View Full Version : Real Women

tony draper
23rd Apr 2003, 06:05
Which real women do proon chaps find sexy? by real I mean real women shaped women, not the skinny harridans that grace the movie screens catwalks and pop stages now, yer liable to cut yerself grabbing one of them.
Annabell Weir
Lorrain Kelly
Liza Tarbuck
Drapes thinks these are three of the sexiest ladies on telly.

23rd Apr 2003, 06:10
For some reason even I don't know, "sexy" requires something of intelligence as well, which rules Ms Tarbuck out of the running by a distance comparable to that from here to Cygnus X-1. Agree about the mumsy (and misspelled) Ms Kelly.

Do they have to be British? I was watching a Shania Twain video the other day, and if there had been a guest appearance by Seven of Nine, I would have exploded.

Anthony Carn
23rd Apr 2003, 06:33
Peta Wilson (La Femme Nikita).

Jessica Alba (Dark Angel).

Beautiful and sexy, but dangerous, both of them.

Must be a phase I'm going through. :rolleyes:

23rd Apr 2003, 06:44
Aren't real women the ones who know their way around a kitchen and make babies and stuff?

tony draper
23rd Apr 2003, 06:57
Jeezus wept Anthony, those two are about as skinny as its possible to be without hanging on a stand in a Medical lecture theater.
A feckin tattoo needle would make a entry and exit wound on em.


23rd Apr 2003, 07:21
Sorry to nick yer dreamwoman thread, but "Real Woman" means something else to my generation - as witness this:

Delia's Way Vs Real Woman's Way

Delia's Way 1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.

The Real Women's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for goodness' sake!
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way 2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Women's Way
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Delia's Way 3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Women's Way
Tescos sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way 4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Women's Way
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough! Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way 5
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

The Real Women's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia's Way 6
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg white over the crust so I don't do that.

Delia's Way 7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Delia's Way 8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way
What's the point of blokes then?

And finally the most important tip - Delia's Way 9
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way
Leftover wine????

23rd Apr 2003, 07:24
Catherine Zeta Jones, pass the tissues please.

23rd Apr 2003, 10:26
Nigella. You can't call her skinny, Drapes. :D

Not familiar with the English TV ladies you mention, but I confess to finding Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order a sex bomb of the highest order; so ripe and pluckable, err, as in a peach, that is. :E

23rd Apr 2003, 14:07
redsnail's a bike riding, aeroplane flying real woman. She used to have a picture up somewhere to prove it, but I can't remember where.

Flaps is kinda cute as well, despite the trolley and the tacky uniform...

Through difficulties to the cinema

Little Blue
23rd Apr 2003, 14:53
8 ...ermmm...Fern Britton....ready, steady...f"$

23rd Apr 2003, 17:51
Fern Britton? Sex on fat legs. :O

How about Gaby Roselind?

Lorrain Kelly....well you'd just have to so you could tell your grand-kids.

Penny off the morning news

Debbi Lindly from YTVs weather.

I could keep thinking them up all day....

23rd Apr 2003, 18:08
It's predictable, I know:

Carol Smillie :ok:

the news reader on ITV, difficult name, Layla Somethingoranother.
the one with the long black hair.

23rd Apr 2003, 18:19
Norah Batty (ooohh, those stockings!) :ok:
Clarissa Dickson-Wright (AND she can cook!) :uhoh:
Arkwright's missus from the old John Smith's beer adverts... :8

23rd Apr 2003, 19:47
Howzabout Vikki Butler-Henderson.....you just know she'd be filthy in the sack...and the posh voice....


23rd Apr 2003, 20:20
Blacksheep, you obviously never heard of the old Chinese proverb about the Trolley being mightier than the throttle?
And the one that says "beware the power behind the trolley" must have inexplicably escaped your attention as well! :E

Now I didn't get to to pick that uniform myself, and I'm quite sure Nina Ricci would turn in her grave if she read your description, but I gotta concur. Classy it ain't. :ugh:

But calling me CUTE.

Cute is furry kittens, puppy dogs and drooling babies. Innocent looking 20 year olds with long blond hair and pert asses.
Cute is cantering colts and playing lambs.

I've never been so offended in my 45 years!


23rd Apr 2003, 20:36
Okay flaps, maybe not cute then -

But you got style,

And you got personality,

And that's okay by most of us;)

Tcas climb
23rd Apr 2003, 21:04
Every now and then you come across a woman, that you just wan't to wrap your arms around and protect against all the dangers of the world.

Juliette Binoche is the type of woman that would do it for me, some how vulnerable, but yet strong and mysterious.

23rd Apr 2003, 21:06
hmmmm :suspect: now I'm intreagued....how does one get to see flaps in her tacky uniform?

Tricky Woo
23rd Apr 2003, 22:48

You're too old and grumpy to be 'cute'.

Hmm, I'd say that you have a 'terrible beauty', rather like a tigress: beautiful on the outside, but more than willing to tear yer arm off and beat yer about the head with the soggy end.


23rd Apr 2003, 23:15
Any female contestant off Fear Factor! :\

24th Apr 2003, 01:23
What about Jo Guest, not as sturdy as some, but she's getting a little older now but I still definately would ;) Without so much a seconds hesitation. Definately. No questions.

24th Apr 2003, 01:31
Anne Parillaud (the original Nikita)?

24th Apr 2003, 02:55
Blacksheep :ok: :O

24th Apr 2003, 03:30
Tricky :ok: :}

24th Apr 2003, 03:45
In order to add a more American flavor to this decidely British thread, I respectfully submit the following names.

................Jennifer Connelly
................Hedi Klum, I know she's German but she pays taxes here
................Flaps Fortyy's Innocent looking 20 y/o with long blond hair and pert asses from California please.
................my secretary; It's National Administrative Professional Day here in the USA
................Raquel Welch 30 years ago
................Tracie Lords 15 years ago

Tricky Woo
24th Apr 2003, 05:09
Hmm, it's about time that Flapper posted some pictures of her daughters.

Only for scientific research, yer understand. We wanna see if they're in the same league as their mother. Would be tragic if they look too much like their Scandawegian father.

Well? What about it? Too scared, Flapper?


24th Apr 2003, 05:10
Any woman with a good sense of humor, who drinks beer with me, posseses the important quality of relativisme and knows that silence is golden is a real woman to me ;)

24th Apr 2003, 05:21
Marina Sirtis (Troy from Star Trek TNG) mmmmmmm sweet! and that tight suit she wears is a lil bit revealing ;)

24th Apr 2003, 05:21
Carol Vorderman - rrrrrrrowrrrrr!!!!:O

Amanda Lamb - Place In The Sun and Scottish Widows TV ads

Louise Redknapp (was Nurding) - ultimate babe!:}

Oh, and too skinny, but agree with Topcat450 about Vicky BH - how dirrrrrrty is she:} :}

24th Apr 2003, 19:28
Suzi Perry (a'la Treasure Hunt and some bike programme).

Anyway, does it matter so long as they do the ironing?

24th Apr 2003, 21:37
Ironing? Ironing? they can't do ironing from the horizontal position which is the pose Ive been picturing them all in....all apart from VBH....she's in a sort of weird monkey-double-jointed pose in my head

24th Apr 2003, 22:40
This week, I am mostly in love with Kirstie Allsopp off that "location" program....

.... of course, I wouldn't mind road-testing VB-H and Suzi Perry anytime !

Dances with Boffins
24th Apr 2003, 23:12
I'm intrigued about TCAS 'Every now and again coming over a woman...' :confused: :confused: :uhoh:

VBH has the vocals. Nigella has the pout. Few though could ever top Ms Elizabeth Taylor in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" . Now that is the shape that real women should be. :ok:

Drapes is right about the anorexic bags of spanners hailed in the press as beautiful. Downright unhealthy.

24th Apr 2003, 23:39
I'm not convinced about Kirstie Allsop from Location..... I'll leave her to you Grainger ;)

Not v famous but Lisa Scott-Lee would also get it from me.

ha ha..how about Judy Finnagan...just one to sell to the papers.

And Judith Charmers...just to see if she's really orange ALL over :yuk:

Tricky Woo
25th Apr 2003, 00:08
Hmm, does that mean that women are only real women, if they're cuddly?

Where does cuddliness end, and fatness begin? Does cuddliness ever end? Can skinny women be cuddly, or would that defy the laws of physics?

Much to think about...

Personally, I've shagged plenty of fat and thin women, and nary a difference at the time. Afterwards, the fat uns seem to be more grateful. But then again, the skinny ones have little to celebrate after being split into two.



25th Apr 2003, 01:13
Fair enough , tc450 - but you're gonna have to fight me for Lisa...

25th Apr 2003, 01:25
now now...no need for violence. Afterall...two into one does go..I've seen it before.

if not....why not opt for a traditional spit-roast. I'm sure Lisa would agree....or is that wishful thinking :confused: