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visibility3miles
22nd Dec 2017, 04:28
Had a sympathetic friend tell me about a great flying game friends of his did. They had foot long models of various aircraft and you took turns following what a deck of cards told you to do, such as, taxi to the runway, take off, fly to the right, etc.

Told me how really lifelike it was and how keen they were about flying and identifying various planes.

He couldn't understand why I was bored to tears at the concept.

Anybody else had a similar disconnect?

India Four Two
22nd Dec 2017, 06:29
When I tell people I'm a glider pilot, the response is often "What happens when the wind stops?"

gemma10
22nd Dec 2017, 07:17
My wife once asked me after her first flight with me, why we stayed in the same gear all the way.

goudie
22nd Dec 2017, 14:33
When I was gliding in the sixties I was airborne one day when Mrs g was offered flight in a Blanik. Off she went, sat in the front, the pilot asked her what she thought of it, '' a bit boring'', she replied. Next thing she knows it's going into a dive then climb and a wing over, followed by several other manouvers. It was only when she landed did she discover that the pilot was currently flying in the 'Red Arrows'!

pulse1
22nd Dec 2017, 15:51
My wife once asked me after her first flight with me, why we stayed in the same gear all the way.

What more encouragement do you need to upgrade to a variable pitch prop?

gemma10
22nd Dec 2017, 16:03
What more encouragement do you need to upgrade to a variable pitch prop?
What? On an AA5!!

ehwatezedoing
22nd Dec 2017, 17:14
A story from my dad, station manager in the 70's.
He had hard time one day to convince an old lady to check in her beloved dog in a cage for a trip on a DC-8.

"Are you out of your mind! In the hold! With all that coal!"

:}

https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_800_800/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAPEAAAAJDRlNWE1NDNiLWFiYmMtNDRhNi05ZjI5LWE2MGQy M2E2OTI0Yg.jpg

Tankertrashnav
22nd Dec 2017, 17:21
The one that gets me that people who are ok about flying in a big heavy 747, for example, are often scared about getting into a little Cessna or similar

Stands to reason that the big heavy one is far more likely to fall out of the sky than the little light one ;)

galaxy flyer
22nd Dec 2017, 18:09
What amazes people is how many pilots, like me for one, who are frightened of heights. They don’t see the difference from standing on the edge of a cliff and bring at F410 for hours.

GF

5000 metres
22nd Dec 2017, 18:27
What amazes people is how many pilots, like me for one, who are frightened of heights. They don’t see the difference from standing on the edge of a cliff and bring at F410 for hours.

GF

“Acrophobia” of course technically (etymologically) being a fear of edges, not altitude.

Gertrude the Wombat
22nd Dec 2017, 19:03
What amazes people is how many pilots, like me for one, who are frightened of heights.
I am frightened of heights - I really do not like being only six feet away from a 100' drop. But I'm quite happy to fly along two miles up with only an eighth of an inch of aluminium beneath me.

ian16th
22nd Dec 2017, 20:02
The one that gets me that people who are ok about flying in a big heavy 747, for example, are often scared about getting into a little Cessna or similar

Stands to reason that the big heavy one is far more likely to fall out of the sky than the little light one ;)
TTN,

I've only been in Cessna's with amateur pilots, and in 747's with professional pilots. I can tell the difference.

Chronus
22nd Dec 2017, 20:04
Yes Gertrude, that`s the best attribute for a pilot, a fear of a drop from low heights. Safety is at altitude.

Dan Dare
22nd Dec 2017, 22:27
Heights never killed anyone.
Speed doesn’t kill ( whatever the awareness course says).
Rate of change of energy is what we should all be wary of.
Why does no one seem to get that?

ShotOne
22nd Dec 2017, 22:33
It's true that non-pilots don't get it. But that's not their fault and it's down to us to help, where there's genuine interest, give them a window into our world. Many pilots are guilty of glib non-answers to aviation questions. How many times have I heard "yeah we just sit there". "Just flies itself". We are fantastically privileged to see and do some of the things we do as pilots but often do a poor job of representing that.

B2N2
22nd Dec 2017, 23:19
TTN,

I've only been in Cessna's with amateur pilots, and in 747's with professional pilots. I can tell the difference.

Hehehehehe....
Priceless

ShyTorque
23rd Dec 2017, 01:24
I am frightened of heights - I really do not like being only six feet away from a 100' drop. But I'm quite happy to fly along two miles up with only an eighth of an inch of aluminium beneath me.

Stop it, you're frightening me...... :p

FullOppositeRudder
23rd Dec 2017, 01:33
Back in my tender youth I started gliding instruction - mostly because I couldn't afford power costs - including travel of 80miles each way to the nearest aerodrome offering such. When I announced that I was taking up gliding to my girlfriend at the time she said "Well I suppose that if you want kill yourself - that's your business!". It was a turning point of sorts. She was thus removed from the list under consideration. I'm glad she said it now. Fifty years of priceless moments in the air and on the ground became mine to experience, and I now see that a future with her would have been, well ... unworkable in every respect. Another reason to be grateful to aviation and what it has to offer.

llondel
23rd Dec 2017, 02:00
..........smoke and mirrors, it's all smoke and mirrors.

Mirrors I can understand, but you want to be careful with the smoke, especially if it's in the wrong place.

ExSp33db1rd
23rd Dec 2017, 02:57
We are fantastically privileged to see and do some of the things we do as pilots but often do a poor job of representing that.

Remember a colleague explaining to someone why we wore the gold braided uniform and accessories that we did .. well, he said, I don't really need to, I could actually do the job naked, but if I'm seen flying in slacks and a golfing jacket the punter will say - he looks like me on my day off, and I can't fly, so can he ? Bullshit Baffles Brains.

The one that gets me that people who are ok about flying in a big heavy 747, for example, are often scared about getting into a little Cessna or similar

Mrs. ExS likes a lot of Boeing around her, and on one of the few times she flew in my microlight ( LSA in USAspeak) I forgot to remove the pitot tube cover (!!! I know, I know ) and realised this shortly after releasing the brakes and applying take-off power of course. I chose to continue the flight with reference to the GPS groundspeed. She doesn't know to this day ! ( don't tell her )

I endear myself to Boeing cabin crew as I board, by asking .. " Is this a Boeing or a Scarebus?" Airbus crew are not amused.

cattletruck
23rd Dec 2017, 03:54
Because of some technical glitch at some major airport we were forced to embark our airliner via the hangar. A lady in the queue broke out in hysterical laughter at the sight of a little twin piper, she couldn't believe how cute if it was and wondered if it actually flew.

TangoAlphad
23rd Dec 2017, 06:20
From turboprop airliner flying days..

'So is that like a starter plane?'
'Oh so do you want to go commercial pilot kinda flying later on?'

:suspect:

Ascend Charlie
23rd Dec 2017, 07:36
After landing a chopper full of pax from a ride around Sydney:
"...but are you a REAL pilot?"

Hackles rise, but calmly answers:
"Oh no - see that big H we just landed on? That is for people who Hope to be a pilot. See that sign further down the road with a big P on it? That is where Pilots have to land."

ShyTorque
23rd Dec 2017, 08:12
A certain Chief constable, on the press day at his new base, as he awaited his new air support helicopter, confidently and proudly advised the awaiting media throng that any moment it would "spiral down, through the fog" that surrounded them.

It didn't, it was sitting in a field some miles away, awaiting the fog to clear.

ShyTorque
23rd Dec 2017, 08:30
I was hosting at an open day at a military airfield, almost forty years ago.

A young lad of about four years old, there with his mother, was asking me all sorts of questions about the aircraft carrying out the flying display. The main theme had been why different aircraft had different numbers of wheels. A Harrier taxied past, about to get airborne. The little lad was intrigued by the unusual wheel layout, especially the wingtip outrigger wheels. The commentator explained that this aircraft was from the Harrier OCU. The boy's mother asked what OCU stood for. I told her it was the Operational Conversion Unit, where new pilots learned how to fly the aircraft.

"Oh, I see now" said the boy. "So when the new pilots learn how to balance, they take the stabilisers off!"

Just like his bike!

ORAC
23rd Dec 2017, 09:55
I am frightened of heights - I really do not like being only six feet away from a 100' drop. But I'm quite happy to fly along two miles up with only an eighth of an inch of aluminium beneath me.

Psychology is a strange thing. Don’t like edges of buildings, but when in the RAF I did freefall parachuting and, with a chute on, was happy to clamber out onto the outside of a Cessna at thousands of feet and, with a belt strop on, to sit in the door of a Wessex or Sea King whilst it was doing High banks in turns and doing winching.

Only time I felt concerned was doing wet winching when they didn’t have a dry life jacket and just dropped in an immersion suit to float - i.e. no SARBE - and then buggered off on a real call out and left me for the RNLI to pick up.....

blind pew
23rd Dec 2017, 10:20
Forty years ago I was instructing ab initios on condors off a single tarmac runway at Blackbushe. Most difficult bit of single engine stuff I had done to date ..tailwheels, short fuselage and healthy Engine.
I had a trail lesson with a glider pilot whose last powered flight had ended in a stalag luft. I remarked how good he was considering he had last flew a proper aircraft thirty five years ago.
On finals we had a smell of electrical burning, strange noises eminating from the radio and finally wisps of smoke. I chopped everything, took control and landed.
Discovered the PTT wiring had shorted in the stick.
Apologised to the guy and said it wouldn’t take him long to get back into powered flying.
I still cringe at what a [email protected] I was (is).
Twenty years on I’m instructing on star ships, mountain flying, winching and aerobatics and realise how much more fun and difficult gliding is than heavy jets.

Yamagata ken
23rd Dec 2017, 10:25
Nice one ShyTorque :ok:

Fareastdriver
23rd Dec 2017, 10:43
In Borneo in the fifties I and an Admin Pilot Officer on his first twelve months unaccompanied tour were watching a Beveley take off.

"How do they transfer the power from the wheels to the propellors?"

Loose rivets
23rd Dec 2017, 11:26
Stands to reason that the big heavy one is far more likely to fall out of the sky than the little light one

Hasn't the little'un got a higher wing loading per sq foot?

Tankertrashnav
23rd Dec 2017, 12:34
Aww now you're getting all technical on me LR :confused:

dook
23rd Dec 2017, 15:49
I chose to continue the flight with reference to the GPS groundspeed

And there was I, after twenty five years of professional flying, thinking that IAS
was what mattered !

Zeus
23rd Dec 2017, 18:11
CEO sitting on the jump seat asked one of our Airbus crews "What's that lever thingy for?".
"That's the gear lever" responded the FO.
Puzzled look from CEO..."I thought it was all automatic"!

ExSp33db1rd
23rd Dec 2017, 22:42
Night, over the oggin, bored, lady invited to the flight deck asked the Captain how he knew where to steer ? Well, Madam, he replied, look out of the left window, can you see the top of a little red light on the end of the wing ? Yes, she said. Now look out of that other window, can you see a little green light ? Yes, she said. Well, I just keep flying between them. Oh! she said, how clever, I never realised that.

goudie
23rd Dec 2017, 23:11
Was it the same lady who asked the captain how long it took him to learn to fly, ''All day ma'am'', he replied. ''Really'' said she in admiration!

meadowrun
23rd Dec 2017, 23:31
Lea gets it.
Lea lately.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQyL5L5OTFA

cavortingcheetah
23rd Dec 2017, 23:35
It's always interesting how people at cocktail parties will stop talking to you when you tell them that you fly, but only small little things with propellers. People don't get that flying little air liners with propellers and no auto pilots was considerable harder than computing an FMS course to German Corner, for example.
I suppose that one could enliven things by telling them about flying low level in war zones, gun running, the white slave trade and hauling cocaine up from Columbia but I only ever do that if I find the other person either interesting or a female worthy of seduction. These days there seem to be few interesting people around and either my wife or my mistress is always with me, making the second reason rather redundant.

bugg smasher
24th Dec 2017, 21:34
It's always interesting how people at cocktail parties will stop talking to you when you tell them that you fly, but only small little things with propellers. People don't get that flying little air liners with propellers and no auto pilots was considerable harder than computing an FMS course to German Corner, for example.
I suppose that one could enliven things by telling them about flying low level in war zones, gun running, the white slave trade and hauling cocaine up from Columbia but I only ever do that if I find the other person either interesting or a female worthy of seduction. These days there seem to be few interesting people around and either my wife or my mistress is always with me, making the second reason rather redundant.

Conversational point of reference lacking I suppose, no shared experience. The things and places I flew when I was a rube, well, I was just young and stupid, somehow got away with it.

These days, I tell them, I'm no longer young.

blind pew
24th Dec 2017, 21:44
Last week took the train up to Belfast using my pensioners' pass which involved changing trains at Drogheda. On the way back left a paragliding magazine with the ticket collector for his colleague that I had struck up a conversation with on the way up.
He asked me if I did this- I pulled my shoulders back, puffed out my chest and proudly said yes. He looked up at me and replied " your are fecking mad" and threw the mag onto a shelf.

ExSp33db1rd
24th Dec 2017, 22:57
And there was I, after twenty five years of professional flying, thinking that IAS was what mattered !

IAS +/- W/V = G/s

G/s +/- W/V = IAS

QED.

(But then you knew that !)

The real problem, landing at an unattended airfield i.e. no ATC or ATIS, was knowing the W/V, prior knowledge of the METAR / TAF ( you do check the Met. don't you ? ) and the visible windsock, which looked like it had had a good night out, i.e. Angle of Dangle, plus adding a bit to VRef for mum and the kids, worked, and landing an LSA on 3,500 ft of concrete was hardly a challenge.

ShyTorque
25th Dec 2017, 00:29
IAS +/- W/V = G/s

G/s +/- W/V = IAS

QED.

(But then you knew that !)

The real problem, landing at an unattended airfield i.e. no ATC or ATIS, was knowing the W/V, prior knowledge of the METAR / TAF ( you do check the Met. don't you ? ) and the visible windsock, which looked like it had had a good night out, i.e. Angle of Dangle, plus adding a bit to VRef for mum and the kids, worked, and landing an LSA on 3,500 ft of concrete was hardly a challenge.

AIRFIELD? METAR? Windsock? Sheer luxury.... ;)

Mechta
25th Dec 2017, 02:07
It's always interesting how people at cocktail parties will stop talking to you when you tell them that you fly, but only small little things with propellers. People don't get that flying little air liners with propellers and no auto pilots was considerable harder than computing an FMS course to German Corner, for example.
I suppose that one could enliven things by telling them about flying low level in war zones, gun running, the white slave trade and hauling cocaine up from Columbia but I only ever do that if I find the other person either interesting or a female worthy of seduction. These days there seem to be few interesting people around and either my wife or my mistress is always with me, making the second reason rather redundant.

Q. How can a woman tell when she is halfway through a first date with a pilot?

A. When he says "That's enough about me, let's talk about flying".


Q. What do pilots use for contraception?

A. Their personalities.


I have found that recounting my flying experiences is very useful for helping Jehovah's Witnesses to remember they have somewhere else they need to be though.

cavortingcheetah
25th Dec 2017, 08:26
Yes indeed, it is due to my innate sense of humility that I wear a Rolex Submariner as opposed to a Breitling Navigator. Personal adornments have little bearing on the size of one's accoutrements although some might argue that a Breitling rises higher while a Rolex probes deeper.

Ascend Charlie
25th Dec 2017, 20:25
I bought a big watch just to prove them wrong.

ExSp33db1rd
26th Dec 2017, 06:49
and that cartoon by the F/Eng. who used to contribute to the BOAC Flt Ops Magazine - showing the usual overweight Captain and F/Eng, lounging by the swimming pool, mandatory beer to hand, watching bubbles rising from the bottom - and the caption .... Very sad, it's our Second Officer, he jumped in and his Breitling Navigator, World Time Day Date Chronometer automatic watch dragged him to the bottom.