Indoor Artillery

[Fg Off Max Stout]

As I diversion from the general bitching and inane questions that have recently graced this forum, I am taking the liberty of prompting some slightly less serious discussion.

The glorious 60(R)Sqn currently has what I believe may be the most powerful Mess Cannon in the RAF. Based on the prototype built when on ULAS, the device is expertly engineered using a fire extinguisher for the breech and approx 6ft of steel piping for the barrel. This is mounted on a small gun carriage crafted from the wheels of a bike found at the back of the mess and a car jack, enabling fine adjustment to barrel elevation. The 2.5" weapon fires full cans of beer (ideally Kaliber or similar) up to about 120m, which burst satisfactorily on impact. The propellant is Lynx and piezo electric remote ignition may be added at the mid life upgrade. Its use in the mess would probably take out walls.

On a related note, I understand that parts of at least two messes have been destroyed with aircrew IEDs. I believe that Pablo Mason and a mate took out Wildenwrath OM annex.

CAN ANYONE BETTER THESE, EITHER CURRENTLY OR IN THE 'GOOD OLD DAYS'?

Incidently, why is the Military forum of the Professional Pilots' RuNe about 90% full of people who are neither military nor pilots. WEBF seems to be a prime example.

[Scud-U-Like]

I'm sure Airtours (or is it My Travel ?) passengers will be thrilled to read of Pablo's drunken, destructive exploits in the Mess. Perhaps this should be a private forum after all! :D

[Tiger_mate]

I believe that Pablo Mason and a mate took out Wildenwrath OM annex.

1. I believe that a "mate" took Pablo out of a Tonka on his last military flight! Command ejection and all that.

2. It is "Sixty" if you please, not that number blah that everyone else has.

3. Sounds an impressive cannon, but a salt cellar in a bun knocking a Master Eng unconcious still gets the tick for me. ...and a Super Soaker directed at an AOC is a close second.

T_M

PS

Is said cannon proven in "Dining in" Combat?

[Dunhovrin]

LYNX!! LYNX!! Are you mad?

Real men use a mixture of Brut and Hai Karate (some of which goes into the cannon).

Any Puma mates want to tell the story of the Kosovo Cannon?

[AllTrimDoubt]

My vote goes to "Charlie Brown" atop the bar during a recent Taranto Night...outstanding marksmanship Sir!

[ShyTorque]

This was OUTSIDE the mess at ODI, so a bit off topic.

The field gun that used to be charged with a thunderflash and a can of NAAFI beans used to be quite impressive.

Used to find beans all over the airfield until they welded up the barrel. Spoilsports, it was only innocent and harmless fun. :D

[Phox_3]

Seem to recall a large calibre weapon kicking around at Leu in the early 90's that did a fair bit of damage on occiasion.....

Anyone have a better memory than me? SLUF are u out there?

[bayete]

DE Flt @ Wyton got video of Kirsty the afore mentioned prototype still going strong taking out a piano pre burning on summer camp. Level shot of tesco value lager a 50 paces nice hole created!:)

[oldpinger]

I believe at the Tarranto 50th dinner at portland there was a mess cannon, shoulder slung, firing tennis balls using a machined breach and using screw in butane gas cannisters as a propellant. Not large bore as the one above but made up for it in range and muzzle velocity apparently.

Now if it was exploding cabbages we were talking about.....

[HectorusRex]

Does a Centurion tank main gun, loaded with a blank, and fired into the Army Officers Mess at Waiouru, NZ, count?
The tank involved was manoeuvred so that the barrel muzzle was actually into the dining room when fired!
This occurred during a formal dining-in night sometime in the '60's(?), and the blast removed most of the windows, and everybody present's hearing.:D :D :D

[Old Phart]

The ultimate Mess Cannon (http://daverob.catalyst2.com/Duxford3/SuperGun.jpg) is on display at Duxford. Perhaps they'd let you hire it for a dining-in night? :eek:

[Captain Gadget]

We had a Course Cannon at TTTE Cottesmore in the early Eighties. It was built out of ex-Airmens' Mess catering-size baked bean cans, boasted a calibre of approximately six inches, and was fuelled by lighter fluid. The projectile was a tennis ball, wrapped in many layers of newspaper and covered in bodge tape. It weighed about two pounds.

The cannon was 'christened' in the bar annexe at Cottesmore during a NATO duty-free-fuelled Christmas bash. The target was a hapless German Navy navigator (whose name now eludes me), who bravely (?) stood in front of the folding doors to the main bar with an empty wine bottle on his head and humming the theme from Rossini's 'William Tell' overture as the gun crew tried desperately to warm the thing up, being initially rewarded only with a pathetic popping sound and the projectile falling uselessly out of the barrel onto the floor. Not surprisingly, after a couple of repeats of this disappointment, the hitherto considerable level of interest from the assembled (increasingly inebriated) crowd began to wane; people began to turn away and interrupted conversations started up again.

However those who had so inconsiderately failed to honour the occasion with their continued attention were suddenly brought up short by a truly colossal detonation. The onlookers saw a very surprised 'gun crew' surrounded by a cloud of wispy blue smoke, an even more surprised German navigator, still with the wine bottle on his head and, about four feet above him, an impressively large, round hole in the wall. The cannonball came to rest on top of the suspended ceiling of the main bar.

The PMC went suborbital, and issued an edict to charge every officer present the princely sum of £5 towards repairs to the wall. However he was forced to reconsider this strategy when he was presented with a photograph, taken the same evening, starring himself as a quite properly enthusiastic member of the firing party...

I think the phrase went 'Ve haf ze negatif'. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[attackattackattack]

I have always enjoyed a session of indoor artillery until I realised just how amateur our approach was:

The real professionals (http://www.gotspud.com/featured/gun4.htm)

I like the multi barrel affair!

Rule 1: Make sure the PMC's prints are on the trigger :)

Edited to add this article (http://216.25.100.182/detail.asp?id=26) which shows a true dedication to the cause.

[teeteringhead]

Knew a guy at Fort Rucker once who made spud guns to shoot at armadillos in his back garden.

..... and you tell that to the young folk of today - and they won't believe you!

[PlasticCabDriver]

To reply to Dunhovrin, a couple of the chaps (I think SPIN was there) had a cannon made from nothing more than an old map tube which puffed away quite nicely on top of the Hazbar until someone squirted some 'borrowed' medical oxygen into the thing.

Resulting explosion got the French and the Italians (who were on the other side of Skopje airfield) to stand to, and Cdr JHF to stand to apologise a pair of rather irate Colonels.

Or something like that

[CSASdriver]

Phox-3

Quite right mate, "SLUF" built a monster at LU early 90s. As I recall, first proper firing, launched the "Half Brick, Bog paper and bodge tape" projectile out of the HAS site....so a replacement had to be made!

A garage door behind the Mess on a Friday bought it too......

SLUF, well done mate, that was an awesome beast!


C

[Poison Arrow]

Excellent thread Max, best for a while.

Your projectile is a Kaliber 'beer' can. Please tell me this is a play on words, or are you using this gun sober? Are you allowed to do that?? I'm sure that's against the rules.
And remember, always wear a flying suit when operating the contraption. During BFT my course built one, nothing in comparison to yours Max, out of the SOP catering bean tins. The bl00dy thing exploded after the usual 'phut', "Booooooo!", more lighter fluid, ''phut', "Boooo", even more, (repeat for 5 minutes), BANG! "ouch"
A fragment of can amost removed one of the team's thumbs; would have been worse if it wasn't for the suit.

More proof of the flying suit theory:
Sqn hedge jumping in Cyprus (after a lot of non Kaliber). Everyone makes if fine over the 6ft hedge, well some got stuck in the top but all were unharmed, apart from the SEngo (wearing blues) who landed on a tree stump and was taken to hospital and pizzed blood for a week.
What more proof do you need?;)

[Fg Off Max Stout]

Evening chaps.Thanks for the appreciation Mr
Arrow. Max, acquired a symmetrical badge
with three letters on it, for the uniform,
today - how about that then?

OK the Pablo thing wasn't a bedewindow(sic)
that was taken from his book. Stout snr,
Hunter jock retired, was in I think
Khormaksar with a mate, who left the RAF
about 2 hrs after taking a Hunter under
Tower Bridge (5 points for anyone who knows
the name). Said gentleman took a slice of
cordite from a hunter starter cartridge,
placed it in a large kiwi tin, with
tangential holes in opposite sides, applied
heat and stood well back. Device spins to
about 150,000 rpm, rises to 20ft, one side
explodes and the remainder travels at Mach
quite a lot through a window into the mess.
As for the use of bean cans in mess cannons,
early experimentation saw a QFI nearly lose
fingers when the breech exploded! Aero eng
degree has taught me not to believe in the
spurious art of baffles. And Kaliber -
well,PC dictates that there should be some
simulated beers at sqn parties for
T-totallers. Guess what's left at the end of
the night - yep - that's what gets fired.

Excuse me, I'm due back in the bar for the
second sitting.
:)

PS Oh and Bayete,

Glad Kirsty, the prototype is still going strong. Her fatigue index must be getting quite high now. Maybe it really is time for electric ignition - I reckon shards of fire extinguisher might hurt a bit.

[Big Green Arrow]

'Rocket Reg', he made a tops cannon in the far east from some bean tinz and a piazza (how ever you spell it) gas hob lighter that was great fun in the mess on fridays...ran on swan lighter fluid and luck.....and it was endowed with quite a range!

[ORAC]

Allan Pollock

[Fg Off Max Stout]

5 points Mr ORAC

Met Al recently. Top chap. Seems to exhibit old school RAF spirit, shame there aren't more like him. Story of gnat, bog rolls, AOC's house and 20 minute posting come to mind.

[bayete]

Fg Off Max Stout

???....Many there I was... replys, I ask where are you now!!!! and "show us the money"
Kirsty limits?? She is still going strong and after seeing last firing she will be going well after i leave!!
D.L.T.G.U.D.

[ShyTorque]

The Navy made a shoulder launched cannon during our CFS(H) course in '84.

At the grad the late George McCracken fired it in the ladies room at a stack of pint pots on the back of an armchair.

Got a DH, took out all the pots. "Fluke" we all cried.

"Never!" cried George. "Reload!"

Reloaded, and aimed at another stack of pint pots, George took careful aim but shot the pelmet, curtain rail and curtains clean off the window. The ladies room had just been completely re-decorated. Oops, very expensive, :D

[henry crun]

14 squadron at Fassberg in the early 1950's made several out of bits and pieces from portable camouflage shelters.

Powered by a thunderflash, the preferred indoor projectile was a box of Maltesers which could cause a surprising amount of damage.

[HectorusRex]

In the mid '50's there existed at RNZAF Wigram, ITW, a portable 'mortar' constructed from a length of heavy galvanised 2" (?) water pipe, approximately 2' long, and welded to a heavy square flat steel plate and angled upwards at 45 degrees.

The propellant was a 'thunderflash", as was the projectile, with a handful of coke as a buffer between the two.

Weapons Camp saw a 'visitation' from CFS in the form of several low flying Harvards doing their best to suppress any resistance.

Out of hiding came the secret weapon, complete with ample supplies of projectiles, propellant, and coke, and it was readied for firing.

The first unsuspecting Harvard that appeared was greeted by a perfect first time explosion of the projectile at the very apex of its trajectory, much to the amazement of the 'gunner', the crew of said Harvard, and the studes!

Egged on by a now enthusiastic group of former doubters, our 'gunner' tried for a repeat performance.
Unfortunately the timing of inserting propellant, coke buffer, and then projectile went awry, and the propellant went off before the coke inserting hand was clear, resulting in a severe case of 'gravel rash' to the hand of the 'gunner'.

The subsequent Court of Inquiry was unable to establish why some thunderflashes were prone to premature detonation!:D :D :D

[teeteringhead]

I recall a minimalist version of the instant coleslaw (TF in a cabbage) many years ago at a certain secret helicopter base near Basingstoke (when all the helos there had only ONE main rotor). Namely: the airburst grape.

A precision munition, it required the cutting up of a far-east style firecracker (REAL 28 Sqn guys will know what I mean) into individual charges. Inserted into a grape (opinion was divided as to whether the grape should be peeled), fuse lit and grape lobbed. If the timimg was right, a small bang and a face/neck/ear/cleavage full of bits of grape resulted. Quite stylish really.

Shy Torque

How good to see a mention of Geo McC in this pages. What a great bloke and much missed. He'd have loved the PU at Strawbs after his funeral - shame he missed it .......

[Double Hush]

"Normal" sized baked bean tins botch taped together with a breach loading mechanism for crow scarers as a propelling charge and firing tennis balls was effective (and relatively safe) for happy hours. Best shot seen was at 56(F)s disbanding party at Wattisham. A botch taped cabbage projectile fired into the HAS party, exploding against the roof with the force of the firing and then showering all gathered with coleslaw. As regards propellants, 2 questions:

1.) What is the 'after smell' when using Lynx/Brut/Hai Karate as a propellant?

2.) Who on earth discovered that this mix worked??

[VP8]

Try this link!!!!

www.digitalexistence.net/spuds/videos.html

VEEPS :)

[dudly]

Back in the late 60's while recuperating in the bar at Korat RTAFB Thailand, we would build a simple cannon with the barrel made of beer cans, lighter fluid for a propellent, and a tennis ball for ammo. One of our more adept pilots in the squadron could make one right in the bar in under 10 minutes. Great velocity across the room or down the extensive length of the bar and usually no permanent damage done to whoever was on the receiving end. This was not a real accurate device. We would keep the tape, lighter fluid, and tennis balls up in the low ceiling behind one of those movable panels for instant access. As far as building the barrel, well, we always started with brand new beer cans. One thing that always seemed to be in more than ample supply were the empty beer cans.

[kbf1]

Just as a matter of interest, can anyone add to/ammend the instructions below for maximum bang for the buck?

1. Take 4 catering sixed bean tins and cut the tops off 3 of them.

2. Cut half of the bottom off the 3 "topped" cans.

3. Gaffer tape the bottom (breech) and solder the 1st tin to the breech and tape the seal. Repeat with the other 2 tins, each rotated through 45 degrees to create rifling.

4. Drill a small hole in the breech for insertion of lighter fuel.

Using a cabbage and gaffer tape make an ammo ball and place in the end of the cannon. the ammo should be tight enough to make a reasonable airtight seal, but not so tight it will wedge.

Warm the breech and spray a small amount of lighter fuel in the breech and apply a small flame.

I believe the Hai Karate option is preferred for 2 reasons, 1. can anyone think of anything else to do with it?, 2. it is high in alcohol content and therefore flammable.