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Sue VÍtements
22nd Aug 2016, 22:50
I went out last night, but didn't have enough fuel to make the return trip. Because of that I interrupted the outbound leg by stopping off at a gas station to fill up but the card reader wouldn't work so I blew it off and continued to my destination.

Well today I remembered to fill up, went to another gas station but that pump didn't work correctly. The automatic shutoff kept engaging so it was going to take me ages to get a full tank.

ok, did anyone notice the clue here? The second word in the second paragraph ... "today" and yet, you said in your statement that you didn't have enough fuel to make the round trip! Ha! I put it to you that it was YOU who murdered Colonel Mustard in the Library!

What I completely forgot was that on the way home last night I stopped at yet another gas station and did the fill up, so when today I thought the auto cutoff was too sensitive, it was actually working as expected. I finally figured it out when I smelled petrol and saw it gushing out of the filler neck.

So I'd remembered the rejected refueling operation, but completely forgotten the subsequent successful one. :rolleyes:




Right then, what dumb thing have YOU done recently?

Local Variation
22nd Aug 2016, 23:12
Stopped at the local garage to put air in the nearside rear.

Got the 20p token for the pump. Put the token in and without pay attention, took the hose, pushed it on the tyre valve and squeezed the trigger. The hose happened to be water and I suffered a considerable splash back.

In my (wet) defence, the water and air hoses appeared identical right down to the point where you connect the air hose to the valve. Upon later inspection, the instructions were loud and clear. Being the duffer I am, I didn't consider for one minute that the machine could provide both. Modern technology.....water used to be from a watering can next to the fuel pump.

Hydromet
22nd Aug 2016, 23:37
In a hurry to get away on a several hundred km trip taking a computer with me. Unlocked the vehicle gates into the yard, where I loaded the computer. Then, so I wouldn't have to lose time stopping to lock the gates after I'd driven out, I locked them before I drove out.

Great time saver.

onetrack
23rd Aug 2016, 00:37
Do you all have blonde hair by any chance? :)

SASless
23rd Aug 2016, 01:32
Or Irish Ancestry?

Stanwell
23rd Aug 2016, 03:00
Cheeky bugger, SASless.
I do something dumb every day - but I do try to keep it to no more than once a day.

SASless
23rd Aug 2016, 04:02
As I enjoy the great outdoors in places a very long way from anywhere....and mostly where there is no Cell Phone Coverage.....I have three magnetic Key Boxes with Door Keys, stashed in various places onboard my big old Diesel 4x4 Pickup.

Do not ask what convinced me of the wisdom of that practice!

Rest assured...even with the very best of fire starting materials in one's Ruck Sack....Elk Season in Washington State can make for an interesting evening when the Temperature is just below Freezing, the Wind is howling, and the Rain is coming down like a Tall Cow peeing on a Flat Rock!

When the boys realized I had not shown for Breakfast and my Pickup Truck was not parked at the Motel in Town.....they decided they might just want to cruise up to my last known parking place.

I did manage to get a fire going....finally and was only half frozen when they showed up.

We perfected a better SAR Plan after that.

Stanwell.....I am of Scots-Irish Descent.

Nervous SLF
23rd Aug 2016, 06:38
It seems that i do dumb things everyday lately according to SWMBO that is. I never truely realised how
stupid I was until I got married then my eyes were opened. It's no wonder husbands die first, "because
they want to" is the apparent phrase.

alwayzinit
23rd Aug 2016, 09:22
Like you SLF my eyes have now been open for 28 years:cool:

Imagine my joy when SWMBO told me she had dropped her iPhone down the loo!!
It was OBVIOUSLY NOT her fault that it was in the back pocket of her jeans when the "call of nature" came. And she "hadn't wanted to be at that house anyway!" ??????
I thought better of asking why she felt sitting on her phone was a good idea............:eek:

DType
23rd Aug 2016, 11:07
Set the Avo to 500 Volt range.
Grabbed the bare wires to connect to the Avo.

That was 60 years ago, and I went on to breed, so Darwin was thwarted again.

However, "Lessons were learned".

yellowtriumph
23rd Aug 2016, 12:18
SWMBO kept telling me that the touch sensitive lamp by the front door in the hallway didn't always work when she came in, yet it always worked for me?


Turned out the problem only occurred in winter when she came home wearing her gloves. Fiery gold hair - natural too.

SASless
23rd Aug 2016, 12:29
YT,

Please tell me you told her you would look into the problem and get it fixed best you can.......surely you did not opine she should take her Mittens off before touching said Lamp?

Loose rivets
23rd Aug 2016, 12:38
So glad I read this thread.

A while back, months not years, I found myself pushing my bike.

It wasn't that I was supposed to be riding it, it was that I was 20' inside the CoOp store.

But I was thinking of gravity! I have the answer to the Universe, the ultimate question. I might be the only person on Earth that knows the . . .

I was thinking such profound thoughts, but I didn't say a word. I turned my bike around, carefully minding old ladies, sloped out and got m'self a trolley.


Having a life that has been one crisis after another, I'm kind of immune to things now, but I am really bewildered that I've bought myself a 150mph car. It sits there looking at me, wondering no doubt if today will be the day I let it loose. "75mph??!!" I hear it say. "What has my life become? Owned by an old bloke." I even imagine I can hear a car-sob. "Why then did you put 300kph tyres on me?" It adds.

It's this hearing cars talk that's another problem. The 635 has a lot to say, but it's usually preceded by a DONG, and that way I know if the voices are from the car or just more of the ones I hear in the stillness of the night. :ooh:

Pontius Navigator
23rd Aug 2016, 13:40
45 ltr of PETROL in my diesel AND drove 20 miles home AND managed to start it later that evening. Ran a bit rough and then the penny dropped.

Why do some filling stations use the SAME colour pump handle, black in this case, for regular petrol/diesel and Red for premium petrol/diesel? OK, the green hose is a clue but the nozzle aint.

SASless
23rd Aug 2016, 13:45
In the USA now....we have to add Cow Urine to the Diesel engines....done by means of a separate tank with an identical filler to that of the Fuel Tank.

It gets expensive when you get it all confused.

Pontius Navigator
23rd Aug 2016, 14:29
SASLess, reminds me of the dumb blonde in US at the filling station. The helpful attendant asked if she would like the water topping up.. yes please she said.

When they eventually got the hood popped, after a debate, the attendant removed the filler cap and topped off the engine with water.

Carry0nLuggage
23rd Aug 2016, 14:30
Back in May I went to fill a hire car up at EWR before returning it and wondered why the green nozzle was covered in waxy looking gunge. The penny dropped and I swapped it for the black nozzle and made a mental note that US fuel nozzles use the opposite colours to UK ones.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I'm pulling into a petrol station and retelling this story to Ms Luggage. (Anyone seeing where this is going yet?)

Into the filler hole goes the green nozzle. Once done, I checked the pump number before going to pay and OH F***! 60 odd litres of unleaded in a diesel car. F***ity f***! 2 relays later we're home and the car is outside the dealers waiting for the following day.

No frosty response from Ms L; we are even now in the misfuelling game.

MadsDad
23rd Aug 2016, 14:33
SASless, I'm not at all sure this is a sensible question to be asking, but 'cow urine'?

The main reason I ask is we are due to visit family in the USA soon and I may end up borrowing one of their cars. And I think one of them is a Disiesel. (Ref 'Rev. Awdry). Anyway what is that about?

(Cow Urine ???????).

TWT
23rd Aug 2016, 14:40
Cow urine = aqueous urea solution

A feature of newer diesel vehicles.The DEF is sprayed into the hot exhaust from the engine,which reduces NOx emissions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diesel_exhaust_fluid

Older diesel cars don't have this requirement.Called 'Adblue' in Europe and 'DEF' ( diesel exhaust fluid ) in the USA
nnnnnn
nnnnnn
nnnnnn

ShyTorque
23rd Aug 2016, 14:46
Urea/ "Adblue" is what they add to modern diesels. And they charge you for it. It really is taking the p***.

Anyway, what do I know? Luckily, I don't need to know anything either; I'm married too. All I have to do is comply with opinion and keep totally silent while Coronation Street is on.

SASless
23rd Aug 2016, 15:33
DEF is two thirds water and one third Urea (think Piss!)

If you run short of DEF....collect some of the original from your family and you are good to go till you get to a Shop to buy some proper DEF.

Our lovely EPA changed the Law in 2010 I think it is to require the use of DEF in all Diesel Engines.

Mine is a 2006 and does not have to comply with that new Regulation.

There are separate Tanks for Fuel and DEF....don't confuse them as DEF into the Fuel Tank gets really expensive to correct if you run the engine at all.



http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mrnGX-sVXsBtnA6wdtdpMoQ.jpg

evansb
23rd Aug 2016, 16:30
Yes, urea is a biological sourced nitrogen. Combined with formaldehyde, the resins are used in adhesives, finishes, particle board, MDF, and molded objects.

P.S. The "dumb blonde" joke setup is just so old and irrelevant. It hasn't been funny in about a decade..

MadsDad
23rd Aug 2016, 16:47
Oh well. I suppose I learn something every day. Whether I want to or not.

Thanx gents.

alwayzinit
23rd Aug 2016, 16:51
Coronation Street: Please will some one tell me why this visual "sloppy joe" is like cat nip to the "Management".
I love it that it gives me a bit of peace but then I get the verbal abridged version about folk I neither know or care about!:ugh:

G-CPTN
23rd Aug 2016, 16:56
Coronation Street: I get the verbal abridged version about folk I neither know or care about!:ugh:
Who aren't real anyway. :ugh:

Carry0nLuggage
23rd Aug 2016, 17:04
Quote:
Originally Posted by alwayzinit View Post
Coronation Street: I get the verbal abridged version about folk I neither know or care about!
Who aren't real anyway.

And yet also manage to get column inches in the news media :ugh::ugh:

Pontius Navigator
23rd Aug 2016, 18:25
And even the PM on free the Corrie one or some such, but that was when he was a star struck money grubbing politician. Now just a money grubbing . . . .

andytug
23rd Aug 2016, 18:40
That would probably be the day I removed the second light fitting from the kitchen, but thought that switching both light switches to "off" would be sufficient to render it safe.
Fine until you disconnect the wiring and touch the ends - OK I am now thoroughly awake and lucky that being in the roof space puts me a fair way from earth! Whole house supply off and redo from start......

Stanwell
23rd Aug 2016, 22:08
Just a tip...
Be careful when your favourite ditzy blonde comes to visit for a couple of days.
A lovely girl but she could politely described as 'technologically challenged'.

One morning, when the missus and I had left for work, she felt like a boiled egg for breakfast.
As a shortcut, she'd decided that just popping the egg into the microwave would be a good idea.
Well, it blew the door off its hinges and took the better part of an afternoon to clean up the resultant mess from the opposite walls, cupboards benches etc.
I doubt she'll do that again.

Windy Militant
23rd Aug 2016, 22:26
I did something dumb today
Yup I got out of bed! :* :ugh:

Loose rivets
24th Aug 2016, 14:22
I left my beautiful Stanley electric screwdriver in Texas, along with masses of other tools. Last Sunday, I spotted a B&D version in a boot sale and paid 50p for it.

Pleasantly surprised it charged, I wasn't too worried about the fact it only went in reverse. I pulled it apart - for some reason in the kitchen - and after some day's break picked now to clean contacts and reassemble. I was puzzled by a lack of the bit that the contacts pressed down on.

In fact, I was so puzzled that once I'd worked out they had to have been there, I then spent the next hour and a half looking for the silvered metal and two attached wires. Worse still, since I'd worked in the kitchen, I emptied the dustbin in total detail and searched every splodge of grot. I then pulled the work-surface away from the wall and probed behind that. Used to looking for things that are right in front of me, I'm having a cup of tea while thinking laterally.

I'm not sure I can't smell cat's poo. Shouldn't be able to, but not quite sure.

I'd decided you see, to pick some plums to spend time in the sun and air my disappearing body. (2.5 stone gone) Luckily, just before stepping into the kitchen, I got a whiff of a TERRIBLE smell. Charming garden, but hardly make use of it at all, and the only time this summer I'd gone into it for pleasure I'd stepped into a moggie's product. The other part of my morning was cleaning shoes that have soles with a deep and complex pattern.

So, one of the 20 days I can expect to be nice this summer has not been a total joy. (I'm pausing to look around the room for a bit of silvered metal with two black wires attached, and while pausing, notice the 155mph silver thing on the front lawn that I'd forgotten about. The odd thing is, I'd much sooner get my 50p driver going than go out in the object I purchased in a fit on insanity.

Oh, I purchased a silver MagLight kind of thing - from the same man and for the same price. It took a vice and some heat to open it, and I had to drill out the old batteries, but at least that goes. Or would, if I could find it.:suspect:

Gargleblaster
24th Aug 2016, 14:59
A while ago I bought a disc brake lock for my Ducati Monster.

At the airport, after an excellent landing, I started my ride home.

Onto the pavement I flew.

Have never used it since.

SASless
25th Aug 2016, 02:46
Wheeled my Harley Two Wheeled Tractor into the Driveway in front of the Garage at the House....turned the front wheel to start a U-Turn....applied the Front Brake....and immediately laid the 900 pound thing square on its side.

No damage to the Hawg but my Hat Size shrunk several sizes!

I used the approved method to stand the bike up less one small detail...I was on the Right hand side of the Bike....and the Kick Stand was on the Left Hand Side.....in the Up position.

There is no swinging a Leg over the Bike and keeping it upright.....for the Record it is a long way around the back end to the other side balancing that amount of weight!

Loose rivets
25th Aug 2016, 12:14
Gettin' me leg over has become a problem . . . in more ways than one.:uhoh:


That missing bit. Well, the cordless screwdriver had only cost 50p, so it had become a game more than a need to find it. I'd reasoned that there were two black wires onto a curved silvered metal contactor strip. It has to be somewhere, and not that hard to see. After tea I started again.

I just wouldn't stop. LSS, I spent at least and hour, maybe more, searching in the most incredible detail. I'd phoned the only other person to come in the house, but still wasn't sure he hadn't walked out with it hooked to his jumper or some-such daft thing. Then I made myself sit down a stare at the table with the bits on. (for the 10th time) How would I have built that? The rotating switch plate has to convey the power to the motor, and that just has two feeble lugs sticking out the back ready for press-on connectors . . . the light bulb over my head started to glimmer very, very faintly.

I offered the motor to the switch plate, shook my head and thought again. Then did it again. And again. Finally there was a position that allowed the lugs through but that way they had to be the contacts. Surely B&D wouldn't . . . would they? I built it up like that and it worked. Hefty rotating direction selector just presses down on the motor's lugs - which look like they'd break if you breathed on them. :ugh: Oh, my. I'll put my new acquisition with the torch - if I can find it?

SASless
25th Aug 2016, 12:33
LR,

Simply go buy another one of those torches....and when you get home just put it where you normally do....and sure as Rain at Brighton on a Summer's Day....you will experience what is known as "Buy One...Get One Free!" because you will immediately discover the hiding place of the previous Torch as you unintentionally place the new one right next to the old one.

onetrack
25th Aug 2016, 13:22
Didn't happen to me - but I was witness to the confession of a dumb event.

I was driving along a wide, sealed, major rural/goldfields highway in the evening, around 8:00PM (it was well past dark, by an hour or more) when I noted two individuals seemingly lying prone by the roadside (gravel) shoulder, alongside a large motorbike that was lying horizontal (well, it was past horizontal, it was leaning downwards off the shoulder).

I stopped and reversed up, like the concerned citizen I normally am, fearing that I had encountered a major motorcycle accident, with resultant injured victims.

I stopped alongside the bike, only to hear groaning and grunting sounds, adding to my alarm.

The conversation went like this ....

Me: "You blokes alright?"

The "Victims". "Oooohh, Arrrrrghhh, Grunt, Gasp ... No, we're right mate!"

"We just pulled up for a leak, and parked the bike on the kickstand - and the f****** thing fell over! - and now, we can't stand it up again!"

What had happened of course, was that the bike was lying downwards off the slope of the shoulder, and the two blokes were under it, trying to get it upright (gasping, grunting and groaning) - but the angle of repose of the big bike, plus the slippery slope below the bike, were combining to defeat their efforts at standing it up again!

I jumped out and rendered additional assistance and we soon had the big beast upright again, where it should have been - and they continued their journey, with nothing more than a severe case of embarrassment.

ShyTorque
25th Aug 2016, 13:32
My significant other has a reputation for losing things such as specs, car keys, purse. I have been telling her for many years to put things in the same place each time (in the principle of a place for everything and everything in its place). It works for me, anyway.

My daughter is back from uni and shared my frustration with her mother forever claiming that someone has hidden her specs, car keys, purse etc. She brought her a small basket so that she could make a point of having a place for everything. Problem is, significant other forgets to use it. We give up!

Loose rivets
25th Aug 2016, 13:53
Not sure how I got talking about motorcycles, but it doesn't take much :p and they're in the bucket ready to revive the ageing memory circuits.


EDIT TO SAY: Probably the daftest thing I ever did was to go overboard with bikes in a middle aged burst of teenageness.

I used to reckon that it would cost a grand if I laid this over - even stationary, and that's in about 1985.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/walnaze/Cars/bikes/EFEohandRob.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/walnaze/media/Cars/bikes/EFEohandRob.jpg.html)

By comparison, the 750R was a doddle to pick up - or I imagine so. I sold it before the blips had worn off the tyres, though I wouldn't have done so if I'd known how wonderful the handling was before I rode it to Victoria station - in the rain.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/walnaze/Cars/bikes/HRobonGTX750R.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/walnaze/media/Cars/bikes/HRobonGTX750R.jpg.html)

Mind you, I think this would have been a challenge.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/walnaze/Cars/bikes/big.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/walnaze/media/Cars/bikes/big.jpg.html)

SASless
25th Aug 2016, 14:07
Biker Rule 1- It if ain't Raining....you Ain't Riding!

it seems as though every significant Charity Ride I attend tries to set records for Goose Drownings.

Loose rivets
25th Aug 2016, 23:41
Oh, a quick moment of praise before I grow up and stop talking about bikes - someone on FB tonight posted a picture of a lot of 50's bikers and talked of telling kids to count bikes on their family drives.

Count them when young and you'll see them when you're driving yourself, was the message.

I thought it was a brilliant idea.

chevvron
26th Aug 2016, 00:31
Urea/ "Adblue" is what they add to modern diesels. And they charge you for it. It really is taking the p***.

Anyway, what do I know? Luckily, I don't need to know anything either; I'm married too. All I have to do is comply with opinion and keep totally silent while Coronation Street is on.
With me it's never correct her and keep totally silent when Talksport News is on.

megan
26th Aug 2016, 03:29
No such thing as doing dumb things. One is merely exploring possibilities. Some work, some don't. Regard mistakes as learning experiences. ;) :p