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DuckDogers
6th Nov 2002, 07:43
For those not familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

RUNNER UP

TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least
10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I
can say, said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER

PADERBORN, GERMANY Overzealous zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill fated
Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his
head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."

stagger
6th Nov 2002, 08:56
Ah....the old ones are the best! Well, perhaps but....

The constitpated elephant story is apocryphal according to the official Darwin Awards site...

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html