New EK drinking game

[donpizmeov]

To make some use out of the Wednesday arvo newsletter, some EK pilots have created a new drinking game, based around TCTs comments. So obviously, this only works when he is not away on his well deserved leave .
Rules of the game are simple. A shot is taken at his mention of IPad, HUD, unfortunate guessing of fuel price or new aircraft delivery.
If needed back issues can be perused, as it would seem he hasn't written anything else apart from this for some months now .
Identifying communications written for cabin crew, but rebranded as being written for flight deck crew by cunningly removing the word cabin before the crew (these fellas are so very clever right?), means you need to down a bottle of wine.
Best not to read the email too close to TOD .

[Capt. Flamingo]

Brilliant Don, that would explain the angry opening letter from the top guy on this week's chapter.

Ipads are in the premises, double black pearls for the ones that spot them first

[fliion]

Don




Looking fwd to next weeks drinking game - but before we gather I would like to donate a bottle of Kentucky’s finest bourbon as a bonus prize to the pilot that comes up with an example of the most appropriate weekly email template from his good-self i.e. what we actually want to hear.




Henceforth is my submission ��




“Dear All,




1.GCAA letter

I understand that there have been repeated issues with pilots attempting to obtain NAILs (no accident and incident letters) from the GCAA for the Chinese CAAC for the purposes of seeking employment in China. We fully appreciate those of you who have served the company well over the years but now want to return home and commute for the final years of your career - but you must understand that we have no influence over this matter. As the largest employer in the country and the largest customer of the GCAA and the fact that our boss is the boss of the DCAA - you must appreciate that any movement on this matter would involve me making a phone call to my seniors. Clearly this cannot be done for operational reasons. Secondly we actually have no contact with the GCAA or any meaningful relationship designed to assist the pilots of the worlds largest international airline. While we are on the point of changing airlines, we are still actively recruiting and if you have any friends please encourage them to apply with the necessary paperwork (don’t forget they’ll need a NAIL!)

—-

2.New Jumpseat policy

Thank you for bearing with us for 25yrs while we matched the industry (and our neighbor down the road) with our new JS policy. There have been some grumblings that taking money for these seats is unfair due lack of IFE, menu choice, spare pillows and blankets, reclining seats etc. We appreciate the fact that the presence of JS actually increase the service level for our paying customers on a full flight by negating the need for our FG1s to leave serving the customers while you lot ‘drop the kids off at the pool’ - but the good news is these extra two seats of revenue will contribute to profit and the share of said profit - for your benefit. Any change to the policy would necessitate a call to my seniors which is not possible due operational reasons.

—-

3.PPC retroactive grade change.

Yes, yes I know this is sensitive subject but it’s true, you haven’t passed the PPC until training mgt have read the report! Please familiarize yourself with this new policy - it’s can be found (heard) in the halls and corners (one in particular) of training facilities. You must understand that what actually happens in the sim isn’t what happened, it’s what was interpreted in the nomenclature of the written report that matters. A gentle reminder to the TRE that his assessment of a three or greater is not accurate as he is not qualified to be relied upon solely. His report must pass muster with the training mgt and ffs if I get asked one more time is a 3 the new 2 the answer is a resounding no! (unless it’s handling and then it’s a 1). I do hope this clears it up. Any change to this policy would necessitate a call to my juniors which cannot be done due operational reasons.




That’s it for this week, all I have time for - plenty more next week but I’m off on a well deserved break.




As always - fly safe

BBJ

[Emma Royds]

If one gets a bit peckish during such games involving alcoholic beverages, then may I suggest a packet of Tyrrells crisps from your local Costa to enjoy with your ‘sharpener’ or two.

I find them to be a rather suitable accompaniment!

[donpizmeov]

Do you mean the vinegar flavoured ones Emma?

[White Knight]

Drinking? Sadly the allowances don’t get much in the way of booze anymore at a lot of the crew hotels now that the top floor has asked the hotels to not offer discount on alcohol😳

[Python27]

Drinking? Sadly the allowances don’t get much in the way of booze anymore at a lot of the crew hotels now that the top floor has asked the hotels to not offer discount on alcohol😳

Same in guantanamo awys.... since a loooong time ago....

[Emma Royds]

Do you mean the vinegar flavoured ones Emma?

Indeed. They seem to leave a rather suitable bitter aftertaste!

[fliion]

Well this weeks update was rather robust.

Was it a result of a ‘well deserved break’ or forced leave!?

;)

[donpizmeov]

He may have decided to play the game when proof reading his bit .Ended up too piffed to get in on time .
Next week the HQ Costa staff will be introduced . Most were already trained baristas before joining Costa .

[Pif Paf]

So we just get a fleet specific update now - or at least I did!

[Pif Paf]

PS if there's nothing interesting to say then why do an update!