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sitigeltfel
13th Feb 2015, 12:04
One is not a real man apparently, unless he knows these everyday items...

1. His wedding anniversary date
2. Basic DIY
3. How to change a light bulb
4. How to tie up a tie
5. How to read a map
6. His partner's favourite drink
7. How to iron a shirt
8. How to change a tyre
9. How to wet shave correctly
10. The right amount of aftershave to use
11. How to change a fuse
12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine
13. How to put up a shelf
14. How to polish his shoes
15. How to give a confident handshake
16. How many inches are in a foot
17. When to accept defeat and apologise
18. Know the offside rule
19. The year England won the World Cup
20. How to do his own laundry
21. How to fix a bike puncture
22. How to jumpstart a car
23. How to parallel park
24. The difference between ale and lager
25. The best way to carve meat
26. His own height
27. How to drive in snow
28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral
29. How to introduce himself
30. His parents' address
31. What the football scores were at the weekend
32. How to light a BBQ
33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want
34. How to change oil
35. What the biggest recent football transfers are
36. How to build a fire
37. Which way is North
38. How to use the contents of the toolbox
39. How to tune in a telly
40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears
41. How to fix a toilet
42. How to put someone in a recovery position
43. His personal alcohol limits
44. Change a battery on a car
45. How to get a car unstuck
46. The words to the national anthem
47. How to change a nappy
48. How to perform CPR
49. How to put up a tent
50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League

How do you rate, and are there any other things one should be proficient at to be worthy of possession of the Y chromosome?

I'm sure the ladies present can turn their hand to many of them, but again, in my experience, they would probably feign ignorance in order to avoid damage to clothes, hair, nails etc. ;)

Of course, there will be the girly men who will take pride in being able to do none of them. You know the type, Celebs, Actors, Musicians, those who are expert with soft furnishings etc. :rolleyes:



Are you a real man? The top 50 things every chap should know - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11408971/Are-you-a-real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html)

Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Feb 2015, 12:08
I've got no chance. Haven't a clue about 18, 19, 31, 35, and 50. I'm pleased to say!

And it misses out 'How to fly an aeroplane' and 'How to drive and fire a steam locomotive'. :ok:

Fox3WheresMyBanana
13th Feb 2015, 12:09
The real list is:

1. How to fly fighters.






"...and everything else is rubbish"
Manfred Von Richthofen









...I thank you!

MagnusP
13th Feb 2015, 12:13
I fail on the same ones as SSD. I may trip up on 46 if I start with "O Flower of Scotland". :p

ORAC
13th Feb 2015, 12:35
The real list is: 1. How to fly fighters.

Can't remember the Sqn, but the line book entry is along the lines of.....

Sqn Ldr XX is standing beside mighty F4 at air show when little boy approaches and asks. "Mr, are you a fighter pilot?"

"Yes son", replies Sqn Ldr.

Little boy, looking suitably awed, replies solemnly, "when I grow up, I want to be a fighter pilot".

Sqn Ldr smiles benignly at boy and replies, "son, you can do one or the other - but not both"..........

Ancient Mariner
13th Feb 2015, 12:55
Check on all.....except, 18/19/31/35/47 and 50. All fotball releted, except one. Nappies:eek:
Per

panda-k-bear
13th Feb 2015, 13:01
45. How to get a car unstuck

Rather depends to what the car is stuck, no?

Worrals in the wilds
13th Feb 2015, 13:02
Says who? :confused::bored:
It all seems very complicated :uhoh:. For most of those, can't you either 1. hire an expert or 2. look it up as required?

It strikes me as being one of those media articles that preys on the reader's insecurities, best summarised as 'you're a useless moron, trust us, because we're the self-proclaimed experts :cool:' that then points the reader to a bunch of targeted advertisements. The women's press has been running this crap for years (you're fat, ugly, useless and worthless, trust us! Now buy these products to Better Yourself; the mainstay of women's magazines since at least the mid 1990s), so it's interesting to see the same line pushed at men.

Maybe they've saturated the female market and killed the goose that laid the golden egg, because even the most neurotic goose is now failing to listen to their 'you suck, buy this stuff' propaganda...time to target the ganders?? After all, there must be some men's fragrance, footy mags and barbeque sales up for grabs.

I'm standing by for their 'top things every woman should know' list. That should be interesting. I may provide feedback :E:ouch:.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
13th Feb 2015, 13:05
..and what would a journalist know about real men anyway?

rgbrock1
13th Feb 2015, 13:07
51. A Real Man wears, or wore, this at one time:

http://d2jxk7u2ol2fk7.cloudfront.net/image/thumb/large/ranger_tab_,multicam_427.jpg

:}:}:}

salad-dodger
13th Feb 2015, 13:08
I would suggest that most if not all of you who claim not to know the answer to 19 are liars. You may wish to show your dislike for football on every occasion you can, but that's just general knowledge.

S-D

AngioJet
13th Feb 2015, 13:11
So what would be the equivalent list for women I wonder?

Checkboard
13th Feb 2015, 13:12
Thoroughly recommended book - both funny and well-researched AND straight - talking. Should be given to every 15 year-50 year old man.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Q96MAX13L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg



http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/1875989285

Ancient Mariner
13th Feb 2015, 13:15
salad-dodger: I would suggest that most if not all of you who claim not to know the answer to 19 are liars. You may wish to show your dislike for football on every occasion you can, but that's just general knowledge.


Really, for a Norwegian? I think not.
Per

david1300
13th Feb 2015, 13:29
Well, my answers to 18, 19, 31, 35 & 50 is the same - who gives a sh!t :ok:

om15
13th Feb 2015, 13:31
47 and 49 look equally challenging and bound to result in embarrassing failure, number 10 looks rather odd, I can't think of anyone I know or work with that applies aftershave, didn't that go out in the sixties?
Number 1 tends to be a regular stumbling block I'm afraid.

charliegolf
13th Feb 2015, 13:38
The real list is:

1. How to fly fighters.






"...and everything else is rubbish"
Manfred Von Richthofen

And look where it got him! :ok:

CG

Checkboard
13th Feb 2015, 13:56
I would suggest that most if not all of you who claim not to know the answer to 19 are liars. You may wish to show your dislike for football on every occasion you can, but that's just general knowledge.
I don't know it. I'm a UK citizen, but Australian by birth. Could do the offside rule, but not any of the other football related things.

BillHicksRules
13th Feb 2015, 14:01
50 out of 50

RGB,

Real men do not need to brag. :E

Ancient Mariner
13th Feb 2015, 14:04
What about 52. Real men don't take orders.
The Royal Norwegian Navy never really liked me.
Per

rgbrock1
13th Feb 2015, 14:12
BHR:

Correct, real men need not brag. They merely present facts. :E:E:E

TomU
13th Feb 2015, 14:17
Quote: I would suggest that most if not all of you who claim not to know the answer to 19 are liars. You may wish to show your dislike for football on every occasion you can, but that's just general knowledge.
S-D: Unquote.

I really don't like being called a liar (although I may have been known to tell the odd porkie). I certainly don't have enough interest in football to bother to lie about it. Not only do I not know the year for 19, I would not even be able to guess at the decade.

ian16th
13th Feb 2015, 14:44
4. How to tie up a tie

How many sorts of tie? How many ways?

Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Feb 2015, 14:45
What TomU said. One of the reasons I hate the football industry is that its adherents seem to think the whole world shares their passion for watching overpaid louts kicking a ball around (so are lying about not knowing the answer to 19).

Some of us have a life.

BillHicksRules
13th Feb 2015, 15:13
RGB,

But only when asked.

And only in the bedroom.:E

rgbrock1
13th Feb 2015, 15:26
BHR:

Only in the bedroom? Of course! :ok:

Effluent Man
13th Feb 2015, 15:39
I take the general thrust about Q19. This is such a general knowledge sort of thing that you really have to take quite stringent evasive action to avoid knowing. It's abit like me not knowing about Come Dancing, I have to deliberately avoid it all.

I would query changing a car tyre too.It's a major and potentially dangerous operation involving specialist tools. Just go to a tyre fitter.

Checkboard
13th Feb 2015, 15:50
you really have to take quite stringent evasive action to avoid knowing.Not really. Whilst it has been mentioned in my presence, and I'm sure it has turned up on "Have I got news for you" or "QI" - I have so little interest in the subject that the date simply washes by and isn't retained.

It's like knowing the names of some celebrity's kids - probably mentioned in my presence, but not retained.

Jimmy Macintosh
13th Feb 2015, 16:03
Seems like the answer is the same for all of them.

Call someone...

:E

Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Feb 2015, 16:07
EM, it's 'tyre', not 'car tyre'. I always fix the punctures on my bicycle which of course involves removal and replacement of the tyre. Some wimps take them to the bike shop!

But car tyre - yes, difficult to do by hand, so it's the professionals every time. They have the required equipment to do it quickly and safely.

Football? For me it's like religion and domestic dogs - I just don't see the point.

handsfree
13th Feb 2015, 17:22
Q19 The year England won the World Cup
Answer: 2003. Jonny Wilkinson scored a drop kick in the last minute.

Effluent Man
13th Feb 2015, 17:32
SSD, The old spoon trick?

Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Feb 2015, 17:40
Nah EM. Spoons are too heavy to carry around on a bicycle, and they can 'nip' the inner tube on reassembly. I use a pair of lightweight but strong plastic tyre levers.

rgbrock1
13th Feb 2015, 18:20
SSD, like these?

http://www.scienceshareware.com/articles/byo-stand/tire-iron-for-BYO-generator-bike.jpg

Have a set of them in my seat bag at all times. :ok:

Tankertrashnav
13th Feb 2015, 18:22
Per - you may not remember the 1966 question, but I bet you can remember this one ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqZTP8-8wIs

Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Feb 2015, 19:22
SSD, like these?

http://www.scienceshareware.com/arti...rator-bike.jpg

Have a set of them in my seat bag at all times.

Exactly the ones!

Ancient Mariner
13th Feb 2015, 22:39
Tankerashnav:Per - you may not remember the 1966 question, but I bet you can remember this one
I do, indeed I do. Keeps popping up on the wireless from time to time. Can't remember the result, it is all about Bjørge Lillelien. Very proud of him, we are.:E
Pe

Pinky the pilot
14th Feb 2015, 00:53
Haven't a clue on 18, 19, 27, 31, 35, 46, 47 & 50. Nor do I give a ****!

I absolutely loathe football and 'Advance Australia Fair' sounds like a Funeral dirge!:yuk:

'Song of Australia.' Now you're talking!:ok:

Stanwell
14th Feb 2015, 01:33
Oh dear.
You guys fell right into it - like I nearly did.

That list was compiled by a woman. ("Researchers", be blowed!)

I was going to have some fun, picking that list apart, 'Thing' by 'Thing'.
Then, after a short while, the penny dropped.

Have a CAREFUL look at that list of "Things" again and you'll see what I mean.
I'll be taking questions later - after you've finished.

Windy Militant
14th Feb 2015, 12:54
I can't see "knows how to weld" can't be a proper bloke if you can't weld or use a gas axe!

Also a really real man can change a BSA bantam clutch with his bare hands, no unfortunately I can't and have the scars to prove it! :uhoh:

RGB if you a Ranger does that mean you know Yogi and Boo Boo! :p

SpannerInTheWerks
14th Feb 2015, 13:02
A mate of mine at work is starting 'Fifty Shades of Readers' Wives' on Facebook.

racedo
14th Feb 2015, 20:10
Went to B&Q yesterday as figured lets surprise SWMBO with the 50 variety of colours she wanted.

Dog enjoyed my nice steak as SWMBO really p******d off, I assumed 50 shades of Grey were the colours she wanted...........

obgraham
15th Feb 2015, 00:25
As regards that "offside" stuff: we are talking Hockey here, are we not?

Stanwell
15th Feb 2015, 03:22
obg,
She (the ex womens magazine journo) wouldn't know, I'm afraid.

Um... lifting...
15th Feb 2015, 13:46
51. Plucking fighter pilots and Rangers out of the soup they get themselves into so they can return to bore the barkeep later.

My father knows about after shave, but then he's 85.

I thought Rangers always carried a pink purse, except in the field, where the purse is in subdued earth tones.