View Full Version : It's it my CV or is it me; Have I been Underselling Myself?

Celtic Emerald
29th Oct 2002, 17:33
Well now I have been having a look or should I say a giggle (how many times have I tell you guys that I log on from the library & that you'se are not to keep making me burst out laughing in these hallowed & silent walls of learning) :mad: at the earlier Guv's thread. Now my attention has been drawn to the Guvs CV's & I'm grievously worried that I have been putting my CV together incorrectly & that not only have I been grossly underselling & representing myself I also have been asking to little of the companies I apply for in exchange for my services & eh skills :( Now I'm not talking about lying on me CV merely representing myself in a more favourable light if yas get me drift!!!! :)

Now lets see there was the stint I had as a hospital domestic in me teens. Now I normally gloss this up as 'customer service' which is not entirely a mistruth (I unlike some people don't lie on my CV) but wasn't exactly me job title either. Now I'm thinking I should dolly this up & my proper title should be 'Domestic Engineer'

There was also me stint as a nationwide saleswoman. I used to be driven around the country by speed maniacs (one used to race in Mondello Park, an Irish motor racing track). Unfortunately he couldn't tell the difference between the potholed roads of rural Ireland & Mondello & drove at the same speed on both much to my glee while me friend & I slid from one end of the back seat to the other & on occasion hit the roof. The other driver was a mad Kerryman (it wasn't from the stones I licked the phrase "ya dirty divil" ;) ) who used to take till Tuesday to get over from the hangover he'd attained at the weekend & who on one occasion left me off in a Limerick suburb & forgot to collect me. I had images of the emergency services being out on my behalf & when I finally made my own way back to the b&b I met him coming out red faced with a prostitute in tow. The other randy Kerryman (he couldn't speak to a woman without leaning over & trying to kiss them :eek: ) with us was as bad. Unbeknown to one of me fellow salesgirls he had a lady of the night in bed with him, she went into his room with a filmless camera & pretended to take a picture of him. Ya've never seen someone jump out of bed so quick in yar life :eek: Us innocent over protected Catholic convent girls didn't know what had hit us :confused: Now should my proper title for this job be 'Chief Sales Executive of the Languered Kerrymans Sales Association Incorporated!? I'm sorry EI whatever you're name is :o

Or there was me stint as a post sorter at Xmas. Should my proper title not be 'Chief Sorter & Mail Deliverer for Santa Claus, The North Pole'?

Worse!!!!! I was instructed when I was being taught in a major German company how to put my CV together that the company I was applying to wasn't interested in what I wanted (I got me wrist slapped for that one) but what I had to offer the company. Turned out they got it wrong again & were talking a load of complete bollocks!! :mad:

Now I always thought in me ignorance & naievity that unless ya had some priceless skill to sell the company called the shots not the employees & the perks associated with the job normally stated in the advert. What an oul eejit I was. The Guv has again shown me how it should be done. Next time I'll ask for a lakeside house, a car, a very large salary, a huge pension & any other perks I deem I deserve to consummate eh my vast worth & experience for any company eh lucky enough to employ me (now I am lying through my teeth, looks like I'm haven't been the only one) :rolleyes:


29th Oct 2002, 17:54
I heard he wil be headlining at the Wannabes Seminar (CV Compilation) at the Xmas Gatbash!;)

Col Blimp
29th Oct 2002, 17:56
Well well young lady....

If your CV is filled with the same local dialect that you use when you are writing on Jetblast, then perhaps it might be an idea to employ a spellchecker!

Ya and youse might be the spoken version in a local accent, but usually when writing, the convention is to ignore such local dialects and idiosyncracies - also if you are applying to a foreign company, they might not understand what it is that you are trying to communicate?

My goodness, imagine the confusion on Jetblast if Mr Draper were to write in his Northern dialect, and I dread to think what sort of gibberish we would be exposed to if my good friend Tartan Gannet was to write exactly as he speaks in that broad Scottish accent of his!

Hope this is of help!

29th Oct 2002, 18:27
Nonsense! Ignore him, Emerald, he is just an old Col Blimp. Stay just the way you are.

29th Oct 2002, 19:28
I'd just like to pop up here and point out that I'm being horribly slandered! For Shame!
Not *all* Kerrymen are randy, alcoholic and bad at driving - some of us don't drink!

And I haven't heard anyone from home say "ye dirty divil ya" in *decades*!

Oh, and for the non-Irish amongst us :
Us innocent over protected Catholic convent girls
Irish catholic school girls are the least innocent people I've ever known - if they're not running Ann Summers parties, they're attending, reviewing or planning them :D

30th Oct 2002, 09:27
Sounds as though young Peridot had quaffed a glass or two before sounding the trumpet, or was that blowing a strumpet. Underselling? perhaps not but good luck with the massive salary lakeside pad and flash car. Indeed who knows what a good CV might bring in. Oh, and I believe in the little people too.

30th Oct 2002, 09:44
Has anyone else every been recruiting, and been sent the CV of someone you used to work with at a previous job? It's happened to me several times - always amusing to see what people write about the time you used to work with them, and compare it to what you know to be the thruth..... :) I can't say I've ever seen any outright lies, but I've also never seen a CV which accurately reflects "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." Mine included! ;)


30th Oct 2002, 11:22
Celtic - are you a tad unwell at the moment ?

30th Oct 2002, 11:30
CE I don't know what I'm more shocked at - you being left stranded in darkest Limerick or the first post I've ever seen from you using a profanity!! :eek:

Southsiders, eh? ;) Yer need to lern yerself to talk proper!

Anyway..CV's...it really is about selling yourself. I'd one done up a few years ago, sent it to a mate who had been in HR and he reckoned it needed to be improved - mention of other experience I'd gained, e.g. what products I'd gained experience on while working in different places rather than just saying how I'd worked on X-Project at Y-Company for a while...

Celtic Emerald
30th Oct 2002, 13:17

It was worse mate, it was bleedin Shannon, ya know that place in the middle of nowhere where they stuck an airport. ;)

I'm sorry EI Sparks (Sparks, that's the name I was trying to think of), didn't mean to offend ya but tis true, from Caherciveen they were, infact later I was to find out one had done a spell in prison, a right bad egg but I know there not representative of the vast majority of Kerrymen I think.

Don't worry Col Blimp I use Oxford English for my CV, it's only after they employ me they realise how I really speak & then there eh so impressed with me work they decide to overlook it ;)

Lost Luggage, thats mighty kind of you to inquire about my health but why do you ask? :confused:


30th Oct 2002, 14:25
Ah, Caherciveen :) I know the place, though the locals tend to call it cahersiveen :D
Still though, they're not that bad there. Hell, that's where Daniel O'Connell hailed from, and he's apparently a distant relative of mine ;)
I'm just anxious to ensure that noone here thinks I'm anywere near as bad as the reprobates that dumped you in the middle of the largest industrial area in the whest :)