts:

"Bring me another beer. Come on, quickly before it starts.

This time, unable to contain her anger, she complains that he has just walked straight in, with no welcome kiss, seems unaware that she has been cleaning and ironing all day, and just wants his beer brought to him.

"Its started", he said.

26th Apr 2003, 00:39
Maxman - Sorry, I used to have detailed plans of dog house but sold them on when I got divorced. :=

No one asking for Polyandry then? Just think, at least you'd have a mate to chat with when she was out shopping with her pals. :E

By this stage of the thread all female Ppruners will have abandoned us ...

26th Apr 2003, 00:51
by now...4.45pm all female Ppruners should've switched off the expensive computer thingy and started on making the tea for the man of the house :O

<TC - off to hide in his dustbin until Mrs TC has his dinner on the table>

Tricky Woo
26th Apr 2003, 03:06
Still think a sort of Tricky Woo harem could be fun.

Have loads of 'em in there, and keep adding young ones from time to time. That way, yer get to shag about (within the holy sanctity of marriage, you understand) and yer get to keep your old and wrinkly wives happy too.

As for the dosh: I'd only choose high-wage earning wives. If I get this harem concept right, I'll be as rich as Croesus, and have a great shaglife to boot.


bubba zanetti
26th Apr 2003, 03:24
Ahh Croesus .... hehe ... interesting Mr. Woo, very interesting ...

" .... Many very rich men are unfortunate, many of moderate means are lucky. The man who is very rich but unfortunate surpasses the lucky man in only two ways, while the lucky surpasses the rich but unfortunate in many. The rich man is more capable of fulfilling his appetites and of bearing a great disaster that falls upon him, and it is in these ways that he surpasses the other. The lucky man is not so able to support disaster or appetite as is the rich man, but his luck keeps these things away from him, and he is free from deformity and disease, has no experience of evils, and has fine children and good looks......"

[Solon to Croesus. Herodotus 1.32]

... best to be a lucky polygamist afterall ... methinks ! ;)

Tricky Woo
26th Apr 2003, 05:04
Yeah, but Solon was a bit skint at the time, so a case of sour grapes, methinks.

Nah, a rich bloke may have a few problems of his own making, but he has a greater capacity to throw money at 'em until they go away. Also, rich blokes get all the best girls, so there.

Nice of you to add a certain intellectual gravitas to this most modest of threads.


26th Apr 2003, 05:29
Dear Mr Woo

It is with some concern that I read the various posts you are making in Jet Blast since the announcement of your impending nuptials.

It would appear that one of your major worries is that you are not sure whether or not the Swiss Miss is going to be able to provide the right breakfast. May I suggest that you discuss the same with said Swiss Miss - after all, she may be worrying that her formerly sufficient Swiss breakfast is not going to please her husband-to-be or remove his longing for "the full English". My proposal is that you teach her how to prepare the appropriate breakfast - ensuring that you have all the right ingredients to hand (this will necessitate either having a delivery of appropriate produce via the internet or visiting the UK to pick up same). For many not familiar with the intricacies of the precision-timing required to present a "full English" breakfast the entire process is horrific! So ... why not turn a potential source of consternation into a shared meal a deux!!!


P.S. I remember my first attempts at timing all the ingredients of a "full English" were not hugely successful. It remains my contention that it is one of the most complex meal-courses ever to be cooked where timing is absolutely essential!

26th Apr 2003, 06:23
Dear Ms brockenspectre,

I do hope that, on the occasion that you were unable to deliver the full monty, I mean the full English that you were still rewarded for your efforts?

After all, a gentleman should show his appreciation for breakfast and all that it entails.... like the night before.

As Paxboy contemplates another solo night and Weetabix in the morning ... :sad:

26th Apr 2003, 20:21
A chap I know has two wives. To stop them squabbling he had to build a second house. To have a peaceful life he built a third and moved into it by himself. Organizing his schedule to treat each equally, as required by the religious laws that permitted him to have up to four wives, causes him so much bother that he confided that he had decided that one wife was one too many and two was a punishment from the Almighty for being greedy.

Through difficulties to the cinema

Tricky Woo
27th Apr 2003, 04:44
Ooh, you fiesty, fiesty girl...


27th Apr 2003, 15:45
An Oz mate of mine workin in an islamic countrey has some practical thoughts on polygamy:

* 1st wife is the one you love and are devoted to. Shes the one you "make love" to more often than shagging the brains out of.

* 2nd wife is a young nubile 18yo who you marry for pure lust only. Her job is to be on call 24/7. Doesnt need a brain (the mother has to be checked out first). Usualy kept chained to the bed and alowed out for meals if shes a good girl

* 3rd wife is older and very wise. This one keeps you from screwin up in life and making stupid decisions. Since she'll be a "jack-boot" type, sex will be minimal

* 4th wife is your dear pal and confidante. A mother-figure type and a shoulder to cry on. Sympathetic big boobs a plus here.

With a cross-section of missuses like that youd probabley wont need too many girlfriends. Probabley wouldnt be able to afford any either.

27th Apr 2003, 18:17
Many wives polygamy one wife monotony.

27th Apr 2003, 21:13
If I can be the wife with whom he is in love with and makes love to , whilst the others cope with childrearing , housework cooking and cleaning , I could go for this Polygamy malarky.

;) :p ;)

28th Apr 2003, 05:03
Hey Maxman..maybe not too late to save the day....start a thread saying Happy Wedding Day Darling" and have everybody post messages to her....wishing her well...we'll post loads of compliments and good wishes. Then tell her it was your special wedding day "The Surprize."

Well, we'll try to help....

Tricky Woo
28th Apr 2003, 05:42
Hi Flower,

Dunno where you get this 'make love to' and 'be in love with' stuff from.

However, it sound like you're naive enough to qualify to being my second wife. Please present yourself in Zuerich, with an AIDS and SARS-free certificate, fully scrubbed, and shaved legs and armpits, and yer on...


28th Apr 2003, 06:58
TW, you are such a tart.

Andrew M
28th Apr 2003, 07:34
Isn't polygamy the same as Bigamy ? :confused:

28th Apr 2003, 08:04
To all who subscribe to the Money won't buy you anything theory I ask you to examine the husband of your average supermodel. He may be young or old, skinny or fat, ugly or handsome but he will have a checking account big enough to hold her attention. He (Mr. Richguy) then has the option of building his own little harem w/o all the vows and stuff. I think he has the world by the short hairs, the rest of us will be lucky not to spend too much time in divorce court.

28th Apr 2003, 17:42
Then theres the downside (http://www.fototime.com/5A284DC35F55101/standard.jpg) to T_richards argument.... :=

tony draper
28th Apr 2003, 17:48
Wasn't he killed by Ulysses.(sp?) ?

2nd May 2003, 01:51
Imust admit a selection of husbands could be quite useful. A young vigorous toyboy type to make all my girlfriends jealous, carry the shopping, clean the pool, etc. One in his late thirties for all social and sexual purposes. One in his late fifties so I can do the trophy wife bit with all the diamonds, and one in his late eighties who will shortly require an elegant widow who looks good in black.

Have I missed anything?

2nd May 2003, 02:36

Nope you have covered all the basis. Proving that women have more options in this situation then men. What can men do, stay with the love of their life for 20-40 years or more, a pretty good choice actually. Or find the trophy wife and wait for her to dump him when she's 45 after she remembers the pre-nupt. she signed at 25:(

Slasher is right. One of my friends has a girlfriend 30-ish with a face and body to crawl over broken glass for, she became such a pain in his ass, he swam through broken glass to get away from her:yuk:
C'est la guerre

2nd May 2003, 02:42
PAXboy well.... my first not so successful attempts at the full English breakfast were in my youth and my "victim" was my mother! After suitable re-training I perfected the art of said breakfast long before I had any requirement to "feed a chap after an exhausting night"! hehehehe but thank you for the concern!