Dirty pilots

[N707ZS]

Whilst getting a bit of fresh air at the local drone I watched a Citation Mustang land and park up. Then the pilot got out and went for a pee out the back of the plane onto the airfield, after which he welcomed the customers on-board! Shake hands!!


I am quite sure the handling agent would have quickly taken him to the toilet if he had asked.


This isn't the first time I have seen this practice.

[733driver]

Yeah, I think we have all seen that. I even had a pax once who did the same (pee just behind the jet, which was equipped with a fully enclosed lavatory).

Sorry for the off topic but I have to ask: Why is it that so many English native speakers (Brits and Yanks alike) write "would of, should of, could of" Instead of would've, should've and could've or the long forms "would have, could have, should have". It hurts my eyes when I read it.

[Lucky8888]

Well, considering the 510 uses a garbage bag for the toilet, it isn't all that surprising. It was probably full.

[laardvark]

i had to work with a creature who spent most of the day with a hand down the front of his trousers . made sure i introduced him to all when the bosses were visiting

[Denim and leather]

I saw a flight attendant to drop a fork and put it back in the drawer without washing.

[Deep and fast]

Used to do an early newspaper run to jersey on a single pilot ops flight and always had a cheeky pee behind the bonded warehouse on arrival. Not that I didn't want a proper place but getting back airside after was almost impossible at crack of sparrow o clock on a weekend!

Security, you couldn't make it up!

[vancouv]

This subject of this thread is not what I was hoping for based on the title! But I guess that would have been in JB.

[N707ZS]

Afraid not vancouv. I think I must have different standards after reading the replies.

[Jackdaw]

...after which he welcomed the customers on-board! Shake hands!!
I think I'd catch even worse things from shaking hands with some of my customers (or bosses) ((

[Art Smass]

I can't imagine that there are too many people that can swear to have taken every pee or dump in the appropriate facilities since they were potty trained.

I don't see much difference between a pilot or long distance truck driver or even a motorist on a long journey - when ya gotta go ya gotta go. A question of necessity not necessarily standards.

Sure - if there are facilities on your aircraft then use them unless there is a very good reason not to - but surely if done discretely there are more important things to worry about in this world.

AS

[winkwink]

I agree. Touching a hand which might have a tiny bit of wee on it is nowhere near as bad as breathing the noxious fumes associated with biz jets, or eating the processed food snacks on board many aircraft.

[Jwscud]

Quite frankly I would also rather stand up to relieve myself than indulge in the contortions required to use the tarted up portaloo provided on Lears and Citations. I use it in flight (1 only) if required but would rather go to the FBO on landing. The grass, especially if it's dark, is not an unreasonable option.

[l8starter]

Jackdaw

"I think I'd catch even worse things from shaking hands with some of my customers (or bosses) (("

Now now, you know when it comes to the boss, the only thing people want to shake him by is his f@<£ing neck ))))) !

[Denim and leather]

I always have one pack of cleaning wipes in my luggage, even at the hotel, you may have some bad surprise.
Safe and "clean" flights.

[Romeo Tango]

Pee is fairly hygienic stuff. Anyway I'm sure the mustang pilot in the first post wiped his hands on his trousers before shaking anyone's hand.

[Booglebox]

Once at a small airfield in Florida, while doing circuits at night in a PA28 at a deserted airfield, I stopped on the taxiway, shut down the engine but left all the lights on, applied the parking brake, hopped out, and did a #1 onto the grass.
(didn't stray off the tarmac for fear of scorpions / snakes / crocodiles and other nasties)


Then there are empty water bottles one uses in the cruise...

[212man]

Touching a hand which might have a tiny bit of wee on it

Pee is fairly hygienic stuff

Surely by adulthood, one is capable of taking a pee without getting it on your hands? :confused:

Mind you, looking at the number of puddles under public urinals, maybe not.....:ugh:

[westhawk]

Mind you, looking at the number of puddles under public urinals, maybe not.

A sign observed in a FBO bathroom above the urinals:


To those with short stacks or low manifold pressure: Please taxi forward!
Thanks in advance from the custodial staff.

[winkwink]

I'm going for the worst case scenario. Of course, the likelihood is there will be no wee on his hand.

[NutLoose]

Hence why I never touch free peanuts etc on a bar, they have probably had dozens of unwashed hands through them.

[apruneuk]

A few years ago while parked up on a VIP stand at Glasgow, the Captain got out and relieved himself on the grass facing the taxiway which was just yards away. After a holiday charter jet had taxied past, an airport security vehicle sped up to our aircraft and a flustered driver got out and informed me that the crew had complained to the Tower that my Captain had offended them and their passengers and could I ask him to use either the aircraft or handling agent's toilets in future.
Needless to say, my Captain had gone inside to greet the passengers.....

[Tigger_Too]

Reminds me of the story of the well-spoken Army Officer who was visiting the Royal Air Force College at Cranwell. He found himself in the gents loo peeing alongside one of the resident Royal Air Force officers. As they finish, the Air Force officer shakes twice, zips himself up, and heads for the door:

WSAO: "Excuse me. At Sandhurst they teach us to wash our hands after we have been to the toilet."

RRAFO: "Well here at Cranwell we are taught not to piss on our hands!"

[winkwink]

Doubtless all the somewhat prissy commentators here would refuse any kind of sexual activity where a mouth might travel south of the navel; in consideration of the other party of course.

[Mr Oleo Strut]

We were enjoying a bevy or two in this great pub and enjoying the free nuts, crisps, olives and crackers when a chap at the bar told us he was an analytical chemist. He cheerfully went on to tell us about a testing programme he'd worked on which had identified loads of lavatory bacteria on free snacks, and also public toilet paper. We backed off the freebies, of course, but he didn't. Reminds me of a visit to a brand new sewage works where the guide offered us a glass of re-cycled water which had come in the previous day having passed through various towns on the way. There weren't any takers. Best not to know these things, perhaps.

[JammedStab]

Back in the day, Montreal had a domestic and international airport. The international one was not overly busy at times and made a good place to go on a 60 minute night cross country practice flight from my home airport with my instructor on a Cessna 150.

We did some touch and goes on one of the two 12,000 foot runways. My instructor had to go fairly bad during this time period so we requested a stop on the runway to "change seats". He went outside and made a puddle on the runway. Seeing as it was winter time, I suspect that it stayed there for a while.

There was also a captain at my old company who many years back had been reprimanded for relieving himself on the tailwheel as pax boarded on the aircraft.

[Oceanic815Pilot]

Funny. I had an FO once pee in the trash bag in the cockpit on final approach because he waited too long to go.

[Pace]

Not a pilot but a PAX and true

I was flying a citation 550 and we had one extremely large Pax who wanted to use the back toilet.

He could not fit through the doors to properly enter the toilet but decided he could pee into it from the entrance.

That would mean dropping his trousers so we and the other PAX where asked not to look.

All was fine but stretching to get closer to the toilet he got wedged between the doors and I mean wedged.

No manner of trying to extricate himself worked and finally he gave up and called for assistance.

turning around the sight I got was jaw dropping followed by fits of laughter not just from me but the rest of the PAX who were all by now looking
talk about mooning this was a very full moon :mad: ;) Not only had he dropped his trousers but his pants were round his knees

Had we not got him out I don't know what radio call I would have made as landing with a PAX unbelted in that position sounded very hazardous
Oh well couldn't find it in the emergency checklist and PAX stuck in Loo doors didn't flash up on the annunciator panel

Pace

[dirkdj]

Couldn't you have played with the pressurization controls?

[Pace]

Emergency pressure dump may have popped him out :ok: