View Full Version : A new PPRuNe Novel!!!!

3rd Nov 2002, 19:53
With all the fun we all had with Emily (See Emily Redux), how about we start a new one with a male centrepeice?

Rules are freelance, but one preference and one rule. Preference is to a story that everyone can follow without scratching their heads and the rule is no emily!

So let's begin...........

"There you are sir, E1.60."
"E1.60? Now what's that in old money?" The captain said in his mind, as he fished the small change from his pocket. Handing it over to the young North-sider, he went and sat down at one of those fancy black "noovow design" tables beside the glass overlooking the check-in desks. He supped at his coffee, and winced. "Christ, I can remember when they had decent coffee here, not this cheap euro-trash they serve now". He remembered back in his mind, before the Celtic tiger, to a time when passport control was just a single set of red doors with a desk on one side, that everyone had to pass through. The third floor had better food back then. It was all so simple back in the days of being a first officer....

He looked down upon the bank holiday crowds. It wasn't as busy as a summer weekend, but there was noticably more on the flights to the Med than last week. A lot of youngsters on Mid-term looking for some winter sun, he reckoned to himself. He tried to find a young man in a white epiletted shirt who'd look lost. The new guy. He said he'd meet him at the sandwich bar. Even in the airport, it'd be hard to miss someone in a large navy trenchcoat with 3 bar epilettes on. Friends had remarked that with the uniform he looked as if was heading out to a 1950s Connie, not the new Airbus he had been entrusted with. all that was missing was the tin cigar case and whisky flask.

"Captain Poole? Jim Cunningham, first officer"
The captain looked up from his people-watching. A young man, reddish hair, cleanly presented in his first officer's uniform, was standing with a case in his left hand and his right hand outstretched for a handshake. "Right, have a seat". They shook hands and Jim sat down at the other side of the table, looking across from the captain. Captain Poole, remembering the day when he himself met with the captain above him for the first time, leaned forward.
"Right then Jim, let's go through a few things....."

So, does anyone want to continue this, or let it go?.........

4th Nov 2002, 21:03
"Firstly, Jim, I'm a giver, not a taker........":D

4th Nov 2002, 21:50
"And what do you do for a living then?" :D

4th Nov 2002, 21:57
"I live on air", he said, airily.

6th Nov 2002, 12:28
"Really!, me too. Well, when I say air, I mean air and those little eccles cakes that me mum buys in t' shop in Ashton-Under-Lyne, on Stamford Street. Do you know it? just up from t' market where Bill Sourbutt had his flower stall all those years ago when 'e were on t'wireless wi' Gardner's Questiontime"

Jim gimaced inwardly............'Oh God, another blackpudding muncher!' he thought to himself.

"Interesting, Skipper, but I've never been further North on terra-firma than Lytham-St-Annes."

The older man worried about his new crewmate's navigational abilities but, confident that his own strengths would see them through, he lifted his coffee to his lips and silently thanked the monks in the Himalayan temple who had healed him after his accident and left him with the aerobic capacity of a water buffalo and the inate sense of direction of a Rotherham racing pigeon.......

edited for improved Lancashire accent.

6th Nov 2002, 16:02
"Eccles cakes", the Captain reflected. So the man read Proust then! Good! That was a start.

But there was more on the Captain's mind than temps perdu. What was it he himself had said? "Right then Jim, let's go through a few things....." . Yes, that was it. "Go through a few things".

Jim seemed all right, true, but was he really sensitive? The Captain knew they were looking for a study with a male centrepiece, and he was truthful in all things. But what should he say to Jim about that sex-change operation scheduled for next month? Anything? Nothing? "A minor cosmetic procedure", perhaps? After all these were enlightened days.

Vortex what...ouch!
6th Nov 2002, 16:13
He heard the rhythmic crunching of boot heals on concrete and looked up to see a detachment of the Euro-Police marching past in their crisp grey uniforms heading off to change shifts on the security points. His mind drifted back to the good old days when security at airports was handled by easygoing guards who didnít cause you any trouble when heading out to the aircraft. Ahhh the late nineties and early naughties were great he thought. Those were the days, never got messed about at all. He remembered there used to be some extremists who visited a site on the old Internet and did nothing but whinge about how they were treated. But not him, he was just about to start his first airline back then and boy did he show them, because now of course all airlines were virtual. His consciousness was invaded and he heard the words, Sir! Sir! As someone shook his shoulder.

Nothing like being topical ;)

7th Nov 2002, 14:17
The Captain drifted back into reality to be confronted with an airline clerk.
The thought balloon above the Captains head read "what the hell does this fairy want"
"Sir,sir there has been a terrible accident,a stray baggage cart has crashed into the sh#t-machine whilst pumping the crap out of your aircraft,there was a horrible explosion,looks like a delay while the aircraft is cleaned"
"gee whiz Captain,thats great,now I can tell all about the time when.....................
The Captain drifted away to another galaxy far away cursing the monks for letting him live,but at the same time remembering the inner peace they taught him which would help prevent him from strangling Jim.

Captain Stable
7th Nov 2002, 16:44
Suspicious Character:- "If you'd just like to sign here - and here - and here - thank you - and here. Thank you! Can you please let me have your credit card details now?"
Young Impressionable:- "What for?"
SC:- "You've just signed to say that you owe me US$275,500"
TI:- "What on earth for?"
SC:- "That's US$50,000 for the L10-11 type rating, $25,000 for the command course - you DO have 1500 hours, don't you?"
YI:- "No - only MSFS2002 experience"
SC:- "Not to worry - I know a great place you can buy a licence. Er - an extra $25 for that. There's also $500 for the interview and the cost of your shares in the airline."
YI:- "Oh dear - Mummy will be very upset"
SC:- "Ah - how old are you?"
YI:- "I'm only 14"
SC:- "I think we can find a way to waive up to $100 of that..."

Select Zone Five
7th Nov 2002, 17:22
Young Pete's eyes widened...excited that he'd already negotiated a discount before even starting. "This is gonna be easier than I'd imagined", he thought, as the suspicious character sloped off into the shadows clutching the signed contract.

Pete suddenly noticed he was downwind of an unsavoury odour. He looked around and saw 3 or 4 persons in reflective vests climbing over and frantically scrubbing the rear section of a nearby aircraft. "That's an interesting livery" he thought. "I thought the World Colours design was just on the tails, not the fuselage?".

Pete wandered off, walking around the strange looking people standing on ladders and with notepads and telescopes. "These guys look like trouble", he thought to himself...I'll report them to security when I get back to the terminal"...

Bio Kitten
7th Nov 2002, 19:05
Oswald Ben Lidon was a terroist or at least thats what he told himself he was when he looked at himself in the mirror before school each day.
He was a quiet boy with glasses floppy hair and a crop of extrememly venomous looking pimples rising on his forehead like so many small pacific volcanoes.
While he didnt have many friends each day he spent hours on the internet talking with other terroists all over the world who gave him helpful advice. Of course they didnt know that Oswald was only 16, they thought he was 45 a rich oil executive who majored in Engineering and nuclear physics at Havard.... But after all everyone lies on the internet dont they?
Today was his first trip on an aeroplane and with the help of his freinds in the El Kidder network he had a plan.....

WE Branch Fanatic
7th Nov 2002, 23:48
It would be so easy, he thought. One of his group would have an "accident" and spill hot coffee on himself, and as the the Hostie attended to gim she would lean over Oswald, who would then grope her finely defined bottom.

Training Risky
8th Nov 2002, 00:32
Little did Oswald know that due to the recent European commission ruling on equal employment of all three registered European sexes, he was groping a 'post-op transformer'

Barry Nice, the steward-person who little Oswald was as that moment caressing, didn't know where to put his/her face(!)
On the outside; 220 pounds of fertile Welsh farming stock, lured out of the valleys by the promise of free flights to the Orient. But on the inside; a timid, gentle mouse of a s/him who couldn't hurt a fly.

And inside that beating ribcage of his/hers lay a pumping, beating, throbbing heart; yearning for the love of Captain Poole...:eek:

8th Nov 2002, 01:20
Did Barry know of the Captain's coming op.? Had he/she the inside story? Was the longed-for romance to be A/C or D/C? Was he/she destined for ecstasy or despair?