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Uncle Cracker
9th Nov 2002, 15:03
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 51 and 52 degrees north and between 1 and 2 degrees west ."
"You must be an airline ops officer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip,"
The woman below responded, "you must be in airline management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault.

:p

Grim Reaper 14
9th Nov 2002, 15:27
Tony Blair suddenly realises that his Cabinet aren't very effective, but that he could solve a lot of problems by sacking one cabinet member. He does a lot of soul searching and decides that it is a choice between Jack Straw and Margaret Beckett. The very next day, he bumps into Margaret Beckett in the corridors of power and tells her that he has made a decision, but doesn't know what to do. "I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off" he tells her.
"Well, if it's ok with you", she replies, "I've got a headache, would you mind Jacking Off........."

(Had to check the Labour website to find cabinet member details! :rolleyes: ;) :p )