Life at the rig?

[Martin1234]

What is the typical schedule for pilots flying off-shore in the North Sea?

[SASless]

Is there anything that is typical about a helicopter pilot's life?

[Droopy]

Back trouble perhaps?

[SASless]

Brass Ear Trumpets at retirement in lieu of gold watches!

[BlenderPilot]

Someone just recently sent me the following text, it made my day when I read it, and I think it pretty much sums up what you can expect from flying helicopters . . . .

Text below ===================

I think I’m about to retire from flying helicopters. It was fun for
the last 30 years but I’m lucky to be here. This is what I’ve learned
from two thousand hours in Hueys, a few hundred in Robies and about 50
in other things like MD-500’s, Rangers and a Mini-500. It is how a
truly feel:

Anything that screws it’s way into the sky flies according to
unspiritual principles.

You never want to sneak up behind an old high-time helicopter pilot
and clap your hands. He will instantly dive for cover and most likely
whimper...then get up and kick your butt.

There are no old helicopters laying around airports like you see old
airplanes. There is a reason for this. Come to think of it, there
are no old high-time helicopter pilots hanging around airports either
so don’t worry about the above.

You can always tell a helicopter pilot in anything moving, a train, an
airplane, a car or a boat. They never smile, they are always
listening to the machine and they always hear something they think is
not right.

Helicopter pilots fly in a mode of intensity, actually more like
«spring loaded», while waiting for pieces of their ship to depart.

Flying a helicopter at any altitude over 500 feet is considered an act
of boldness and should be avoided.

Flying a helicopter at any altitude or condition that precludes a
landing in less than 20 seconds is considered a cavalier and unsafe
practice.

Remember in a Robinson you have about 1 second to lower the collective
in an engine failure before it becomes unrecoverable. Once you’ve
failed this maneuver the machine flies about as well as a Lycoming
strapped to your back.

When your wings are leading, lagging, flapping, precessing and moving
faster than your fuselage there’s something unnatural going on. You
should not attempt to fly.

While hovering a Robinson, if you start to sink a bit, you pull up on
the collective while twisting the throttle, push with your left foot
(more torque) and move the stick left (more translating tendency) to
hold your spot. If you now need to stop rising, you do the opposite
in that order. Sometimes in wind you do this many times each second.
Don’t you think that’s a strange way to fly?

I commonly call an autorotation my «Anvil-One» approach. If all is
optimized you get a glide about like an anvil in freefall.

180 degree autorotations are a violent and aerobatic maneuver in my
opinion and should be avoided.

For Huey’s and Robinsons: You never want to feel a sinking feeling in
your gut (low «g» pushover) while flying a two bladed under slung
teetering rotor system. You are about to do a snap-roll to the right
and crash.

If everything is working fine on your helicopter consider yourself
temporarily lucky. Something is about to break.

Badwater Bill

==============

Thanks Bill, whoever you are you made my day when I read this!

[Martin1234]

Maybe I should have defined that I was interested to know how often you can expect to spend your overnight sleep at the rig?

[coalface]

A North Sea onshore based pilot flying to the rigs will seldom spend a night offshore. It usually only happens if the a/c goes tech or the onshore weather turns against you. In the last two years I think I have spent 1 unscheduled night offshore.

If you get involved with underslinging, then there can be the odd weekend to stay offshore if there is a maintenance job to do on one of the tanker mooring buoys.

The are a handful of pilots who routinely work 2weeks on/2 weeks off supporting the offshore based Dauphin in the Forties field.

Hope this is what you want.

[PPRUNE FAN#1]

Badwater Bill wrote:
(snip)
...If everything is working fine on your helicopter consider yourself temporarily lucky. Something is about to break.


Blender pilot said:
Thanks Bill, whoever you are you made my day when I read this!

"Badwater" Bill Phillips is...how should I put this...an irascible character of some renown in the homebuilt fixed-wing and kitcopter industry in the U.S. He spent a career in the nuclear industry, and has built a number of airplanes over the years. He was deeply involved in trying to save and improve the Mini-500 kitcopter (although some might say "deeply involved in the demise of the Mini-500"). Retired now, he's a man of means and leisure. He resides in the Las Vegas, Nevada area, flying a variety of airplanes and helicopters for fun. He is an unrepentant, gleeful troublemaker. If he shows up at an airshow near you, hide the women and children.

He's also a frustrated writer. Fortunately for him, the Internet was invented, providing a worldwide outlet for his peculiar, often controversial stylings, which he posts frequently on Usenet newsgroups, primarily rec.aviation.homebuilt. He may or may not still write for one of those aviation "e-zines" called Aero-News (www.aero-news.net).

He has a ton of flight time and a ton of ratings. It is true, Bill does love helicopters; it seems he's always been fascinated with them. But although he implies he's been flying helicopters for 30 years, the reality is that he only officially got the rating recently. This does not diminish his knowlege or enthusiasm, just his direct hands-on experience, most of which has been gleaned recently in the venerable R-22 (plus a lot of "unofficial" stick-time over the years). Which explains his dislike of altitudes over 500 feet. With time, that will go away - especially when he learns how risky it can be to stay under 500 feet all the time.

Nevertheless, Bill's (not entirely original) diatribe above strikes many a chord with us...especially that part about helicopter pilots riding in other forms of transportation. Ain't it the truth? Those of us who know and love Bill are familiar with his tongue-in-cheek rantings. I'd give that one an "A."