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View Full Version : Its official - I want to marry Kate Upton


Natstrackalpha
10th Mar 2015, 13:19
Does anyone have her phone number please, so as I can propose to her?

P.S. You are all invited to the wedding.

MagnusP
10th Mar 2015, 13:21
Despite his absence, I suspect Slasher has claimed dibs on her. ;)

rgbrock1
10th Mar 2015, 13:23
Kate is my sister, so how can I help you? :}:E

You do mean this Kate Upton I'll assume? :}

http://www.flameville.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Kate-Upton-2.jpg

Tankertrashnav
10th Mar 2015, 13:41
Not being familiar with the young lady I checked her out online and discover that she is a "swimsuit model".

I feel bound to advise her that that is a most unsuitable garment for swimming ;)

SpringHeeledJack
10th Mar 2015, 15:34
That is the 'swimwear' that Italian ladies are won't to wear whilst posing on the beach in full make-up and jewellery…..I find Ms Upton a refreshing change from the really thin mahdells, who look great in clothing, but are lacking in the bit of meat on the bones department.


SHJ

dazdaz1
10th Mar 2015, 15:48
It must be a challenge shaving with that mole close to her lip. You want her number? One can leave a message (UK) here 0808 808 4994 :ok:

rgbrock1
10th Mar 2015, 15:55
And here's the lovely Kate Upton training in a zero gravity environment for a possible trip to space. (For some reason, however, her boobs seem to defy gravity. I wonder why?)

http://i.space.com/images/i/000/036/949/i02/kate-upton-si-swimsuit-issue-zero-g.jpg?1392741629

ORAC
10th Mar 2015, 16:04
Admit it, it's her eyes that hooked you, right?

http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2014/06/Screen-Shot-2014-06-11-at-9.30.41-AM.png

goudie
10th Mar 2015, 16:35
It would seem that a certain Justin Verlander has beaten us all to it.:(

meadowrun
10th Mar 2015, 17:01
Current assignment.


http://www.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Kate-Upton-Busty-In-New-Game-Of-War-Fire-Age-Trailer-With-Bounce-Gif-01-760x570.jpg

Solid Rust Twotter
10th Mar 2015, 17:07
Big blonde healthy girl in an armour plated bra. I think I just ruined these trousers.:ooh:

If she'd been wearing a horned helmet you could scrape me off the ceiling and bury the remains in a small tea caddy.

obgraham
10th Mar 2015, 17:28
Well you know the old saying: "For every spectacularly beautiful woman there is a guy, somewhere, who's tired of putting up with her sh!t."

I'll stick to the more ordinary types, thanks!

Lon More
10th Mar 2015, 18:17
Slasher would have approved

Lonewolf_50
10th Mar 2015, 18:19
Well you know the old saying: "For every spectacularly beautiful woman there is a guy, somewhere, who's tired of putting up with her sh!t."

I'll stick to the more ordinary types, thanks!
I'd be willing to undertake at least a probationary period with her, just to see if your axiom is correct or not. :E
It's for science, of course!

Solid Rust Twotter
10th Mar 2015, 18:21
A noble sacrifice, Mr Wolf...:}

LookingForAJob
10th Mar 2015, 22:12
Sorry - I'm obviously in the minority, but I really cannot see the attraction.

You'll understand then, that although your invitation is very kind I will not come to the nuptials, but I wish you both a long and happy future together. Or maybe that should be the three of you.....

Lonewolf_50
10th Mar 2015, 22:20
Sorry - I'm obviously in the minority, but I really cannot see the attraction.
I have heard Rumor* that natstrackalpha is a handsome fella with a substantial bankroll, so Kate would of course be attracted if Mr Verlander gets cold feet.

* = the R in PPRuNe makes allowances for all sorts of things, true and otherwise. :8:}

racedo
11th Mar 2015, 00:34
Admit it, it's her eyes that hooked you, right?

http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2014/06/Screen-Shot-2014-06-11-at-9.30.41-AM.png

So Kate I get the feeling you clearly pleased to see me :E

Loose rivets
11th Mar 2015, 01:51
"I'd just be getting off to sleep, and there, scrabbling at the window would be . . ."

"Greta Garbo?"

"No, bloody Kate Upton."


.
.
.
.
Apologies to Dud and Pete.

Fantome
12th Mar 2015, 22:15
arrgh mate . . . . that has to be cue for the best laugh in a long time

RIP . . . two of the most brilliant wits, ever, to have trodden the boards of the English speaking world

(incl tho' R Barker and M Feldman)

dazdaz1
13th Mar 2015, 16:03
Loose.... ""I'd just be getting off to sleep, and there, scrabbling at the window would be . . ."

"Greta Garbo?"

Same happened to me, after letting her in all she wanted to talk about was Marilyn Monroe and lobsters. Most strange.

Lonewolf_50
13th Mar 2015, 16:08
At least she wasn't talking about having crabs. :}

West Coast
13th Mar 2015, 16:08
Kate...meh, I've had better

dazdaz1
13th Mar 2015, 16:21
Lonewolf 50

"At least she wasn't talking about having crabs. :}"

Report to your county jail tomorrow. Your term of imprisonment is six months without parole for posting naff replies.;)

Judge Judy.

Mr Optimistic
13th Mar 2015, 16:22
Is it me, or is she showing signs of running to fat? PS: I have unrealistically high standards.

Natstrackalpha
15th Mar 2015, 13:30
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcricI2H4dE

Natstrackalpha
20th Mar 2015, 13:56
"I have heard Rumor* that natstrackalpha is a handsome fella with a substantial bankroll, so Kate would of course be attracted if Mr Verlander gets cold feet."


Lonewolf: Thank you for that very true statement - I had preferred that she be attracted by my warmth and unconditional love (well, it HAS to be unconditional - I mean, look at her and look at me!) rather than my banging bank account and amazing good looks.

You should start up a global PR company, you are the best!:)

Lonewolf_50
20th Mar 2015, 18:45
It would help if Ms Upton were our spokesmodel.
Hmm, how shall we name this PR company?

The Natz? (A reference to "the Nazz" per David Bowie or Lord Buckley)

Possible company names

UpNatz
UpNazz
NatsNazz
Up Your Nazz
KateNazz (Riff on Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games)

Natstrackalpha
21st Mar 2015, 11:52
Triple B - Big Bold and Beautiful

or

Double B PR Company Big and Beautiful

RudeBrood PR

Youtubs

Lone Wolfey - in order to align your experience with the company objectives and refine your protocol methods - your first posting will be in the internal and overseas communications department.

(The fact he has not married her and the fact that she is not pregnant is a Sacrilege ~ she was created to produce a very large family)

West Coast

"Kate...meh, I've had better"

You`ve had better?!?! How can you have had better?!?! It does not GET any better than that:/ - `had better . . . ` yeh right.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
25th Apr 2015, 01:57
And where will you find Kate?.....

Watching Hockey in Canada!

Kate Upton, William H Macy cheer Canucks to victory - British Columbia - CBC News (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/kate-upton-william-h-macy-cheer-canucks-to-victory-1.3048376)

DirtyProp
25th Apr 2015, 08:11
Not being familiar with the young lady I checked her out online and discover that she is a "swimsuit model".

I feel bound to advise her that that is a most unsuitable garment for swimming ;)
Swimsuits are meant to be taken off or moved out of the way in the least amount of time, with the least amount of hassle.
They are not really meant for swimming.
:E

AtomKraft
25th Apr 2015, 08:44
I think the lobsters were up the arse of Jane Mansfield, if I remember correctly.

Worst job I ever 'ad.

It's important to get the details correct....

racedo
25th Apr 2015, 12:56
I think the lobsters were up the arse of JaYne Mansfield, if I remember correctly.



Jayne's daughter is Mariska Hargitay Law and Order.

Loose rivets
25th Apr 2015, 15:33
I seem to have become fixated on Jodie Kidd. Natural I suppose.

She's so big - in the loveliest way - that she made an XK120 look like a toy car. But then I saw her sister. Oh dear. Shouldn't be allowed. Marchioness? I wouldn't care if she was a Martian . . . well, unless she was little and green.

Meh, but even then . . .

bartonflyer
25th Apr 2015, 16:13
I still have the hots for Nicola Sturgeon, when on tv she seems to struggle walking in hi heels. My dream would be to give her a foot massage.

Very, very sexy lady.

Ps. I'm not gay.

What - this Nicola Sturgeon?

Private Eye Lookalikes (http://www.private-eye.co.uk/lookalikes)

dazdaz1
25th Apr 2015, 16:23
YES!!!!!! Sexy lady, like Maggie men feel attracted to a woman who has power.

BWSBoy6
25th Apr 2015, 17:01
Still think Greg Feith is hotter!!! :}:}:}

He doesn't need to take his clothes off to impress me!

http://www.aviationtoday.com/sats/feith/

Mrs BwsBoy

N707ZS
25th Apr 2015, 17:24
Sorry Nicola Sturgeon somehow reminds me of Mary Hen, wife of Rab C Nesbitt of TV fame.


Back to the main subject Kate would make a very nice addition to anyones log book!

RadarContactLost
3rd Jun 2015, 02:56
Kate Upton 'lubes up' Lily Aldridge before the CFDA Awards - Swim Daily - SI.com (http://www.si.com/swim-daily/2015/06/02/kate-upton-lily-aldridge-cfda-awards)


3.5 minutes of eye candy. :ok:

Carry0nLuggage
3rd Jun 2015, 10:29
For a moment I thought I'd logged into ARRSE - The Naafi Bar!