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haughtney1
28th Dec 2014, 10:19
Given that we most likely have all "consumed" a reasonable amount over the festive period, it got me thinking of the various differences in Toilet (of the flushing variety) design out there in PPRune land.
I for one grew up with a wooden seat...a solid 2ish gallon flush, and of course emersed solids. When I sat on an American throne for the first time I was horrified to note the whirlpool effect..along with the little "dump shelf" :uhoh:
thoughts and opinions on other interesting design features?
Happy defecating! :8

tony draper
28th Dec 2014, 10:32
I believe this question was posed by Mr Slasher once, but it involved Vietnamese toilets , turds, water splash heights, terminal impact velocities and damp arses.
The kinetic energy the turds gained was proportional to the height they were released from, due to gravity.
The consistency and aerodynamic configurations of said turds also had to figure in our calculations.
I do not recall what conclusion was reached as to the perfect release height above water fot damp arse reduction.

Checkboard
28th Dec 2014, 10:36
German Toilets (http://asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm)

Weird German toilets. :sad:


Then there is the Asian, "face away from the hole" squat,
the Japanese/Korean "face the hole" squat,
the Mediterranean "used toilet paper bin" (because their ancient, 2" sewer pipes can't handle toilet paper - as opposed to the modern 4" system designed for paper), and
the trough of water and small plastic bucket (and the stretch and balance required to use it)
the bush camp "one person cat hole",
the bush camp "bag it and backpack it out" system
the bush camp A-frame slit trench,
the bush camp slit trench squat.



... bit of a traveller, me ;)

Tu.114
28th Dec 2014, 10:38
A damp arse is eliminated by the German style plateau: the dump is deposited on it instead of the water, where it then sits and waits for the flush.

Olfactory results vary and depend on yesterday´s lunch, but at least there is no nasty splash.

Loose rivets
28th Dec 2014, 10:39
Nice subject to get the day going. :p


My friend in Clacton had a wonderful restoration done of what was quite a modern home anyway. The loos obviously cost a lot of dosh. However, upon flushing, one needed to step back sharpish or one's trousies would be splashed. It wasn't the best flusher in the world, either.

In Texas I replaced both loos, and for my bathroom I finally found just what I needed. Like most American loos in cheap houses it only had 3" plumbing. The one I got had a water flow from the front which fired a powerful flush at the exit hole in the back. Of course, it washed the bowl as well with a slow flow that lasted another minute or so. It was so efficient I could hardly resist watching it perform. ;)

Shelves? In America? Never seen one outside Germany.

MReyn24050
28th Dec 2014, 11:05
German toilets. Way back in the mid 70s one of the guys I shared an Office with at HQ 1 Br Corps (BAOR) came storming back into the office after a visit to the loo, grabbed the phone and furiously dialed a number and asked "Am I speaking to the Barracks Maintenance Department?" ( not sure what their title was then). A young girl on the other end answered "Yes, how can we help?" to which my colleague informed her he wished to report a defect with the toilet in the Office Block. She then asked what the problem was and was told the flush was too strong. The poor lass could not understand what the problem was so B asked her if she wanted him to explain the problem in layman's terms to which she replied "If it will help". B then said when you pull operate the flush lever the resultant flush is so strong it scoops the s*** up and throws it out and up the door. As stated above the toilets in Germany have that ledge on which the cr** sits until flushed away. Unfortunately B was standing in front of the pan as the c*** was thrown out all up the back of his legs. He was not amused.

Solid Rust Twotter
28th Dec 2014, 11:07
The kinetic energy the turds gained was proportional to the height they were released from, due to gravity.


Not neglecting the gaseous propellant available under certain intestinal conditions which fires the sewer trout from the mudbox with enough energy to shatter porcelain. The humorous symphonic accompaniment is an added bonus.

Fareastdriver
28th Dec 2014, 11:12
The last dunnie I saw like that was at an abandoned gold mine in Belize. It was definately for use by the manager. It still had sheets made from old copies of The Times on a loop of string.

G-CPTN
28th Dec 2014, 11:17
There is some possibility of a study of the effect of varying diet (and the time taken for the change to pass through) - or is this just because I am living alone with time to spare?

Stanwell
28th Dec 2014, 12:12
Check,
You call yourself an expat Aussie?
You forgot the 'straining post', mate.

SRT
Your post cracked me up.
Cheers.

B Fraser
28th Dec 2014, 12:38
There is more to it than the release height, the perfect delivery is to produce until the leading end just touches the water whereupon the "nipsy" or "cigar cutter" does it's job. The result is akin to an otter slipping off the bank.

Poetry in motion !

4mastacker
28th Dec 2014, 13:05
A layer of bog paper placed in the bowl before the action takes place helps reduce the possibility of "a poor man's bidet"....allegedly.

IBMJunkman
28th Dec 2014, 13:10
Possibly everything we need to see:

Toilets of the World / The Toilet Guru (http://toilet-guru.com)

mixture
28th Dec 2014, 13:13
Well, of course no scientific discussion of this topic would be complete without reference to the Bristol Stool Form Scale, one of England's finest inventions...

Thanks to Mr Lewis & Mr Heaton and their research into "Stool form scale as a useful guide to intestinal transit time", the poor chaps sampled their way through the specimens from 66 volunteers !

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b4/Bristol_Stool_Chart.png
(Attribution: Re-illustration of the original version. Provided by "Kyle Thompson" on Wikipedia)

And of course....

W2gABYTmXos

onetrack
28th Dec 2014, 14:07
The finest "long drop" toilet I have ever constructed and used was during my gold mining days. An 80' (24.4M) disused mine shaft. No fear of any backsplash there.
Dad did drop a perfectly good claw hammer down the shaft when doing some minor repairs to the bog building - and yes, he made no attempt to recover it. :)

Stanwell
28th Dec 2014, 14:18
Well, gentlemen, (assuming there are no ladies on this thread) I'd like to welcome you all to this inaugural meeting of the Scatologists' Society.

After refreshments, we'll be distributing plastic bags into which I hope you'll be able to place a 'specimen' suitable for display in our museum.

(I'm sorry, I can't continue - I'm laughing too much.)

Loki
28th Dec 2014, 14:34
So what determines whether one obtains a floater or a sinker? Is it possible to obtain both types in one sitting?

funfly
28th Dec 2014, 14:52
Shelf type - Holland also.
This might seem a bit squiffy to us English but in some areas on the continent people like to observe the results of their exertions in order to obtain an opinion regarding the current state of their health - hence the shelf.

FF

funfly
28th Dec 2014, 14:54
I had a friend who, when a pilot on the royal flight, took part in the raffle of a Richard the Third extracted from the bog after a visit by a certain lady queen.

Stanwell
28th Dec 2014, 15:06
MD,
We're all so proud of you, mate. - Yer a legend !
(Ahem..)
.

probes
28th Dec 2014, 15:16
Well, gentlemen, (assuming there are no ladies on this thread)
and where was the warning: worse than the worst of boobs? :sad:

Stanwell
28th Dec 2014, 15:33
Oh, I'm sorry mate, I didn't realise you were there. (Big cheesy grin).

Hydromet
28th Dec 2014, 20:01
We once bought an old country school & teacher's house that once had dunnies like that in Mikedreamer's pic. A former student told us about the time when, during a fairly fierce wind, the teacher was using one when the wind blew over a nearby large tree, the roots of which brought the dunny, complete with teacher, up with them.

The old Sydney Water Board sewer gauging staff, aka the turd counters, used to speak in awed tones of the Balmain Special, which came through every morning ... 12" long, 2" in diameter, pointed at each end and lightly oiled all over.

Saintsman
28th Dec 2014, 20:08
I was in the market for a new downstairs loo recently. Not an easy job sourcing a new one unless you want one of the 'newer' designs. These days they seem designed to save water. So less flush equals smaller bowls, otherwise they don't clean properly.

Smaller bowls mean smaller seats (and there are a lot of strange square shapes too). But with smaller seats, there is no where for the dangly bits to dangle. Not only that, they are so uncomfortable, you can no longer finish reading a newspaper or the like.

We stuck with the old one.

Never seen one, but I've always been intrigued by these Japanese ones. The ones that give you a wash afterwards and finish with a blast of warm air. That would seem somewhat satisfying.

ricardian
28th Dec 2014, 20:12
The late Mrs R was a fount of knowledge on things medieval and it was from her that I learned that garderobes like the one in Basil's photograph were a weak spot in a castle's defences. Special squads of soldiers climbed the wall under the garderobe and overwhelmed the guards, these special squads received an extra sixpence a day for their messy duties.

SpringHeeledJack
28th Dec 2014, 21:36
The talking of Dunnies and Dunniemen, reminded me of Clive James recounting how his dunnyman became incased in a weeks worth of house poo when he slipped on a carelessly discarded roller-skate in front of their house whilst carrying out his duties :eek::yuk:

One used a toilet that hung out over a 1000m drop whilst overnighting in a mountain refuge whilst climbing the peaks. It was a typical little hut attached to two steel girders somehow embedded in the rock face. All discharges fell out of the bottom (Oh Matron!) and froze within a few minutes as at 3000m plus it was cooold , especially when the wind came up the rock face and into the toilet. :bored:

Sadly I have too many scatological memoires in my repertoire, most of them funny from a distance, less so when it was me that was afflicted. It's funny how certain cultures find poo hilarious and others abhorrent.


SHJ

G-CPTN
28th Dec 2014, 22:11
these special squads received an extra sixpence a day for their messy duties.
Time and a turd?

Mechta
28th Dec 2014, 22:17
The Volkswagen motor company, evidently have high regard for the chart of Messrs Lewis & Heaton, given that they used the same names for whole ranges of cars and vans. One can even see how the individual stool descriptions match the vehicles to which the names were assigned.

I must say the, as yet unreleased, Type 6 doesn't sound too promising and the Type 7 may prove impossible to build.

Yamagata ken
28th Dec 2014, 22:59
@ SaintsmanNever seen one, but I've always been intrigued by these Japanese ones. The ones that give you a wash afterwards and finish with a blast of warm air. That would seem somewhat satisfying. Indeed they are, Saintsman. One thing I really miss when I'm abroad is the facility for washing one's arse after finishing the business. They are dual purpose too. There's a ''muff'' function for the laydeez. That works very well if one wishes to wash the under/back side of one's testicles. As I discovered when I pressed the wrong button by mistake.

onetrack
28th Dec 2014, 23:40
The late Mrs R was a fount of knowledge on things medieval and it was from her that I learned that garderobes like the one in Basil's photograph were a weak spot in a castle's defences. Special squads of soldiers climbed the wall under the garderobe and overwhelmed the guards, these special squads received an extra sixpence a day for their messy duties.Now, there's a shitty job, if ever there was one!! :ooh:

Mikedreamers post reminds me when I was very small and we lived in an area of the city serviced by the "dunnycart men".
Mother got a good laugh one day from the local "dunnycart" man, which lasted for years afterwards, for her.

Bob the local dunnycart man was well-known to all, and as he passed by one day, Mum said to him, "Hello, Bob! How are you going?"

Bob's reply was unintentionally humorous - "Ahhh, it's a bum job, Missus! It's a bum job!!" :)

Further to Mikes ruminations over the benefits of "backyard dunnies", I can recall having a lengthy general discussion with an old 'Slav prospector who was long retired, and living happily in his "bush humpy" in the Goldfields.

Old Mick said to me in the course of discussions, "I dunno where the world is heading today! When I was young we ate inside the house, and shat outside the house! Now we shit inside the house and eat outside the house??" :)

obgraham
29th Dec 2014, 00:32
in some areas on the continent people like to observe the results of their exertions in order to obtain an opinion regarding the current state of their health - hence the shelf.
FFAfter observing the behavior of dogs, I tend to follow their plan: Look carefully for the right spot, circle if necessary, but when finished, never look behind you.

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Dec 2014, 04:47
No mention yet of the Mighty Peanut Studded Three Pound Pile Shredder?

Capetonian
29th Dec 2014, 05:13
I am surprised that nobody has mentioned 'El Caganer' (literally 'The Shitter') which is a popular figurine in Catalan culture, and particularly seen in shops nd curio stalls at Christmas time.

The Shitter is often an unpopular political or sporting figure. I've never understood the obsession with these things but clearly there is a market for shit like this.

but in some areas on the continent people like to observe the results of their exertions in order to obtain an opinion regarding the current state of their health - hence the shelf.And there's me thinking that 'the continental shelf' that I learned about at school was geographical feature!


http://www.caganer.com/images/caganer_sherlock_holmes_2.jpg

http://main-designyoutrust.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/caganer-leo-messi4.jpg

B Fraser
29th Dec 2014, 07:28
Is the second figure Lionel Messi ?

Blacksheep
29th Dec 2014, 07:42
The Bristol Stool Chart has missed out the Type 7a - the undigested peas one :hmm:

SpringHeeledJack
29th Dec 2014, 07:52
El Caganer is one of those things that when seen for the first time, you wonder if you've stepped into a parallel world or are having an acid flashback, as it's absurd in the extreme. Yet when walking around any town in Catalonia at this time of year, you are inundated with stalls selling every conceivable variation of figures in the position laying cable for all to see. Seems like a crap custom to me :}


SHJ

tony draper
29th Dec 2014, 08:12
Hmmm, a thought occurs!,wonder how much actual weight of turd a standard human produces in a say a tradition lifetime of three score and ten ?
Someone must have worked it out,tiz a worthy task compared to some of the daft research they undertake theses days
If the answer is forthcoming give it in proper Tons Hundredweights Stones Pounds and Ounces please.
:rolleyes:

Hobo
29th Dec 2014, 08:52
the German style plateau: the dump is deposited on it instead of the water, where it then sits and waits for the flush.

I think the plateau is so the result can be inspected closely before flushing.

=========================

Quotes from Kenny (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_%282006_film%29) - the definitive film on the subject:


Kenny: There's a smell in here that will outlast religion


[talking to fellow passenger about the in-flight toilet]

Kenny: Just watch it in there mate. That machine, once you press that flusher, that thing will probably suck your guts out through your bum.

Kenny: I'd love to be able to say "I plumb toilets" and have someone say "Now that is something I've always wanted to do".


Kenny: I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's 80% water and we've got chemicals to take care of the remaining 20.


Kenny: Funny part is parents look at me and say 'that's not much of a job, is it?'. And I say 'well you had kids'. 'You spent the first two years handling their shit, and you weren't getting paid for that'. They shit green, the only things that should be green are pears, apples and Martians.

Kenny: There's another classic example of someone having a two inch arsehole and us having installed only one inch piping.


Kenny: [calculating over phone how many toilets will be required at a public event] Have you got any Indonesian foods or curries? You have? All right. Well, normally, if it was a non-drinking event as far as alcohol, and there was no food or curries, for 4000 people for ten hours you'd have five male and five female blocks. But you've got alcohol being served as well as the food, and you've got curries in there as well, which does make a bit of a difference. And on the solid to water-based or liquid waste ratio you've got a 4:1 which is basically four liquid to one solid.

[pause]

Kenny: That's the "piss and shit" ratio, yeah.

onetrack
29th Dec 2014, 09:00
Mr Draper, it's been done. It's calculated that the average human produces 4 lbs of excrement a day (apart from a few of the posters here, who are capable of producing exceptional amounts of crap - mostly from their mouth) :)
That equates to 1460 lbs annually, and over an average Western lifetime of 80 yrs, that amounts to 116,800 lbs of pure crap in a lifetime.

The grand total in official "imperial" figures? ...

52 tons, 2 cwts, 6 stones, 12 lbs. No ounces involved, as the measurement is deemed to be too small to warrant inclusion in the results. :cool:

Pinky the pilot
29th Dec 2014, 09:06
Struth!! What a subject!:E

When I worked for a Seismic Survey Crew in the GAFA,* specifically the far SW of Queensland and the remotest bit of NW South Australia there were times when the SOP was to grab a long handled shovel, place a bog roll on the handle, grab a can of Aeroguard (Fly repellent) and take a walk away from camp. Dig a hole, spray liberally with Aeroguard, squat over hole and after job was done, backfill hole and spray very liberally with Aeroguard!

The fly repellent was for obvious reasons but also to ensure that Dingoes did not dig everything back up during the following night!:ugh::ugh:

But the best I ever heard was of the time that the crew had a drill rig available which used to drill the shot holes for the explosives part of the exploration business. (Now no longer done thankfully!!)

The drillers drilled a hole just to the 'Kelly' and a rod depth (12 metres) and the traditional Aussie Dunny seat was placed over the hole. Unbeknownst to anyone else, the 'preloader' (explosives handler) decided to place a charge at the bottom of the hole and ensured that the electric detonators could not possibly be set off unless the appropriate electric firer was used!

About after two weeks work in the area the camp had to move so the dunny was removed and the hole suitably tamped! The shotfirer had been informed and so all was set up and the charge set off.

According to witnesses, a solid 20 foot column of shit was seen to rise about 100 feet into the air, accompanied with a very loud bang!!:eek:

For the record; I had nothing to do with any of this!(I'm not joking!!!!) I do not remember any names of persons involved and I will deny knowledge of everything and anything!!:=

No, It really wasn't me!



*Great Australian F### All

onetrack
29th Dec 2014, 09:21
Pinky, believe it or not, the greatest shit-gobblers in the Australian bush are goannas (specifically, the blue-tongue lizard).
I've watched them wolf down a fresh turd like you'd scoff a prime piece of rib steak!
They obviously have no taste buds, and no sense of smell that equates to anything like ours! :yuk:

joy ride
29th Dec 2014, 09:47
My grandparent's house in Hampshire had the best toilets, which I have not seen anywhere else: the fronts of the bowls were more pointed than usual ones. When standing you could get closer (like a urinal) and eliminate drips on the floor. When seated there was plenty of room for a gentleman's appurtenances to avoid contacting the seat or the bowl. The family females also found them to be comfortable, so I cannot comprehend why such a brilliant and useful design has been metaphorically flushed down the pan. What do we have now? Square toilets. Completely crap design which completely ignores human anatomy. To add to the insult they are also several inches lower.

Water Saving flushes...great idea: you invariably have to flush twice, so where's the saving?

Ancient Observer
29th Dec 2014, 14:00
No-one has yet referred to the key issue..............

The relief and satisfaction of a job well done.

Freud thought it was similar to sexual pleasure.

Mybest ever job well done was at Don Mueang.

dazdaz1
29th Dec 2014, 15:53
My daily ablutions, after a cup of tea. Sit on the throne fag in hand flicking the ash in sink and reading the latest Argos catalogue. Having said that, I do take some fun, fluffy medical checks by the local GP

"Mr **** how are your bowel movements" No problems 8.30 dump "nothing wrong with that" problem is I don't get out of bed until 9.30

Joke aside (new GP now) she is drop dead sexy, and I have concerns of one of my bollocks, Has anyone let a GP (female) have a fiddle with the testis?

Lonewolf_50
29th Dec 2014, 15:58
Joke aside (new GP now) she is drop dead sexy, and I have concerns of one of my bollocks, Has anyone let a GP (female) have a fiddle with the testis? Yes, it's a fine procedure, nothing to worry about.

DType
29th Dec 2014, 16:58
Installed one of these with the short/long flush option.
The problem was that the short flush buton often jammed under the long flush button, giving a flush length which tended to infinity. Especially as I tend to have a last leak before rushing out the door, thus not noticing the prolonged flush until returning hours or even days later.
Sort of defines "counterproductive"!

ian16th
29th Dec 2014, 17:24
Installed one of these with the short/long flush option.When planning the refitting a bathroom, my friendly plumber strongly advised NOT to buy one of these.

More trouble that they are worth he said, so I took his advice.

flying lid
29th Dec 2014, 21:19
When I was young, and we had nowt, we used to eat inside and shit outside.

These days, more wealthy, we eat outside and shit inside.

Lid

Hydromet
29th Dec 2014, 21:22
Dazdaz, if one is swollen, you should ask if she can make the other one the same size.

Noyade
29th Dec 2014, 21:50
the average human produces 4 lbs of excrement a dayWhat?!

Ya gotta be shitting me?!

We're talking around 70-470 grams average here...

Fecal weight, colon cancer risk, and dietary intake of nonstarch po... - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1333426)

G-CPTN
29th Dec 2014, 21:55
I would have thought that faecal weight was directly related to amount of food eaten, Shirley?

tartare
29th Dec 2014, 22:29
Bloke at work was talking about scatological tom-foolery at Australian Universities.
The reverse-kanga: a manoeuvre involving shitting on the loo facing backwards to as to leave a particularly vicious front skid-mark for next poor bastard who used the facility.
But even more devious, the Upper-deckie.
Taking a shit in the cistern...
"Christ, where's that awful smell coming from...?"

Loose rivets
29th Dec 2014, 23:08
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/walnaze/Emoticons%20etc/image002.gif (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/walnaze/media/Emoticons%20etc/image002.gif.html)

IBMJunkman
30th Dec 2014, 01:52
Now I have to throw out all the ice cream in my freezer.:{

Stanwell
30th Dec 2014, 02:48
"The average human produces about 4 lbs.. a day"

What??
Mate, you've gotta be fulla sh1t!

BlueWolf
30th Dec 2014, 03:26
Joke aside (new GP now) she is drop dead sexy, and I have concerns of one of my bollocks, Has anyone let a GP (female) have a fiddle with the testis?

No....but I have had a female doc check my prostate, and once upon a very long time ago a female nurse perform the old pipe cleaner test for the clap. Neither occasion was particularly enjoyable, for any of the parties involved I would posit.

One vineyard block we installed had the luxury of a long drop, the hole lined with 44 gallon drums with both ends knocked out. It was four drums deep, that being the limit of the reach of the boom on the digger. A tidy plywood cabine was installed above, no door, but facing discretely away from the smoko shed. One Friday afternoon the boss' dog caught a rabbit. Not wanting to have his ute smelling of rabbity spaniel farts for the trip home, he chucked the unfortunate Oryctolagus cuniculus, into the aforementioned convenience.

"Won't that stink the dunny up?" several persons enquired.

"Nah, it'll be gone by Monday," was the wisdom in response.

Well this was Central Otago in the summertime, and come Monday you couldn't back yourself into that booth. The smell hung in the air like some kind of semi-solid haze; I swear it was visible if you squinted, it looked like a nasty shade of green jelly.

Not having any lime on site, many litres of diesel were applied instead. Unfortunately it didn't work, and now the dunny stank of diesel as well as decomposing rabbit at 40 degrees C. We attempted immolation but (probably fortunately) there was no oxygen at the bottom of the hole. No sawdust either, so it was down to a couple of barrowloads of dirt and gravel. That blunted the olfactory assault sufficiently to facilitate functionality, but only just.

We used to play a jolly game where people would throw small rocks and clumps of hard dirt at the shed when someone was in residence, making exiting the facility something of a missile-dodging lottery. The stink added to the sport by reducing the time people were prepared to linger, causing many to exit rapidly under intense fire.

Ee, them were't days.

:p

Stanwell
30th Dec 2014, 04:04
Good post, BlueWolf.
The long-drop requires liberal quantities of lime to be applied at intervals, though.

The other clever device is a milk bottle or similar inserted into the side of the can.
With the lid down, of course, the flies that have managed to enter will, before long, seek a source of light - naturally the bottle - which is, for them anyway, a one-way street.
Every so often, just empty the dead flies down the hole. Simples.

Dark Knight
30th Dec 2014, 04:08
Not forgetting `The Mystery of the Body in the Bog'

John Hill
30th Dec 2014, 04:41
I wondered how the guest house in Kabul had a flush toilet when all the city's infrastructure was in ruins then one morning we left by a different route and I noticed a cess pool at the end of the street. Workers were shovelling the contents into wooden tanks on donkey carts to carry it to the vegetable gardens. Presumably they brought back a load of salad greens..

mikedreamer787
30th Dec 2014, 06:16
...with a generous dose of Hep B within them. :hmm:

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Dec 2014, 07:22
Possibly apocryphal story from one of the bush bases:

Stand to was usually a quiet affair where you took post on the wall around 4am and waited for sunrise. Now this particular base was run by a lunatic who got his jollies lobbing a grenade over the wall every once in a while, followed by a volley of pistol fire into the air to simulate an attack. We were expected to rush out and fire a few random shots into the surrounding bush in response. We learned to anticipate his actions from the surreptitious padding around the ammo bunker and the clink of kit as he got what he wanted, so when the bang came we older hands would just reach for a rifle next to us and fire a couple of rounds through the tent roof to show willing.

The story goes that there was no fun in randomly potting off a round or three into the darkness so an alternative target was sought. Off to one side of the base was a sighting range where rifles were zeroed, and next to it was a small long drop with hessian around it to screen the partaker from view. Evacuation was accomplished sat on a wooden pole which was lashed between two wood tripods.

Anyhow, the sighting range crapper became the target of choice for those on stand to, and after a while it became quite tatty from all the abuse it was taking. The final straw was when some poor unfortunate sat upon the by now ragged cross pole to take a dump and the thing broke, depositing him in among the effluent. He was fished out, hosed down and those indulging in the practice of firing upon the shitter were ordered to cease and desist with immediate effect.

Capetonian
30th Dec 2014, 12:46
Freud most likely derived his conclusion by listening in on blokes having sex and then listening to them having a crap.Taking a much needed and enjoyable dump early this morning after a 12 hour flight, I wondered why toilets at so many airports have those partitions that reach neither the floor nor the ceiling, leaving one to listen to the strains and plops from the next cubicle, and to suffer the aromas produced. WHY???

Edit : I felt sorry for the chap next door to me too!

wings folded
30th Dec 2014, 12:51
I wondered why toilets at so many airports have those partitions that reach neither the floor nor the ceiling, leaving one to listen to the strains and plops from the next cubicle, and to suffer the aromas produced. WHY???
Equally true of all sanitary arrangements I have briefly occupied in America. A fastidious man would not enter their bogs for a second time

G-CPTN
30th Dec 2014, 13:03
I wondered why toilets at so many airports have those partitions that reach neither the floor nor the ceiling,
No cracks and crannies to harbour crap.

wings folded
30th Dec 2014, 13:08
Not sure about my crannie, but I thought that one of the main purposes of my crack was to harbour, albeit for a short while...

oh, no I have said enough

ex_matelot
30th Dec 2014, 14:32
I once created a "Sheridans" turd. Sheridans as in the liqueur.

It was almost black on one side longitudinally, with a perfectly sharp border giving way to an almost cream colour on the other side. My only regret is that it happened way before the availability of camera phones.

Mechta
30th Dec 2014, 21:32
I once created a "Sheridans" turd. Sheridans as in the liqueur.

It was almost black on one side longitudinally, with a perfectly sharp border giving way to an almost cream colour on the other side. My only regret is that it happened way before the availability of camera phones. Some years ago, I thought it would be fun to create a website called 'Captain's Log' to which people could upload pictures of their latest and greatest achievements, and maybe even allow voting for length, girth, artistic content (ex-matelot's 'Sheridans' could be a contender), and 'real or fake'. I tried to get Mechta Major interested, as he is the master of all things computery, but to no avail. Having followed this thread, I'm beginning to think that I should give it, and its sister site, 'Snotfair' a go.

Women just don't seem to get the male fascination with the subject, yet look at the fuss they make when some 7lbs or so of slimy pink thing emerges from their body; they can't wait to share the pictures with their friends, can they?

tartare
30th Dec 2014, 22:20
Mechta - I reckon you're onto a winner with that idea..!

Donkey497
30th Dec 2014, 22:50
I hate to combine threads, but I do believe that the lamented Slasher would have been an appreciator and possibly significant contributor to this thread.


On the subject of the Australian student antics - knowing the odd one or two (& that may not entirely be a pun......), I am surprised that if they tried the cistern that no-one attempted the lampshade........

obgraham
30th Dec 2014, 23:42
Well, Mike and Mechta, you are both ignoring the fact that she gets to keep her little product around for years, and ultimately you pass all your possessions over to it.

I doubt you can do that with one of the magnificent turds referred to herein.

aspinwing
31st Dec 2014, 00:08
Always thus...
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080216140606/uncyclopedia/images/4/45/Double-outhouse.jpg

Solid Rust Twotter
31st Dec 2014, 06:43
Best of the NAAFI Bar on ARRSE have a couple of classic threads on the subject.

V2-OMG!
1st Jan 2015, 04:35
There's got to be a pony under here somewhere.......