First names

[tu chan go]

Over the past couple of weeks, there has been little activity in my job so I thought it might be an interesting exercise to go through my logbooks and list everyone I've flown with and try to remember their first names.

Over a 27 year fast-jet career in the RAF followed by 9 years where I am now, I have flown with over 840 different people. Maybe its a sign of old age arriving but I can't remember all their first names!!

Does anyone else have the same problem?:p

[Cows getting bigger]

No, but I do smell of wee. :)

[longer ron]

I never remember anyones Proper name - but I usually remember any nickname and normally am good at faces - which helps to avoid the to$$ers :)

[Biggus]

Humans evolved to live in small nomadic bands or tribes, I believe there have been studies which show most of us have brains which can't remember more than 60-80 odd other people.

[Pontius Navigator]

I was able to identify about 90% from a sqn photo 48 years previous and it wasn't that clear a photo.

[Courtney Mil]

I don't have any problems remembering, er, ooh look, a squirrel!

Nicknames yes. It's only later that you realise you never knew the actual real names of most of them! I answered the crew room phone at Brawdy one afternoon.

Person: "Hello, can I speak to Flt Lt XXXXX, please."

Me: "Bottle? I'll see, hang on."

Person: "His name is not Bottle."

Me: "Oh, yeah, I mean Sid."

Person: "I'm his mother and is name is YYYY!"

Me: "Really? I never knew that. Hahahaha, wait till I tell the guys. I'll find him for you."

Phone: "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"





Tu Chan Go, how long did it take you work out that you'd flown with 840 people?

[Danny42C]

tu chan go,

It's your age, duckie. Comes to all of us in time. Me, I can remember names, fine. And I can remember faces, too.

System goes into spasm when I try to attach the name to a face ! :confused:

Danny.

[Tankertrashnav]

We had two flight lieutenants called Miller on our squadron. One day one of their wives rang the crewroom and asked to speak to Flight Lieutenant Miller. On being asked which one she meant she replied "Oh, Dusty Miller please".

:ugh:

Can't remember either of their first names!

[Union Jack]

Can't remember either of their first names! - TTN

For some reason TTN's post reminded me of a First Lieutenant I had who was hobnobbing with an Army wife whilst her husband was on temporary duty elsewhere. At a subsequent cocktail party, which husband and wife attended on board following his return, wife was introduced to her husband as Mrs First Lieutenant.......:eek:

And yes, I remember all the first names and surnames concerned!:)

Jack

[Haraka]

We had a cracker in RAFG many years ago when a Wg Cdr ( IIRC) told his wife that he had been posted to, regrettably, an unaccompanied tour in Rheindahlen.
However, as far as RAFG was concerned he was, as was routine, accompanied.
Said officer then got the allocated quarter, in to which he subsequently installed his girlfriend.
He almost got away with it until, near the end of his tour, he got nailed with a "wives will attend" function. He had to attend "mit frau"

Unfortunately for him a certain Group Captain's wife was also in attendance, who just happened to be a bosom buddy of the real Mrs Wg Cdr.....

Oh, what fun followed!

[ShotOne]

First Names?? ..reminds me of my first ever contact with RAF flying training -at 662 gliding school, Condor; the OC introduced himself, explaining the school was run on first name terms, followed up with "My first name is "sir"..

[Onceapilot]

So, is this a flight-deck, min crew or total crew thing?

OAP

[dagenham]

i assumed my first name was automatically changed to you there

[2 TWU]

First tourist arrives on his Lightning Sqn. During the arrival chat, the Boss asks his name---'Adrian' was the reply. Boss----'I'm not having an Adrian on my Sqn, we'll call you Harry'---it stuck throughout the years.

Bunch of people lined up on the shores of the lake by North Luffenham about to embark on a course to upgrade their windsurfing qualifications. The instructor was an enthusiastic young Cpl who started off,

'This is an informal course, lets just use first names, mines Dave, lets all say who we are'

Goes down the line getting the names until he arrives at a gentleman possibly somewhat older, 'OK what's your name'--------'Sir Roger'

[Vasco Sodcat]

I was sat in the Boss's office (where the Welfare phone resided) on a certain S Hemisphere multi-engine detached Flight. Phone rang, VS answered and heard a female voice ask for "FS Wxyz".


VS turns away from phone (slightly), and shouts loudly:


"Oi Shagger, phone call".


Only later did I learn to my relief that Mrs Wxyz was already well aware of his nickname. :O

[MPN11]

We had two flight lieutenants called Miller on our squadron. One day one of their wives rang the crewroom and asked to speak to Flight Lieutenant Miller. On being asked which one she meant she replied "Oh, Dusty Miller please".
We had 2 Flt Lts called Grant. They were often referred to as "Grant Blanc" and "Grant Noir" to differentiate ... it was an obvious distinction, but probably not permitted these days.

[27mm]

On one Sqn I was on we had Skull, Navbag, Slaphead, Huffy, Spit and Wiggy, to name a few....

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

29 had nine Johns at one point. They had namebadges made up with John 1 through John 9.

[Managed Descent]

Unit I served in a long time ago had 2 called Keen. Known as Extra and Notso.

[FAStoat]

Following a stint in an excellent Freight Airline,a certain Ex Truckie and Training Captain,as well as Ex Laker and others in the Magestic DC10,christened two chappies from the Foreign Parts,"Spear Chucker One" and "Spear Chucker Two".These two appeared regularly as such on the Crew Room Notice Board,and Crew Roster sheets,and responded to them cheerfully in Crew Room Banter.Happy days,and both seem to thrive on it!!!!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Spear Chucker One" and "Spear Chucker Two"

Would they be Welsh, then?

I recall reading in the Army magazine some years ago (yes, I was that bored) that to commemorate Rorke's Drift, the Royal Welch Fusiliers had been on a trip to Seth Efrika and played sports against a Zulu Regiment. The Zulus won almost everything - cricket, soccer, rugby...the only event the Welsh won was spear throwing!!

[RHKAAF]

My first night in the Officers' Mess at Laarbruch and a nice lady said she would introduce me to a tall man at the bar. She introduced him as "Mike " so I said " Hello Mike, what's your job ? " " Station Commander " he replied. A good Knight by the way.

[Dougie M]

I would bet that he still remembers your first name too!

[Danny42C]

Once had a Wg.Cdr. called "Ramus". His unfeeling officers called him "Igno" (but not in his hearing !) He was a nice chap.

[The Oberon]

We had a Sikh Cpl. engine fitter at Scampton known as turbine by everyone from OC Eng. down.

[Wensleydale]

The executive command for launching a flame float from a Shackleton was "Mark Mark". Hear that on the intercom and two floats were dropped through the hole in the rear fuselage floor as soon as possible! Anyone with that name was renamed for the tour!

[smujsmith]

I well remember a fellow rigger on second line at Cranwell (JPs) being known as "Punkah Wallah" ! It owed nothing to his obvious "brush of the tarbrush", but to the fact that he had seriously cocked up the replacement of the "Punkah louvre" on the pilots side during servicing. I've no doubt that many, seeing the man and hearing the moniker might suspect racist innuendo, not so, simply extracting the urine for a job badly done.

Smudge:ok:

[HamishDylan]

At Catterick, many many moons ago there were two stewards in the OM called Dawn. For obvious (but non PC reasons) one was known as Dawn and the other was known as Zulu Dawn... no offence seemed to be taken:D

[O-P]

There is a famous story, well famous in the AD world...OK it's not that famous, that at one particular pilots wedding, the Vicar got to the bit...


"Do you Catherine take Steven to be your(might have been the other way round) lawfully wedded husband"


At which point, there was a not so hushed chorus, from the Sqn mates in the cheap seats of, "Who the F*#K is Steven. Oh, he means Sxxx"

[DirtyProp]

I only remember the names of pretty ladies (and more, sometimes :E).
Am I getting senile?

[Hydromet]

A new civilian appointee came into our office on his first day, wearing walk shorts, long socks and mirror sunglasses. One of the blokes said "F@# me, it's Joe Cool", and Joe cool it was from that day forth. Thirty years later, when he retired, there were people there who believed that was his name.

[Janda]

I can remember most of the names of those on my first Nimrod squadron back in the early 70's when I was a very young AEOp. They were mostly Sir!

[bakseetblatherer]

I've had instructors and Flt Cdrs etc ask me what my real first name was, cos they had to write XYZ report. Nicknames much more important, my wife (of 20+ years) still calls me Floss. I think she knows my real name...

Which is better than an old XO who's wife (along with everyone else) called him Fugly :)

[DGAC]

Had a guy with downgraded medical who moved from FJ to Truckie. He was once heard to say in the crewroom "I can't cope with all these first names; on my last squadron it was eithe "Shag" or "Horse"!!

[NutLoose]

We had three Marks, Mark one, Mark two, and Mark three

[Hempy]

Slightly off topic, but I once knew the worlds oldest Flight Lieutenant, whose name badge and everything else said 'FLTLT Gramps'. I always thought it was a p1ss-take, it was only years later that I learned that it was his actual name!

p.s welcome back Nutty :ok:

[Courtney Mil]

Great to see you back, Nutty! Very happy that you survived!!! You take care now and no overdoing it on the cap com.

[NutLoose]

Thanks guys,

Still work in progress, home at the moment, but stents to go in other vessel in 6-8 weeks, and that ones blocked, main one causing the angina has been triple stented, other one is 40-50% but is below their 70% baseline for re plumbing.

[BEagle]

One of our navs at Brize was of Asian descent - he thought the nickname "Chartwallah" was hilarious. Which was politer than 'De Black Ron' as some termed him - which had led to a Wg Cdr from Group once ringing up asking to speak to a Flt Lt 'du Blaqueronne'!

One day the phone went in the crewroom - it was some Fighter Controller lass who wanted to know when sunrise would be at the Taj Mahal on some specific date when her parents would be visiting. The chap who took the call went to look for Chartwallah, who launched into an hilarious Peter Sellers style accent "Ah, good lady, I am looking in my books, indeed to goodness...." which he assured her were from his days at the University of Bombay. She smelt a rat and started giggling, but good old Chartwallah kept it up..."Now, this is indeed most serious research I am doing...". He gave her the answer and hung up, to see the whole crewroom doubled up in hysterics! As was he.

[Wander00]

Nutty, great to see you back - take care of yourself.


I am off to the Reunion weekend at the Towers in the morning - 50th year since slow marching up the steps - will see lots of guys I have not seen that day or before - will have trouble with surnames, let alone first names. Should be a good weekend though. Now what is my name?

[Basil]

We had two squadron commanders on the same station, both Wg Cdr Price.
One was markedly more diminutive than the other so, naturally, they became known as Full Price and Half price :)

[LOMCEVAK]

Courtney, I read your post on Bottle/Sid with a strong Brummy accent!

I was once on a two-seat squadron where we had 8 Daves. We decided to launch an all Dave 4-ship but the plan seemed doomed to failure as 5 of them were navs! However, an honorary 'Dave'pilot was appointed for the day to make it happen. Over the same period we had 3 consecutive SENGOs called Dave also.

On the same squadron we had one gentleman who was half far-eastern in origin and had the looks of someone from that part of the world. This was the time when the 'Pink Panther' films were very popular so, not surprisingly, he acquired the nickname 'Cato'. If someone 'phoned the squadron and asked to speak to Flt Lt XXXXX, the standard reply was 'Hold on, I'll just check to see if he is hiding in the fridge'! And yes, he was a great karate exponent also.

[Danny42C]

I sometimes think it might be a good idea if we had a Thread on the subject of: "Chaps we have known in the RAF who had the strangest origin".

My entry would be Freddie Joerin, a Swiss Air Gunner, my one-time Boss (French-Swiss, and naturalised British, of course). Nicer chap never lived.

Anybody cap that ?

Danny42C.

[Haraka]

Many moons ago in MoD there were 2 engineers sharing an office. A Squadon Leader and a Flight Lieutenant. Their names were on the door with , naturally the more senior uppermost:


SQN. LDR. HILL
FLT. LT. UNDERHILL

[sitigeltfel]

Once upon a time, at RAF Leuchars, there were three Stephanies.

A.K.A, Big Steph, Little Steph and Pretty Steph! :ooh:

[FAStoat]

Surprised no one has yet mentioned the "Melon Man",as the nom de plume a certain Harry was given ,and it still stuck in Orion and the short lived MD80 Outfit!!Yet he managed TPS with a certain style!!

[ACW599]

VGS personnnel of a certain age may remember the three individuals known as Winker, W*nker and Wonker at ACCGS...

[wub]

At an RAFGSA club in deepest Wiltshire there were twin brothers, both bald, who were known as 'The Stereophonic Chrome Dome'

[Pontius Navigator]

One course, my first post-grad, we were all asked our first names, a novelty after school and NAv school.

It came to an older and bolder Flt Lt Hole - "A**e"

He didn't want to be there and did his best to fail. His final test, a Viva, lasted 7 1/2 hours. He passed. He was posted to Valiants. They were grounded.

[Danny42C]

sitigeltfrei,

Your #45 - at the ATC school at Shawbury in the '60s, we had thee girl stoods who always went round together in tight formation. We called them "Pip, Squeak and Bobtail" ! (one was a stunner, but can't remember which one).

Danny.

PS: What is "siti-gelt ?" (new one on me !) D.

[1.3VStall]

There was a FS Gee on the Phantom OCU in the 1970s - known to all as "Effy".

And there was the Jaguar USAF exchange pilot at Colt who, in his first week on the squadron, said in the crewroom "listen guys, I want to be frank with you". He was known as Frank for the rest of his tour

[DGAC]

Then in the RCAF there was a Dave Grainger, known to one and all as "Grave Danger"!

[smujsmith]

I remember a young lady on the Flight Line at Lyneham, circa 1988, known as spanner (one look and your nuts turned) she was a very good looking young lady :eek:

Smudge :ok:

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The first new pilot posted in, one and a half years after squadron stand-up, was preceded by his surname, but no first name. This being 'Blackadder' era, his Ops Board strips were made up as 'Bob'.

He is still 'Bob' to this day.

[diginagain]

PS: What is "siti-gelt ?" (new one on me !) D.sitigeltfel is leftlegitis backwards.

[ShyTorque]

My wife has two friends named Sally.

To differentiate between them I refer to them as "Pally Sally" and "Doolally Sally".

There used to be two Janets in our village. They were known as "Pretty Janet" and "Janet".

[smujsmith]

At Four Counties RAFGSA Syerston in the late 80s, one of our members was christened "Cod Eyes" by our CFI, this due to the coke bottle bottom glasses he wore, and the impression they gave of very large eyes on the side of his head. Despite that, he was a more than competent pilot, who performed well in competitive gliding. If you read this Cod, good on you mate !!!

Smudge

[O-P]

F3WMB,


If we're thinking of the same person, he is now known, by the name his mother gave him (father unknown). Which, is a well deserved, "C#nt".


I have never met a more slimy, backstabbing, self-serving tosser in my life.


Just my opinion...and that of air defenders everywhere!

[Danny42C]

diginagain,

"sitigeltfel is leftlegitis backwards". YLSNED ! Does this refer to the affliction commonly suffered by Meteor pilots after an asymmetric session, or to those of us in the left-footed persuasion ?

Danny.

[Old-Duffer]

I say O-P,

Can I take it that you don't like the cove?

O-D

PS In the 1990s redundancy rounds, there was said to be one officer for whom 34 redundancy request forms were submitted - all in different hand writing.

[Megaton]

PRO at Scampton was, for a while, a Reservist by the name of Howard Leader. At the time, he was a Flt Lt, but I understand he was promoted to become Sqn Ldr Leader. Or just Sqn Leader...

[Pontius Navigator]

Then there was SAC Officer on a Leuchars Sqn.

Plenty of Sarjeants around too or the hopeful Marshall. I wonder if there was ever an Air Marshal Marshall?

Shame that politician wasn't an engineer on a boat.

[Old-Duffer]

In Hong Kong circa 1967/8 was an Army officer called Major Eric Sergeant. His post was changed and became a Warrant Officer's appointment.

My comment that: 'Major Sergeant was now doing a Sergeant Major's job' went down like a lead balloon with said officer.

I recall a chap called Flight Lieutenant Flight and a chap lost in a Shackleton off Kinloss whose given christian name was Major but whose rank was Sergeant.

O-D

[Chugalug2]

Ta*f Jo*n, the renowned but terse '60's Hastings OCU QFI, of Welsh extraction (hope that hasn't blown the DPA!), had just completed a check-ride with a Co-Pilot student. They entered the debriefing room and Ta*f sat down behind the desk, busying himself with the paperwork. He had hardly started though when he looked up at his young protégé still standing nervously in front of him.
"Tell me, what's your name?"
"Smith, Sir"
"No, no, I mean your first name, what did your mummy call you?"
"William, Sir"
"Well William, you're f***ing chopped!"

[Big Pistons Forever]

other one is 40-50% but is below their 70% baseline for re plumbing.

With the way things are going in Medicine these days, I am surprised they just didn't paste an orange sticker on your chest and tell you that you were released serviceable. :rolleyes:

Good luck with your recovery :ok:

[27mm]

I recall a Flt Lt Commander at Cott and a Flt Lt Major at Vy. IIRC, the latter was promoted and became Sqn Ldr Major, which is the same thing 'innit.....

[goudie]

At Bassingbourn in the early 60's we had a Sqd/Ldr. Wahaftig
as OC ASF. He flew with the Polish Wing in WW2 and often did air tests after a servicing.
He was generally referred to as 'Avtag'. Top bloke!

[ExAdvert]

On Scotland's Finest UAS at RAF Leuchars we had an Officer Cadet Leuchars, often abbreviated to "OC Leuchars".

Caused chaos on several occasions, not least on the seating plan for Dining In Nights.......

[ericferret]

Seeing mothers mentioned in one or two posts reminds me of meeting the parents of Ashley Pare ex Royal Marines pilot.

Speaking to Mum and trying to inject a little humour I said "So you are responsible".
To which she replied "Yes, we were hoping for a child" Great lady.

Ash still missed and remembered.

[diginagain]

Top bloke, Ash.

[DGAC]

There must have been a Desk Officer with a sense of humour, who dealt with the postings of JEngO's

Flt Lt Abbott was based with Flt Lt Costello
Flt LT Buick was an MT Officer
Flt Lts Howe and Green were sent to RAF Valley
and
Flt Lt Summers was posted to a statisticians post.

[Wander00]

Not military, but many years ago the Chief Public Health Officer in Norwich, and responsible for refuse collection, was a John Smellie

[langleybaston]

In my time I knew the following in the Met. Office:

Messrs.
Wind
Gale
Waterfall
Flood
Snow
Frost

I searched in vain for Fog, Mist, Haze, Sandstorm etc.

Collectively we were, of course, a Shower.

[Willard Whyte]

PRO at Scampton was, for a while, a Reservist by the name of Howard Leader. At the time, he was a Flt Lt, but I understand he was promoted to become Sqn Ldr Leader. Or just Sqn Leader...

At Lyneham in the late 90s there was a rafp Sgt. Sergeant - also renown for his (lack of) sense of humour.

In the same era there was a Flt Lt Tennant.

There was a Flt Lt Leader but not sure if he got promoted and whether he made it back to Lyneham in that rank.

[ShyTorque]

In my time I knew the following in the Met. Office:

Messrs.
Wind
Gale
Waterfall
Flood
Snow
Frost

I recall an I.C. Gale signing the met reports at Odiham!

[DON T]

St Athan circa 1979, ground electrician trainee called Deacy. I couldn't resist asking the parade who was AC Deacy. Give him his due, he did admit it and he did become an electrician who knew what AcDc was.:E

[Audax]

Mid 60s at Fawlty Towers, there was a Flt Sgt Flight, SNCO i/c D Sqn

[Old-Duffer]

High Wycombe had a civilian hair dresser (barber) called Trimmings

O-D

[Swil]

How about the QFI at Valley whose detachment name tag read "Harry the Pilot"

An anagram of his real name.

[FAStoat]

Then there were all the "Blacks".Black Mac,Black Humphrey,Black Pete,,and many many more etc!!!!!!!!!!!!.My God, whatever happened to all those???Brings tears to my eyes trying to remember their various escapades,and crew room banter!??

[teeteringhead]

At one time when one was serving at Shawbury - mid-80s maybe? - we had officers on the Station by the names:

Goode, Toogood, Best & Perfect

[2Planks]

27mm - you missed a few off your rogues gallery on page 1: Elvis, Possum, Goat, Vidal and Cocky (RIP).


Happy Days!

[27mm]

2Planks, you're right; I also missed PB (RIP). Little grey cells going....

[OldAgeandTreachery]

Two from my time at ISK. A Flight Line Mechanic nicknamed "Throm". Short for thrombosis - medical definition: A slow moving clot.
An engine man,not the sharpest tool in the box, first name Stu, Crew room name - Pid.

[Willard Whyte]

Pilot on 47 was given the handle 'Gimlet' (a small boring tool).

[Ogre]

On a slightly different tangent, we had a JT Bond.

Last three - 007

[radar101]

My first sqn cdr nicknamed "flymo" as he used to hover over us leaving little piles of cr*p everywhere.

[MPN11]

We had an over-excited OC Ops who we christened "Luke Ceilingwalker", but I don't think the name got used outside ATC.

However, that's slightly off-topic.

[Dougie M]

Years ago there was a Stn Cdr in Masirah with a speech impediment. When he used the tannoy his broadcast sounded like "This is the Cleo", after which he became known as Cleo. There was an open competition on the station to name the newly constructed street system so the suggestion was put forward that the road to the Officers' Mess should be Cleo Lane

[Aerials]

At 2SofTT years ago there was a particularly dense student by the surname of Plank. Someone at Innsworth must've had a funny moment and given Plank a Service Number where the last 3 - no, last 4 were..................

0000!

[27mm]

22 Course, 1 FTS Linton, had a Plt Off Head, first name Richard...

[DGAC]

Wildenrath had a supply officer surname HUNT...forename Mike!!

[Pontius Navigator]

As said before, don't parents think, or perhaps they didn't love him.

[ACW599]

>As said before, don't parents think, or perhaps they didn't love him.<

A delightful music student I once knew had the rather unfortunate surname of Titty. Even more unfortunately, her parents had seen fit to christen her Ophelia.