View Full Version : THE SHAPE OF THINGS

23rd Jan 2018, 05:27

When and where did this song have its nascence? Was it before The Kingston Trio and before Blossom Dearie? Was if first performed at an Oxford University Review?

And are there any other sublimely witty lyrics, in the same vein extant, that equal this one's appeal?

Completely round is the perfect pearl the oyster manufactures.

Completely round is the steering wheel that leads to compound fractures

Completely round is the golden fruit that hangs from the o-o-orange tree

Yes the circle shape is quite renown

But sad to say it can be found

In the lowdown, dirty run-around

That my true love gave to me

That my true love gave to me

Completely square is the little box he said my ring would be in

Completely square is the envelope he said good-bye to me in

Completely square is the handkerchief I flourish constantly

As I dry my eyes of the tears I've shed,

And blow my nose which turns bright red

For a perfect square is my true love's head

He will not marry me, no

He will not marry me

Rectangular is the hotel door my true love tried to sneak through

Rectangular is the transom hole by which I had to peek through,

Rectangular is the hotel room I entered angrily, and

Rectangular is the wooden box

Where lies my love neath the golden phlox

They say he died of the chicken pox

In part I must agree

One chick too many had he

Triangular is the piece of pie I eat to ease my sorrow

Triangular is the hatchet blade I plan to hide tomorrow

Triangular the relationship which now has ceased to be

And triangular is the garment thin

That fastens on with a safety pin

To a prize I had no wish to win

It's a lasting memory

That my true love gave to me

Hussar 54
23rd Jan 2018, 11:07
Sorry....Don't know that one at all....But you asked for any other wiity / ironic lyrics.

Well, my favourite song lyric of all time was in the 1977 Michael Franks song Eye of the Storm.

I hear from my ex...On the back of my cheques

Far too many friends and colleagues who've been there, done that....

23rd Jan 2018, 11:18
You kill me with kindness.
You call me "Your Highness."
But When I get Blue
I can never find you.
The circle keeps turning
The sky is still burning.
I hear from my ex-
On the back of my checks.

But hold me awhile
And I'll hang up my guns, mama
I know I've been flyin'
Too near the sun.
We'll move to the mountains
And make love to keep warm, mama
Like two little birds
In the eye of the storm.

This cloverleaf madness
Just fills me with sadness.
We glide on these streams
Just postponing our dreams.
The love that's inside us
How come it divides us?
It just ain't like Cole Porter
It's just all too short order.

23rd Jan 2018, 11:59
Step 1: Put 1st line or refrain + lyrics in your search engine. You'll get back artist and title.

Step 2: Insert result in tube of U search box.


23rd Jan 2018, 13:42
I think Tom Lehrer takes some beating for lyrics.

Among many, The Elements is brilliant as is Masochism Tango.

If you have never heard of him, give him a search on t'internet. well worth a listen.

But he was American (but I certainly won't hold that against him).

23rd Jan 2018, 17:06
Shape of Things (Circle song) also done by Flanders and Swan, I think.

After an excellent landing etc.

Ascend Charlie
23rd Jan 2018, 20:33
Even better was "Shapes of Things" by the Yardbirds

24th Jan 2018, 01:42
Thank you Smeagol . . .. yea verilly . .Tom Lehrer is the tops for that type of satire. He came to Australia. There he was banned in South Australia and in Queensland, because of his song 'Be Prepared'. That one is a merciless send up of the traditionally perceived and lampooned Scout Master; particularly his gender leanings, including his borderline attraction to little boys.

The man who produces a music program weekly on the Australian national broadcaster, Andrew Ford, himself an accomplished composer, has interviewed Lehrer on more than one occasion. One memorable revealing was that the often strong connection between musicians and mathematicians is there in Tom Lehrer, who taught mathematics at University.

'The Elements' is a rendering of the periodic table, ending with -

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
And there may be many others but they haven't been discovered.

( 'discovered' made to rhyme with 'Harvard')

A son of mine, aged 10, won a party-piece performance prize by memorising
and singing this song. But sad to relate, here it is NOT like father, like son. Although I can, with enough lubricant on board, come up with an approximate imitation of Max Gillies' parody of The Good Ship Venus.

One stanza goes -

The ship's dog's name was Big Balls
But nobody knew why he was called that
There was nothing remarkable about the size of his knackers
And the name was offensive and gratuitous


24th Jan 2018, 06:05
Among many, The Elements is brilliant as is Masochism Tango.

A son of mine, aged 10, won a party-piece performance prize by memorising
and singing this song.
Tom Lehrer's Elements song is also my 10yo granddaughters favourite party piece, especially when she's accompanied by her father & two grandfathers. She also does 'Poisoning Pigeons', just to wind up her teachers.

24th Jan 2018, 08:44
Excellent tip belfrybat

I hear from my ex...On the back of my cheques reminded me of two songs I heard many years ago in a bar on Duval in Key West (The Bull?).

"All my Exes live in Texas"


"There ain't enough whiskey in Tennessee to drink the ugly out of you."

Both found via Google and You Tube. Result!

25th Jan 2018, 01:52
Tom Lehrer taught at UC Santa Cruz, quite a few years ago now.
Another one of his ditties was called "The Vatican Rag".... hilarious!
Another, about rocketry "once the rockets go up, who cares where they come down, that's not my Dept. says Werner von Braun"

25th Jan 2018, 05:42
Here's Billy Bragg's Full English Brexit.

I think it sums the whole thing up rather well.

"Full English Brexit"

My neighbours don't drink at the local
Or have kippers for breakfast like me
The food that they eat smells disgusting
They'd rather drink coffee than tea

It's true that their kids are respectful
They gave me their seat on the bus
But it's just that there's so many of them
That I fear what will become of us

I'm not racist, all I want is
To make things how they used to be
But change is strange and
Nobody's listening to me

I cheered when our side won the Cold War
Spread freedom and peace all around
Now there's folks speaking Russian in Tesco's
It's a shame the wall had to come down

I know some are fleeing from war zones
To keep their young children from harm
But my parents stayed put through the Blitz years
And me? I was sent to a farm

Yeah the sun shines, but sometimes
I don't feel like this is my country
But to say so? Oh no
I never get no sympathy

Once we ruled over an empire
So it feels like some kind of defeat
To comply with rules drawn up by strangers
And measure in metres not feet

We don't want to go but by Jingo
If we can't be in charge, then we must
But don't be offended, dear neighbour
It's not you: this is all about us

But it's alright, alright
I think I've found a remedy
Yes it's alright, gonna be alright
It's a full English Brexit for me

25th Jan 2018, 05:50
And here's the late, lovely Victoria with her take on PC.