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rgbrock1
30th Jan 2015, 14:12
According to numerous media outlets, a Delta pilot was locked out of the cockpit mid-flight between Minneapolis and Lost Wages, I mean Las Vegas.
According to this breaking news flash, the door had malfunctioned and the co-pilot single-handedly guided this veritable rocket onto the runway at LV.

What the media outlets don't want you to know is the Real Reason why the pilot was locked out of the cockpit. He ate way too many chimichangas last night, in a Mexican restaurant, causing him to pass copious amounts of fragrant gasses in said cockpit which saw the co-pilot take evasive action.

:}:}:}

superq7
30th Jan 2015, 14:16
Or maybe he'd eaten sprouts and drunk some Bass :eek:

rgbrock1
30th Jan 2015, 14:19
Oh good Lord, superq, not that. Sprouts are bad enough - they should be illegal - but Bass? (Bass is now made here in the U.S. For American consumption. Brought to you by the purveyors of all things fine beer aka Buttwiper. I mean Budweiser.)

joy ride
30th Jan 2015, 14:38
The famous Bass Red Triangle (once UK's oldest Trade Mark) in Burton-on-Trent has gone. The name of its owner, Coors now adorns the building. Sharps (of Doombar fame) has been bought by the same company. This saddens me.

Sharing a cockpit with severe flatulence would not be pleasant!

rgbrock1
30th Jan 2015, 14:45
Yes, I've heard that not only Bass but Sharps has also gone the way of Ruined Beer. We can all thank inBev for this. Whenever they get their hands on a brew, it's toast. (Sort of.)

I'm waiting for inBev to take over Spaten, Fransikaner and a few other German beers. (Doubtful that will ever happen thankfully) Should that happen I would definitely contemplate going postal. :ok:

PS: I used to drink Bass here in the States, before inBev got their nasty little mitts on it, and enjoyed it very much. Very similar to the Bass one used to find over yonder. Now? Tastes like Camel piss. Shame really.

joy ride
30th Jan 2015, 16:56
I used to like Bass too, equally good in UK and USA. Doombar has also gone down the pan. One good thing though is that Marstons has stayed good and its sales have gone right up. A bottle of Marstons Oyster Stout ready for this evening!

con-pilot
30th Jan 2015, 19:06
But, at least we were on the ground.

We landed someplace, can't remember where now, and after we parked I went out down the aft air-stair door, walked past the guard perimeter to a grassy area to have a cigarette. A few minutes later the guy that was co-pilot that week joined me to have a smoke as well. As we were standing there the guy playing as FE that week came out, did his en-route exterior walk around and went back up into the aircraft. Just a couple minutes later the FE came back down and hurried over to us.

"Hey Con, you got your cockpit door key on you?"

I checked all the pockets on my flight suite, no keys, "No, they must be in my jacket pocket in the cockpit." then we both look at the co-pilot.

"In my briefcase, in the cockpit."

Oops. So I look around and see the lead deputy, wave at him and he comes over, I ask him the same question, surely he will have his keys, nope, "No, they are in my briefcase that I put in the cockpit this morning when we left."

'Well hell, we're in for it now' I think. So all four of us go back into the aircraft and go to the cockpit door. I grab the door knob, like it had miraculously come unlocked, twist and turn it, no good.

I send the lead deputy to check the other back end crew members to see if any of them 'accidentally' had a cockpit door key on them or a pocket knife. Now let me tell you something about prisoners, especially the old cons, they have a sixth sense when it comes to something that is out of the ordinary. I hear this mummer coming from the back of me, I turn around and every set of eyeballs in the cabin are looking right back me, they're not friendly looking eyeballs either. Houston, we got a problem. Well I decided, time to do some of that command stuff I had been vested with.

I leaned over toward the forward cabin door and grab the PA handset, then standing in the middle of the aisle I key the hand set button. "As probably all of you have noticed, were having a bit of bother with the cockpit door," No sense lying to them, they could see what was going on, "now I know that every single one of you are innocent, it was some other guy or lady" as I nodded to the female prisoners "but, if anyone just happens to know how to B and E. Please let one of the deputies know, thank you."

Not a word, just vacant stares, then the head of a prisoner in the back pops up in the back and he yells, "Not me personally, but if you let me go, I'll go for help."

In an heart beat the whole cabin erupted in laughter. The lead deputy finally got the door open with a pocket knife and we continued the trip, but the prisoners kept chuckling all day. Months later I'd have prisoners calling to me when I would get on the aircraft, "Hey Cap, ya got your keys with you today?"

John Hill
30th Jan 2015, 19:13
Pffft! Happens in the best of families..

Pilot locked out of cockpit mid-air on Air New Zealand flight (http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/pilot-locked-out-of-cockpit-midair-on-air-new-zealand-flight/story-fnizu68q-1226979462303)

rgbrock1
30th Jan 2015, 19:15
Funny story, con. Thanks for sharing. :)

con-pilot
30th Jan 2015, 19:20
Funny story, con. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, true story. Not that I'm proud of all three of us were locked out of the cockpit and of the four of us that had keys, all left them in the cockpit.

But it worked out in the end, as happy prisoners are safe prisoners.

Mostly. :\

rgbrock1
30th Jan 2015, 19:22
con:

After reading your story the first thought which came to mind?

How many flight deck crew members does it take to open a cockpit door? :}:}

joy ride
30th Jan 2015, 20:21
Excellent read, con-pilot!

galaxy flyer
30th Jan 2015, 22:38
I was locked in the aft lav of a Global once, F/A got a bit panicky, F/O obviously was if no help other than a bit earned to use it also. Finally a butter knife was passed under the door and j disassembled the knob mechanism. Pax were thrilled!

Then, there was my loadmaster who poured a bucket of ice water over himself to cool off, not understanding how cold the floor was at altitude (C-5, underfloor heat had not yet cycled on). He froze to the floor screaming for someone upstairs to free him.

GF

G-CPTN
31st Jan 2015, 02:14
Delta Air Lines flight makes emergency landing 'after pilot is accidentally locked out of cockpit' - Mirror Online (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/delta-air-lines-flight-makes-5073699)

ExSp33db1rd
31st Jan 2015, 03:03
Shortly after the hijacking of three aircraft to Dawsons Field in Jordan by one Leila Khaled (?), one of our more "colourful" ex-WW II Captains announced that no one was going to hijack his bloody aircraft, and summoned the Ch/Steward and told him that the flight deck door was going to be locked - an unheard of event in those days - and would only be unlocked after there had been 3 rings on the cockpit call bell from the Galley.

Shortly after reaching top of climb the Captain complained that he hadn't yet been served his first coffee, lazy barstewards, he remarked, and the F/Eng. seeing the doorknob turning and the door shaking, went to unlock it. NO ! said HRH, 3 rings is what we said, they've go to learn.

This went on all night until the Captain went to the toilet, and quick as a flash the F/Eng. locked the door ! My mate who related this tale was the Navigator, and he said he was up on the sextant and saw the door knob turning, and the door shaking, and a bloodshot eye peering in through the little observation port at the top of the door, looking around. Better let him in, he said it's The Old Man. No, said the F/Eng. 3 rings is what he said.

Eventually there were 3 rings on the call bell and the F/Eng. unlocked the door. The Captain raged in like the bull he was, but before he could speak the F/Eng said - Good job you arranged that anti-hijack system Captain, some maniac has been trying to break in whilst you were out.

The Captain slumped down in his seat for awhile, and eventually said - Sorry chaps, we did make an arrangement, BUT AT THE SAME BLOODY TIME YOU KNEW IT WAS ME.

Happy days.

Flying Lawyer
31st Jan 2015, 11:19
one Leila Khaled (?)

That's a famous name from the past.

Then .....

https://bigbrosky.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/leila-khaled-hijacker-3.jpg


and now .....


https://plutopress.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/images7.jpg


(Edit)

If anyone is interested what goes through a hijacker's mind, why they did it etc, there was a very interesting interview of Leila Khaled in the October 2000 issue of 'Aviation Security International'.

Interview (http://www.avsec.com/interviews8.htm)

For our younger readers ...

Leila Khaled hijacked a TWA flight in 1969 and attempted to hijack an El Al flight in 1970 but was overpowered; the second hijacker was shot.

FL