Vortex what...ouch!
8th Nov 2002, 09:58
Then- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a 7.62 calibre bullet that killed the enemy.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminium, shoot a .22 calibre bullet that wounds the enemy.
Then- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.
Then- If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.
Then- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
Now- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.
Then- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home
Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.
Then- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.
Then- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.
Then- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.
Then- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.
Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.
Then- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.
Then- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in cells till you straighten up.
Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.
Then- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.
Then- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.
Then- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
Now- We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.
Then- If a general wanted to make a presentation he scribbled some notes down and a corporal prepared a bunch of charts
Now- The general prepares his own charts, spending hours usnig Power Point.
Then- We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards" and "Reds" because we didn't like them.
Now- We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we won't offend them.
Then- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
Then- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.
Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.
Then- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
Then- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminium, shoot a .22 calibre bullet that wounds the enemy.
Then- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.
Then- If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.
Then- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
Now- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.
Then- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home
Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.
Then- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.
Then- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.
Then- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.
Then- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.
Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.
Then- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.
Then- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in cells till you straighten up.
Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.
Then- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.
Then- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.
Then- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
Now- We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.
Then- If a general wanted to make a presentation he scribbled some notes down and a corporal prepared a bunch of charts
Now- The general prepares his own charts, spending hours usnig Power Point.
Then- We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards" and "Reds" because we didn't like them.
Now- We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we won't offend them.
Then- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
Then- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.
Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.
Then- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
Then- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.