View Full Version : Totally Irrational Fears

12th Dec 2014, 17:49
As a very small child I was terrified of Charlie Drake. Where on earth did that come from? (No, I have not yet descended into the unspeakable vice of intemperance, but the night is still young!)...

Shaggy Sheep Driver
12th Dec 2014, 17:51
Clowns are a bit scary, innit.

12th Dec 2014, 17:56
Nope SSD, not clowns, just Charle 'Hello my darlings' Drake!

12th Dec 2014, 18:03
Shaggy Sheep Driver:

Yes, clowns are scary indeed. And some, like the pictured Pennywise, will kill you.


tony draper
12th Dec 2014, 18:27
One admit to feeling slightly uncomfortable in the presence of spiders. http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a194/Deaddogbay/Deaddogbay002/hide_zpslsdpybhi.gif (http://s11.photobucket.com/user/Deaddogbay/media/Deaddogbay002/hide_zpslsdpybhi.gif.html)

12th Dec 2014, 18:41
Ha! I laugh in the face of clowns and spiders, but I defy you not to cower behind the sofa at this:


12th Dec 2014, 18:48
Father Christmas - has terrified me for the past 69 years since I encountered one in Selfridges, London. Still have to cross the street if I see one standing on the pavement.

12th Dec 2014, 19:50
Look Tony D. Just for you. Behold the Camel spider. Or, in this case, two Camel spiders.


And just think Tony, their top speed can be up to 16 km/h - 10 mph. Can you sprint Tony, eh, can ya sprint? :}:E

Super VC-10
12th Dec 2014, 22:00
Tony, how big are you, compared to that tiny ickle spidey? :*

12th Dec 2014, 22:49
Was it not (rather drunk) Charlie Drake who was alleged to have propositioned a BA female CC in First with "What would you say to a little f**k?" and received the response "Hello, little f**k, Sir"?

12th Dec 2014, 23:22
I believe that Charlie Drake was a little man with a big opinion:-

TV producer Michael Hurll worked with Charlie when he was a holiday camp redcoat: “He was a nasty man then,” Hurll said, “and he stayed a nasty man – a horrible, horrible man”.

13th Dec 2014, 06:39
I sometimes worry I won't be able
to get my wang up when called on
to do so at very short notice. But I
think it might be old age paranoia.

Honey is actually bee spit and I
can't help thinking of a bunch of
big drone bees doing noisy deep
draw backs then hoiking up and
slagging it off into the honey jar
that's sitting on the table for my

For some reason when I pull up a
toilet seat sometimes I expect to
see a baby croc in it ready to bite
my ass if I sit.

joy ride
13th Dec 2014, 09:16
The War Department's son has been terrified of anchors since a toddler. He saw one on the ground at Greenwich and had a fit of blind terror. He had never seen one before, had never been attacked by one, never had one land on his head, and is still afraid of them in his 20s.

Fearing anything dangerous or potentially dangerous is rational fear. Fearing a static anchor seems to me to be irrational and he agrees, but this does not end his fear. The brain has many mysteries!

13th Dec 2014, 10:13
I'm terrified of snakes (even though I've seen only about 3 'out in the wild') and Colorado beetles. Who sniffed out my 5 potatoes as soon as I planted them in my little veggie-plot, and I do understand that they can't possibly bite or sting, but still they're scary.

13th Dec 2014, 10:31
Swimming next to a large vertical surface, such as the side of a ship, or a dam wall. Never done it, but the thought makes me extremely uncomfortable.

13th Dec 2014, 11:22
Why are those creatures joined together, rg ? Making another one, perchance ?

13th Dec 2014, 11:46
I used to think this bloke was real scary.


Shaggy Sheep Driver
13th Dec 2014, 12:01
I was going to post a picture of Tony Blair or Gordon Brown, then remembered this thread is about irrational fears.

13th Dec 2014, 12:06
Quite happy to pick up the deadliest snakes in Australia, but I was afraid to pick up a mouse out of a seed bin to feed them.

14th Dec 2014, 20:20
Being retired, this

14th Dec 2014, 21:03
I've posted this before - my fear is automatic car washes. Had a couple of unpleasant experiences in them, so not entirely irrational. Will never, ever use one again. Ever.

15th Dec 2014, 04:44

Espada III
15th Dec 2014, 06:24
Swimming next to a large vertical surface, such as the side of a ship, or a dam wall. Never done it, but the thought makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I am a strong swimmer but this also gives me the shivers. I once was in Toronto and swam in the partly outdoor pool of the Sheraton downtown. The view of other skyscrapers towering over me really gave me an irrational fear but I could not say what it was I was concerned about.

Ancient Mariner
15th Dec 2014, 08:33
I hate swimming on the surface, can't see what's beneath. Scares me numb, even in swimming pools. You never know where you might encounter sharks these days.
Diving on the other hand, no fear.

Cyber Bob
15th Dec 2014, 09:18
Polystyrene and someone sucking a blanket. For some unknown reason it affects my teeth?

Cannot for the life of me fathom out why :ugh:

15th Dec 2014, 09:21
Nope SSD, not clowns, just Charle 'Hello my darlings' Drake!

What about Charlie Drake as a clown?

http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/501214357-english-comedian-and-actor-charlie-drake-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=X7WJLa88Cweo9HktRLaNXiSRJeCS8Cz2DoGgUj%2BrMucG%2FvXTo7z4Wx sApKNQsa7U

Can't think of any for myself - still spiders a bit but as I have to deal with any in our house that is not so bad these days.

A friend had a terrible aversion to cotton wool.

15th Dec 2014, 19:25
Buttons. Probably because at my primary school circa 1944-46 there was a boy who wore one of those woolen pixie hoods and he was always sucking the button that could be used to close it while having a candle hanging down in winter. Can't stand touching buttons generally since then - although I have made exceptions under certain female exploratory conditions. :} If Mrs JWP buys me any boxers with button fronts the buttons have to be removed and replaced by a stitch or two.

15th Dec 2014, 19:57
That is an abomination MD2!

15th Dec 2014, 20:46
Don't like rats, ok with mice but rats send a shiver up my spine. Once saw one jump over my Dads shoulder when he bent forward to kill it with a spade..

mr fish
15th Dec 2014, 23:20
as a six year old I had a morbid fear of my schools visiting NIT NURSE!!!

scuttle put about by the much older boys and girls (aged eight) was that the beaker of foul fluid used to store nit combes in fact contained hair remover and if lice were detected the evil cow would remove all ones hair.

a visit was announced by letter to parents a few days in advance and I counted down the time s**ting it........kids can be deliciously cruel!!!


Loose rivets
16th Dec 2014, 01:47
Dark water in a tank. Have to steel myself to plunge my hand in to mend ballcock etc.

Not a fear, but an irrational hatred of Christmas, birthdays and presents in general. I'm not mean and I've proved that by being there for kids and folk when big problems need addressing, but wrapping things up and pretending to like the crap people buy me drives me to a dark corner with brandy.

Why, when folk know me so well do they buy me a screwdriver set with a thousand blades all on one handle? Oooo, it's got a light in it. Oh well, that makes it okay then. I gave it to a hedgehog to see if they'd mate.

I put on a face for the kids when they were young. The Rivetess made fantastic Christmases and overcame the depression I felt. I had the kids fooled for years, but eventually they sensed the mauve aura I was emitting. I don't know what caused it, but I can remember the tension at Christmas. Nice food considering it was just post war, but very little true happiness. My dad leaving us could have had a lot to do with that. Couldn't wait to get out with me mates.

The forum I spend a lot of time on has an endless succession of Christmas trees being displayed. I swear, if I see another one on that link I'll program their x-boxes to shoot down their fairies.

16th Dec 2014, 02:48
Some people are afraid of heights.

Not me.

I'm afraid of widths.

joy ride
16th Dec 2014, 09:10
JWP1938 You are not alone! A friend of a friend has a really strong fear of buttons and will allow none in her house. This is not fear of choking on a button or drowning in a sea of buttons, or killer buttons with machine guns, it is just a highly irrational fear of buttons themselves. In my mind genuinely irrational and, I presumed, unique. Now I know of two button fearers, both in Kent.

16th Dec 2014, 10:17
Fear of buttons is called Koumpounophobia. It appears that Steve Jobs was a sufferer.

16th Dec 2014, 10:26
Not a fear as such, but I've got a very strong aversion to scratchy waterproof material (some anoraks etc) or anything that makes a high-pitched sound when scratched. The first time I remember coming across this was at school in the 70s when our hymn books came in strange scratchy covers. I can't touch the stuff and just thinking about it literally makes my palms sweat (charming).

I haven't met anyone else with the same aversion.

16th Dec 2014, 11:17
Again not a fear but I hate parties. Probably comes from being forced to attend so many BoB and Embassy cocktail parties. Also I hate crowds so that all ties in.

Fear: I can stand with my toes over a dead drop of say 50' where if I fell I could be killed. I can't stand on a balcony (with rail) that is higher than 100' :confused:

I have never parachuted, thank you, many opportunities, but my colleagues told me that they had no problems with jumping out at 12,000' but a balloon at 200' (?) was very frightening. No movement or sound just jumping into space,

16th Dec 2014, 13:36

I did a fair amount of "jumping" (parachuting) whilst in the employ of Uncle Sugar's Army. I did LALO jumps (low altitude low opening), HALO jumps (High Altitude Low Opening) and every thing else in between. Never had a problem with any of them.

However, if a stand on a balcony at 20' up, I get overwhelming feelings of vertigo, when I look down.

Go figure!

16th Dec 2014, 14:34
Funny old thing, the mind. I have and have always had a lot of trouble climbing up anything, and also a fear of heights while up in the mountains, walking or driving.

But as an apprentice I could climb a 60' phone pole with no problems once my safety harness was around the pole. I could even lean back against the belt and eat my lunch or read a newspaper. I am sure I could do it today. Or in an aircraft, once the door is shut and locked and the bit of red cloth put across*, no problems.

* Thread drift: I always thought this was a cut off the leading stew's knickers. As I said, funny old thing, the mind.

16th Dec 2014, 14:37
Incidently, it's not just humans. My cat Buster, the Big Ginger Tom, would happily walk along the edge of our balcony (60' drop) but would fight scratch and claw if picked up and taken anywhere near the edge. It was obvious to us he was scared of being thrown over, or he mistrusted us or some darn thing, when near a drop.

16th Dec 2014, 15:13
an irrational hatred of Christmas, birthdays and presents in general

You are not alone.

I just get more and more depressed as they approach.

16th Dec 2014, 16:52
Irrational fears? Santa-phobia? Appears so to some.


16th Dec 2014, 18:45
Ah Bejeesus rg now you made me toss me cookies at the sheer unbridled horror of it.

16th Dec 2014, 19:22
Horrifying it is, OFSO, indeed.

Rob Courtney
16th Dec 2014, 19:37
Just remember Shaggy Sheep driver if you are ever attacked by a group of clowns always go for the juggler:ok:

16th Dec 2014, 21:38
I can't decide if it's worse him bein' Father Christmas or a Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church.

flying lid
16th Dec 2014, 21:56

19th Dec 2014, 07:48
I have an irrational fear of stinky Indians and Pakistanis.

oh wait...its not irrational ...they are stinky.

19th Dec 2014, 13:53
I have an irrational fear of stinky Indians and Pakistanis.

oh wait...its not irrational ...they are stinky.

And I thought it was just me. (Not the stinking one, but the stink-ee) :ok: