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View Full Version : I'm sorry I haven't a clue....


Rossian
2nd Dec 2014, 11:19
.......and nor do I now.

Alledgedly a high level BBC team have been investigating a complaint made in July 2013 that the presenter of said programme had made comments about the "lovely Samantha" which were "sexist and sexually objectifyng" the character -

WHO DOESN'T EXIST!!

I think we ought to be told who the idiots are who have wasted time (and our money) in having meetings about the future course of action. They should be publicly pilloried and have rotten tomatoes thrown at them, and be generally exposed to the humiliation they deserve.

What planet are they on - as sure as shot it isn't the one I'm on.

The Ancient Mariner

PS for those not in UK the subject programme is a radio comedy in which two teams of boring old farts are " given silly things to do by the chairman" and it is also the origin of the almost as long running "Mornington Crescent" thread here on Pprune.

handsfree
2nd Dec 2014, 11:22
The details -

BBC investigates after concern imaginary character was victim of sexism - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11266311/BBC-investigates-after-concern-imaginary-character-was-victim-of-sexism.html)

LookingForAJob
2nd Dec 2014, 11:24
Samantha DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!!??????

I have to say that I haven't been a regular listener since Humph's demise - it just didn't feel right to hear the same words in someone else's voice.

But I happened to listen last night and thought it was excellent again - maybe
I've been missing out.

Loved the line about prisons being like holiday camps.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
2nd Dec 2014, 11:28
Then & Now

Useless idiots in the community provide entertainment for the masses

1014 - Jester

http://www.u5uk.com/you/masquerade/images/artimg/GJ3UW-X/Medieval%20Jester.jpg


2014 - Director of BBC Customer-Facing Diversity Interface Communication Facility

http://www.leematthewgoldberg.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/faceless_suit_tie.jpg

Limeygal
2nd Dec 2014, 11:32
What are you talking about? Samantha doesn't exist? What utter tosh-I will have to send Mrs. Trellis round to sort you lot out

Bushfiva
2nd Dec 2014, 12:34
Makes one wonder about Sven.

OFSO
2nd Dec 2014, 13:09
Coincidence ! I was just reading in 'Private Eye' about the hundreds of new managers BBC has recruited since 2005 (augmenting numbers to the tens of thousands) and wondering what they all DO.

Now I know.

goudie
2nd Dec 2014, 13:20
Shirley that article is a spoof. I read it earlier and thought it was something out of Alice in Wonderland, unbelievable! Samantha is a Goddess and long may she continue to score. I often wonder if 'Humph' found a suitable replacement 'to sit on his right hand', up in heaven.

OFSO
2nd Dec 2014, 13:56
If I find a Goddess when I get up in heaven, it's not my right hand I want her to sit on.

Oooooooh ! Naughty !

Ancient Observer
2nd Dec 2014, 14:40
Wot rot!!!!!!


Samantha helps me find my way around Mornington Crescent, quite frequently.

LordGrumpy
2nd Dec 2014, 15:22
Might Samantha; be polishing a trumpet?

teeteringhead
2nd Dec 2014, 15:25
Samantha is in the BBC record store helping the two friendly old archivists to polish their tone arms. And whilst there, despite advances in technology, she still prefers the old 7" and 12"...........


Samantha spends so much time down in the gramaphone library researching this that she's been asked to take over as the new supervisor. Her first task is a complete staff reorganisation and to allocate new duties to the nice old archivists. They say that when she's finished her assessment they're hoping Samantha will give them a group presentation in the conference room and then hand jobs out in the office.

BOAC
2nd Dec 2014, 15:35
Heavens - this must leave Julian and his bona mate Sandy stiff with fear............

John Marsh
2nd Dec 2014, 15:53
goudie:

Shirley that article is a spoof. I read it earlier and thought it was something out of Alice in Wonderland, unbelievable!
I thought it might be a spoof. If released on April 1st, I'd definitely take it as a spoof.

But it's just too perfectly in line with the current PC lunacy. It's for real. Mary Whitehouse is no longer with us, so armies of dedicated offendees and their proxies must step into the breach.

I am odd... I readily accept that, on any given day, I may find on air or online, material which I find in some way distasteful. Or even, offensive!:eek:

But, as Steve Hughes points out, nothing awful ensues from being offended. And let's face it, I create my own reaction to the 'offensive' material.

Perhaps that's too complex for the PC brigade. Or too boring.

goudie
2nd Dec 2014, 15:55
Julian and his bona mate Sandy stiff with fear...

eKB2f7lhI3E

Capetonian
2nd Dec 2014, 16:00
I read this over my bacon and eggs this morning and was wondering what the hell it was about.

I'm none the wiser now.

BOAC
2nd Dec 2014, 16:14
We'll get Mrs Trellis to write to you.

wings folded
2nd Dec 2014, 16:15
Samantha assists the custodian of the gramophone records in the basement, with no electricity, so lit by candlelight, as he takes the dust and wax off in the dark...

Tankertrashnav
2nd Dec 2014, 16:37
Loved the line about prisons being like holiday camps.

For those who didnt hear the programme, Jack Dee said that British prisons are just like holiday camps...

...they're full of 1970s entertainers!

(Sharp intake of breath from the audience, then lots of laughter).

Re Samantha - Ive noticed that the svelte Sven hasnt been around much recently. Perhaps they could bring him back for alternate programmes to calm the complainers down.

Shaggy Sheep Driver
2nd Dec 2014, 16:37
"Samantha has to leave us now. She's going to meet an old gentleman who holds wine tastings. She's decided to go along this year even though last year the best he could manage was a Semillon".

"Now we're going to play a game based on that old TV favorite, "Give us a clue". The exponent of that game was Lionel Blair, and who can forget the look on Una Stubbs' face as he tried to pull off '12 angry men' in under 60 seconds".

wings folded
2nd Dec 2014, 16:45
Samantha is off now to help her elderly neighbour. She helps him onto the stairlift downstairs, and then pulls him off on the landing.

Shaggy Sheep Driver
2nd Dec 2014, 17:31
"Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees... and soon have them flying round his head."

"Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They're going on a driving tour of Wales. She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van."

“Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office."

Low Flier
2nd Dec 2014, 19:29
"Samantha has to go now as she’s off to meet her Italian gentleman friend who’s taking her out for an ice-cream. She says she likes to spend the evening licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan."

Gertrude the Wombat
2nd Dec 2014, 20:22
For those who didnt hear the programme, Jack Dee said that British prisons are just like holiday camps...

...they're full of 1970s entertainers!
Yup. Best joke on that show for months if not years.

Low Flier
2nd Dec 2014, 21:53
"After tasting the meat pies, Samantha said she liked Mr Dewhurst’s beef in ale; although she preferred his tongue in cider."

tow1709
2nd Dec 2014, 22:11
"Samantha is meeting a roof insulation expert. She is going to get felt laid down in her loft."

Low Flier
2nd Dec 2014, 22:29
"Samantha tells me she has to pop out now as she does a few chores for an elderly gentleman who lives nearby. She shows him how to use the washing machine and then goes out to prune his fruit trees. Later he'll be hanging out his pyjamas as he watches her beaver away up the ladder."