View Full Version : Was he a Captain or an FO?

17th Jan 2018, 08:12
We've all flown with one of these types of guys... yeah? no??


Ah, for simpler times, when things weren't complicated by so many rules and regs :}

17th Jan 2018, 08:33
Isn't it "No smoking 24 hours before flight, and no drinking within fifty feet of the aeroplane"?

17th Jan 2018, 10:41
Many thanks - will set recorder

17th Jan 2018, 12:23
I'm told Dino never used to rehearse, just used idiot boards for his script.
Foster Brooks is always hilarious.

Barksdale Boy
17th Jan 2018, 12:24

Sound advice, but more honoured in the breach.......

18th Jan 2018, 05:11
no drinking within fifty feet of the aeroplaneIn earlier times didn't the junior CC take an order from the other crew for a tipple once chocks were in place and prior to disembarking? Other tales say a bottle of champers opened. HR these days doesn't permit good relationships between the hoi polloi/serfs/wage slaves/great unwashed on the company dime.

18th Jan 2018, 08:04
Ah, the landing drink.

One could tell a few stories about those.

As soon as the engines stopped at the end of the last sector, the door would open and in would come your order. Always a short, since you could not ‘tot’ a can of beer. ‘Toting’ is another story.

Shut down once, and in came the landing drink, followed almost immediately by a customs officer;

‘don’t touch those drinks – you will pay duty before you drink them.’

My captain looks at him and says;

‘we are not finished shutting down this aeroplane, you will be reported to the CAA as a flight safety hazard, get off my flight deck now!’

He leaves and the skipper says we have 5 secs to either drink up or pay up.

Sure enough 5 secs later the door opens once again, in he bursts to find 3 empty glasses and at least me with the hiccups.

18th Jan 2018, 12:09
Does anyone remember "Brake Dwell Cocktails" on the Britannia?

18th Jan 2018, 16:05
Ah, Reverse Thrust Cocktails.

So I'm told:O

Albert Driver
18th Jan 2018, 17:27
Don't remember the chocks or engines stopped requirements.
Do remember when taxiing into the terminal at JFK the Kennedy Ground call, "Cheers, Speedbird" indicated the drinks had arrived a bit soon.

18th Jan 2018, 17:32
What about the ' hot' stewardess? Or was that later?

18th Jan 2018, 19:22
My take on it was that "flying duty" ended once the engines were no longer running. The spool-down time before doors open was "my" time. Not yet officially on British soil. However, I do remember once the junior CC brought the drinks forward at about the outer marker. Nowhere to put them but the cup holder. I did wonder what the investigators would make of it in the event of an accident. Happy days; long gone.

Ref the "hot" stewardess,. No, he was going to take a long shower first.

19th Jan 2018, 09:08
Another one.

Aeroplane shut down, and G and T going down when a crewing officer runs on to tell us to position the empty jet to MAN.

To late! So the urgently needed jet sits at LGW for 3 hours until a new crew can be found.

The result was a ‘missive’ from the management – no more landing drinks.

3 weeks later and the engines shut down, when the number 1 comes in to tell us to get rid of the landing drink, the Chief Pilot is outside waiting to take over the aeroplane.

Captain can’t face downing his in one, so he opens the DV window and throws it out – all over the Chief Pilot doing his walk round.

19th Jan 2018, 11:18
I guess some you can't win. We went tech in Europe and had to position the aircraft empty to the UK maintenance base. The cabin crew were getting home another way, and very kindly put a few "hotel fresheners" in a bag which was in an overhead locker. Landed at said maintenance base, to be met by a rummage crew from Customs. :eek: Of course, they found the drinks. "Oh, the cabin crew must have forgotten to take them off in xxx". The excuse was accepted, as were the drinks!! Dry old night for the pilots. :{

19th Jan 2018, 19:50
Departure rules:

Bottle to throttle 12 hours. Worth remembering.

19th Jan 2018, 19:52
How did bottle to throttle morph into landing drinks?
Moving on; there was a story about the boss of major UK now defunct airline, which had there cutest hosties, who flew as a pax on a company a/c on his birthday. It was the wont of the cc's to take off, from the bar, any unopened bottles, plus a couple of crew miniatures per man. Very necessary for the room party down route. It transpired that the boss as staying at the same hotel and the crew invited him to the room party for a birthday cocktail. Ho considered this very generous and was amazed at how much hooch was swimming around the room. On glancing at the labels he realised it was from the a/c. The continuing story can be written in many versions, but I understand he was not best pleased, eventually.
French milk slipped into to the central pedestal cup holder on taxi-in was a treat with some skippers in 80's, but never touched until shutdown check list completed. On biz-jet days, swanning in from some French airfield, before all the EU stuff, the duty customs guy met us for the paperwork and manifest etc. and a wee tot from the cabin bar oiled the wheels for a speedy re-entry to UK. The personal french wine bottles remained behind the toilet mirror until we were in the hangar.
There was more to the good old days than some realise. It was the little things that often made you smile the most.

23rd Jan 2018, 09:51
Mid eighties, last BA flight out of Hong Kong on Christmas eve to London via Delhi.
Landing to offload the indian contingent and to refuel, we stayed on board (I counted 4 passengers left on the plane) whilst cleaning and fueling was carried out (through passengers stayed on the plane then?), very worried cabin lady approaches with a trolley full of mini champagne bottles, could we hide them please as they had forgotten to seal them up before landing and that they would get into trouble with customs. As no one got on the plane back to London a lot of alcohol was consumed over the next eight hours or so which was fine until having landed I had to drive back to Cambridge on Christmas morning.:=:E

Mr Oleo Strut
25th Jan 2018, 21:37
The engines spooled down, safety-belts released, sighs of relief expressed and I'd greet the Purser and open the cockpit door to speak to the Captain. Sometimes I could smell the booze through the fug of cigarette smoke. Certain airlines were much freer than BOAC and BEA with the drink, Pan Am and TWA especially. Their crews were permitted to take special 5-packs of 40oz bottles of spirits back to the US and often they got broached on board, especially on quiet transit flights. I enjoyed many a Champagne cocktail on BEA up in first class, and there was always loads of Vodka available on the Russians. I'm sure that there was quite a lot of in-flight crew drinking at that time but nobody bothered much, and in my years at LHR I don't recall many problems with drink or bad behavior but, of course, times were different. And who was I? Just a lowly Customs Officer in the Swingin' Sixties.

Now for really serious 'toping,' ships were much different. After we'd cleared ship and crew we'd usually be invited to join the Officers and the Pilot for a bite and a few bevvies, all very jolly and, my, could those lads drink! For even greater temptations, breweries, distilleries and bonded-warehouses were heaven to the serious drinker and, sadly, many colleagues succumbed. I will never forget being sent out to measure and formally sample 500 drums of Advocaat on a cold, wet and windy Scottish quayside. I've never touched it since. Those were the days!

25th Jan 2018, 23:41
Glayvar and cold milk in a white, plastic crew cup - best landing drink ever, looked like tea but tasted a lot better! ;)