View Full Version : The sexist thread.

24th Apr 2003, 20:56
Just wondered, in some theoretical parallel universe, how much would a woman cost to buy?

Now before the mods kick my head in and ban me for life, allow me to elaborate..

In this parallel domain, emotions, morals etc go out of the window, so buying a partner is just like going out to buy a new car, house or other major purchase. No catches, no strings, they do as they are told with no repercussions.

So the thread is not too sexist, the same rules could of course apply to a woman purchasing a bloke, or (to avoid further accusations of homophobia, any other combination).


24th Apr 2003, 21:11
To find out prices in that parallel universe (pu). . .
Observe that pu-eBay there for a while and you will have a good overview about the market prices over there.
All you need is a pu-pc and a pu-account to pay your pu-internet-bills.:D :D :D

24th Apr 2003, 21:23
It depends on what you want I suppose.
New or used?
One that's been on the show room floor for a while and now has last year's compliance plate?
High spec or no options?
High performance or comfy ride?
Something that will carry a lot, run on cheaper fuel or one that looks great but is quite a harsh ride really.
Vintage? Classic?
Exotic model or a home grown one?
Do you consider after market options?
What about after sales care?
Warranty? Guarantee?
Breakdown cover?

24th Apr 2003, 21:23
So, if I understand you correctly:

Buy a new one but if found to be defective take it back and change it.

After a few years or when bored part exchange for a new one, old one sold to someone with not enough money to buy new.

When funds allow also buy a good second hand model as back-up.

When either worn out take it to the dump where it will be broken up for spares.


24th Apr 2003, 21:41
buying a parnter is just like buying a car ??

erggghh...what a thought. I'd have to put up with a five year old renault megane for a missus. As luck would have it, I have a nice shiny new mercedes as no.1 missus, in a garage down the road I have a BMW, in the next town I have a sporty MX-5 but I've had my fare share of lada's, 1 milk float and a very HGV ;)

Big Tudor
24th Apr 2003, 21:47
Would this parallel universe have a regular TV show presented by Jeremy Clarkson called Top Totty?
Would there be an Arfur Daley equivalent selling dodgy second hand females?
Would the AA offer a Home Start service?
Would men adorn their vintage models with chrome bumpers and parade them at rallys every year?
Would the really old models be forced to partake in a run between London & Brighton?

24th Apr 2003, 22:12

Sports model
delivery milage only
soft top
fir trim
firm suspention
twin airbags

lager, cheap to run model to put kids in

24th Apr 2003, 22:21
Hmm, and I wonder what EasyJet's car rental business would be called?;)

24th Apr 2003, 22:25
...not forgetting that you've to bring it back clean...


24th Apr 2003, 22:37
However it works, it's gotta work out a fcuk of a lot cheaper than the arrangement we have in this Universe :eek:

24th Apr 2003, 22:37
..maybe you could lease one.. rack up the mileage and then get a replacement-after all only the insurance and tax to pay

24th Apr 2003, 22:42
A comfortable interior is the most important thing for me........ :E

Big Tudor
24th Apr 2003, 23:20
Of course, you would have to take careful precautions to prevent it being knicked by joy-riders. :p

24th Apr 2003, 23:42
and ALWAYS keep the keys handy....you'd not like to find the front door locked and have to sneak in the back way.

:hmm: I'll get me coat

tony draper
25th Apr 2003, 00:02
Oddly enough, I think the ones with the sound disabled cost more than the talking ones.


Mac the Knife
25th Apr 2003, 02:28
Buy? My Pa (bless 'is socks) allus told me that if it moved then is was always cheaper to rent :E

If it flies, fcucks or floats - lease it..."

"Never get yourself anything that eats"

In trim
25th Apr 2003, 04:17
It's not the purchase price which worries me......

it's the running costs!


25th Apr 2003, 06:09
Oh dear, a great deal of disappointed darlings in here then!

I suggest you buy yourselves a dyson and and a self-cleaning oven, you'll not have much to whinge about then,...... will you? :hmm:

25th Apr 2003, 09:50
New hire company setting up, it's name?

Hertz-Man-Rental! :}

25th Apr 2003, 11:55
And the shop next door was called.........

ToyBoys 'R' Us!!!

Anthony Carn
25th Apr 2003, 20:37
First thing I'd do is rip out the wiring loom and rebuild it properly. :rolleyes:

[ PS - someone mentioned self-cleaning ovens. Did'nt know they ever needed cleaning ! :confused: ]

25th Apr 2003, 20:40
Well, the Bible says her price is above rubies.

But then I never found out how much Ruby charges.

25th Apr 2003, 20:55
I heard that Richard Branson was getting into this business as
Virgins r us!

25th Apr 2003, 20:58
I wouldn't bother with that Idea Mr Branson....you'll have awful trouble sourcing stock.

simon brown
25th Apr 2003, 21:17
As long as shes got a good pedigree, is pleasing to the eye, reliable, and doesnt cost to much to run, doesnt mind me getting in and out of her several times a day and with an FSH ( Full Shag History) that will do for me...

You should be ashamed of your self starting a thread such as this....

26th Apr 2003, 04:38
What about Depreciation?

And do you need Insurance?


26th Apr 2003, 05:30
Can you get models that don't make an issue about leaving the toilet seat up?

Perhaps they won't kick off if you put a knife with the forks in the cutlery drawer.

Maybe you can get one that gives credibility to the "Women are better drivers..." marketing ploy.

Will they know that the phone can actually be hung up?

Will it accept the fact that a lot of blokes really do like football as much as some women like to go and do some "Retail therapy (waste money)"