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Uplinker
5th Jan 2018, 11:10
This idea comes from another thread where a Ppruner has a problem with a neighbour’s noisy aircon, and I thought it might be helpful to share problems with noisy neighbours and suggest proven solutions, elegant or otherwise.

I will quote myself from that other thread to start things off.

PS Happy New Year !


Neighbours and noises....what a pain it can be.

Our neighbours have wind chimes in their garden, so we can’t sleep when the wind is above a certain threshold.

Before that we had a drummer two doors away on the other side.

We bought an ultrasonic dog-bark trainer to stop our other neighbour’s dog barking.

It is difficult to complain because one false move and you can alienate the neighbour which will result in zero cooperation.

Mind you, when we were selling our house, the drummer neighbour didn’t cut his grass out front. We didn’t want our buyers to think it was a slovenly area but I did not know how to broach the subject. One day as I was cutting my grass, I saw the guy and asked if he wanted me to quickly do his grass while I had my mower out. Fortunately I got the social interaction right and he wasn’t offended. After that, I would cut his grass when I did mine but only when he was out. After about 2 months of me cutting his grass for him, he got the hint and went out and bought his own mower. Result.

So maybe you could offer to fix this guy’s condenser fan, explaining that it might damage the motor and result in a costly repair otherwise? If he refuses your offer, perhaps you could chuck snowballs into the fan to seize it up completely?

It’s tricky these days with so many security cameras around..........

B Fraser
5th Jan 2018, 11:15
A famous Ppruner had a problem with a neighbour's dog who kept barking at all hours of the night. He tried all of the normal civilised approaches but nothing was ever done. I think a few sausages laced with laxatives were eventually thrown over the fence.

treadigraph
5th Jan 2018, 11:25
Terrible problem with neighbour's terriers barking at night for several years - I did eventually get the council involved though I asked them not to prosecute. Don't understand how if I could hear it and be kept awake, they couldn't. Much better now and we are OK as neighbours.

His predecessors had several loud parties - that stopped after I played Led Zep, Pink Floyd, Mountain and various other choice rock groups very loudly from about midnight till two or three in the morning, the night after one of their soirees when they were, oh, so tired - neighbours the other side were away!

I think a few sausages laced with laxatives were eventually thrown over the fence.

I did consider sausages laced with something else! They also got out of the garden and onto the main road a couple of times and it was very tempting to let nature, or rather the heavy traffic, run its course.

Trossie
5th Jan 2018, 11:35
His predecessors had several loud parties - that stopped after I played Led Zep, Pink Floyd, Mountain and various other choice rock groups very loudly from about midnight till two or three in the morning, the night after one of their soirees when they were, oh, so tired ...Playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor back at them at full volume has a similar desired effect! Or some good operatic arias!!

VP959
5th Jan 2018, 11:37
Years ago I lived next to someone who left their Alsation outside every night, and it barked incessantly. She refused to even discuss it, saying she had never heard her dog bark.

This was before people had caller displays on phones and I had one of the first big "brick" mobiles. I got hold of her number and every time I was kept awake by the dog barking just rang it. I'd let it ring a few times, then hang up before she answered, then repeat the process for an hour or so, or until the dog stopped barking.

After a few nights of doing this one of the other neighbours told me she was getting woken up every night and noticed her dog was barking. For some reason she assumed the dog had woken her up, rather than my phone calls, but the net effect was that she brought the dog indoors at night and the problem, went away.

Tech Guy
5th Jan 2018, 12:50
At my previous house, I lived next door to a couple of Polish lesbians. They were very much of the cute girly type and nothing like the Eastern Europe shot putter stereotype.

They were a nice friendly couple and we often said hello and on occasion observed them in bikinis snogging in the back garden. This invariably meant that mowing the lawn took longer than expected. :)

I remember one evening when I was convinced they had bought a tattoo machine and were practicing tattooing on each other. Evidently, this was proving to be both a painful and religious experience for them. However, they did seem keen to keep trying and didn't give up until almost 2 hours. :ooh:

Bob Viking
5th Jan 2018, 12:54
I have no idea if your story is genuine but it did make me smile!

BV

NutLoose
5th Jan 2018, 13:00
I used to have a neighbours cat that would scratch my car to death, so made friends with it and took it out for the day, leaving it in a well off area some miles away....


At my previous house, I lived next door to a couple of Polish lesbians. They were very much of the cute girly type and nothing like the Eastern Europe shot putter stereotype.


I think I too must be a Lesbian, because i would of had the urge to join in.. :E

Krystal n chips
5th Jan 2018, 13:53
I used to have a neighbours cat that would scratch my car to death, so made friends with it and took it out for the day, leaving it in a well off area some miles away....
.. :E

Oh did you now ?......well congratulations, sunshine, on proving what a complete and utter ( insert any derogatory / anatomical slang term of choice here ) you are !.

Not only did you cause uncalled for distress to the animal, you also get a bonus for doing the same to the family or individual who owned the Cat.

There are plenty of harmless, to the animal, ways of dissuading a Cat from doing what Cats do......cruelty is not one of them ! :mad:

I'm not exactly over fond of humanity causing cruelty to innocent and defenceless others of the same species, but even less so when innocent and helpless animals are subjected to needless and senseless cruelty by humanity !

oldchina
5th Jan 2018, 14:13
Better to give pussy to the two lesbians

NutLoose
5th Jan 2018, 14:24
Krystal it was not looked after at all.

goudie
5th Jan 2018, 14:24
Nothing worse than some noisy, usually, electric lawnmower or strimmer whirring away on a peaceful balmy Summer's afternoon, when one is snoozing in the garden.

treadigraph
5th Jan 2018, 14:29
Krystal it was not looked after at all.

And cats are the absolute maestros at adopting new owners. A neighbour's cat all but adopted me (I wouldn't feed it, bar the odd tiny morsel). Lovely cat it was, miss it* and them - nice people.

*Don't think the robins do though!

Loose rivets
5th Jan 2018, 15:08
I've probably mentioned it before - I've mentioned most everything - but when I was in Texas, our lovely (professional) neighbours came striding across the road with the broadest grins.

"Go on, say that thing you say. You know, about cats . . . how you call your cat." He said. His wife maintained her grin.

"Huh? Oh, . . ." and here I was mischievously evasive. "Here, Kitty. Kiiiiiity."

"No! That other thing."

I felt it unfair to string it out. "Oh, you mean Pussy."

They could both have easily earned their livings as toothpaste adverts as the grins turned to laughter.

"Yeh, that. Go on, say it again."

"I'll do better than that. Give me five minutes and get your telly on. I'll be right over."

I cut them a disk of Mrs Slocombe's Pussy.

pax britanica
5th Jan 2018, 16:41
tech guy-As someone who visits Eastern central Europe regularly it appears to me the stereotypes are reversed and all the babes live there and the dogs live here in UK.

Were we better off with the cold war when Polish lesbians might be heavily built road menders or tank drivers and the Brit female wasnt characterised by a fake tanned twenty year old with a body built on Chocolate, McDs and Prosecco .

Pontius Navigator
5th Jan 2018, 16:57
Uplinked, we had charming wind chimes, very restful of a sunny afternoon. After 2-3 years our neighbours mentioned the charms disturbed them. We moved them.

hiflymk3
5th Jan 2018, 17:06
Uplinked, we had charming wind chimes, very restful of a sunny afternoon. After 2-3 years our neighbours mentioned the charms disturbed them. We moved them.

What! You moved your neighbours?

ShyTorque
5th Jan 2018, 17:10
I think I too must be a Lesbian, because i would of had the urge to join in.. :E

But I suspect you're more of the shotputter type... :p

ShyTorque
5th Jan 2018, 17:19
My father told me about a problem with a dog which was tied up by an MT officer every night in the stairwell of the Airmens' accommodation, during his National Service in Aden. The dog was a "Pi" (wild desert dog) puppy and it had been banned from the Officers' Mess because it barked and howled all night long.

After a few nights of this, in the early hours, there was a loud "clang", a brief yelp and no more dog noises. Somehow a fire extinguisher mysteriously fell off the wall on the top floor and down the stairwell, not quite missing the dog...

Krystal n chips
5th Jan 2018, 17:29
Krystal it was not looked after at all.

Ok then.....in that case, if you were so concerned as to the Cats welfare, why not contact the R.S.P.C.A......rather than take it upon yourself to relocate the Cat purely because, it was, ostensibly, scratching your car.



" and it had been banned from the Officers' Mess because it barked and howled all night long.

On that basis alone I'm surprised it wasn't made an Honorary Member....it would have felt quite at home really.....especially on Dining In nights.

ShyTorque
5th Jan 2018, 17:33
" and it had been banned from the Officers' Mess because it barked and howled all night long.

On that basis alone I'm surprised it wasn't made a Member....it would have felt quite at home really.....especially on Dining In nights. Oh, what a cracker of a joke!

As in: I'll bet you're the bloke who writes the jokes in Christmas crackers.

Fareastdriver
5th Jan 2018, 19:30
I once lived in the Scottish countryside near a large wood. People from the nearby town would sometimes bring a surplus cat and release it into the wood. They believed that it would turn wild and look after itself.

My neighbour was quite happy with this arrangement.

They would keep the foxes off his chickens.

Krautwald
5th Jan 2018, 19:47
I´m sure just about everybody knows these guys: :E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU

jindabyne
5th Jan 2018, 20:15
cruelty is not one of them !

But elimination is -----

I used to have a neighbours cat that would scratch my car to death

--- and I don't read that as 'ostensibly', KnC

NutLoose
5th Jan 2018, 20:52
I cannot see the disgust, I opened the door he or she hopped in, I drove a while then opened the door, he or she decided to hop out..... I left. No coercion involved.

ZeBedie
5th Jan 2018, 22:25
Look Krystal, I'm top of the food chain and a stray cat is some way down. If it crosses me, it's going to have its life rearranged, because I can. Boo hoo poor kitty.

Shack37
5th Jan 2018, 22:35
KnC
I fear you´re wasting your time on this one. There are those who enjoy seeing an animal suffer, hopefully a minority and those who don´t.

Private jet
5th Jan 2018, 23:04
A bunch of "old wimmin" this forums become.....

broadreach
5th Jan 2018, 23:17
New Year’s Eve here (outskirts of Sao Paulo) has always been stressful because of the effect of fireworks on our dogs. One of our next-door neighbours, otherwise friendly but who can’t take the hint. For years my remedy was to lay down with the dogs on the floor of the quietest room of the property, the workshop, and try to keep them calm. I’ve never understood how people who have dogs can be so blind to the their own pets’ suffering.

Tankertrashnav
6th Jan 2018, 01:08
I read somewhere that a major cause of noise complaints about neighbours comes from the modern fashion of removing fitted carpets which were all the thing 30 or 40 years ago, and instead having wood block floors, or similar. Particularly bad in flats if you can hear your upstairs neighbours clacking around the place at all hours.

Living in the country I have one set of very nice, quiet neighbours whose house is around 100 feet from mine, and other than them, that's it. I dread the day when old age and infirmity dictate that I need to move back into town - not sure I could put up with living in close proximity to others again.

evansb
6th Jan 2018, 02:23
When most air conditioners are functioning correctly, they make minimal obtrusive noise. If a panel is loose or a compressor part is defective, or a fan bearing is failing, the noise can be unbearable. Even twigs and old leaves caught in the unit can cause weird noises. Perhaps offer the services of a local HVAC repairman, or inspect it yourself and offer unsolicited advice. Who knows, you may get a free cocktail, make a new friend, or be on the receiving end of a profanity laced tirade.

Krystal n chips
6th Jan 2018, 05:41
KnC
I fear you´re wasting your time on this one. There are those who enjoy seeing an animal suffer, hopefully a minority and those who don´t.

I know and I've long since realised that fact. But it comes as no surprise to read the comments from those who are happy to see, and inflict cruelty on, animals all have a similar background and flawed personalities.

Animals have souls, personalities, intellect and emotions, just like humans ( well apart from those clearly devoid of these traits that is ) and place their trust ( clearly misguided at times ) in humans who, in turn, have a responsibly, being ostensibly more developed than a mere cat or dog, for the welfare and care of animals we either encounter or bring into our lives. There's also the inconvenient fact domestic animals have been responsible for saving human lives many times over the years as well as providing comfort and friendship for people who may otherwise have little of either in their life.

" I cannot see the disgust, I opened the door he or she hopped in, I drove a while then opened the door, he or she decided to hop out..... I left. No coercion involved "

That's pretty self-evident really, and you'll be gratified to read the moral support you've received on here from kindred spirits.

Now, I'm not a member of m'learned friends profession, but, having commenced with the admission you deliberately conveyed the cat, after befriending it, to a "nice area"....just because the area is nice doesn't mean the population are...heaven forbid if a mere animal should enter their pristine gardens or walk on their manicured lawns....you then said the cat wasn't looked after, and now, the cat, it seems, voluntarily entered your car, sat there without a murmur.....as cats do, then merely exited when you stopped, but I'm reasonably confident that if a budding prosecution counsel on week one of a Law degree were offered this as evidence in a criminal context, they would be able to secure a conviction against you.

cattletruck
6th Jan 2018, 06:56
Speaking of neighbours and cats...

I had this wonderful Russian Blue cat that used to let total strangers pick him up. He was a very quiet cat with loads of attitude, he used to think of himself as a lion. He would never meow for food, he'd just stand there looking at you and say "well?".

My aged nut job neighbour on the left used to hit him. Not because he didn't like cats but rather because he didn't like us. My cat soon learned to avoid his yard.

Unfortunately he disappeared soon after my other neighbour on the right got chooks and was letting them roam in their backyard which is illegal.

I searched the pound and the RSPCA but my cat never showed up.

My aged neighbour on the left being a product of WWII is the cause of much misery to those around him including his daughters. The shysters are lining up to get a piece of his 6 properties but at 96+ the [email protected] just won't die.

My other neighbours on the right have no friends and I'm beginning to believe that the house the live in is being paid for by the Indian government, much like the Chinese. They tried taking us to court over a fencing dispute but lost. Then they took out three absurd intervention orders against us, the first one was thrown out on the first hearing, their lawyer dumped them on their second hearing, and they withdrew the other two on the third hearing. Retards.

ShyTorque
6th Jan 2018, 07:25
My neighbour on the left is a little strange, too, for more than one reason, but that's by the by.

His little black cat first made itself known to me by suddenly rubbing itself against the side of my head while I was in the garage, lying on my back working underneath my car. Scared the living day lights out of me and made me head butt the chassis. It almost always appears while the garage door is open and sometimes sits on the engine bay alongside me if I'm working on a car. But if I'm just out in the garden, it won't approach me, even if I call it in a friendly manner. It must like cars.

sitigeltfel
6th Jan 2018, 07:31
Half an hour ago our cat was having a scrap with the neighbours moggy, a whirling tumbleweed of fur and spit. I just let them get on with it but Mrs S says I should intervene.

Aye, right!

ShyTorque
6th Jan 2018, 07:40
Half an hour ago our cat was having a scrap with the neighbours moggy, a whirling tumbleweed of fur and spit. I just let them get on with it but Mrs S says I should intervene.

Aye, right!

My back garden often seems to be used as a night club / boxing ring / concert hall for the local cats. Our dogs act as bouncers.

4mastacker
6th Jan 2018, 07:50
Previous neighbours used to leave their bedroom windows open during the night. Mrs neighbour asked me to move the bunny's hutch because her and her hubby were being kept awake by the noise bunny was making - apparently t'was the ball bearing thingy in his drink bottle which rattled every time he drank plus bunny would kick out occasionally and thump the side of the hutch.

Told them to close their window- that way, they couldn't hear bunny, and we couldn't hear them :E. Look of shock on Mrs neighbour's face, followed by embarrassed look and no more was said!!

Pontius Navigator
6th Jan 2018, 08:22
Dear Graham,

My computer has developed a whine. It doesn't happen all the time, only when it is very hot and the window is open. We have a tin roofed leanto outside the bedroom window.

It is crystal clear it is the computer and oddly only when we open Jetblast on pprune. Do you think it is the chips overheating or might it be the cat next door?

Gertrude the Wombat
6th Jan 2018, 09:46
When most air conditioners are functioning correctly, they make minimal obtrusive noise. If a panel is loose or a compressor part is defective, or a fan bearing is failing, the noise can be unbearable. Even twigs and old leaves caught in the unit can cause weird noises. Perhaps offer the services of a local HVAC repairman, or inspect it yourself and offer unsolicited advice. Who knows, you may get a free cocktail, make a new friend, or be on the receiving end of a profanity laced tirade.
Any AC makes some noise. I can't sleep in a room in which an AC, however quiet, is switching itself on and off all night. Thankfully it is increasingly rare to come across a hotel bedroom where the AC can't be turned off (it used to be the norm).

VP959
6th Jan 2018, 09:58
Any AC makes some noise. I can't sleep in a room in which an AC, however quiet, is switching itself on and off all night. Thankfully it is increasingly rare to come across a hotel bedroom where the AC can't be turned off (it used to be the norm).

We have an AC that is silent inside the house, and I mean totally silent. There's no noise from the fresh air feed ducts at all when it's running, just a gentle flow of cool air.

There are big silencers on the main duct plenums, plus the unit itself is very well internally sound proofed (some sort of very heavy foam rubber). There is some noise in the plant room when it's running, a barely audible hum, no louder than a refrigerator, and some low level flow noise outside the house from the intake and exhaust ducts, but both are a lot quieter outside than an average extractor fan outlet and aren't obtrusive to anyone.

Fareastdriver
6th Jan 2018, 10:30
My punkahwallah is very quiet.

Gertrude the Wombat
6th Jan 2018, 11:05
no louder than a refrigerator
Ah yes, that's the other thing about hotel bedrooms - a fridge that makes noises all night and that you can't turn off.

This problem seems to be reducing as fewer hotel rooms have fridges at all these days ... which is a good thing from the noise point of view but a bad thing from the PoV of keeping your champers cool when you're on your way to a party.

ShyTorque
6th Jan 2018, 13:24
My punkahwallah is very quiet.

Probably your age....
:E

larssnowpharter
6th Jan 2018, 19:33
Years ago, my neighbour and his current squeeze were, well, at it in all I can describe as a very vigorous manner in the flat adjacent. This was overseas and clearly building regulations allowed for little soundproofing this little was left to one's imagination. Early shift next day so banged on the wall a couple of times.

After a while, things took their natural course and got quieter.

The next morning I said to neighbour, 'Did you here me banging on the wall last night?'

'Don't worry' he replied. 'We were making a fair amount of noise ourselves.'

NutLoose
6th Jan 2018, 23:37
On the way to the mess one morning we thought we would drag a friend along for lunch, so pulled up his window and whipped his curtains open to see two terrified eyes looking over his shoulder.... At a loss for words we spluttered out are you coming to lunch? Without missing a stroke he replied he was a tad busy and carried on so we said hi to the young lady, shut his curtains and bimbled over for lunch laughing our socks off.

axefurabz
7th Jan 2018, 20:17
Krystal n chips averred inter alia that "Animals have souls..."

Can you substantiate that?

Gertrude the Wombat
7th Jan 2018, 20:22
Krystal n chips averred inter alia that "Animals have souls..."

Can you substantiate that?
Can you explain your question? By saying what you mean by "soul"?

Ascend Charlie
8th Jan 2018, 01:46
Can you explain your question? By saying what you mean by "soul"?

You.

You are.

You are........ soul

(Doug Mulray, 2MMM 1990s)

Blacksheep
8th Jan 2018, 13:59
They are sentient beings. A soul is inevitable.

ShyTorque
8th Jan 2018, 14:18
They are sentient beings. A soul is inevitable.

Only if you believe it to be inevitable.

Eclectic
8th Jan 2018, 14:42
Cats are massively successful parasites on humanity.
Over thousand of years they have evolved to manipulate our subconsciouses by using body language and sound.
Some humans are taken in by this more than others.
We live in a cat infested area and as we don't have a cat our garden is a free for all toilet, which has cost us hundreds of pounds in damage to prize plants. It is morally wrong that cat owners are not liable for the damage their pets cause. I can certainly understand why there are spates of cat killings in neighbourhoods. Taking the neighbour's cats for a long drive to a new home is a humane solution, the animals will rapidly find alternative humans to be parasitic on.
Also our cat epidemic has wiped out the local songbirds, which is a disgrace.

Krystal n chips
8th Jan 2018, 14:55
Can you explain your question? By saying what you mean by "soul"?

Fair question.

Animals have intellect and personalities ( which is more than some humans I know or have met do ) and I also believe in something called animism as well as in that when we die, only the body dies, the soul lives on.

There is another thread touching on aspects of this fascinating subject. I am a believer in what is termed the supernatural / ghosts etc based on personal experiences and couldn't give a proverbial about those who may wish to attempt ( and fail ) to ridicule my beliefs.

B Fraser
8th Jan 2018, 15:49
At my previous house, I lived next door to a couple of Polish lesbians. They were very much of the cute girly type and nothing like the Eastern Europe shot putter stereotype.

They were a nice friendly couple and we often said hello and on occasion observed them in bikinis snogging in the back garden. This invariably meant that mowing the lawn took longer than expected. :)




Why the hell did you move ?

SASless
8th Jan 2018, 22:32
TTN,

While living in Italy, my upstairs neighbor lady wore wooden clogs akin to wooden shoes and must have slept Days only as she clattered around the Tile floors all night.

I bought some very nice cloth bedroom slippers and left them in a gift wrapped box outside her door.

A few days later I found a gift wrapped box at my doorstep containing a cheap pair of fuzzy ear muffs!

ShotOne
8th Jan 2018, 22:36
Must be related to my neighbour who banged on my door making a hell of a noise at 3am!! Can you believe it? Fortunately I was still up playing my bagpipes

Gertrude the Wombat
8th Jan 2018, 23:29
Must be related to my neighbour who banged on my door making a hell of a noise at 3am!! Can you believe it? Fortunately I was still up playing my bagpipes
We had a party in our student house. So we invited the neighbours round, for as much free beer as they could drink, to make up for the fact that this one Saturday night in the year it was going to be a bit noisy.

The neighbours took up the invitation, came round, drank beer, then went home at around 2am.

And then they came back at 4am to complain about the noise.

Avtrician
9th Jan 2018, 08:12
Had a work mate who used to be disturbed by his back neighbours dogs at night. They worked at night, so werent home and refused to believe the dogs were noisy.

He eventually got a small sling shot and a bucket of small pebbles. When them over the back fence came home, they took the dogs in and went to bed. He would then fire a small rock at the back door. Of course the impact would disturb the dogs who would then bark at the "Intruders". Apparently this lasted about two weeks before the dogs were re homed... :)

ex_matelot
9th Jan 2018, 10:56
As a kid I used to have a CB radio, it also had AM capability. If the neighbours were getting a bit loud I could simply switch to AM and tell them to be bloody quiet through their own TV/Stereo!

treadigraph
9th Jan 2018, 11:12
When I lived at my mum's flat many years ago we had a very young (16) neighbour who often used to clump up and down the communal stairs with her mates at 2am or so - back from whatever night club, out again to get some fags, etc...

Mum being the leaseholder had several gentle goes to no avail; one morning I had had enough, pursued her up the stairs, collared her and her mate outside her front door and let rip with a tide of four letter invective and threats to call the police. She looked quite shaken...

As I turned to go back down the stairs, i noticed another neighbour who was about 85 peering around her slightly ajar door. The next morning I nipped up the stairs and apologised to the old dear for the language I'd used. "Oh, not at all" she replied, "I thought you were very expressive and I quite agreed". It was fairly quiet for a while afterwards.

Problem went away because at 16 she was not actually old enough to have signed a lease herself - not sure if that was legally, or under the terms of the leasehold.

NutLoose
9th Jan 2018, 11:13
As a kid I used to have a CB radio, it also had AM capability. If the neighbours were getting a bit loud I could simply switch to AM and tell them to be bloody quiet through their own TV/Stereo!

One of the guys I used to work with had one of those TV remotes that could be tuned to different sets and his fun was to turn the volume up on the TV's in the likes of Dixons or Currys window displays.

Uplinker
9th Jan 2018, 17:49
I have often thought about making a jammer to disuade people playing loud music etc. I never thought of Nutloose’s solution - nice one !


A colleague of mine had his TV stolen, but the thieves did not take the remote.

My mate (somehow) knew who had nicked it - a scroat living on the same road. For weeks afterwards, my mate would change channels and volume etc on his telly in the scroat’s house by firing the remote beam through the scroat’s window.

VP959
9th Jan 2018, 18:17
I have often thought about making a jammer to disuade people playing loud music etc. I never thought of Nutloose’s solution - nice one !


As a student I shared a house with four others, two of whom were a couple and the notional landlord (they sublet the other rooms). They were very keen on playing The Moody Blues, very loud, late at night. My solution was to make a phase angle mains power controller, minus any RFI suppression components and connect it to the electric fire in my room. When the noise got too loud I just turned that on to about half power, where the interference it generated on the mains supply made the noisy couple's stereo unusable. Worked a treat, and best of all they never knew it was me so we didn't end up having rows about their loud music.

Slow Biker
9th Jan 2018, 19:25
Being rather open, Changi had a problem with feral dogs. The answer was Ali bin Esa, he would turn up every morning, sign out the Greener 12 bore and a pocketful of carts, strap it to his bike and off he would go......

Fareastdriver
9th Jan 2018, 19:36
In the last days of Changi as an RAF station surplus domestic dogs were starting to pack and roam the airfield. There would be shooting parties organised to cull them.

I suggested they fix up a busload of local restaurateurs but that didn't seem to go down well.

pulse1
9th Jan 2018, 20:04
Until recently I had a neighbour whose son had a set of drums in the garden shed and he spent hours practicing. I'm fairly musical and, although it wasn't very loud, it was annoying if I was sitting in my garden. I was just about to get a friend to make me a sound system which would play back his noise but slightly out of phase. I hoped that this would spoil his fun somewhat and he couldn't really complain could he? However, I haven't heard them for some time so, either he has moved, or someone else has got at him.

Pontius Navigator
10th Jan 2018, 19:49
There was a guy a few years back who marketed a TV mute device. I tried it but it never worked. Never found out if it was a press and hold or keep pressing. It was one off press it would have been perfect.

EGLD
11th Jan 2018, 08:04
I think the is the first time I've agreed with KnC, Nutloose - you're an absolute turd

TWT
11th Jan 2018, 08:10
I have often thought about making a jammer to disuade people playing loud musicJust find their main circuit breaker and kill their power.

jolihokistix
11th Jan 2018, 09:17
Leave a brick on their front doorstep with a little note attached.


"Keep it down, or the next one goes through your window."

Uplinker
11th Jan 2018, 09:56
@ jolihokistix, pulse1, VP959

All great ideas! My Dad used a dimmer switch jammer on his neighbours years ago.

I like the thought of playing a neighbour’s own noise, slightly delayed, back to them.

@TWT, yes but that would mean breaking into their house !

On second thoughts, the brick idea would not work in this day and age - the police would be called and DNA evidence taken from all the neighbours......and a charge of threatening violence or GBH would be made.

I once called the police when the ‘difficult family’ two doors away were setting off public display sized fireworks in their garden at 2230 at night, (and nowhere near Bonfire night either). The cop dispatcher said “I’m not sending anybody out for that”. Oh, great, thanks very much, I feel much better about paying my contribution to the police through my council tax...........

TWT
11th Jan 2018, 10:21
@TWT, yes but that would mean breaking into their house !I don't advocate breaking and entering or going onto someone's property uninvited. Individual main CB's in blocks of flats have been located on easily accessible external walls in unlocked cabinets in my experience ( many years ago).

treadigraph
11th Jan 2018, 10:34
I've seen a video of brick being thrown at window, bouncing off and laying the perp out!

On a related but slightly different note: there must be laws governing the output of "music" from cars. One of those mobile boom boxes was wwaiting art the traffic lights by this building at about 7:30am this morning... you could feel it and hear the distortion/rattling from five floors up; our windows are not really sound-proofed. I really don't want to listen to their sh!t...

Gertrude the Wombat
11th Jan 2018, 10:37
I once called the police when the ‘difficult family’ two doors away were setting off public display sized fireworks in their garden at 2230 at night, (and nowhere near Bonfire night either). The cop dispatcher said “I’m not sending anybody out for that”. Oh, great, thanks very much, I feel much better about paying my contribution to the police through my council tax...........
You should have called enviromental health for that, not the police. But yes, the police could have been more helpful, eg actually telling you this.

broadreach
11th Jan 2018, 11:29
https://www.amazon.com/Sonic-Sentinel-M14-1-Propane-Cannon/dp/B00U0DFXFO


I'm waiting for the handheld version.

VP959
11th Jan 2018, 11:45
I don't advocate breaking and entering or going onto someone's property uninvited. Individual main CB's in blocks of flats have been located on easily accessible external walls in unlocked cabinets in my experience ( many years ago).


I'm not advocating this, on the basis that:

a) It's bloody dangerous if you don't know what you are doing.

b) It's almost certainly unlawful (if they could prove it was you that did it you "might" get prosecuted).

c) There is a very small risk that cutting off the power has some unintended and dangerous consequence.

Many, perhaps most, UK homes built in the last 30 years or so will probably have an outdoor meter box. Inside that box will be a main fuse (usually 100A) with a cover secured with a screw and a wire and lead seal. Wearing insulated gloves it is very quick and easy to open the meter box, remove the screw and seal on the main fuse and remove the fuse. For the sake of safety (to prevent anyone incompetent from trying to re-insert the fuse and getting a shock) I suggest taking the fuse away with you.

I'm not for a moment suggesting this is in any way a sensible thing to do, but one day you may feel a need to isolate the power from a house, and this is one way to do it, at your own (not insignificant) risk..............

Gertrude the Wombat
11th Jan 2018, 14:10
I'm not for a moment suggesting this is in any way a sensible thing to do, but one day you may feel a need to isolate the power from a house, and this is one way to do it, at your own (not insignificant) risk..............
Do check that the house doesn't contain any dialysis machines or anything like that first (yes I know such things might be expected to have batteries and UPSs and safe power fail modes, but there's no need to actively invite accidents).

VP959
11th Jan 2018, 14:57
Do check that the house doesn't contain any dialysis machines or anything like that first (yes I know such things might be expected to have batteries and UPSs and safe power fail modes, but there's no need to actively invite accidents).

Hence why I wrote:

c) There is a very small risk that cutting off the power has some unintended and dangerous consequence.

charliegolf
11th Jan 2018, 17:15
I once called the police when the ‘difficult family’ two doors away were setting off public display sized fireworks in their garden at 2230 at night, (and nowhere near Bonfire night either). The cop dispatcher said “I’m not sending anybody out for that”. Oh, great, thanks very much, I feel much better about paying my contribution to the police through my council tax...........

You: Ok, I will deal with them myself with my Grandad's old Webley.

Plod, 7 mins later: You said you had a gun!

You: You said you weren't coming. It's a draw. Now that you're here, can you have aword with the dick with the big bangers please? Ta.

CG

charliegolf
11th Jan 2018, 17:18
On second thoughts, the brick idea would not work in this day and age - the police would be called and DNA evidence taken from all the neighbours......and a charge of threatening violence or GBH would be made.


What if the note said, "Might this be yours?"

CG

Sallyann1234
11th Jan 2018, 17:20
You: Ok, I will deal with them myself with my Grandad's old Webley.

Plod, 7 mins later: You said you had a gun!

You: You said you weren't coming. It's a draw. Now that you're here, can you have aword with the dick with the big bangers please? Ta.

CG
That one has been tried before. It ends up with the Armed Response team turning up, and a conviction for wasting police time.

charliegolf
11th Jan 2018, 17:25
That one has been tried before. It ends up with the Armed Response team turning up, and a conviction for wasting police time.

Unless in USA, when the conviction is replaced with a funeral...

CG

Gertrude the Wombat
11th Jan 2018, 17:26
That one has been tried before. It ends up with the Armed Response team turning up, and a conviction for wasting police time.
That must have been in the UK then. In the US it would have ended up with dead bodies.

Argonautical
11th Jan 2018, 17:49
When my late Dad lived in Salisbury, Rhodesia, he lived on the top floor of a block of flats in the Avenues. At the back of the flats, there were houses, and in one of the back gardens, there was a tethered Alsatian which barked all day. This so annoyed him that he used to load his .22 rifle with a .22 blank and a .22 air rifle pellet and whack the dog. The blank made the report very quiet and the velocity low enough so the pellet wouldn't penetrate. To keep out of sight, he had to shoot from the kitchen, through the open door over the passageway's parapet. The only way he could see the mutt over the parapet, was to stand on a chair. After being walloped for a week, the dog refused to come out of its kennel!

broadreach
11th Jan 2018, 20:09
Much as I hate setting off firecrackers where there are dogs within earshot, a remedy I've heard used against uninterrupted barking is setting off one or two small ones. The following example was a bit of a joke on me.

When we bought our present property it came with two dogs, a weimaraner and a labrador. They were both crazy about chasing squirrels but, whereas the lab would just settle down and snooze if he didn't catch one, the weimaraner would usually chase the invader up a tree and bark for hours at it. No amount of shushing on our part would stop it. Our neighbour across the street grew tired of the noise and set two small firecrackers off, and it worked.

The squirrel chasing gradually faded away; they continued to visit but tended more to frequent the bird feeding platforms we'd put up rather than forage for fruit or nuts on the ground. The weimaraner was killed by a snake and the lab got old and eventually died too.

Chronus
11th Jan 2018, 20:39
Krystal n chips averred inter alia that "Animals have souls..."

Can you substantiate that?

I have known of some men who havn`t got one. Most have been cruel.

andytug
11th Jan 2018, 21:02
I've seen a video of brick being thrown at window, bouncing off and laying the perp out!

On a related but slightly different note: there must be laws governing the output of "music" from cars. One of those mobile boom boxes was wwaiting art the traffic lights by this building at about 7:30am this morning... you could feel it and hear the distortion/rattling from five floors up; our windows are not really sound-proofed. I really don't want to listen to their sh!t...

My view is that they should all have to pay the licensing fees that any public disco has to..... that should put a stop to it!!

Uplinker
12th Jan 2018, 09:24
On a related but slightly different note: there must be laws governing the output of "music" from cars. One of those mobile boom boxes was wwaiting art the traffic lights by this building at about 7:30am this morning... you could feel it and hear the distortion/rattling from five floors up; our windows are not really sound-proofed. I really don't want to listen.........


I am sure there are, but the police would probably not be interested.

Would the spray from a hose pipe reach the car from 5 floors up? Especially effective if the car windows were open !

Uplinker
12th Jan 2018, 09:30
You: Ok, I will deal with them myself with my Grandad's old Webley.

Plod, 7 mins later: You said you had a gun!

You: You said you weren't coming. It's a draw. Now that you're here, can you have aword with the dick with the big bangers please? Ta.

CG

A friend did exactly this when being bothered by some of those ‘charming folk’ who like living in white caravans on the side of the road - except the weapon in question was a baseball bat. Instant response from the cops !

treadigraph
12th Jan 2018, 09:34
Especially effective if the car windows were open !

Can't open our office windows! :{

Going back to the doggy barking nuisance earlier in the thread, my neighbour's dogs are better now but they do bark occasionally during the night.

During the summer I can't open my bedroom window as it's right over a busy main road, so when it's hot I run an electric fan to help keep it cooler - the gentle noise of the fan seems to cancel out the yapping of both dogs. One is mostly a border terrier crossbred with some kind of short arse, the other is a Westie I think - their barks are very different.

Uplinker
12th Jan 2018, 10:17
Trouble is that dog owners, (and parents !), are so used to their charges making a noise that they do nothing about it.

Get yourself one of those ultrasonic bark trainers. We did.

Everytime the dog barks, you press the button - and release it about a second after it stops barking.

Initially, the dog barks a bit more - in confusion - but after only a couple of days, it starts to learn that when it barks it gets a very intense high pitched noise in it’s head.

After maybe a couple of weeks, it pretty much stops. We trained ‘Gnasher’ next door like this, and he is very well behaved now. Just the occasional bark, requiring us to fire the ultrasonic trainer at him through our open lounge window to remind him :ok:

treadigraph
12th Jan 2018, 10:32
Does it work through walls?

My neighbour reckons they are barking at the foxes which is true, but they are also often barking simply because they want attention; they are left alone much of the day, never seem to get taken on family days out or even walked all that much so far as I can see.

Krystal n chips
12th Jan 2018, 10:52
One thing about JB is that topics can elicit just about every "precious little human soul " there is.

Fancy dogs barking ! bit like those "precious souls" who move to the cantreeside, mwah, and then discover aroma's plus the sounds of the countryside and animals suddenly shatter their rural idyll.

I am currently dog sitting, a Cockerpoo to be precise, for my lady friend who managed to crack her shoulder when she slipped on some ice.

"madam ", the dog that is, tends to bark sometimes when, falling firmly into the "Adorable Me ! " category wants some attention or wants to play. Thus far I have felt no compulsion to resort to some of the repugnant methods suggested to ensure her silence. Wonder why that might be ?

Of course, it does make you wonder what some of the human neighbours think of those posting their antagonism towards animals on here does it not ?

B Fraser
12th Jan 2018, 11:15
Far from it Mr Chips, I moved to the country and the smell of cow poo is perfume, the screech of owls is music and badgers digging up my lawn is reassurance that they are doing well.


Having a dysfunctional pet that is not found in nature is its' own punishment. Do not inflict it on anyone else.

NutLoose
12th Jan 2018, 13:02
I think the is the first time I've agreed with KnC, Nutloose - you're an absolute turd

With a scratch free car... or I had before that particular one was sold.. :ok:

Krystal n chips
12th Jan 2018, 13:30
Far from it Mr Chips, I moved to the country and the smell of cow poo is perfume, the screech of owls is music and badgers digging up my lawn is reassurance that they are doing well.


Having a dysfunctional pet that is not found in nature is its' own punishment. Do not inflict it on anyone else.

It sends quivers of emotion through my sensitive heart Mr Fraser, when I read such accounts of harmonious living and embracing the joys of our countryside ...the inner contentment this must bring to you can never be quantified really, it's almost mystical and therapeutic at the same time.

I too enjoy the sound of owls when I stop over on the railway...beautiful birds to hear, watch and admire. Alas, no badgers .

Of course, being a charitable soul, I doubt for one minute you were taking the proverbial here....perish the thought.....this would be such a travesty after all.

Unfortunately, there are some quaint arcane bye laws involved here, I have met many more dysfunctional human beings whom, as I say, I cannot name than I have dysfunctional pets.

B Fraser
12th Jan 2018, 15:47
There's nothing to compare with the sound of blackbirds. Well ok, F-15s, Typhoons and Herks popping over at low level are bloody marvellous, but you know what I mean. Having lived in towns and cities, I know what I prefer. With superfast broadband and online shopping deliveries in 24hrs, life's a breeze. The cars may be covered in mud during the winter but so what. Then there's the free range eggs, real honey from the hives, your own home made blackcurrant gin, night skies full of stars.....

Mr Optimistic
12th Jan 2018, 16:10
...and no f' ing neighbours lately moved out from town who don't know what a cess pool is, and put up external lights because they are frightened of the dark!

Gertrude the Wombat
12th Jan 2018, 17:15
Get yourself one of those ultrasonic bark trainers. We did.

Everytime the dog barks, you press the button - and release it about a second after it stops barking.
????? - why the need for human intervention? Why not just have it turn itself on when it hears the barking? - that way you don't even need to be at home or awake.

Effluent Man
12th Jan 2018, 22:58
With a scratch free car... or I had before that particular one was sold.. :ok:

Must have been brush painted with Dulux. Modern car paints are made to resist impact by stones at 70mph so I very much doubt that cat claws would cause any damage.

B Fraser
13th Jan 2018, 10:15
Modern cars are painted with a solution that contains fewer volatile compounds which means that it takes years for the paint to harden properly. Pet claws are quite capable of damaging paintwork on any car, new or old.

Uplinker
13th Jan 2018, 10:48
Does it work through walls?

My neighbour reckons they are barking at the foxes which is true, but they are also often barking simply because they want attention; they are left alone much of the day, never seem to get taken on family days out or even walked all that much so far as I can see.

No, ultrasonic sound is short range and easily absorbed. Call the RSPCA.

@ Gertrude; From your comment, I guess you can get bark activated devices now?, cool. (As long as they work properly; if they just respond to any loud noise above a certain threshold, the dog will not associate the ultrasonic sound with it's own barking and it will not learn to stop barking).

@ Krystal, in my experience, many dog owners cannot understand why their dog’s barking is annoying to others. Especially when they go to work and leave their dogs on their own in the house or garden to bark all day. The owners never hear their own dogs barking incessantly because they only do it when or because they are not there.

Krystal n chips
13th Jan 2018, 11:08
@ Krystal, I realise you are trolling and winding us up, but in my experience, many dog owners cannot understand why their dog’s barking is annoying to others. Especially when they go to work and leave their dogs on their own in the house or garden to bark all day. The owners never hear their own dogs barking incessantly because they only do it when or because they are not there.

Allow me to shatter this illusion.

First, I don't as you put it "troll"...here on JB there's no need as so many contributors are so full of their self pretentions and self exaltations that it comes as shock when not everybody agrees with them and takes a closer look at their viewpoints.

Secondly, I do take animal welfare very seriously, hence my open contempt for those who feel the need to resort to actions which can, and do, adversely affect animals.

In theory, human beings are supposedly the most developed species on the planet ....the problem is, we share this planet with other living creatures, and simply because the other species hasn't developed the internet or gone to the moon, doesn't mean they are any less capable or intelligent compared to humans.

VP959
13th Jan 2018, 11:20
................. in my experience, many dog owners cannot understand why their dog’s barking is annoying to others. Especially when they go to work and leave their dogs on their own in the house or garden to bark all day. The owners never hear their own dogs barking incessantly because they only do it when or because they are not there.

We had this problem at our last house, and it was something I never knew about until I retired and was home all day. The neighbours next door but one put their dogs outside when they went to work in the morning, and the dogs then barked pretty much continuously all day, but stopped when the neighbours returned home in the evening.

You get used to it after a while, plus we were far enough away for the noise not to be a major nuisance, but it was clear when talking to them about something else, when the subject came up about noise nuisance, that neither of them had the faintest idea that their dogs barked all day, every time they left them outside.

Gertrude the Wombat
13th Jan 2018, 15:14
@ Gertrude; From your comment, I guess you can get bark activated devices now?, cool.
Dunno. But it must be technically possible - there are even speech recognition systems these days! - so someone would make one if they thought it was going to be profitable.

Fareastdriver
13th Jan 2018, 17:24
Dunno. But it must be technically possible

Everything is possible.

How to Stop Dog Barking with the Dog Silencer Pro (http://www.eurobarkcontrol.co.uk/a/how-to-stop-dog-barking.htm)

NutLoose
13th Jan 2018, 21:04
On second thoughts, the brick idea would not work in this day and age

Bricks can come in handy, wrapped one up and attached the junk mail from a company that was flooding my mailbox with the stuff and added their return to sender address to the package and sent it back, i don't know if the excess postage charges to get it back gave them the hint, but i never received any more.

Gertrude the Wombat
13th Jan 2018, 22:03
Bricks can come in handy
Neighbour's dog got into my back garden once. I heaved a half brick at it, as one would, and watched in utter astonishment as the dog just stood there until the brick hit it.

I suppose I was foolishly expecting the dog to display cat levels of intelligence - heave a half brick at a cat and the cat'll be over the fence and back in its own garden before the brick has left your hand.

ZOOKER
14th Jan 2018, 00:36
Krystal,
I had the misfortune to work with someone who once 'displaced a cat', from one side of The Pennines to the other.

The individual concerned thought it was a fun thing to do.

mgahan
14th Jan 2018, 01:57
Neighbour's dog got into my back garden once. I heaved a half brick at it, as one would, and watched in utter astonishment as the dog just stood there until the brick hit it.

I suppose I was foolishly expecting the dog to display cat levels of intelligence - heave a half brick at a cat and the cat'll be over the fence and back in its own garden before the brick has left your hand.

Not all cats have that level of intelligence, certainly not the one in my MQ back yard in the early 1980's.

Brick left the hand and, as expected, cat moved but...

mid flight the cat executed a perfect intercept manoeuvre, one of which the next door neighbor (an intercept controller of note) would have been proud.

Made for some interesting afternoons that week in the mess where those in the know took pains to ask if I had heard about the CO's missing feline.

MJG
Stature of limitations has passed - sorry Doug.

visibility3miles
14th Jan 2018, 02:11
The quick and the dead.

Evolution in action.

Had a neighbor once warn us he'd spotted a coyote and that we should keep our little yapping dogs inside. Problem is we didn't have any dogs, yapping or otherwise. He warned/complained to the wrong neighbor.

The coyote did cause a serious reduction in bunnies and wild cats, with a resultant increase in the local bird population.

Uplinker
16th Jan 2018, 10:21
First, I don't as you put it "troll"...

No, fair enough, that was a bit harsh of me. I have edited.
Regards, Uplinker

SARF
17th Jan 2018, 02:30
Allow me to shatter this illusion.

First, I don't as you put it "troll"...here on JB there's no need as so many contributors are so full of their self pretentions and self exaltations that it comes as shock when not everybody agrees with them and takes a closer look at their viewpoints.

Secondly, I do take animal welfare very seriously, hence my open contempt for those who feel the need to resort to actions which can, and do, adversely affect animals.

In theory, human beings are supposedly the most developed species on the planet ....the problem is, we share this planet with other living creatures, and simply because the other species hasn't developed the internet or gone to the moon, doesn't mean they are any less capable or intelligent compared to humans.
Well it does really.....

Anyway , everyone gets all emotional about domestic pets. But who is going to stand up for the flies.. and wasps... and those poor slugs.

cargosales
16th Feb 2018, 14:33
Neighbour's dog got into my back garden once. I heaved a half brick at it, as one would, and watched in utter astonishment as the dog just stood there until the brick hit it.

I suppose I was foolishly expecting the dog to display cat levels of intelligence - heave a half brick at a cat and the cat'll be over the fence and back in its own garden before the brick has left your hand.

Err, yes, very foolish.. and not very nice either. Why not just speak to the dog and tell it to depart forthwith? Or take hold of it and return it to your neighbour?


Regarding fireworks etc, it's not advanced rocket science to get dogs used to things, it just takes a little time and patience and effort on the part of the owner (ahh hang on, I think I see the problem...)

Last Bonfire Night my dog didn't bat an eyelid and just got on with life.. Becaue he couldn't tell the difference between the 'explosions', flashes, pretty colours etc in the sky outside and what was on the telly.

It's not very difficult to dig out some cheesy old war films and play them, getting increasingly loud, until the dog regards those sort of noises as 'normal' and ceases to respond. His favourite right now is Kelly's Heroes and it winds up the missus no end but he often insists on watching it twice in a row :p

Gertrude the Wombat
16th Feb 2018, 15:59
Why not ... take hold of it and return it to your neighbour?
I wasn't going outside! - there was a dog out there!

(Remember I got bitten whilst small. To me any dog that doesn't have an obviously competent and responsible owner present is a threat which I make sure to avoid.)

GLIDER 90
28th Feb 2018, 17:02
With living in close proximity of each other these days, there seems to be an attitude with some people of I'm Alright Jack and sod the rest and this is how we do it our way. Wheather there your new neighbours or have been there for years there are some descent people out there and the others are either irrational or just get there kicks out of causing trouble eg Slamming Doors, Verbal Abuse, Talking loudly so the whole neighbour hood hears it. Some people like to be the king pin and try and take over. Answer hope to win the lottery one day and move many miles from no where and let them get on with it!

G-CPTN
28th Feb 2018, 18:25
hope to win the lottery one day and move many miles from no where and let them get on with it!

Mother-in-law's ambition was to win the lottery and then buy out the neighbours . . .

Octane
1st Mar 2018, 04:41
I once had a great neighbour, we got on well and became good friends. If on the odd occasion the music got too loud for him at 2 am (maybe later, oops), he'd pop over and throw the main circuit breaker in the fuse box next to the front door. I'd visit the next day, cap in hand to apologise and he'd say "it's ok mate, I was young once". Top man.. :-)

cattletruck
5th Mar 2018, 12:40
What has my neighbourhood become...

Arriving late from work and walking along my street, I stop for a chat with an elderly neighbour down the road who is watering her front garden.

Along comes Neighbour No. 2 who has taken us to court 4 times and lost, she crosses the road to the other side, then crosses back and continues on her way home. Along the way she stops short of her house and appears to be talking to neighbour No. 1, a 95 y/o who looks like he is going to swindled out of his home by all the shysters that know he is not leaving his 5 houses to his daughters.

My conversation with the elderly lady up the road had been very delightful lasting almost half an hour. I then make my way home.

As I pass the house of neighbour No. 1 - carefully - I find him standing suspiciously on the side of his driveway with a tomahawk axe in his hand and a ready look of expectation about him.

Co-incidently, almost the same time I walked past him, an Asian woman with an energetic child is coming the other way. The child, too young to know what an axe is, engages neighbour No. 1. Half my luck!

TWT
5th Mar 2018, 12:47
Why did neighbour No.2 take you to court 4 times ?

cattletruck
5th Mar 2018, 12:51
Methinks it's because they have a foreign buyer lined up for our house and want to force us to sell. Our suburb is booming in property value - until someone builds a few more 8 storey monstrosities.