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Helol
31st Mar 2018, 15:23
Am I the only one who cringes each time I hear people clapping at funerals?

I just can't stand it, and I mean really, really can't stand it. Call me old fashioned, but I think silence speaks volumes, as it were, and applauding should be confined to the theatres/concert halls and those TV shows where the audience clap hysterically if someone on stage so much as says 'hello'

If anyone 'applauds' me when I've popped off, I will come back and haunt them for the rest of their days! :*

radar101
31st Mar 2018, 15:26
I agree!!


- also cannot understand quiz programmes where the contestants applaud themselves!!

oldchina
31st Mar 2018, 16:01
I hope you don't die of the Clap, Helol

Krystal n chips
31st Mar 2018, 16:09
Am I the only one who cringes each time I hear people clapping at funerals?

I just can't stand it, and I mean really, really can't stand it. Call me old fashioned, but I think silence speaks volumes, as it were, and applauding should be confined to the theatres/concert halls and those TV shows where the audience clap hysterically if someone on stage so much as says 'hello'

If anyone 'applauds' me when I've popped off, I will come back and haunt them for the rest of their days! :*

OK then, if you insist, you are old fashioned ( but not that old fashioned in one sense ) but there again, so are many on here.

The nature of funerals has changed considerably over recent years.

Some, naturally, are sombre and dignified occasions depending on the nature of the deceased and / or the form of death.

Others, however, are celebratory regarding the life and personality of the deceased as are the celebrations in their honour afterwards. Clapping can, and should, be viewed as a mark of respect and acknowledgment to the deceased in this context.

Whilst it's not in my imminent social diary ( some of the chaps will be saddened to learn) I don't intend for the event to be morbid and melancholy, it's only the location which could be a bit tricky as I would dearly love to cause traffic chaos and congestion in one particular part of the UK. The clue maybe that it's a pretentious Tory stronghold.

Mind you, I can think of a few people I've met whom I would be more than happy to clap for, and celebrate their demise afterwards, when they finally stop being oxygen thieves.

Helol
31st Mar 2018, 16:23
But Krystal, why this obsession with 'celebrating' everything? I'm surprised anyone is still alive as they must be in a constant state of heightened excitement drowning in their own bunting with this endless celebrating they do!


I have attended quite a number of funerals during the past 10-15 years, all very close family members, but not one of them involved clapping though. Were we miserable sods? I don't think we were, it just never occured to anyone to start applauding.

Agree with your last para.:ok:

(PS - I'm a bit younger than many of you on here, so if I come across as 'old-fashioned' it doesn't mean I am 'old' per se, although old is of course relative) :)

larssnowpharter
31st Mar 2018, 16:24
Funerals have become more and more a 'celebration of life' than a rather morbid sending off to the next life.
I see this as a positive change and believe that it is perfectly acceptable to applaud a life well lived. It may well, indeed, reflect the more agnostic world we live in today.

Helol
31st Mar 2018, 16:52
Funerals have become more and more a 'celebration of life' than a rather morbid sending off to the next life.
I see this as a positive change and believe that it is perfectly acceptable to applaud a life well lived. It may well, indeed, reflect the more agnostic world we live in today.

When I pop off, I want people to nash their teeth, wail, and wear black for a year. :}

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 16:58
Funerals have become more and more a 'celebration of life' than a rather morbid sending off to the next life.
I see this as a positive change and believe that it is perfectly acceptable to applaud a life well lived. It may well, indeed, reflect the more agnostic world we live in today.

Having been to more than my fair share of funerals even as a youngster I love those that celebrate the live that was lived.................... which has pretty much ruled out funerals of White English people. They are staid, lets talk in quiet voices as it would wake someone.

Not surprisingly given my religion I have attended more than my fair share of Irish funerals from people whose families I knew from school / church.
None yet have got to Finnegans wake levels but they have celebrated someones life and the remembering them is part of it.

Remember one 20 odd years ago where B in law of deceased got himself arrested on way back from working men clubs where deceased had been remembered. He was on bridge of major A road at time...................... back at the family home there was much laughter when we found out.

Some of the African ones also full of the joys of celebrating someone's life.

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 16:59
When I pop off, I want people to nash their teeth, wail, and wear black for a year. :}

Put photo's up of the (potential) Widow woman and we shall see if she needs comforting............. How much are you leaving her ?

goudie
31st Mar 2018, 17:19
I’ve never experienced clapping at a funeral but I read a eulogy at the funeral of a dear friend, of many years. It was mostly about our friendship and frequent visits to our local pub together. It was slightly humorous in parts and raised a few laughs. He would have been pleased.
Funerals must be the only social occasion where photos and videos aren’t taken.

Tankertrashnav
31st Mar 2018, 17:24
Having been to more than my fair share of funerals even as a youngster I love those that celebrate the live that was lived.................... which has pretty much ruled out funerals of White English people. They are staid, lets talk in quiet voices as it would wake someone.

Once again it is apparently perfectly acceptable to criticise "white English people's culture". It's the way I like and I'm not in the least ashamed of it. And I'm a left footer too - the two are not mutually exclusive. No weeping and wailing, just quiet reflection does it for me.

Helol
31st Mar 2018, 17:26
Put photo's up of the (potential) Widow woman and we shall see if she needs comforting............. How much are you leaving her ?

LOL, but I'm not lesbian.

vapilot2004
31st Mar 2018, 19:08
The tone of funerals really depends on the departed, their culture, and the company they kept. Growing up, there seemed to be a funeral every few months for a while, with the typically expected funereal countenances at many of them, although the wakes could get a bit out of hand, bringing folks together from all across the globe, some having never met, then adding alcohol to relieve the emotional stress. Mother often reminded us that 'funerals are not for the dead, they're for the living'.

Funerals must be the only social occasion where photos and videos aren’t taken.


At my brother's funeral, our Monsignor's new hobby had him snapping group photos next to my brother's casket. We thought it a bit odd, mother reminded us siblings to not smile, and it still is a bit painful to look at them, although family members that could not attend were able to view the eulogies as those were videoed by our intrepid Father also.

dook
31st Mar 2018, 19:16
Funerals must be the only social occasion where photos and videos arenít taken.

But sadly cretins still do not switch off their :mad: mobiles !!

Helol
31st Mar 2018, 19:21
Have you not seen the plethora of Funeral Videographers/Photographers around these days...?

Not only can you have a beautiful wedding photo album, you can now place the funeral album next to it!

goudie
31st Mar 2018, 19:26
I would find that very distasteful. I believe the funeral should remain in one’s memory as does the dearest departed.

G-CPTN
31st Mar 2018, 19:35
I have a funeral to attend this coming Wednesday - a school friend who went on to teach my son mathematics.
I would like to have been able to tell him that my son went on to achieve a double first in maths at Cambridge.

Likewise, a few weeks ago was the funeral of one of my maths teachers - I was his first pupil when he joined the school.

Sadly, the departed is not available to converse with at their funeral.

axefurabz
31st Mar 2018, 19:37
Our local funeral director has taken to posting funeral notices online which is handy for those of us who cannot regularly get to the usual places that display them.

But why would you choose to "like" a funeral notice?

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 19:38
Once again it is apparently perfectly acceptable to criticise "white English people's culture". It's the way I like and I'm not in the least ashamed of it. And I'm a left footer too - the two are not mutually exclusive. No weeping and wailing, just quiet reflection does it for me.

Who criticising.......... its observational and damm close to every White English funeral I have ever been at, even you in agreement with the observation.

How someone wishes to be remembered its up to their family.

Personally would love 12 dancing girls dancing my coffin down the Aisle..................... can't see the priest going for that though. :E

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 19:39
LOL, but I'm not lesbian.

Er presumed you a guy :O

Just so few women populate JB.

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 19:42
. Mother often reminded us that 'funerals are not for the dead, they're for the living'.


I am in agreement...................

racedo
31st Mar 2018, 19:49
Our local funeral director has taken to posting funeral notices online which is handy for those of us who cannot regularly get to the usual places that display them.

But why would you choose to "like" a funeral notice?

In Ireland the family publish a death notice in National newspaper which tells people of death, funeral etc.

Given that if you die on a Monday then buried Wednesday / Thursday then it was surprising how many people actually turned up to pay respects.
Not unknown in a small workplace for the whole place to shut and have a morning off to attend funeral.
Bearing in mind many have family in Uk/US it was said that Aer Lingus profits some years were helped by last minute family members rushing home for a funeral but also give them credit that also on many occasions there were bereavement fares at a lower cost.

Helol
31st Mar 2018, 20:36
Er presumed you a guy :O

Just so few women populate JB.

No worries, happens all the time on here. :)

treadigraph
31st Mar 2018, 22:55
I would find that very distasteful. I believe the funeral should remain in one’s memory as does the dearest departed.

Totally agree. We gently stopped the grandchildren videoing the scattering of my mum's ashes.

I celebrate the life, I need no reminders of the death of those I have cherished. And I enjoy the reminders of their humour at the funeral; we lost a brilliantly funny colleague at thoroughly stupid age earlier this year - his packed funeral bellowed with laughter at the memories of those invited to eulogise him.

annakm
31st Mar 2018, 23:35
What about the massive public round of applause at Diana’s funeral after the vomit inducing speech by Charles Spencer? What a load of hyperbolic claptrap that was? The same man who weeks previously had denied his ‘hunted’ sister refuge in his private estate because he didn’t want press intrusion. The hollow promises of nurturing Princes William and Harry independently from the influence of the Windors - and then peeing off back to his estate in South Africa.

No fan of the late POW or him but a funeral is neither the time or place to take a pop at your in-laws (or anyone else for that matter) The height of bad taste and poor timing.

Can’t help feeling the eulogy was more about point scoring and self promotion than a celebration of his sisters life.

M.Mouse
31st Mar 2018, 23:36
It has already been mentioned that a funeral is for the living and I always think offers a degree of comfort to the surviving family when many friends and acquaintances make the effort to attend and pay their respects.

I would also find applause out of place but having said that when I hear a fitting, touching and often humorous eulogy I always feel that I would like to express my appreciation to the deliverer of said eulogy knowing what a difficult task it is.

I usually do so in person at the following reception.

Hydromet
1st Apr 2018, 01:14
My wife does not attend funerals. Just won't. At her parents' funerals she sat outside. Fair enough, her choice.
However, when I suggested that since she wouldn't be attending my funeral (should I go first) it made sense for me to offer my body for study or research and avoid the need for one. She was horrified.

Slightly off topic, I can't get over the rip-off prices for veneered chip-board coffins. I've made a solid pine coffin, so know what's involved. Fortunately, in my woodworking association, there is a young lady who can knock up a traditionally-made wooden coffin, (fully legally compliant, although the funeral directors will try to deny it), in about an hour.

megan
1st Apr 2018, 04:48
If you want a happy crowd at your funeral say you're military and invite the WestBoro church along, you'll get all the cheering you can handle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU0wCIwAPgI

young lady who can knock up a traditionally-made wooden coffinIn Oz we can get cardboard coffins helping to cut the outrageous funeral prices.

meadowrun
1st Apr 2018, 06:18
Ahh....you're talking about Hawking's funeral in Cambridge.
The man needs no noise.

UniFoxOs
1st Apr 2018, 07:40
When I pop off, I want people to nash their teeth, wail, and wear black for a year.

I want then, not to GNASH their teeth, but to get what's in my wallet and have a good party with it (If I've managed what I set out to do there won't be owt else left). If there's enough dosh they can get some grub in and use their nashers that way.

UniFoxOs
1st Apr 2018, 07:44
In Oz we can get cardboard coffins helping to cut the outrageous funeral prices.

My wife wanted this, but the FD explained that cardboard was dearer than chipboard as the cardboard had to have strengthening engineered in to it so it wouldn't collapse when transported.

Helol
1st Apr 2018, 09:50
I want then, not to GNASH their teeth, but to get what's in my wallet and have a good party with it (If I've managed what I set out to do there won't be owt else left). If there's enough dosh they can get some grub in and use their nashers that way.

Oh my word, I can't believe I wrote 'nash'. I am embarrassed! :\

pulse1
1st Apr 2018, 10:32
I'm going to the funeral of an ex colleague on Friday. His hobby was playing the double bass in a jazz band and I understand that his double bass will be alongside the coffin. I am hoping that some of his friends will be making it more of a New Orleans type of funeral with some good jazz music. It is interesting that although he suffered from alzheimers for several years, he still played in a band made up of fellow sufferers.

pax britanica
1st Apr 2018, 10:44
Funerals are of course sad occasions and for most I am sure a degree of sombre reflection is appropriate but one can get surprised.
A friend of my wifes lost her husband a few years ago, a lovey guy who died far too young.

He was a lifelong military man , Royal Engineers and there were many many ex comrades there in medals and very much an old soldiers bearing.

However at the end they all broke into the Royal Engineers song which is not funeral at all, being essentially whimsical and half in either an African language /Patois and ends with a rousing Hooray.

Of course it was highly appropriate because he was a proud and successful member of that illustrious body but for the civies among us no one knew what to do or react during the singing and the loud cheer at the end.

Luckily the Corps of Royal Engineers march which is both cheerful and sad at the same time came along next as the coffin was born away but at the time I and others felt very odd , probably not having experienced something seemingly impromptu and spontaneous at a funeral before

david1300
1st Apr 2018, 10:53
Our local funeral director has taken to posting funeral notices online which is handy for those of us who cannot regularly get to the usual places that display them.

But why would you choose to "like" a funeral notice?

'Like' is also a form of acknowledging and thanking (not that pedantic Brits would know :ok:)

Heathrow Harry
1st Apr 2018, 10:55
I don't mind applause at my funeral but I'll come back if they all cheer....................

funfly
1st Apr 2018, 13:04
As I approach my own funeral, I will make no suggestions about what people do when I am cremated. Funerals are for the ones that are left behind and, together with a good bite of ham sandwiches washed down by cheap sherry, give some sort of closure.
What sort of funeral you have is therefore dictated by the needs of the ones who will be sobbing in their handkerchiefs, the words and tunes that will help them come to terms with what has happened. It wont matter a toss to me, I won't be there.

treadigraph
1st Apr 2018, 13:07
I don't mind applause at my funeral but I'll come back if they all jeer...

goudie
1st Apr 2018, 13:07
Isn’t that what Woody Allen said? ‘I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to there when it happens!’

Helol
1st Apr 2018, 16:06
I want a sky burial. Put me out on top of a hill and leave me to the scavengers. That'll do nicely.

obgraham
1st Apr 2018, 21:05
Why all this bemoaning over clapping?

To me clapping is merely indicating your approval of the event for which you clapped. So if folks issued fond recollections of Billy Joe, why is it inappropriate to express your solidarity with said recollections?

Some of you are working hard to find things to be offended by. As is your right.

Hydromet
1st Apr 2018, 21:16
Now this is a send off.
https://youtu.be/xI6TRTBZUMM

goudie
2nd Apr 2018, 09:30
Obgraham. After I had read the eulogy at my friends funeral a chap came up and said how much he’d enjoyed it and felt like clapping, but thought it inappropriate. So you do have a point.

Heathrow Harry
2nd Apr 2018, 09:50
Now this is a send off.
https://youtu.be/xI6TRTBZUMM


yes - you can feel the pain but also a great release for the family I thought

and it shows what a Hakka really means instead of a made for TV start to kicking an egg about a bit of grass....................

Heathrow Harry
2nd Apr 2018, 09:51
I want a sky burial. Put me out on top of a hill and leave me to the scavengers. That'll do nicely.


"scavengers"??

you might come back as part of a Triumph TR3...................

treadigraph
2nd Apr 2018, 10:20
Or a Spitfire...

Molemot
2nd Apr 2018, 13:30
I recall the funeral of an uncle...when I arrived at the house to await the cortege, I noticed that my cousin (the uncle's eldest son) was giggling. I realised something was up..so I asked him what the hilarity was about? He said "Remember what Dad used to say...bloody great Daimlers...grinding along at 6mph....it's a sin!!" Thus his two sons had scoured the county for the fastest hearse they could find...a Volvo, as it happens... and instructed the driver that, when they got to the ring road, he was to give it the beans and see how fast he could get it to go!
The cortege duly arrived, hearse looked well up to the task, so did the driver, and off we went. End of the road, turned left instead of right, ended up in a farm yard, much reversing by all and sundry...and then we were off. When we got to the ring road, away went the hearse. rear of it dwindling in the distance...once could almost hear the occupant cheering... When we got to the crematorium, I went to the hearse and asked how fast he had managed to get it to go? "About 85," he said "then I had to brake for the roundabout. All the flowers came hurtling forward, all over the windscreen, and I couldn't see....!"
The rest of the proceedings were rather more restrained...and no clapping was heard.

Jack D
2nd Apr 2018, 16:12
I recently attended a ďliving wakeĒ
an old friend was dying of cancer and the time line of towards the inevitable was frighteningly precise ! Plenty of clapping and the terminally ill patient bravely managed more than a few ndrinks ... Iím not sure if I enjoyed the experience , there are so many opposing points of view , but itís not really about us, is it .