View Full Version : Worried..... Please help.

Le Pen
9th Nov 2002, 09:38
Bonjour troops.

Just a bit of a problem involving Mrs. LP

Well, not a problem actually. And thats the problem. :p

As is custom, my employer has sent me to work away from home. I am going to be here for a little while and wont get home till almost christmas.

What normally happens on these trips is that after I leave, Mrs. LP counts slowly to seven, and then falls apart. Taking with her the washing machine (or any other mechanical appliance). Also the sofa gets a bashing (you'll have to ask Flaps about that as I dont want to upset anyone). And she takes every opportunity to cry down the phone at me.

Now, I have been here for a week now and nothing has broken. Shes only been laughing on the phone and, well the sofa is still taking a beating. (2 out of 3 isnt bad).

Right, you must realise 3 things
1. I'm not complaining
2. I know that I am a [email protected] for leaving her with 3 kids till xmas.
3. it may have been 2 things :rolleyes:

So, anyway I am worried. Its VERY out of character for her to be taking things so well. Also, why hasnt anything broken down??

Please, your advice and reassurance would be most welcome.



Uncle Cracker
9th Nov 2002, 09:50

In your situation I would -

1st - Worry

2nd - Think "oh well, maybe she really is ok" esp if the calm continues

3rd - Get really nervous just before I returned, probably only to find everything is ok. Absence makes the heart, etc.

An old saying -

A fool lies awake at night
Worrying of this and that
He rises weary
And everything is as it was before

And smile, dude

tony draper
9th Nov 2002, 10:12
Get a close friend to call round and check how many pints of milk are in the fridge. :eek:

Le Pen
9th Nov 2002, 12:51

Thats exactly what I tell her. A man after my own heart. :p

9th Nov 2002, 13:06
Not just a washing machine, but you also telephone to check on her wellbeing! You're obviously getting on a bit in years and planning on sainthood just to take care of the afterlife!
Did you ask to be home for Christmas? I'll be away and have been telling Mrs Boxers about all the savings we'll make in having no tree, Christmas cards, presents etc.
I suggest that in future you plan to spend time away in countries where communication is very bad so you have no contact. When you eventually arrive home with no warning, she'll melt into your arms - provided the friend who checked on the number of pints of milk in the fridge spotted nothing out of the ordinary!

9th Nov 2002, 13:11
Bonjour, Le Pen.

Perhaps Madame Le Pen is just putting on a brave face for you, while you are so far from home. If shes been upset in the past while youre away, its because she loves you so much.

You are indeed a lucky man. :)

(better off than me who got binned twice in the same hour!!:D )

Grim Reaper 14
9th Nov 2002, 15:34
You don't trust her do you? Answer that one truthfully, and you'll be at the heart of the problem. Easy answers that don't involve her going OTS (over the side):-

- She's getting used to it;
- She's too damn busy with three kids;
- She doesn't want to upset you (brave face);
- She's decided not to be upset while you're away (cos it happens too often) and is finding ways to keep her chin up that don't let you or the kids down.

Thousands of other possibilities too. If you love her, tell her what's worrying you. If she loves you, she'll understand. If you can't tell her what's bothering you because it will show her that you don't trust her, tough titty for you fish-face - YOU DON'T TRUST HER!! Find out why, work your way through it and stop worrying that a woman you love and have had three children with doesn't deserve your trust.

Sorry for being harsh, but I'm still in a bad mood.

9th Nov 2002, 16:14
She's bought a Ducati.

And leathers.... :cool:

9th Nov 2002, 18:01
Get some one to check not only how much milk she orders but how many cars are in the drive way each morning ! :eek:

Bin there B4 . Sorry.

Le Pen
11th Nov 2002, 07:10

Soggy... Great idea about not being able to phone... Wil work on that for next time :D

TC..... Oh dear, Sorry to say. But, unless Mrs. LP has had cosmetic surgery she doesnt have a brave face. Never has and never will!! :p

Grim... You always make me laugh, thanks. :rolleyes:

Reddo... Whats a Ducati???? As for leather, I live in hope! :eek:

Smokie... Not even worth considering!

Now I have had time to ponder. I think that my real worry is becoming clear (no Flaps, not worried about the sofa!). Why hasnt anything broken down??



11th Nov 2002, 07:56
Pennie, your callous disregard for the state of the upholstery is troubling indeed.
It is unlike your good self to agonize about mechanical appliances while losing sight of the Chesterfield and the pivotal role it plays in the tranquility of Maison le Pen.

Some blessings are not to be questioned. Peace on the home front while one is away earning a crust, is definitely one of those. Or so I've learnt over the years................ :)

"Ask not why Mrs le Pen is happy, ask what you should get her for Xmas instead!"

11th Nov 2002, 13:34
I'm with Flaps on this one. If things are peaceful on the home front do NOT question the staus quo. Lack of grief whilst away is the most marvellous gift the partner who remains at home can give the travelling one. Appreciate it and it's provider as much as you can :D

PS Never ask a question unless you are ready for ALL the possible answers.......... :eek:

PPS Whilst I feel sorry for the Chesterfield, it is an inanimate object and less worthy of attention than something with a motor and pipes :D

11th Nov 2002, 13:47
I had a mate in the Air Force who's wife would cry down the phone, moan and b1tch everytime he was away from home. I asked him once why the hell he puts up with her like that. ( I was single at the time and would have dropped any woman like that in a heart beat) His response was that while this is a problem, everything else about her more than made up for the short coming!
Get her a punching bag and some gloves:D

Le Pen
13th Nov 2002, 09:59
OK now I am really worried..............

Just phoned home............

Me Hiya its me....

Mrs. LP Cant talk Philippes here...... CLICK...brrrrrrrrrrr

Now I'm not one to panic and I know that there is a logical explanation. But I have two questions..........

1. Who the [email protected]*%$!g hell is Philippe?
2. What he doing in my house?

Answers please.... ASAP


13th Nov 2002, 10:19
Well, for a start his name is obviously not Phillipe is it? Either that or it is, in which case it's probably harmless:)

Select Zone Five
13th Nov 2002, 11:56
I shouldn't worry Le Pen. Phillipe sounds a bit of a girly name, he's probably nothing to worry about! :D

If he is something to worry about then Mrs L.P. wouldn't have mentioned him!

(Just noticed that BlueEagle beat me to it :p Oh well, if two people thought the same thing, you're probably OK!)

tony draper
13th Nov 2002, 13:43
oooeeerrr, Drapers Boys own book of usefull statistics 1928 edition, states clearly that, 92 % of milkmen are called Phillipe.:rolleyes:

Select Zone Five
13th Nov 2002, 16:15
How on earth did you end up with the Belgian edition? :p

Hew Jampton
13th Nov 2002, 17:36
Should I be worried as well? We moved to the other side of the country but still have the same milkman!

13th Nov 2002, 20:55
He`s probably the Feng Shui consultant.

14th Nov 2002, 08:56
Allo. I am Phillippe. I am zorry for ze slow responding but I am very tired after I have been helping Mme Le Pen. She has zome needs and ‘er ‘usband is away. I am doing ze sings zat ‘usbands normally do for zer wives.

Ven I came round yesterday she was at her wits end. She had no clothes left. Zis had been going on for zome time but she did not want to spend ‘er ‘usbands money on my professional services. Fortunately I was able to use all my years of experience and training to stop ‘er misery. She was overjoyed and made me a cup of tea afterwards.

She has zaid zat she will call me before she gets so desperate again. She wishes to recommend me to all ze ladies of pprune, if zey do not have ‘usbands or if zer ‘usbands are away.

14th Nov 2002, 18:07
Le Pen,

well the sofa is still taking a beating

Now you know why! ;)

Le Pen
15th Nov 2002, 12:59
Hi guys,

Have to admit that I changed the name so as not to put anyone off! :eek:

What she actually said was.... "Cant talk Jean-Marc is here...."

Now the two same questions apply but with a tiny little third one tacked on the end....

3. Who the hell is Phillippe????????????????????? And whats a PPRuNer doing in my house?????????????

OK, hang on.
Mr. Jampton, Yes I think you need to worry.

Eric.....Youu are just not getting it........Its a sofa for one!!! :p


Phillippe............. What the F#@k are you doing with my wife??



Select Zone Five
15th Nov 2002, 13:54
Le Pen I have an idea! Next time you have Mrs LP on the blower, blurt out "I'm having an affair!". This will give you the benefit of surprise.

If she immediately retorts with "Well, so am I", you will know the situation...however...if she sounds genuinely shocked then you are probably imagining things!

P.S. If she isn't having an affair, she could well be thinking about it now following your outburst but I'm sure if you explain that it was just a test she will forgive you and you can live happily ever after! :D

(DISCLAIMER: As with most actions in life, this one carries a small risk of making things a great deal worse. But hey, that's life, get used to it!)

Le Pen
16th Nov 2002, 07:21
Hi Five

What are you trying to do to me??

Will never work anyway as she keeps my balls in a jar by the bed while I am away. :eek:

So she knows I am always a good boy. :rolleyes:

see ya


Mrs Le Pen
18th Nov 2002, 05:44
Pen my Darling,

How sweet of you to think of me while you are away.

Look at all these lovely people sending you their little ideas. Aren't they quaint?

Some of them I thought to be quite humorous. In fact one or two of them almost made me smile.

And don't your friends have funny little names? Soggyboxers, Flapsforty, Redsnail and Mr. Jampton. But despite that, they all seem to have your best interests at heart. Which is nice.

Now, Pen, You dont have to worry about Philippe. As a matter of fact you met him last time he popped round to measure up the curtains. And, as you will recall, he's as camp as a row of tents. His little assistant Jean - Marc was here too.

One thing had me confused though. Whats a Ducati? So, I asked the girls at the stables and one of them thought it was some kind of a bicycle. I can assure you, Pen, that I haven't been out and bought one. But I am thinking about the leather underwear!

Have to go now Pen as I'm having your Mercedes sandblasted. Only kidding sweetums!

Love you lots and come home soon.

Mrs. LP

Le Pen
21st Nov 2002, 05:49
Yes Dear.

Translated this means...... Did you say something???


21st Nov 2002, 07:01
I suspect the alleged Mrs Le Pen who wrote above is some pprooner having "fun" at your expense which, if your concern is genuine, is not really funny at all IMHO.

Philippe is probably (a) a neighbours little child that because of family stuff your wife is baby-sitting or (b) a friend's dog which was, at the time you called, about to destroy the sitting-room or something.

Is your wife 'puter literate? If so, just send a e-mail saying that you were a little surprised that she couldn't talk but you miss her blah blah and make a funny about how nothing has broken down!

Really ... if Mrs Le Pen is practisin infidelity I doubt she would have answered the telephone at all let alone tell you the guy's name!!!

There is nothing to worry about, just remember the incident and once you are home for a few days maybe just come out with "by the way, who was Philippe?" ...