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Null Orifice
1st Oct 2018, 11:01
Do you have a way with words? Some of the best opportunities for the use of weasel-words, yuk-speak, etc often appear in sales/promotional literature (and party political manifestos!)

How about these from the website of a 'Talking Telescope' provider?
"The coin mechanisms take multiple coins & can have an extended view option to increase your vend price opportunity."

Linky thing (http://www.touristtelescopes.com/products/talking-telescope/)

DType
1st Oct 2018, 18:56
Had an interesting session with my German colleagues when they wanted to know the exact meanings of the English words used in one of our adverts, so they could replicate it precisely in Deutsches. The concept that the whole idea of an advert was that it should be meaningless factually but stimulating emotionally was foreign to them.
And the advert was for a significant capital cost engineering product.

ian16th
1st Oct 2018, 21:56
Ask a politician a question.

G0ULI
2nd Oct 2018, 01:12
English is uniquely suited to double meanings and hidden subtext. The current Oxford dictionary runs to over 500,000 words. The nearest equivalent in French to around 100,000. Most other languages make do with one word to describe an object or action and not twenty. Listening to the dialogue in foreign films and comparing it to English subtitles reveals just how limited a vocabulary many other languages use. Naturally it helps if you are multilingual to get the best effect. :oh:

Hydromet
2nd Oct 2018, 02:16
One of my young but very capable female colleagues once demolished a manager who'd waffled for an hour, by asking "Could you tell us hat you just said." Asked with an innocent poker face that we all knew wasn't real.

Pontius Navigator
2nd Oct 2018, 09:42
Or down at the work face level and your local salesman:

"This car is made of high tensile steel"

What's that then? Why is it special?

"The Sun's rays pass through the panel and heat up the panel and the heat is trapped."

How?

We didn't but the car and we didn't but the solar panel, the latter because of fraudulent practises. They would sell us a n oversize panel to exaggerate the benefit in comparison to other panels they would sell locally. Odd claim, pandering to greed.

ORAC
2nd Oct 2018, 10:28
Bullfighter.

https://www.accountingweb.com/practice/growth/this-synergy-will-incentivize-your-companys-paradigm-say-what

WingNut60
2nd Oct 2018, 10:51
.........."This car is made of high tensile steel"............


Interesting thought. I don't know what types of steel are used in light vehicles.
Does anyone here have any idea.

Most commercial vehicles are NOT particularly high tensile - susceptibility to cracking.
'High' tensile is a relative term, of course.

And, yes, I know about the DeLorean.

jimtherev
2nd Oct 2018, 18:28
...or in Walworth Road Market
"And this cd player has a CLASS ONE laser."
self: "Wots a class one laser?"
"It's what this cd player has."

So that's all right then.

India Four Two
3rd Oct 2018, 07:27
Years ago, when the Acura was introduced in Canada, I went to look at one, being the owner of an Accord at the time. The salesman very proudly told me that the engine was the same as Honda's F1 engine.

"You mean the F1 engine was developed from the Acura engine?"

"No, it's the same engine."

I left the showroom.

DaveReidUK
3rd Oct 2018, 07:58
One of my young but very capable female colleagues once demolished a manager who'd waffled for an hour, by asking "Could you tell us what you just said." Asked with an innocent poker face that we all knew wasn't real.

A good speaker will always:

1 Tell the audience what he is about to tell them
2 Tell them
3 Tell the audience what he's told them

:O

Pontius Navigator
3rd Oct 2018, 19:10
Dave, as Brigader Thompson said, when address his gunners he used the Tell'em system.

Hokulea
4th Oct 2018, 10:23
This is a site similar to one I used many years ago but has been updated a little bit. With a little practise you can come up with some seamlessly reconceptionalized and hyperscale resource-leveling stategic theme areas.

https://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

How about these from the website of a 'Talking Telescope' provider?
"The coin mechanisms take multiple coins & can have an extended view option to increase your vend price opportunity."

Linky thing (http://www.touristtelescopes.com/products/talking-telescope/)

Ooh, telescopes, I'll have to get in touch.

radeng
4th Oct 2018, 10:46
A good speaker will always:

1 Tell the audience what he is about to tell them
2 Tell them
3 Tell the audience what he's told them

The problem with that is when you are at a conference and every damn session goes through that procedure, it is most irritating and annoying. The audience should be aware of the basics what you are going to talk about - or otherwise, why are they there?

One of the problems of 'bullwords' is the mis-appropriation of perfectly meaningful technical terms into an incorrect context e.g. 'bandwidth' used for availability of resource - 'we haven't got the bandwidth to do that'. In another context, however, it is meaningful such as a '6dB filter bandwidth of 3kHz' or the 'occupied bandwidth of the signal is 1MHz'.