Quote Competition

[ASRAAMTOO]

I’ll start:

” The business of the Air Force is to fly desks and fight for Facebook likes. The business of those who don’t is to tweet for those who do”

[NutLoose]

Air power is most effective in a joint action with other military services such as the British Army and Royal Navy, and with government departments, all working towards a common national goal. We call this a full spectrum approach.


...............

[typerated]

I remember "close enough for government work". But you had to have a boss with a sense humour!

[Ascend Charlie]

"They're not gonna get THITTHHHH little black duck!"

[NutLoose]

Many of the pilots and other members of the Squadron join the Royal Air Force as a direct result of seeing the Red Arrows performing as children.

https://www.raf.mod.uk/display-teams/red-arrows/


Must be those Haribo's ;)

[NutLoose]

Its ability to operate into heliports or even locations with no landing facilities at all

If there is no landing facility of any kind how does it land?

It achieves its maximum endurance of two hours 40 minutes with up to six Leonardo AW109SP (A109SP) passengers on board, while its twin-engined powerplant expands pilots’ options when planning routes over built-up areas, as well as offering wide safety margins for flying in and out of confined landing sites.

How far does it go with Puma passengers?

https://www.raf.mod.uk/aircraft/a109sp/

[thelizardking]

"Should've worked harder at school" they love that one

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

I always liked Percy Pickard's:
"There's always a bloody 'Something'....."
Could have been the soundtrack of my life....

[farefield]

Boss chivvying up before a formation flypast,

"Let's have a big impact in front of the crowd"

[SLXOwft]

"6.52 We have carried out reforms to create more efficiency and greater transparency on costs. The 2013 White Paper Better Defence Acquisition and the subsequent Defence Reform Act 2014 have significantly changed the way the MOD undertakes single source, non-competitive procurement with the establishment of the Single Source Regulations Office (SSRO) as an independent regulator." SDSR2015

Some how the following was missed out: Unless, of course, we are buying from Boeing or (add other organizations here)....in which case the SSRO can take a running jump.

[NutLoose]

If you can't fix it, fack it, so no other facker can fix it.

[oxenos]

XXXXX has moved from crew 3 to crew 6, thereby raising the average level of intelligence of both crews.

[bobward]

My late father served his apprenticeship as a carpenter many years ago.
When he completed the five year course, his foreman called him in for 'a word'.
After congratulating him on finishing, he offered the following advice:
Promise me you'll always do the best job you can. and if you can't, the b*gger it up so badly the next bloke doesn't have a chance to fix it.

This worked well for me during my 40 odd (some very!) years in the offshore industry as well.

[NutLoose]

The strength of a chain is it's weakest link.

[Axel-Flo]

“When I went to DORIS, they offered me Pilot, Nav or Regiment Officer........but I said NO, it’s Admin or Nothing!”

[Wensleydale]

Enough said perhaps....
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/601x800/poster_684af1733190573824d4a1f5ad99891d698bed70.jpg

[charliegolf]

Never check- assume!

[Lonewolf_50]

"If you don't know what it does, don't mess with it."
(Sign on the wall in our senior maintenance Chief's office)
Good words to live by.

[ShyTorque]

The strength of a chain is it's weakest link.

So how come old style postage stamps used to rip in half rather than along the perforations?

[LOONRAT]

'So blogs a good landing can be assured if you remember not to let the ground do the rounding out for you'

[Null Orifice]

"The Americans cannot build aeroplanes. They are very good at refrigerators and razor blades." - Herman Goring (Goering, etc)
Source: www.azquotes.com › author › 23192-Hermann_Goring (https://www.azquotes.com/author/23192-Hermann_Goring)

[scorpion63]

If things don't change they'll stay as they are......

[Aneas]

'I thiught it a good idea at the time...'

[racedo]

"No idea what it will do the enemy but it scares the "crap" out of me"

[Haraka]

" Yes , you stuffed us Germans last time in WW2 .



But remember, next time its your turn to have the Italians",

[just another jocky]

Get in close and smash it!

[Dan Gerous]

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.

[30AB]

How long have you been in? Don’t look at your watch!

[Buster Hyman]

When asked why something was done a certain way, a colleague used to say; "It's Historical. We've always done it that way."

[PlusNet]

'I thiught it a good idea at the time...'
I believe this was said by a now deceased aerobatic pilot when climbing out of the wreckage of his aircraft!

[Rigga]

"Never assume - Guess."

"It aint about the size of the 'ole - it's about the size of yer 'ammer!"

"it looked alright to me?"

[Fitter2]

In one of his books the late, great and thoroughly politically incorrect writer (and veteran of the Burma campaign) George MacDonald Fraser quoted an 18th Century Judge:

"Reform - why, aren't things bad enough already?"

[ORAC]

" We’re the air force. We drop bombs, kill people and break their stuff. "

General Chuck Horner

[622]

"How many people work here?"

"About half of them...."

[ORAC]

...”My own view is that if Saint George’s first priority with tackling dragons had been force protection, I don’t think he would now be the patron saint of England”....

Air Vice Marshal Tony Mason, RAF

[bobward]

Remember that all the bits on the aircraft were supplied by the company that put in the lowest tender.

[racedo]

"Don't just do something, stand there"

Ronald Reagan

[racedo]

If at 1st you don't suceed then change the succes factor.

[racedo]

It depends what "is" is.

Bill Clinton

[racedo]

"I did not have sex with that woman, ok it was just once, the evidence you have seen is Chelsea."

Bill Clinton on HRC

[just another jocky]

If you can't take the Army/Navy/Air Force, you shouldn't have joined a joke (delete as appropriate)

[Rigga]

“The situation has arrived and has the Marines in hand.” Mae West.

“The French don't even have a word for Entrepeneur!” George W Bush.

“It’s been a real pressure working with you.” Me, when I left my last job.

[teej013]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Behind you all the way.
That'll do a trip.
Use a bigger hammer.
Watch this...

It's never done that before.

[typerated]

Practice D/F please:)

[typerated]

and maybe the military has changed but

"hurry up and wait!"

[huge72]

'' If you have time to spare, go by air''

[Sloppy Link]

" Yes , you stuffed us Germans last time in WW2 .



But remember, next time its your turn to have the Italians",
But whose turn is it to have the French?

[racedo]

It will buff out.

[racedo]

Well it was working when we gave it to you.

[SLXOwft]

(An insistence on) "The best, particularly in the business of defence, is so often the enemy of the good." Lord Carrington

[Radley]

You can’t have that, someone might need it.

If you didn’t put it down, don’t pick it up.

[Haraka]

"You are the fifth person today to come in here asking us for one of those. There's no demand.. we don't stock them."

[hoodie]

You can’t have that, someone might need it.

<Sigh> "What does that sign say, laddie?"

"Errr, 'Stores'?"

"That's right. And if we wanted you to have it, it'd say 'Issues', wouldn't it? Now jog on."

[RAFEngO74to09]

RAF Brampton Clothing Stores - mid-1980s:

Newly promoted AVM from HQ RAFSC: I would like some AVM composite rank braid please.

Storeperson: Sorry Sir, we don't have any in stock.

AVM: Why not ?

Storeperson: There isn't much demand for it.

[woptb]

“Have you tried switching it off and on?“

Or

”Try switching it on!”

[typerated]

They pretend to pay us - we pretend to work :)

Although perhaps that only applies to certain branches!

[typerated]

And did anyone have to do to stores for the following items?

Long Stand?
Long Weight?
Left-handed screwdriver etc.

spare bubble for the spirit level?

[Rigga]

And did anyone have to do to stores for the following items?

Long Stand?
Long Weight?
Left-handed screwdriver etc.

spare bubble for the spirit level?
"Sparks for the grinding wheel"
"Clean air for the Fume Calibrator"

[Hydromet]

And did anyone have to do to stores for the following items?

Long Stand?
Long Weight?
Left-handed screwdriver etc.

spare bubble for the spirit level?
Airscrew pitch.

[just another jocky]

Or get the students to go and sweep the glidepath.

[racedo]

No sir the gun is not loaded.
Why not as someone may break in and steal stuff.
Sir, there isn't enough stupid out there to want to do that.

[SLXOwft]

Cdr (Training) to our (pongo) Divisional Officer during divisions at Dartmouth:

"Please remind your young gentleman that they are not cavalry officers and they should all get their hair cut."