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mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 02:01
How did the Irish truck driver explain the stowaways on his Lorry to the Calaise Police?

"Tree fellas did it"

Calais people-smugglers use tree to board lorries http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-37190053

It is a trunk road so Special Branch are investigating.


Mickjoebill

Sue VÍtements
27th Aug 2016, 02:08
You really went out on a limb with that one!

jackieofalltrades
27th Aug 2016, 02:26
These puns are really going against the grain.

SASless
27th Aug 2016, 02:40
Could it be a Splinter Group of some kind?

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 03:21
You really went out on a limb with that one!

I'm barking mad.

Just heard the truck driver got the chop, he had been warned against stopping, but the poor sap couldn't turn over a new leaf.

Mjb

Takan Inchovit
27th Aug 2016, 03:42
He's rooted now.

Hempy
27th Aug 2016, 03:52
The leave campaign has kept him in business

treadigraph
27th Aug 2016, 06:00
Took me a while to twig what you're talking about.

Hempy
27th Aug 2016, 06:40
Did they check his log book?

ORAC
27th Aug 2016, 06:45
The people smugglers are obviously branching out.

fujii
27th Aug 2016, 06:48
Can't we just leaf them alone?

ORAC
27th Aug 2016, 06:50
So the French use cones on the road to stop traffic as well?

(Sorry if that's an old chestnut.)

Peter-RB
27th Aug 2016, 07:51
The "Camion Pilote" wood be in lumber with his boss when he got back to the base.. to explain the root of the problem..!;)

Stanwell
27th Aug 2016, 07:53
Aw, c'mon .. where's your compassion?
Just because they've fallen out of the tree of ambition (and hit every branch on the way down)
doesn't mean that they're not solid cedar.

Ibanez001
27th Aug 2016, 08:32
Yew might say they were pining to get in...

gruntie
27th Aug 2016, 08:43
It seems a question of boughing to the inevitable......

Sallyann1234
27th Aug 2016, 08:57
Enough already! We need to root out this idle chatter.

cattletruck
27th Aug 2016, 09:05
It was a plant.

Above The Clouds
27th Aug 2016, 09:15
He just couldn't see the wood for the trees.

Pontius Navigator
27th Aug 2016, 09:34
Maybe someone cut down the tree of Knowledge

B Fraser
27th Aug 2016, 09:41
I am getting sycamore tree jokes.

Takan Inchovit
27th Aug 2016, 09:46
Another case of hedging?

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 10:04
Those immigrants are not poplar, if they spruced themselves up yewed be less petrified.

Mjb

G-CPTN
27th Aug 2016, 10:17
Truck drivers can't see the would for the trees.

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 10:25
They dropped a plane tree on the runway but luckily the pilot sawed it.

Mjb

Takan Inchovit
27th Aug 2016, 10:33
The drivers need to stick to what they know.

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 10:39
The drivers need to stick to what they know.

Nailed it

Mjb

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 13:11
The police looked like they didn't give a fig, but the cleanup crew were chipper.

Mjb

Pontius Navigator
27th Aug 2016, 14:08
It wood if the willowed strippings saw the trees and brushed the forking road without a chip on their shoulders because the wooden tops barked at them.

Hempy
27th Aug 2016, 14:24
The poor driver was just lumbering along trying to ply his trade.

englishkev
27th Aug 2016, 14:32
I hope special branch have been informed

cattletruck
27th Aug 2016, 14:46
The truck driver involved who had an axe to grind wasn't poplar at all, in fact he was a bit of a sap and police could see right through his veneer.

ZOOKER
27th Aug 2016, 14:49
We need to welcome these folk to a new reception centre near Ashford,
Oak-ay.

ZOOKER
27th Aug 2016, 14:54
You have to admit, hi-jacking a truck is probably safer than Rowan across The Channel.

Sallyann1234
27th Aug 2016, 17:29
Shouldn't this be in the Friday Joaks thread?

Sallyann1234
27th Aug 2016, 17:33
Being serious for a moment, this item seems not to have been noted here:

Migrants rescued from sandbank off Kent coast - BBC News (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-37186599)

Sue VÍtements
27th Aug 2016, 17:46
That's a gritty story with National ramifications all the way to Westminster.

HeartyMeatballs
27th Aug 2016, 17:54
Careful now. The lefties will be offended. I don't think you're allowed to call people who illegally migrate here 'illegal immigrants'. I think the PC way to refer to them is 'non standard' or something like that.

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 21:41
Truss me, this thread is beginning to driftwood.

Mjb

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 21:53
The migrants were discovered at the Varne sandbank about seven miles off Dover.

The people smugglers made a deposit in an offshore bank.

Mjb

mickjoebill
27th Aug 2016, 21:57
So the French use cones on the road to stop traffic as well?

(Sorry if that's an old chestnut.)

The police don't give a fig but the cleanup crew were chipper.

Mjb

ZOOKER
27th Aug 2016, 22:04
The 'customers' obviously have a clear objective.......Birch Services.

G-CPTN
30th Aug 2016, 17:50
Meanwhile British Royal Navy ships have participated in the 'rescue' of 6500 migrants picked up 12 miles off the coast of Libya.
Apparently the traffickers load unseaworthy ships with just enough fuel to reach the waiting rescue vessels.

Why are we giving these seafarers 'assisted safe passage'?

Apparently there are 275,000 more awaiting in Libya.

A survey of nationalities arriving in Italy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-37216881) didn't include any Libyans - so, presumably, it is a safe country?

Once in Italy, there are no borders to prevent these migrants from reaching Calais.

Pontius Navigator
30th Aug 2016, 18:02
G-CPTN, Ask me one on sport. We could rescue thousands more if we just went 12 miles south rather than a 100 north.

MReyn24050
30th Aug 2016, 18:23
The companies manufacturing and supplying these life jackets must be making a fortune. Cannot the "people" smugglers" be traced via the sales of these items? Just a thought.

NutLoose
30th Aug 2016, 20:11
Until they start picking them up, sinking the boats and then landing them back in Libya nothing will change, once it gets spread around amongst the migrants by those that have paid thousands to get instantly returned, is the time the people traffickers business dries up. No one will feed their greed knowing that regardless they will be returned.
And the sooner the EU gets that through their thick skulls the better, all this PC b*llsh*t isn't working and they are totally blind to it. Similar with Calais and the U.K. Border, simply deport them straight back to France end off.
Destroy their papers so you cannot be deported, N.P South Georgia is part of the U.K. and nice at this time of year, nice if cold, but a few on this and they will be requesting to go home.

meadowrun
30th Aug 2016, 20:32
Just how much Aid$ is the EU feeding into Libya?
Make it totally contingent on 100% acceptance of the return of those "rescued" off their shores.

Fairdealfrank
30th Aug 2016, 20:38
Careful now. The lefties will be offended. I don't think you're allowed to call people who illegally migrate here 'illegal immigrants'. I think the PC way to refer to them is 'non standard' or something like that.

Why not? Seems a reasonable description for some one who has immigrated illegally.


Meanwhile British Royal Navy ships have participated in the 'rescue' of 6500 migrants picked up 12 miles off the coast of Libya.
Apparently the traffickers load unseaworthy ships with just enough fuel to reach the waiting rescue vessels.

Why are we giving these seafarers 'assisted safe passage'?

Apparently there are 275,000 more awaiting in Libya.

To encourage more, it's the EU way of resolving the problems of aging populations in European countries by increasing the numbers of working age. Why else would Merkel want 1,000,000+ in Germany?

Like any ill-thought through policy (and most EU policies are ill-thought through) it will backfire, bigtime.


Until they start picking them up, sinking the boats and then landing them back in Libya nothing will change, once it gets spread around amongst the migrants by those that have paid thousands to get instantly returned, is the time the people traffickers business dries up. No one will feed their greed knowing that regardless they will be returned.

This was/is the Australian policy, worked well apparently.

sitigeltfel
30th Aug 2016, 20:43
A Belgian I know who works for the asylum processing section in her country joked that they soon won't need boats. She reckons they will be able to walk across the Med on the raft of discarded passports and other personal documents.

DirtyProp
31st Aug 2016, 05:18
Meanwhile British Royal Navy ships have participated in the 'rescue' of 6500 migrants picked up 12 miles off the coast of Libya.
Apparently the traffickers load unseaworthy ships with just enough fuel to reach the waiting rescue vessels.

Why are we giving these seafarers 'assisted safe passage'?
Because the huggy-fluffies loooove to do good with OPM.
They will push for their citizenship, and of course their right to vote.
The lefties are coming up with more lies and b.s. to shove down on us as we speak.

Apparently there are 275,000 more awaiting in Libya.

A survey of nationalities arriving in Italy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-37216881) didn't include any Libyans - so, presumably, it is a safe country?

Once in Italy, there are no borders to prevent these migrants from reaching Calais.
France, Austria and the Swiss are stopping them.
All trains are checked, and roads as well as far as I know.

The companies manufacturing and supplying these life jackets must be making a fortune. Cannot the "people" smugglers" be traced via the sales of these items? Just a thought.
The Lybian govmt - whatever that is - doesn't want it.
Wonder why....

crippen
31st Aug 2016, 06:02
I wonder if we could get john hill to get them into good old North Korea? :E

Pontius Navigator
31st Aug 2016, 07:55
To encourage more, it's the EU way of resolving the problems of aging populations in European countries by increasing the numbers of working
Workers? .

Fairdealfrank
1st Sep 2016, 01:18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairdealfrank
To encourage more, it's the EU way of resolving the problems of aging populations in European countries by increasing the numbers of working

Workers? . Of course that's the idea, and, as mentioned in my post above, "like any ill-thought through policy (and most EU policies are ill-thought through) it will backfire, bigtime".

Why else would Merkel encourage 1,000,000 to come to Germany?

The idea must be grant asylum without proper checks, fast-track permanent residence, and issue the equivelant of national insurance numbers, otherwise what's the point?

The fly in the ointment: there are no jobs and unemployment is on the increase!

Funny, isn't it, how European unemployment rises with every act of "ever closer union"/"more Europe"?

Rwy in Sight
1st Sep 2016, 06:00
Until they start picking them up, sinking the boats and then landing them back in Libya nothing will change,

NutLoose, may I point out the violence reactions of the strong young adults when they realize they return to their point of origin after t have paid thousands to get instantly returned? And no western society is read to change the ROE to settle the issue.

Out Of Trim
1st Sep 2016, 10:57
This migrant problem has Europe stumped!

G-CPTN
1st Sep 2016, 11:18
This migrant problem has Europe stumped!
And who is to blame?

Fark'n'ell
2nd Sep 2016, 07:46
Looks like the driver may have been left out on a limb.

They dropped a plane tree on the runway but luckily the pilot sawed it.
MJB,what state in the USA are you from.:D:D:D:D

Out Of Trim
2nd Sep 2016, 16:39
Originally posted by G-CPTN And who is to blame?

I was adding to the Tree Pun! ;)

Seriously.. It depends which migrants you mean. Some from Syria, escaping the Warzone. The economic migrants, looking for an easier life and benefits etc.

So who is to blame are various and many.

Who is to blame that they are in France; is down to the EU and the Schengen Agreement that allows for porous Borders. :* :yuk:

sitigeltfel
2nd Sep 2016, 16:48
A year ago, Yvette Cooper (Mrs Ed Balls), pledged to take asylum seekers into her own home. As of now, not one immigrant has crossed the threshold of her taxpayer maintained home.

But the Asylum Suckers still fall for all the platitudes and excuses she and her tribe spout.

Fairdealfrank
2nd Sep 2016, 22:56
So who is to blame are various and many.

Who is to blame that they are in France; is down to the EU and the Schengen Agreement that allows for porous Borders.

.....and the utter failure of "Frontex" (the EU/schenghen common border control agency) to do its job properly and secure the external borders of the schenghen area.


A year ago, Yvette Cooper (Mrs Ed Balls), pledged to take asylum seekers into her own home. As of now, not one immigrant has crossed the threshold of her taxpayer maintained home.

Why is that not a surprise?

But the Asylum Suckers still fall for all the platitudes and excuses she and her tribe spout

Disgusting gesture politics of the worst kind.

Loose rivets
2nd Sep 2016, 23:35
I unpacked my old workshop vice today. The paper it was wrapped in was dated 2002. HUGE fears about illegal immigration - 200,000 was mentioned, and the UK as the number one choice.

circa 15 years ago, and presumably there hasn't been a significant gap in the flow over these intervening years.

It's about now that I beat the population fraud drum, though it's my belief that the main increase is due to overenthusiastic procreation.

50 million in 1950 and mid 60's now. So for every 5 souls when I was ten, there's 6.5-ish now. I think my first thread on the subject was 'Who are all these people?"

At least I'm consistent. (Gosh, first post was a long time ago even in 2009)

http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/386740-something-isn-t-adding-up-here.html#post5153620


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:suspect: Founder member of Hate the Edit thing.

Hempy
3rd Sep 2016, 05:11
Go home, you're drunk :ok: