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kabz
12th Nov 2002, 15:16
When I was in boy scouts and we'd do abseiling, hiking etc., my dad would allow me to go, but would caution me with phrases like :

"If you get hurt, don't come running to me in your wheelchair."

Any other craziness out there ?

sir
12th Nov 2002, 15:20
If you were swinging some toy or other around it would always
"go through the telly" so you had to stop. If you played with something sharp it would always "have your eye out". And if you sat at the dining table and leaned back on your seat so the front two legs were off the ground, you'd "go over" and bang your head. Also if you swallowed chewing gum it would invariably "wrap around your heart". Oh yes, and if you went near a swan, it would "break your arm" - never understand what technique the swan would use to accomplish that. I always imagined it would wrap its neck around the arm, and break it like a boa constrictor.

eal401
12th Nov 2002, 16:02
Dangerous birds, those swans!!

Don't forget the seminal "Don't pull faces, if the wind changes you'll stay that way!"

EI_Sparks
12th Nov 2002, 16:32
"Son, you'd better study 'cos you're not built for digging holes for poles" :D

"What are you doing?" - usually when I'm caught red-handed sawing through the arm of a chair for fun or whatever - I mean, I'm 4 :D But it has to be the most unnecessary question - there's me, little 4-year-old, saw in hand, sawdust on the carpet and a good cut started in the arm of the chair :D Pretty obvious I would have thought :D

Or, my personal favorite, "You're the eldest so you have to set an example for your brother and sister" :D
Usually used to get me to do any artibary chore or to refrain from anything that might possibly lead to fun :D

Firestorm
12th Nov 2002, 17:18
What about:

"You might be laughing now, but you'll be laughing on the other side of your face when your father gets hold of you!"

or:

"Stop that or you'll feel the back of my hand!" Never found out what that really meant, but got plenty of disciplinary slaps when I was just a small spark.

But where do your apparently educated parents learn such nonsense phrases? And did they think we wouldn't suss them for morons for speaking in such tongues?? My Mum, originator of many of these phrases, was a teacher for goodness sake!!

Billy Connelly did a very funny sketch about these phrases.

ORAC
12th Nov 2002, 17:35
"There are people in Africa who'd give anything for a meal like that".

djk
12th Nov 2002, 17:52
There's the ever classic
"Do you really want a slap"?

and of course
"Stop crying, or I'll give you something to really cry about"

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

treadigraph
12th Nov 2002, 18:50
I always liked "how could you be so stupid...?"

The temptation to point out exactly who's fault that was nearly too great once or twice...

OldAg84
12th Nov 2002, 19:27
"Don't worry son- I flunked out of 2 good colleges......"

uffington sb
12th Nov 2002, 19:31
How about.

"I won't tell you again"

Good!!!!!!! :)

AerBabe
12th Nov 2002, 20:43
When licking a table knife: You'll cut your tongue off!! I'd be pretty impressed if those knives could cut through warm butter :rolleyes:

(and of course Dad never gave the same warning to Mum :confused: )

tony draper
12th Nov 2002, 20:46
me granny used to say Stay away from the Grates(street drain covers) or you'll get the fever.

AerBabe
12th Nov 2002, 20:57
My granny used to say that if you watched an open fire in the evening, you'd wet the bed :D

tacpot
12th Nov 2002, 21:47
And my granny used to say "Be good, and I'll show you an orange at Christmas."

reynoldsno1
12th Nov 2002, 22:18
" May I leave the table?.." "No, take it with you..."

" Right, I'll be off then..." "Good, why don't you be off...."

" I'm going to run away from home"... "OK, we'll help you pack if you like..."

BlueEagle
12th Nov 2002, 22:32
Q. Why haven't you eaten your cabbage?!

A. I give up, why haven't I eaten my cabbage?

(usually ended in slapped legs and being sent to bed early!).

B222
12th Nov 2002, 23:13
" Say that again and I'll be dug out of you "

John Eacott
13th Nov 2002, 02:14
My folks must have used every one of those!! Mum's oft used classic;

"You don't know what you're missing, but you're going to miss it"

Mind you, she also came out with such gems as

'That cat's going to be sick as a dog'
'I'll make a mental note of that, somewhere'

OldAg84
13th Nov 2002, 02:38
After much more thought....

"If everybody was jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge..would you?"

When you wanted something the other kids were getting or doing, followed by, "But that's not what they're doing!"

"That's enough!"

"Because I said so!"

"What part of no do you not get!"

"Of course Aunt Helen's going to want to kiss you on the cheek!"

"Your fruit should be eaten, not left in your school bag!!"

"Stay away from those (name deleted to protect the guilty) kids, they're trouble!"

"The nuns called....."

"Where did you learn that nasty word?!"

Oh, so many- I'm a little nostalgic as my mother is having major surgery Friday- wish us luck.

tony draper
13th Nov 2002, 08:09
Father noticing fruit bowl is nearly empty, "who's eaten all those apples!!!, Draper, being a sneak points at sister,
father
"You greedy girl do you think fruit grows on trees!!!"

Draper falls off chair laughing, and is forced to flee fathers wrath. ;)

4fitter
13th Nov 2002, 09:03
Me aged 5 and having done something horrible to my baby sister.
Mum : Stop acting like a child !!!

Loop... Hole
13th Nov 2002, 10:58
My mum used to tell me I could have the new bike/model aeroplane/shoes without holes... quote "When I win the Pools". This kept me hoping.

It was much later in life that I discovered that she never did the Pools...

Huck
13th Nov 2002, 16:49
From my Granny, God rest her (born 1902):

"I'll give you a yankee dollar for it!"

(During the Civil War, rebel money became pretty much worthless. Union dollars were used in the black market. This phrase has endured for at least 140 years!)

Le Pen
14th Nov 2002, 06:21
Hiya,

When I was about 22 and was going out with a 19 year old my dad said... "She's nice but she's only really a child!" :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

This, bearing in mind that I was probably the most immature person you could ever meet!!

Hmmmm and Mrs. LP would say still are.

:p

LP

planepsycho
14th Nov 2002, 08:01
My all time favorites.....
"This is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you"
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about"
"Close that door, were you raised in a barn?"
"You are not going anywhere wearing THAT"
"Turn off that racket"
"I don't care what everybody else is doing.....you're my child"
"How many times do I have to tell you?"
"If I hear you say that again I'll wash your mouth out with soap"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO"
"Go ask your father......go ask your mother"
"YOU'RE GROUNDED!"


:rolleyes: :eek: :confused: