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Kalium Chloride
11th Nov 2002, 14:52
Here's a thought...

Do you have a joke which you absolutely hate reading or hearing, because it's simply too cringingly embarrassing and just not funny?

I'm not talking about "bad" jokes that make you groan, but jokes which make you wonder how anyone could find them funny, let alone insist on pasting up as humorous on Jet Blast...

My personal teeth-gritter -- the pathetic "Jesus is watching you" joke about the parrot and the Rottweiler, which is clumsy and annoying and just doesn't work. Stop telling it! It's [email protected]!!

djk
11th Nov 2002, 14:54
KC,

That sounds like any of my jokes :D

mattpilot
11th Nov 2002, 14:59
bob goes into a bar ....

Smokie
12th Nov 2002, 11:15
......it was an Iron one !

Commander Bounce
12th Nov 2002, 22:06
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.

and

Whats brown, sticky and runs aeound a field?
A fence

Uncle Cracker
14th Nov 2002, 21:19
Commander Bounce

I'm sorry but I found both those jokes funny.
Please find another thread.:D

Grim Reaper 14
15th Nov 2002, 10:52
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Grob Driver
15th Nov 2002, 16:17
What to donkeys get for their dinner at Blackpool……. Half an hour!:D :D

rob_frost
15th Nov 2002, 16:43
What did the dog say when it sat on sand paper? Ruff Ruff........

Knold
15th Nov 2002, 20:27
Here is a better one...enjoy

On board the Titanic as the ship hits the iceberg three priests, all from a different persuasion find themselfes in the same room. One is a Rabbi, one's Catholic priest and one's a Protestant.
In midst of panic, the Protestant yells out: “Women and children first!”
Whereupon the Rabbi yells: “Fukc the children!”
The Catholic priest stops and responds: Really, we have time for that?”

flowman
15th Nov 2002, 21:16
Q. What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A. A stick.

:(

USE THE RUDDERS
15th Nov 2002, 21:40
What do you call a fly without wings

: A walk:p

Anthony Carn
16th Nov 2002, 06:19
Two fleas about to cross the road. One says to the other, "Shall we walk, or go by dog ?"


Bet you wish you had'nt started this now ! :eek:

Select Zone Five
16th Nov 2002, 08:19
I've not seen the original chicken joke yet so here it it...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the other side.

Techchick
16th Nov 2002, 15:13
Grim Reaper.......
You ever seen a dead baby????????
I have and it wasnt funny:mad: :mad: :mad:

A Very Civil Pilot
16th Nov 2002, 15:17
Eddie Murphy's snail joke from 'Trading places'

A snail comes into some money, so decides to buy a flash car. He goes to the dealer and gets the biggest flashest car he can, but asks to have a custom paint scheme.

"I want a big S on the roof, another on the bonnet (well, as it was an American film, the hood), and one on each of the doors." he said.

"Certainly sir, but may I ask why?", says the dealer.

"Of course." replies the snail "Whenever I'm driving around, everybody is going to say 'Look at that S car go'. ".

Not particularly funny, but made up for by Jamie Lee Curtis' tits.

Just an other number
16th Nov 2002, 15:23
Sorry - not a joke.
Toyota make a small van for asian markets.
Shaped like a 2CV and called the S cargo.

ndbfinal
17th Nov 2002, 20:52
Jaon,

Sorry, it is a joke; Trading Places was made in 1983 - six years before the NISSAN S-Cargo was released.

Also, the S-Cargo name was Nissan's humourous attempt at the look and purpose (and speed?) of the car. It would appear to have been sold in other places as well; go here (http://www.s-cargo.org.uk)

franksnbeans
17th Nov 2002, 23:51
why did the rooster cross the road??





it's dikc was stuck in the chicken.

Just an other number
18th Nov 2002, 14:05
ndb
Thanks for the link. Sorry I can't tell the difference between Toyota and Nissan (is this an important skill?)
great pictures of japanese 20th century best vehicles

lunkenheimer
18th Nov 2002, 14:53
What's red and green and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender

Why doesn't Natalie Wood take a bath aboard ship?
She prefers to wash up on shore

Flash0710
19th Nov 2002, 10:00
A festive one..........


Two Snowmen in a field


One says to the other.............

" Can you smell Carrot......? " :rolleyes:

Uncle Cracker
22nd Nov 2002, 17:47
A man walks into the doctors and says "You've got to help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."

The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"

"No," the guy says. "My farts do."

So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.

After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."

The man says, "Why a dentist?"

The doctor says, "Because you have an abscessed tooth.'

The man says, "What the hell does that have to do with it?"

The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Abscess makes the farts go Honda." :rolleyes:

Squealing Pig
22nd Nov 2002, 18:42
Guy walks into a pet shop and asks the shop keeper

I'd like a pet wasp please

But we dont sell wasps

well you've got one in the window

pigboat
23rd Nov 2002, 00:33
You can now buy a do-it-yourself surgical kit at Wal-Mart. It's called Suture Self.:rolleyes:

djk
23rd Nov 2002, 12:35
I heard this one the other day...

I'm writing the screenplay for a movie about Chubby Checker...
I can't tell you what happens, but there's a bit twist at the end :D

Just an other number
23rd Nov 2002, 14:00
Bloke walks into Halford's and says,
"Can I have a pair of windscreen wipers for my Skoda?"
Chap behind the counter looks at him, ponders a minute and says, "OK".

AMEX
23rd Nov 2002, 15:04
French Air Traffic Controller NOT going on strike next summer !!!!

:D :D :D

All Blacks losing against the Welsh @half time then 42-17 :D :D

Squawk7777
24th Nov 2002, 04:37
What's the difference between a pilot and a turbine?

At the end of each flight the turbine(s) stop(s) whining :rolleyes:

-----------

Paterbrat
24th Nov 2002, 07:10
When airplanes or women go quiet its time to watch out.

Matchless
24th Nov 2002, 08:09
Brussels Airlines -

What is green hangs on a line and flies 400 MPH….?
A Brussels sprout!

What does a chicken say when it walks against a lamppost…?
'Tok'

It is yellow and has one foot…?
Glass of advocate.

It is yellow and has two feet…?
A baby chicken.

What does a duck says when it falls out of the gutter…?
'kwak'