One of those moments

[Ascend Charlie]

We all hear stories of "He needed a change of underwear after that" as a joke about a tense moment. But did the person really loosen his bowels?

In the 80s I was floating above Sydney at night in the Pork Chopper (Pigs in Space!) on a surveillance for a drug bust. We were following a suspect about to sell drugs, and the ground crew were a respectful distance behind the suspect's car while we called his progress from around 4000'. The car stopped at an unlit park in Parramatta, in Sydney's west, and the suspect got out of his car and wandered to the middle of a football field.

The ground crews parked up and sneaked onto the field in the dark, and when they were ready to nab the suspect, they called for us to shine some light on the area. I quickly descended, and the observer lined up the 30 million candlepower Nite Sun and lit him up. The bad guy froze in his tracks in the middle of the bright spot of light, and from the shadows pounced the drug squad. "Thanks Polair" was the call, and we went back to base.

Our observer was writing up the flight report, and rang the Drug Squad to get the details of the bust. The cop at the other end was laughing loud - the suspect actually shat his pants when the light hit him, and the arresting cops were astounded at the stench. So, it does happen.

[Fortyodd2]

Similar tale from the UK. The A1 just North of Newcastle, crew responding to reports of a stolen Land Rover Defender heading South. Unfortunately for the crims, nearby were 5 Armed response vehicles on their way back to HQ from a training exercise. Crew spot the vehicle and talk the ARVs onto it. The ARV crews put their recently practiced skills to good use and pulled off a text book stop. En-route back to base, we hear over the radio - "Can we have a van for one of the suspects please?" "Why can't you transport him in one of the cars?" says the Inspector in the control room - "he's had a bowel movement!" came the reply. :O:O:O:O:O

[alicopter]

In 1985, I was having a sabbatical year on my sailing yacht around the Mediterranean Sea and one of my cousins' boyfriend joined me for a couple of months. We had a pretty scary episode in the Genoa Gulf and could not make way from the coast (classic wooden yacht with long keel and force 8 winds to shore... He had been vomiting a good part of the night and we had to drop anchor in a small bay as we could not sail out of it... Engine kaput... The anchor line was as stretched as a guitar chord and he wanted to abandon ship in the tender and go drifting ashore. In the light of a flare, I pointed to him to the lee stating that he would have to land the rubber dinghy on razor sharp rocks and that he would surely die of multiple cuts in two minutes........... He instantly added bowel contents to the already stinking stomac content... just before punching him in the face with such force it shocked me but knocked him out... I'll never forget the face of the SaR officer when he boarded my boat pinching his nose, after four hours of towing us out of trouble!!!!!

[Checklist Charlie]

Is this the same as the polititians whose bowels reverse empty every time they open their mouths.

CC

[aa777888]

In 1985, I was having a sabbatical year on my sailing yacht around the Mediterranean Sea and one of my cousins' boyfriend joined me for a couple of months. We had a pretty scary episode in the Genoa Gulf and could not make way from the coast (classic wooden yacht with long keel and force 8 winds to shore... He had been vomiting a good part of the night and we had to drop anchor in a small bay as we could not sail out of it... Engine kaput... The anchor line was as stretched as a guitar chord and he wanted to abandon ship in the tender and go drifting ashore. In the light of a flare, I pointed to him to the lee stating that he would have to land the rubber dinghy on razor sharp rocks and that he would surely die of multiple cuts in two minutes........... He instantly added bowel contents to the already stinking stomac content... just before punching him in the face with such force it shocked me but knocked him out... I'll never forget the face of the SaR officer when he boarded my boat pinching his nose, after four hours of towing us out of trouble!!!!!
It's amazing the **** that pilots get into when outside of the cockpit, and how they don't exhibit the same risk aversion they do when in the cockpit. Sailing, driving, motorcycling, skiing, etc., etc. Just goes to show you that the old risk-taking gene needs an outlet somewhere!

[Arnie Madsen]

Street thug in our town who had a bad reputation .... meet him on a sidewalk or hallway and he expected everyone to step aside and let him pass ... mean looking dude with pitch black eyes just like the devil himself.

Myself and three friends entered a restaurant ... the entranceway was a glassed in hallway with plate glass all around and visible to everyone inside ..... just our luck this thug was exiting at the same time ... leading our group was "Joe" ... super nice guy , never known to be a fighter , played a bit of football and was muscular .... knowing what was going to happen , Joe took the initiative , grabbed the thug by the lapels , hoisted him off the floor , slammed him against the glass and said .... "step aside when you see me coming"

That thug pissed his pants in full view of the whole restaurant .... soaked his crotch and it ran down the legs of his jeans ... scurried out the door and never bothered anyone again.