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View Full Version : Catching up with an old EX


Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 10:38
Back in the day (when I was 19) & blasting (?) around the islands and inland towns in (or rather on!) an A582 Drifter similar to this....

https://www.flickr.com/photos/robertfrola/21901976934

I was romanticallly attached to a 29 year old Danish Woman...all was very well in the world indeed!.....now there are a lot of people in relationships with a 10 year or more difference....but as my friend pointed out the other day the diff. between 19 & 29 is considerably different to say 33 & 43...yes I would agree....benefit of hindsight and all that...but as an Aussie 19 yr old with a blonde Scando bombshell Nympho girlfriend.....well, who was I going to listen to?

Long story short, out of the blue a few yrs ago she contacts me...and I hang up on her..through shock! I am happily married now...but Mrs Fliegs insists I ring her back...we chatted for a bit..she's evidentally just as mad as bat shit now as she was then!...and for a the last 2-3 yrs send each other "Merry Christmas to you and your children" txts...nice..spirit of the season kind of stuff and that's it...now she's moved about 2 hours away...and let me know....and being friendly I said "That's lovely..i'll look you up if i'm in that neck of the woods"....on the 10th October I will be in that location, and have arranged to meet for a lunch date catch up..

Mrs Fliegs said "Of course you should look her up! She was a big part of your life once!".... Once I told Mrs Fliegs that that was exactly what I was doing she didn't seem so enthusiastic.....ut then I would never hide anything from her....

So curiosity is rather killing me....sure I'm curious since the last time I saw you....what became of you? What have you done? etc etc....and at the same time I really do not know if I'm doing the right thing....she kinda scares me now....we'll try to fit in 20+ yrs of catch up in an hour....? It was not the most amicable of break ups.....but a lot of water has passed under the bridge now...

Bring back Agony Aunt?

Hempy
26th Sep 2016, 10:40
My Mrs would have my guts for garters for even thinking about it!

Peter-RB
26th Sep 2016, 12:02
Whoa there Flieg,

You are one daring Dude...this could go well...but on the other hand Skando's as you put are quite liberal with many things..how would No1 Wifey think then.. Me thinks you need many reasons to commit Hari Kari with the old Mutton Dagger.. :ooh::ooh:

Ancient Mariner
26th Sep 2016, 12:20
At 18, had a 28 year old GF in Durban. Happy days.
At nearly 63 now I have no plans whatsoever to seek her out. None.
Per

ImageGear
26th Sep 2016, 12:25
" We think very carefully about sending our people into harms way" but if they really want to go there we can't stop them.

Is she stroking your ego ?, hey, that feels good, why not enjoy a little more, ooops. :E



Imagegear

oldchina
26th Sep 2016, 12:41
A VERY bad idea.

If she still looks great you might be lured into something that would cause your Mrs to lose her sense of humour.

If she looks like a 100 year old prune all your memories will be blown away.

Anyway tales like this are usually about money.

cattletruck
26th Sep 2016, 12:46
Not to get your hopes up, but with the miracle of Dow Corning I bet her t!ts are exactly where you left them.

Personally, I would stay very far away as there are probably some bills she would like you to pay - just like the old days.

Wingswinger
26th Sep 2016, 12:55
If I were contemplating something like this the last thing I'd do is put it anywhere on the internet.

VP959
26th Sep 2016, 12:58
Another voice for caution. Around 12 years ago, I was contacted (via the now defunct Friends Reunited website) by an ex from 1975 (she was just 17 back then).

We exchanged a fair few emails and it's fair to say there were more than a few rather suggestive comments made, on both sides. We arranged to meet for lunch, and, despite both of us being married and nearly 30 years older it would have been very, very easy for us to have embarked on an affair. The urge, for both of us, to do so was very strong indeed. If we had, I doubt the outcome would have been good, for either of us, and I was the one who, reluctantly, saw sense and stopped things going any further.

I know I made the right decision to walk away, but also know that I made the wrong decision to meet her for lunch. Had I not been driving, and so had a a few drinks with lunch, then things would almost certainly have gone differently.

I don't know what it is with meeting a former lover again, but there is something that definitely removes all inhibitions. It is not at all like meeting an old friend.

Pace
26th Sep 2016, 13:05
Revealing is you described her then as a 29 year old bombshell rather than that you were emotionally and mentally connected to her.
She was 10 years older then so will still be 10 years older now and maybe the blonde bombshell bit will have gone.
Take away the great sex and desire part and what are you left with ?

I met an old girlfriend who I hadn't seen for 20 years and who at the time had torn me apart when we split and caused me months of heartache
When I saw her again I was shocked that I had lost even 5 minutes sleep over her

You will be living with the picture of her before which may shock you as to how she is now
But then who am I to talk as I appear to do everything wrong including dating much younger women with a much bigger age gap than 10 years but I am not married

onetrack
26th Sep 2016, 13:12
Don't do it. Just don't do it. Old memories and old relationships are best left in your memories, particularly when it comes to affairs of the heart. What is to be gained from meeting her again? Nothing, I'd say.

Seldomfitforpurpose
26th Sep 2016, 13:17
Why would anyone consider doing this to their wife, just don't get this one at all........

FullOppositeRudder
26th Sep 2016, 13:19
No !

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 13:25
If I were contemplating something like this the last thing I'd do is put it anywhere on the internet.

Why? Who would find it anyway? I've already told Mrs Fliegs what I'm doing!!

OK, though the consensus is this is a bad idea....is it a moth to a flame thing thing then? My girlfriends caution me similar....but curiosity killed the cat?....

I could never live with cheating on my wife...and I would not do it....end of..

But this is lunch with an old lover....nothing more right??

BehindBlueEyes
26th Sep 2016, 13:33
It's possibly a bit immoral but check and see if she's on Facebook - you'd be surprised how many people don't bother with their privacy settings!

Seeing her online may well remind you of the reasons you split up and give you some background information as to why she wants to meet up again.

A bit of a dangerous thing to resurrect the past sadly.

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 13:33
Why would anyone consider doing this to their wife, just don't get this one at all........

Because it was with my wifes suggestion / blessing...we're soulmates..and she knows she's secure enough not to fear this...

That said...all advice is ...don't do it! :eek:

Pace
26th Sep 2016, 13:36
My guess and I may be wrong is that it will reinforce what you already have and put this ghost from the past to bed ( I don't mean literally )) That would cause problems

I think like with me you will think why the hell did i go there and have so much grief and it will shatter those pictures from the past once and for all but who knows
Why not invite the wife along to say hello }}

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 13:39
It's possibly a bit immoral but check and see if she's on Facebook

Nup...shes smart enough not to be on facebook....and that amongst other things is why she is dangerous.....I have not checkecd to see if she is on facebook....I am sure she is not!

Geordie_Expat
26th Sep 2016, 13:40
If it is all innocent and above-board, take your wife with you.:D


(Post crossed with that of Pace)

oldchina
26th Sep 2016, 13:41
Her eyesight is going.

She thought you wrote: "i'll knock you up if i'm in that neck of the woods"....

plus.... "But this is lunch with an old lover....nothing more right??" Depends what she puts in your drinks.

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 13:51
Why not invite the wife along to say helloc ha ha no.....

'The Wife' has made it very clear.....NO WAY!!.DO NOT WANT TO MEET HER!..but then again 'The Wife' has insisted on this contact....no doubt safe in her knowledge that she is "the superior" partner.....she's right (of course!) she always is....but she's safe enough to say "Go for it!...Do Lunch with her (The other woman) she knows well I would not ever betray her...

Clare Prop
26th Sep 2016, 14:06
What do you want to come of it? What do you think she wants to come of it? How would you feel if your wife had written what you just wrote?

My advice, unfortunately speaking from experience of an ex (a text book narcissist) reappearing in my circle of friends and wanting to be "mates" (read have another go at being a manipulative piece of $&%*) is to leave well alone. There is a reason why you broke up and married someone else. There are some people who belong in the past and must stay there...they can make some really bad emotions resurface. Count your blessings and break off all contact.

Seldomfitforpurpose
26th Sep 2016, 14:09
Why would anyone consider doing this to their wife, just don't get this one at all........

Because it was with my wifes suggestion / blessing...we're soulmates..and she knows she's secure enough not to fear this...



These next few words are from one of your previous posts

'Mrs Fliegs said "Of course you should look her up! She was a big part of your life once!".... Once I told Mrs Fliegs that that was exactly what I was doing she didn't seem so enthusiastic.....ut then I would never hide anything from her....'


Those few words alone should be more than enough to ring your own internal alarm bells........

Pace
26th Sep 2016, 14:14
'The Wife' has made it very clear.....NO WAY!!.DO NOT WANT TO MEET HER!..but then again 'The Wife' has insisted on this contact....no doubt safe in her knowledge that she is "the superior" partner.....she's right (of course!) she always is....but she's safe enough to say "Go for it!...Do Lunch with her (The other woman) she knows well I would not ever betray her...

Does she know very well that you would not betray her ? Either you are a Dog on a lead relationship controlled totally by your wife (some men are) or more likely as with most women what they say is not what they mean ))

Better to be single then you can do what you want, when you want and with who you want

Clare Prop
26th Sep 2016, 14:30
Maybe your wife is using a bit of reverse psychology...if she were to "forbid" a meeting then it could be all the more tempting.

I'd never "forbid" my husband to do anything but I would feel very uneasy about something like this, whilst trying not to seem unreasonable...it's a tricky situation that she shouldn't be put into.

Sounds to me like it's already gone further than it should. Ask yourself is this woman worth risking your marriage for because as someone else has already said, even with the best of intentions...or no intentions at all...one thing could lead to another very quickly.

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 14:33
Oh Clare....Oh no.....what would you know? My wifes blessing is to see her again!!

I know from your previous posts CLARE you have a massive chip on you're shoulder you hate anyone that is not of your background...sorry, i'm happy to be frinds with you.......i really am...but you needl let go and allow people into your (online) life...not every voter repppelled (?) didn't necessarily disagee your...UNI traininhg went about it thr wrong WAY VIA an instance

Fliegenmong
26th Sep 2016, 14:45
OK..as dangerous as I know this is I don't care,,,,,lol....I know I am secure...so lets see if I;m right..............

Pace
26th Sep 2016, 14:51
Fliegenmong

Have you heard the saying what goes on the road stays on the road. Two people are still individuals and you are in command of what you do or don't do with this woman whether you meet her or not its still your choice. As stated my guess is you will run a mile if you did meet her.

What bothers me is your need to get approval and your need to tell every breath you take to your other half as if you cannot be your own boss
Sounds like a dependency where you cannot operate without approval in a controlled relationship

Maybe that explains her confidence or she isn't bothered about you as much as you are about her?

Charlie Foxtrot India
26th Sep 2016, 15:05
Thread closed due to personal attacks