Private message etiquette

[pilotchute]

In the past few weeks I have had a few PM's asking for tips and advice about interviews for places I have worked at. ​​​​I have politely answered and given as much information as I can.

What have I got in return? Nothing. No "thanks for your help" or "cheers for that". No show of gratitude at all.

If that's the attitude of the next generation they won't be getting anymore help from me.

[KRviator]

In the past few weeks I have had a few PM's asking for tips and advice about interviews for places I have worked at. ​​​​I have politely answered and given as much information as I can.

What have I got in return? Nothing. No "thanks for your help" or "cheers for that". No show of gratitude at all.

If that's the attitude of the next generation they won't be getting anymore help from me.Don't feel too bad. I get the same on one of the railway forums I'm on. (Not so?) good to see it isn't just the upcoming crop of train drivers that do that.

[ShyTorque]

I get the same on a couple of car forums. I sent one moron a couple of photos of my car's engine bay to explain a point he'd quizzed me about. A few months later I found them copied onto another forum where he claimed the photos as his own and was giving others advice on the same subject as if he was an expert.

However, as far as flying for a living goes, the current attitude seems to be "If you're nearly 65, teach me everything you know, stop whinging, retire quietly and then move over!"

[Captain Nomad]

Have had the same from someone I knew who wanted critique and feedback on his CV. Got a nice lengthy email with the CV to start with. After going through and providing the feedback I didn't hear a thing for months (until the next version for an updated attempt was sent)! Even a one-liner 'thanks' would have been better than nothing...
What is it with 'kids' these days? Didn't their mother teach them that manners helps the world go round...?!

[gordonfvckingramsay]

Or if you're 40 odd, you get a 20 something kid slide in next to you teach you everything they know and then bang on about time to command. Only going to get worse as airlines are forced to scrape lower and lower.

[Bull at a Gate]

Don’t get me started on the young people of today. It’s the sense of entitlement I can’t stand. No gratitude for anything. And no respect either. And another thing ... (oops I got started).

Are we any different from every other generation looking down on the younger?

[AerocatS2A]

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint".
(Hesiod, 8th century BC)

[mattyj]

I’m oldish too and sort of agree..but let’s not be the ‘what’s become of young people these days..?’ grumpy old fogeys.

We seem to rate ourselves very highly as the wise old generation but if we’re brutally honest we were all young and totally useless too once

[DutchRoll]

I'm 51 and gee...... my similarly aged or older colleagues, friends, and relatives will whinge, whine and complain about literally everything! And every second bloody conversation they insist on crapping on about politics. Yep..... we're such an exciting and dynamic bunch.

I also remember my parents in the 70s and early 80s loudly complaining about the "younger generation" (mine) strutting around in their own little world with their Walkman cassette tape players, playing loud music on a new fangled thing they called a "ghetto-blaster" and disturbing the peace. In the 70s they were almost apoplectic at the length of my hair and my refusal to get a haircut, openly wondering about the emerging moral values of this new generation..... and so the hamster wheel turns, and turns, and turns some more.

However I've always made sure to thank people for helping me out, as instilled by my parents. As far as lack of basic manners like this, I would look no further than the parents of that person and openly wonder what values they have passed onto their kids.

[Mach E Avelli]

I too have had similar experience. I always make an effort to offer good advice when asked.. When the little ingratiates don’t acknowledge I make a mental note to ignore them when they next come asking.
Back when I was but a brat me Mum would rap me very hard on the knuckles with a convenient weapon if I did not say the required “please” and “thank you” at the dinner table. But knuckle rapping now is against the law.
I find Asian and South American pilots generally very polite. Rudeness and ignorant behaviour seems to be a Western thing.
Mahatir was right about us becoming the poor white trash of Asia.

[mattyj]

It’s not against the law when it’s your Ma...Mums are above the law!

[Klimax]

In the past few weeks I have had a few PM's asking for tips and advice about interviews for places I have worked at. ​​​​I have politely answered and given as much information as I can.

What have I got in return? Nothing. No "thanks for your help" or "cheers for that". No show of gratitude at all.

If that's the attitude of the next generation they won't be getting anymore help from me.

Not surprise about this. The number of times I've taken time to answer emails from "colleagues" looking to change jobs, only to not hear back - quite possibly because I didn't paint them a rose garden - is frankly quite shocking. Bad style.

[parabellum]

I see little hope of improvement when it has become acceptable on TV, for example, for presenters to say, "Me and my Mother/Father/ friend/ mates" etc. As a lad I could expect to be corrected by parents, school teachers and even, at times, my friends if I was selfish enough to put myself first. Have a listen now when there is any kind of discussion going on, "Me and my..........." has been allowed to become the norm. which aptly reflects the "Me first" attitude of much of the younger generation. I disagree that we, as youngsters, were just as bad as today's youth, we had manners, they were taught to us, mostly by example, sometimes by lesson.

[Union Jack]

I see little hope of improvement when it has become acceptable on TV, for example, for presenters to say, "Me and my Mother/Father/ friend/ mates" etc. As a lad I could expect to be corrected by parents, school teachers and even, at times, my friends if I was selfish enough to put myself first. Have a listen now when there is any kind of discussion going on, "Me and my..........." has been allowed to become the norm. which aptly reflects the "Me first" attitude of much of the younger generation. I disagree that we, as youngsters, were just as bad as today's youth, we had manners, they were taught to us, mostly by example, sometimes by lesson.

If I may drop in, having had a thoroughly enjoyable RN exchange appointment with the RAN, it's even worse here since "Myself and my...." is just as commonly heard. And don't get me started on "I was stood..." or "I was sat..."....

Jack

Jack

[NGsim]

Jack

Jack

God I hate it when the older generation sign their names twice in a message.

[megan]

The youngsters probably picked up on the "no thanks" concept from having having no acknowledgement from the companies to whom they have sent applications. Just saying.

[Wizofoz]

I'm 51 and gee...... my similarly aged or older colleagues, friends, and relatives will whinge, whine and complain about literally everything! And every second bloody conversation they insist on crapping on about politics. Yep..... we're such an exciting and dynamic bunch.

I also remember my parents in the 70s and early 80s loudly complaining about the "younger generation" (mine) strutting around in their own little world with their Walkman cassette tape players, playing loud music on a new fangled thing they called a "ghetto-blaster" and disturbing the peace. In the 70s they were almost apoplectic at the length of my hair and my refusal to get a haircut, openly wondering about the emerging moral values of this new generation..... and so the hamster wheel turns, and turns, and turns some more.

However I've always made sure to thank people for helping me out, as instilled by my parents. As far as lack of basic manners like this, I would look no further than the parents of that person and openly wonder what values they have passed onto their kids.


Well said. I also now know much of what my "olders and betters" told me in my youth turned out to be rubbish.

Our generation is leaving a harder, dirtier and more indebted and unequal world to our children. I don't blame them for not listening to us!

[Lookleft]

You only have to read the many posts from a select few posters who are very much part of the older generation to see rudeness on display. I witnessed some appalling behavior overseas recently where rudeness from Australians in the 60+ bracket was embarrassing. So if the next generation are displaying behavior that the older generation find annoying, then it is probably a result of them observing their parents and grand parents.

[Willie Nelson]

At the age of 44 I’m struggling to connect with some of the young kids joining me in the flight deck these days too but life is busy for all of us and living in a major city and looking to step up in your career is an even busier time of life, we’ve all been there too. Perhaps it might be useful to send a PM back to someone that has shown such disregard for commonsense and lead them by example to a better way, courteuosly of course.

Its always going to be more difficult to connect with someone online than it is in person, people say and do things anonymously that they would never dream of doing in polite company or any company, that is in part a function of the technology more than it is the generation I might suggest.

[pilotchute]

If you think it's only older Australians that are rude when they travel you are wrong. Americans, Brits, Germans etc are just as bad. What you forget is the majority of of older travellers are polite and very well behaved. I see far more young drunks being obnoxious than 65+ year old people.

[Lookleft]

The unfortunate fact is the obnoxious older Australians are very much sober and having had the benefit of being raised in a time of etiquette being important, should know better. Young people being drunk and obnoxious is not a new phenomenon.

[pilotchute]

Does being drunk excuse them for starting fights? For having a meltdown when they turn up at the ferry terminal drunk, 20 mins before departure and start screaming when no tickets are left?

Older people generally get obnoxious when the level of service they pay for isn't provided. Younger people seem to complain when they don't get top class service even though they book the cheapest thing they can find.

[ShyTorque]

Younger people seem to complain when they don't get top class service even though they book the cheapest thing they can find.

We are now seeing a generation who were brought up to expect everything for nothing.
What's more, rather than do stuff outside for real, they prefer to sit on their backsides and pretend they are doing it on an iPad. Then they believe they have really done it.
If it involves hard physical graft, forget it. Either a machine or someone else should be doing that.

[Lookleft]

Older people generally get obnoxious when the level of service they pay for isn't provided. Younger people seem to complain when they don't get top class service even though they book the cheapest thing they can find.

Thats very clever because if you swap the two protagonists around it is still a true statement!

Younger people generally get obnoxious when the level of service they pay for isn't provided. Older people seem to complain when they don't get top class service even though they book the cheapest thing they can find.

If you fly LCC, at least in Australia, both statements are true.