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rifruffian
16th Apr 2018, 16:55
hullo to the JB cognoscenti and what do you think..........is it a good idea, whilst you are alive, to attempt to pay for the for the disposal of your own corpse ?.......and what is the most cost effective way to do so, in UK ?

(think garbage collection rather than grand ceremony......)

G-CPTN
16th Apr 2018, 17:11
what is the most cost effective way to do so, in UK ?

Donating your body to a medical school (https://www.hta.gov.uk/donating-your-body).

DaveReidUK
16th Apr 2018, 17:12
Sky burial.

Eco-friendly, costs nothing.

oopspff7
16th Apr 2018, 17:13
Check out purecremation.co.uk very low key and very cheap. Save the money for the after event wake.

Brian W May
16th Apr 2018, 21:39
Paid for our funerals last year.

Cooperative deal. Daughter didn't like talking about it but I said mum and I would both be there just one of us would by laying down.

Got a bollocking !!

We've both opted for the barbecue :eek:

West Coast
16th Apr 2018, 21:59
I enjoy eating fish, only fair I return the favor. Cremation with the ashes being scattered offshore.

West Coast
16th Apr 2018, 22:03
Cooperative deal. Daughter didn't like talking about it

Went through that with my mom recently. She made us siblings walk the house with post it notes putting our names on her possessions that we wanted with her passing. Most uncomfortable.

clark y
16th Apr 2018, 22:04
Much more nutrition for the fish if you get thrown over raw rather than BBQ'd.

lomapaseo
16th Apr 2018, 22:06
Wifey expects a proper burial so the Angels can find her when her number comes up.

I said i didn't care when I'm gone as I no longer have a vote in the matter, but that in her case I intend to avoid the costs of caskets and she will have no vote at that time either.

She has sworn that the children will over-rule me.

My coffee is beginning to taste funny as I age, maybe I'm loosing taste buds.

West Coast
16th Apr 2018, 22:33
as I no longer have a vote in the matter,

Depends if you live in Chicago.

West Coast
16th Apr 2018, 22:49
Much more nutrition for the fish if you get thrown over raw rather than BBQ'd.

Just added medium well to my final directive.

Loose rivets
17th Apr 2018, 01:12
Got my letter from Addenbrookes saying yes, they'll accept me - if they need me. Well, that's no f:mad:ing use. I'll be dead. WTF am I supposed to do if I'm dead and they decide they don't want me?

What's more, I have to be within 40 miles of their building. I've asked the Rivetess to drop me off on a park bench with the letter in me pocket. Failing that, 500 quid to an Iceland early morning delivery man on his way back would be irresistible I'd think.

Don't be silly Robin. She's the only one to call me Robin, and then only when I'm being silly - which come to think of it is most of the time.

Anyway. I AM NOT PAYING FOR MY DEATH. i REFUSE. BASTARDS GOT MY MOTHER'S NAME WRONG AND I MAY AS WELL HAVE GONE TO FAULTY TOWERS. TOTAL JOKE. erm, am I shouting? Buggah? But it was a horrible experience and if my mum hadn't already paid, I'd have refused.

What was worse, by the most bizarre chance he used the name of a woman that happened to be the lover of a dear friend's husband. She'd known my mum for years and was stunned. We put her right, but what a farce.

So no F:mad:ing funerals. Especially mine.

Now, I'm ordering my kit for dispatching myself - in readiness you understand. Don't want to get caught out without it and be carted off to one of those places where they spoon feed you. Mind you, I'd soon get kicked out of somewhere like that - fondling bottoms and demanding fine wines should do it. And they'd never get my money. An entire industry set up to keep people away from the natural progression of souls. How can they think that's right? Bastards.

I want kids at Addenbrookes to take me apart and wonder at the astonishing size of my brain, and my heart and my . . . well, perhaps not that.:( But, but what if you do drive there and press the red button in their car park. Would they then reject you? That would be a bastard. He's not allowed to do that, we don't want him! My lot would answer, Nor do we, you wanted him, now you keep him! But we've got a full team! What? A full team. Twelve students and two cadavers - this gives four bats to hit the two balls around the lab. Batts? Legs. Balls? Heads! What else do you think we used for balls. Oh, no, they're too small.

I want to be hovering over the disectors. I want to hear if I was right or not. I told you I had that! Bloody should have been a doctor. I'd have been alive if I hadn't had that. Oh, and pressed that big red button in my car. But I wouldn't have needed to press that if my doctor hadn't made such a mistake. Exploding uterus? I always said he looked at me in a funny way.

But now, well, not quite now, but soon. I'm writing the letter of all my ills and operations to make it a bit more interesting for them. OOoooo, look. It is missing. Oooo, and look at how he managed after they cut that off. Clever old buggah.

Oh yes, I'll admit it. It's the postmortem adulation I'm after. Bloody spell check, postmortem is one word.

I've got a mate down under who's kit has arrived. Totally pragmatic about it. 3 cancers, practically bionic, and yet is still working hard on several projects every day. When he can't get up the steps on his ravine, he's going to sit down and press the button. Bloody good luck to him.

clareprop
17th Apr 2018, 02:20
When the big question was asked of Ronald Reagan by his daughter, he replied, 'Oh, well..I don't know. I guess you'll just have to surprise me...'

The Nr Fairy
17th Apr 2018, 06:15
You could do worse than read Mary Roach's book Stiff - a few chapters at the end dealing with how to bury, burn or otherwise dispose of a body when it's owner has done with it.

Me ? Probably freeze dried and pulped, or wicker coffin buried in such a way as I'll decompose fully and in an environmentally sound way with minimal energy consumption.

treadigraph
17th Apr 2018, 06:20
Went through that with my mom recently. She made us siblings walk the house with post it notes putting our names on her possessions that we wanted with her passing. Most uncomfortable.

One thing I checked with my siblings a few years ago after my mum was admitted to hospital for a few days with a nasty kidney infection aged 91 - if ever I was asked by the doctors about resuscitation I would say no, would they all agree? They did, though I'm glad I never actually had to make the decision.

Rosevidney1
17th Apr 2018, 07:40
Thank you for the link Nr Fairy, I've just ordered the book you recommended. Although pretty fit (I walk about 40 miles a week) at my age it is only prudent to get all the available information. I am not religious and see no point in wasting money on fripperies. I fancy being buried on my own land and a tree planted above me.

ORAC
17th Apr 2018, 08:12
Don’t care, haven’t made any plans, I won’t be there after all - candle in the dark snuffed out so to speak.

No kids and I’m leaving enough assets to my sisters - house etc - so they can do whatever fits in best with their religious superstitions and makes them happy.

goudie
17th Apr 2018, 10:05
As has been mentioned before, the ritual of a funeral is for those left behind and this must be taken into consideration, if one cares for family and friends.
Apart from being cremated, I’ll leave it to my daughters to decide the rest. Being a ‘good old dad’,it’s all paid for!

keyboard flier
17th Apr 2018, 10:29
I've gone for the donation to medical science and have been 'accepted', because I wanted to be of use after I had gone (SWMBO, says it would be nice to be of some use while I'm still kicking around this mortal coil!) and I'm too bloody mean to pay for a funeral.

rifruffian
17th Apr 2018, 10:50
OP here, LOL the JB responses have not let me down.
Post#12 from LR.......could even be a candidate for the jokes thread.....

Loose rivets
17th Apr 2018, 14:30
I did my usual mad-up thing on Quora the other night. Strange, one has to be sober to really get humour right, but I'm usually 3 sheets to the wind when I'm in full daft mode. I deleted that one next morning.

I'd like to write a funny book. I started it, but my funny mode keeps getting switched off because of the prospect of living in a cardboard box. If it does get writ, I'm mindful of calling it, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Crash. I'm trying to get the bloke that got me into all this flying nonsense to write it with me, chapter about chapter. His memoirs are coming on well and certainly bring alive the 50's and 60's start-up operations. Some of the stories . . . well, I'm mindful they won't be believed.

Right now, I'm thinking a lot about death. Yesterday I went back to the building in Colchester I was in during the war. It looked wrecked from cellar to the third floor, but strangely, the upstairs loo still had the same paint I remember as a child. Yes, I'm sure, and it's not that unusual in old shops in historic towns. The paint was from the 20's.

I've posted before about the ghostly experience I had last summer when I went into the old bus garage next door and walked into the complex Flying Freehold mixture of unused rooms and voids. It was truly strange. I didn't have time to feel any vibes yesterday. Workers were clearing the mess of behind-the-scenes kitchens etc., and mostly all I could think of was how wise I've been never to consume this furrin' plop that smells so enticing. The building is now owned by a Bangladeshi bloke and was run by ?? Turkish management. Their place two doors down is very smart. Pity though, it's on the Roman South Gate, and I wondered if the Council were going to restore the historic fabric. No, but they did add to the plaque on the wall with a bronz paving stone with historic information cast in.

VP959
17th Apr 2018, 16:15
Just seen this: Dissolving the dead - alkaline hydrolysis a new alternative to burial and cremation - BBC News (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/dissolving_the_dead)

Looks like there is alternative to wasting all that energy by being cremated.

goudie
17th Apr 2018, 17:54
Didn’t an infamous murderer use that method for getting rid of a body?

Loose rivets
17th Apr 2018, 22:01
Yes, but he died insolvent. :}

421dog
17th Apr 2018, 22:52
over here, it still costs nearly $2000 to donate one's remains to the local anatomic gift society.
Both of one's parents so desired, and I currently have their ashes at the house awaiting final disposition after 2-3 years of anatomic gifting.

The expense relates to having a funeral home come and get them, and transport them to the place that prepares them as anatomic specimens. The "gifting" as well as the option of having the ashes back after use, is free.

llondel
18th Apr 2018, 00:42
It was a cough
that carried him off.
It was a coffin
they carried him off in.

Mechta
18th Apr 2018, 05:11
If there's got to be a coffin, I want it in balsa wood, as it has more relevance to my life than just about any other material. Keep the contest grade wood for the people who need it for models; I'll be happy with stuff with knots. Going with the theme, the lid can be held on with some dowels and rubber bands. Shapewise, I want an aerofoil section. A Clark Y would be appropriate, but may need a hearse the length of a glider trailer, so maybe a NACA 2421 if the can get my cadaver's toes to point before rigor mortis sets in.

As for decoration of the coffin, I detest brass handles etc, real or fake. If anyone can be bothered to turn up for my send off, I want them to each have a magic marker, and cover the coffin with the blackest, most distasteful and non-pc jokes and cartoons that they know I would have appreciated.

It does seem a waste not use all that meat. If Battersea can't feed it to the cats and dogs, then I guess fish food it is (or put it out for the foxes?).

Whilst donating it for research seems honourable, as Harold Steptoe said to Albert, 'Donate your body to medical science? Yours would set them back twenty years.'

Bull at a Gate
18th Apr 2018, 13:05
My parents have donated their bodies to Sydney University. I tried to do the same but they wouldn’t have me. This was because I lived in the UK for more than 6 months at the time of mad cow disease. I am not allowed to donate blood or bone marrow for the same reason. So how do you all get on in the UK? Surely you don’t apply similar rules?

IBMJunkman
18th Apr 2018, 14:02
over here, it still costs nearly $2000 to donate one's remains to the local anatomic gift society.
Both of one's parents so desired, and I currently have their ashes at the house awaiting final disposition after 2-3 years of anatomic gifting.

The expense relates to having a funeral home come and get them, and transport them to the place that prepares them as anatomic specimens. The "gifting" as well as the option of having the ashes back after use, is free.

Not sure where you do business. :)

My Dad paid $300 to Loma Linda. They picked him up from the ER and took him to school. When they were done with him the class of students that used him and others have a service of thanks and recognition. The school gave me an option of getting the body or cremation. I went for cremation and they have a Columbarium for the remains.

I plan to do the same with me with Loma Linda.

bafanguy
20th Apr 2018, 11:55
Here ya go:

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/12/down-on-the-body-farm-inside-the-dirty-world-of-forensic-science/67241/