View Full Version : I've cut my hair for most of my adult life, but . . .

Loose rivets
10th Sep 2016, 16:22
Indeed, one time in the Amsterdam Hilton, a couple of our girls were convinced I'd paid the fortune the in-house hairdresser charged.

Having hair much on the style of Melvyn Bragg - I flatter myself so I'll say at least the mass of. I thought I'd better get meself another trimmer to replace the one I left in Texas. I got a Phillips that cuts 'twice as fast'.

My first reaction was 'No it :mad:ing doesn't'. But I pressed on. All in all it was looking much more tidy but I'd been a bit too keen on top, just near the front. I thought I'd take off a bit more all around the dip.

I did, then the dip was too long. Then the rest was too long. Then the dip was more of a dip. I was now committed to not going out for two weeks. For some reason I set about the rest with the adjuster wheel screwed down to almost nil.

One has not got a nice shaped head. (It's bulbous by necessity, to house my massive brain) And one has ears that slow me down on my bike. Buggah, now they show. Buggah, it's the Rivetess' birthday party this weekend. Buggah.

I've decided to go in disguise. After all, I've lost 30 lbs and I reasoned all I'd need was some glue for the ears and a false moustache. Don't have to go out for that, I've got a mass of hair I can glue under my nose.

I'm not sure this is going to work. I'm not sure it's even funny, especially as there's a couple of girls there that I really fancy. Oh well. Unlikely to pull, anyway.

Anyone else cut their hair? I started when it went up to 5/=.

10th Sep 2016, 16:30
The first Mrs FoxOs trained as a hairdresser and cut mine until we parted company. At the age of 55 and living in the country, rarely visiting a town in shop hours, I didn't fancy the barbers so I bought myself a Wahl cutter, stuck the No 2 guide on it, and just go all over everywhere (on my head) with it.

10th Sep 2016, 16:31
Yep, got one of them Babyliss circular trimmers about 3 years ago and haven't needed to visit a barber's since. Does the job very well, caters for unevenness of the 'ead and has paid for itself many times over. Great piece of kit.

10th Sep 2016, 16:34
Having hair much on the style of Melvyn Bragg

I hate you! And Melvyn Bragg. And Tom Conti, plus some others whose names I cant think of who all seem to have nicked my share of hair, and have far more than is decent for gentlemen of our generation.

So I'm delighted you have buggered up your haircut - serves you right!


Having got that off my chest I must admit that now barbers have gone all unisex, young female hairdressers seem to be the norm, and I very much enjoy having my hair cut (what's left of it) and beard trimmed by an attractive young lady, and all for a tenner!

Loose rivets
10th Sep 2016, 16:36
You owe me a keyboard - and screen. :p

10th Sep 2016, 16:54
When I was working, I used to have my hair cut by a lady barber, who washed it before cutting it.

Leaning backwards over a handbasin having shampoo massaged into the scalp (and the attendant blow-dry) was a sensuous experience.

Pontius Navigator
10th Sep 2016, 17:48
TTN, I thought it was just a wide parting.

10th Sep 2016, 18:24
My beloved Mrs Bg cuts mine....gets it right most times, but the difference between a good cut and a bad one is only 3 days, so who cares. ;)

Last time I went to a barber and actually paid money was probably 25 years ago.

...and my wide parting is up there with the best!

Ancient Mariner
10th Sep 2016, 18:33
Haven't cut my hair for close to three years.
Wife mightyly pissed off. Kids in the kindergartens where I do my annual Nisse (Santa Claus) impersonation mightily impressed. Started to grow my Nissen beard three weeks ago. Should be OK by end of December

Pontius Navigator
10th Sep 2016, 18:43
Like bgbazz.
Seriously the hours we worked on kipper fleet and Shacks made a trip to the station barber difficult. Sort of got out the habit, I think the last was at Waddo in 90s but wouldn't swear to it.

Last I remember was in ASI with a South African. She included an ear massage and blow out.

10th Sep 2016, 19:10
C'mon guys, Selfie haircuts? Hair cutters set to minimum by accident? Not going to the barbers for years? Not wanting to go out?

We've all worked out that you've all gone bald but daren't admit it! ;)

I would never trust my clumsy missus to cut my hair, btw. The difference between a good and a bad haircut could involve the loss of one or both ears!

10th Sep 2016, 19:15

I would never trust my clumsy missus to cut my hair, btw. The difference between a good and a bad haircut could involve the loss of one or both ears!

Really? I'd assumed you always had done.

10th Sep 2016, 19:18
Really? I'd assumed you always had done.

Pardon? Did you say something, CG? :confused:

10th Sep 2016, 19:21
That'd be both ears then!


(Bags o' hair for a hunk who is 60 in 3 weeks. Grey as a feckin' badger tho!)

Nervous SLF
10th Sep 2016, 20:12
I went to a barber a few weeks ago and he cut mine first even though a couple of chaps were
there before me. When I asked why he politely explained that mine would only take about five
minutes max whereas the others would take a lot longer and he thought I wouldn't want to wait.
The other two customers just grinned.

10th Sep 2016, 20:35
I still have a haircut that would meet the approval of the SWO.
I attend a barber, not a hairdresser, while there I have a haircut and a shave.
At today's exchange rate, it costs me £5.25.

The best value haircuts I ever had was in Boys service at Yatesbury. We were docked 1/- a month from our 2/6 a day, for that we had as many haircuts as you were told to get!

Pontius Navigator
10th Sep 2016, 20:42
I would never trust my clumsy missus to cut my hair, btw.
A first yesterday, Mrs PN let me cut her hair.

10th Sep 2016, 22:36
This reminds me of an old joke (showing my age though):

A young chap goes into the barber's shop and asks for an "Elvis" haircut.

"Elvis who?" asked the old barber.

"Elvis...? Elvis Presley of course!"

The barber takes the whole lot off, right down to the scalp.

"You fool, Elvis Presley doesn't have a haircut like this!" said the young man.

"He would if he came in here!" came the reply.

Loose rivets
10th Sep 2016, 22:49
Mopping my keyboard again. :p

My hair's salt and pepper. (Strangely, when it's wet, it's almost black. I suppose it's refraction or summit.) Anyway, I have this theory that loose skin allows the little pipes to reach the hair follicles and so feeds the hair-making devices. The only problem is, all this loose skin allowed my face to fall off. :ooh:

For most of my later life, I've used one of those plastic brushes that fit over the fingers. I scrubble at the scalp until it's red sometimes. Any hair that falls out is probably lost anyway. Feels nice, too. Blood flow is the answer I guess but I did meet one chap who's hair was all gone on the dome. It was astonishing just how tight the skin was - almost painted on. However, his wife was the single most attractive woman I've met in the last 30 years so it's done him no harm.

10th Sep 2016, 23:55
...and the attendant blow-dry was a sensuous experience - G-CPTN

She included an ear massage and blow out. - P-N

Now why did I misread those posts first time round?


11th Sep 2016, 01:46
I practiced by clipping the dog yesterday.
I consoled him by assuring him that there's only a week between a bad haircut and a good one. Next weekend we'll be staying with a friend who's a retired RSM, so we'll see if it meets his approval.

Pontius Navigator
11th Sep 2016, 08:00
TTN, well she didn't offer anything else, besides it was all public.

Misread that :)

11th Sep 2016, 08:38
When I reached 60 I retired (because them was the rules), so attending my usual barber with my bus pass in hand, I commented that I could now qualify for Pensioners rate. "Oh no you can't" said friendly barber, "you took early retirement as far as I'm concerned".

OK, says I, then no haircuts for me and you can stuff your clippers up your ar*e! That was nearly 13 years ago. So the money that friendly barber used to get bought me a Wahl clipper too. Saved a fortune. Lovely Jubbly


11th Sep 2016, 13:47
Sorry guys I have no sympathy for those of more mature years sporting thick, dense hair !
I moan at the hairdressers for their charges in the principal that they have little to cut
I spend ages placing the thinned top in place which is so thin the slightest breeze sends it everywhere but where I want it to be
I am sure I keep the hairspray companies going

Even toyed with the idea of a transplant but cowered out
Maybe one day they will grow follicules if my hair and they can stick 10,000 in that top
Even met a guy who had his pubic hair removed and transplanted into the top of his head ) apparently it changes to head hair but didn't fancy that risk ))
Until then I envy those who can get trendy styles when my only option is to look ridiculous or chop it off ))

My female hairdresser puts up with my moans and tries to reassure me that it looks great but I know she is lying through her teeth ))

Really nature ain't that hot where as you get older you loose hair where you don't want to loose it and grow it where you don't want to grow it like in your ears and nose )
But if you have it you can colour it spike it,gel it or whatever your heart desires! If it's just not there what can you do ?

Loose rivets
11th Sep 2016, 22:18
Mmm . . . I got to the gathering but my wife was prepared for the transformation. A friend hadn't realized I was up to my usual pranks and let on. Shame that, as I'd glued my ears back with silicone and . . . oh, I forgot to say. This morning, a pal came around to see the sight. He mentioned some long bits I'd missed and then offered to tidy them up. We went into the garden and he set about buzzing over my head - with the damn thing set even lower. I'm now just covered in fuzz, or not even that cos I'd not realised just how much it had receded from the temples. Bloody Nora! With no hair and no ears, I look so different.

Anyway, several people arrived at the Rivetess' flat - people I've known for 30 years or more, and most of them didn't recognise me until I spoke. Having lost 30lbs probably had something to do with it. I'm not sure I've got the nerve to go the the yacht club like it. In fact, I'm not sure I've got the nerve to go out at all.

Sue VÍtements
11th Sep 2016, 22:49
Even met a guy who had his pubic hair removed and transplanted into the top of his head (apparently it changes to head hair but didn't fancy that risk )So THAT'S why the guy I work with is always scratching the top of his head :D

12th Sep 2016, 01:51
I bought myself a Wahl cutter, stuck the No 2 guide on it
Me too, but with the No.4 comb. Very reliable bit of kit is your Wahl, and worth the extra money. Has paid for itself. Keep it cleaned & oiled after each use.

12th Sep 2016, 09:59
.......Even met a guy who had his pubic hair removed and transplanted into the top of his head......

I actually toyed with that idea once. But I backed out after I came to the conclusion that I would look ridiculous with an Afro! :uhoh:

12th Sep 2016, 12:38
Another vote for the Wahl clippers. I've used a set for around 5 years now, far more reliable than the junk sold as electric clippers in Boots and the like.

What has always puzzled me is why the hair on your head stops growing so much as you get older, but instead it grows like crazy in your nostrils and ears. I've been trying to work out what evolutionary benefit there could possibly be in being bald but with long tufts of hair poking out of your ears and nose.......................

12th Sep 2016, 12:45
Maybe you can extract and transplant ear and nose hair like pubic hair and stick it all on top
Going bald and thinning makes no sense as does hair growing profusely in areas you don't want it ))

Loose rivets
12th Sep 2016, 23:21
Those people that have a few hair left should pull on them very hard. You'll notice they'll get longer while the nose and ear hairs go back in.:ooh:

Metro man
13th Sep 2016, 03:21
A former barber of mine stopped using the mirror to show me the back of my head after I kept complaining about him cutting too close on top and giving me a bald spot.

I try and get my hair cuts done on trips away in third world countries, I managed a shave in India for 50p and a haircut in the Philippines for 65p. Hygiene not up to western standards but I'm still alive. I hear some barbers in the UK charge a tenner for a trim !

13th Sep 2016, 09:37
I hear some barbers in the UK charge a tenner for a trim !

And the rest!

The great-grandaddy of barber shops, Geo F Trumper has been around since the mid-19th century, first operating from its Curzon Street outlet, before opening a second on Jermyn Street in the 60s. As close to a Empire-era shave as you'll ever get, the mahogany-clad interior, cabinets full of mirrors, soaps and brushes dating back to 1875 and impossibly courteous staff make the £27 for a haircut seem like a pittance.

Loose rivets
13th Sep 2016, 10:24
Now, here's a haircut . . .

(you might get roped in about trump. You won't be disappointed.)

Ken Burns Offers Blistering Takedown Of Donald Trump In Stanford Commencement Speech | Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ken-burns-donald-trump_us_575daa58e4b0ced23ca85aa4)

Pontius Navigator
13th Sep 2016, 19:25
TTN, you forgot the whiskey.

14th Sep 2016, 11:02
What bugs me is that I still pay the going rate yet my barber spends less and less time with less material to work with each time.

Life's a beach:ok:

14th Sep 2016, 13:05

Tried a couple of times to get a haircut at Trumper's without making an appointment. No luck! Both times got turned away politely as they were fully booked and both times were Saturday afternoons!

The last occasion was a couple of months ago. I popped into the Hilton Park Lane for a trim but found they had closed early due to few customers (not surprising at £32 a pop) so thought I'd try Trumpers only to get aforementioned flea in ear.

Resigning myself to no haircut that day I drove over to Charlotte Street to find somewhere for an early dinner and spotted a haircutting establishment still open (it was around 1730) with one or two customers but no huge queue so thought I would risk it. Turned out to be the best haircut I'd had for a long time (he even singed the annoying ear hairs!). I was happy to pay the Turkish barber £27 and making a note of his name resolved to see him for my next haircut.

Seven weeks later I'm back in London, this time on a Thursday, and the place is packed to the door with people waiting for a haircut. Not only that, 'my' barber is nowhere to be seem and it appears he has left. Well thinks I, I'm here now, might as well wait and as all the staff seem Turkish it'll probably be all right. And that's what it was, just 'all right', nothing special. So my search for a great haircut continues.

wings folded
14th Sep 2016, 13:36
A somewhat follicly underprivileged friend told me he paid £25 for a haircut.

I was a little surprised, since with what they cut away in my case I lose about a stone in weight. And I pay £15.

"Ah," he said, "the barber explained it was £5 to cut, and a £20 search fee."

14th Sep 2016, 17:32
One has been lucky in the follicular stakes in that one has a full head of hair the trouble is it has been going grey since the age of 20.

Like others here I get the SWMBO to cut it with a number 5 comb once every couple of weeks. Let's see at 10 quid a go that's about enough for her to buy a new pair of shoes and a handbag once a year!

Pontius Navigator
14th Sep 2016, 19:20
Wahl maintenance and blade sharpening etc, can I recommend Diamond Edge

14th Sep 2016, 20:25
Some bloke on Radio 2 the other morning wrote in to say that his wife bought some dog clippers but after giving up trying to make a good job of it, decided to spend £40 every month on taking the dog to a "Canine Coiffeur" instead.

And he now gets his own hair cut by his wife wielding dog clippers... :eek: