View Full Version : Spoonerisms

1st Dec 2014, 11:13
Was on the phone a while ago to report a stolen credit card, but it came out as a Bolen Starclaycard...

The Memsahib in the pub, ordered a Mizzy Fineral water....


1st Dec 2014, 11:23
Friar Tuck was in deep sh!t when he spoonerised his name

1st Dec 2014, 11:43
Radio 4's Charlotte Green reading the news some years ago:

"Cross Flannel Cherries".

ITV's Anna-Marie Ashe on the local news MEANT to say "Kent Countryside". We might not have noticed but she corrected herself...

1st Dec 2014, 12:05
The Memsahib in the pub, ordered a Mizzy Fineral water....


As the late Kenny Everett would say, "Cupid Stunt"! :ooh:

1st Dec 2014, 12:55
As per the original 'you have hissed all my mystery lessons and must leave Oxford on the next town drain'. Rev Spooner was of course the very erudite warden of New College.

1st Dec 2014, 12:59
I distinctly remember my mother running out of the kitchen shouting, "My sock's blinked!"

1st Dec 2014, 13:28
My favourite was the late, great Humph who was aksed on a local radio interview whether he was in fact also an 'orthinologist'. Too late, he realised he should have replied, 'No, more of a word botcher'.

1st Dec 2014, 13:55
ITV's Anna-Marie Ashe on the local news MEANT to say "Kent Countryside". We might not have noticed but she corrected herself...

I'm sure that was Trevor McDonald.

1st Dec 2014, 14:10
And the Australian football commentator who enthused about 'a magnificent punt kick from the back pocket' only that's not quite what he said. He glossed over it but it was his snickering co-commentators who drew everyone's attention to the gaffe. Well, not gaffe...

Even the most staid of cricket announcers appreciates the opportunity for a bit of wit. John Arlott once mused about New Zealand all-rounder Bob Cunis' name: 'Funny sort of name, neither one thing nor t'other'.

Apparently there was stunned silence in the commentary box before Arlott continued his observations of the match.

1st Dec 2014, 14:54
My wife was talking about the famous movie actor East Clintwood, and she has never been allowed to forget it.

tony draper
1st Dec 2014, 14:58
Injecting himself with a Hyperdeemic Noodle was the best I ever heard.:)

Null Orifice
1st Dec 2014, 15:01
My sister-in-law really enjoyed that film she called Crocadee Dundile.

jez d
1st Dec 2014, 15:11
I believe the Rev. Spooner was also responsible, may sod rest his goal, for the immortal toast: "Three cheers for our queer old dean!"

Re RJM's sports Colemanballs, will always remember Johnner's line: "There's Neil Harvey standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle"

1st Dec 2014, 15:26
...and the immortal 'The batsman's Holding the bowler's Willey'.

wings folded
1st Dec 2014, 15:30
A BBC announcer spoonerised the concert about to be broadcast from the "City Hall, Sheffield"

1st Dec 2014, 16:24
We mustn't forget James Naughtie introducing Jeremy Hunt the Culture Secretary...

Londonblue, I could swear it was the lovely Ms Ashe, but apparently not. I was probably still giggling when she came on air...

1st Dec 2014, 16:31
Always a good parade from The Royal Arse Hortillery.

1st Dec 2014, 16:38
Local radio station, a man of the cloth was the presenter, managed to say "we have asked 10 randy housewives" instead of "we have asked 10 housewives at random".

Jimmy Macintosh
1st Dec 2014, 16:42
My friends sister was having a guest visit. She was in an emotional state and when the guest was introduced to us my friend in greatest spoonerism fashion said

"She's going to whore out her part to you all night"

Said sister was mortified.

1st Dec 2014, 16:49
ISTR that Bishop Spooner's classic send down included the phrase "You have tasted the whole worm."

Has anyone here listened to Wes Harrison? Master of the spoonerism!

After an excellent landing etc...

Super VC-10
1st Dec 2014, 16:51
Mum yelled "Get and come it!" one dinnertime. It's now a regular shout. :cool:

sea oxen
1st Dec 2014, 16:58
The Spectator held a competition a few weeks ago, some of the entries were blinders. Being stupid/tidy, I've thrown the blighter out, but I remember from Basil Dansome-Ravies:
I did my best to tease her ears
and fill her hole with soap

Hound fear: http://www.spectator.co.uk/life/competition/9342172/spooner-verse/

Effluent Man
1st Dec 2014, 17:31
One of Dr.Spooner's originals : "The Lord is a shoving leopard"

1st Dec 2014, 17:36
Coincidentally, a colleague said last night that his missus was talking about popcorn...whilst not technically a full-blown spoonerism, she nevertheless coined the phrase 'cockporn'....

1st Dec 2014, 19:24
my personal favourite is "Duck Fat"

and I'm thinking of changing my name to Mat Foale...

1st Dec 2014, 19:31
That Jeremy *unt... HUNT!!!! one is worthy of repeating in full.

It's his attempts not to laugh afterwards that still bring tears to my eyes!


:D :D :D

1st Dec 2014, 19:42
I occasionally tell my wife that I need to put "fird in the bood feeder."

There's also one I always use; My Blowing Feet.

1st Dec 2014, 19:50
I once worked with a girl whose parents owned a trucking company. Her name, Lisa Deane.

1st Dec 2014, 21:25
My far far better half has in the past mentioned snovelling show and refridging the refrosterator.
Number one son up to about eight years of age used to talk of the heaterator in his bedroom

2nd Dec 2014, 10:11
Perhaps some kind person with YouTube access could dig out some of Ronnie Barker's spoonerism sketches.

joy ride
2nd Dec 2014, 10:30
My granny's best, when showing some old women around town: "The High Street was much nicer back in the old days when they flung hags out of the windows."

About 30 years ago after lots of trouble with my bank I closed my account at the National Bestminster Well, that's enough from me.

Go Smoke
2nd Dec 2014, 10:49
My grandmother was one for spoonerism by all accounts.
Her classic was Woolwich Polytechnic becoming Poolwich Wallytechnic.

2nd Dec 2014, 10:53
Perhaps some kind person with YouTube access could dig out some of Ronnie Barker's spoonerism sketches

Ah, yes Cinderella... Wonderful stuff. Cotton Runts!

2nd Dec 2014, 11:08
You want Spoonerisms? No wucking furries!

2nd Dec 2014, 11:18
Was it the Goons or Round the Horne that introduced us to the joys of Mary Hinge?

2nd Dec 2014, 11:24
I once spoonerismed (Spoonerised? Spooned?) a lady called Kath Hunt. She was not happy.

2nd Dec 2014, 11:58
A friend's one became standard language, used frequently in our family, after she declared one day that "a struck just thought her ...." :ok:

2nd Dec 2014, 12:30
the joys of Mary Hinge?

Amazingly the BBC vetoed Kenny Everett using 'Mary Hinge' on his show but let him get away with 'Cupid Stunts'.........cupid stunts!

Low Flier
2nd Dec 2014, 12:45
Then there was James Naughtie of yon ilk:

2nd Dec 2014, 12:53
Chuck you Farlie!

Dont Hang Up
2nd Dec 2014, 19:13
Was this a real spoonerism or is it an urban myth that he once said:

"...and you sir are a shining wit!"

Dont Hang Up
2nd Dec 2014, 19:16
I only know of one spoonersim that also seems to be a euphemism. It is: Wafty krank

Anyone know any others?

2nd Dec 2014, 20:03
Police officer: "What type of hat was the suspect wearing?"

Witness: "It was a cat flap!"

2nd Dec 2014, 20:43
Spooner was known to have referred to the Queer old Dean (meanings were probably not quite the same in those days!).

2nd Dec 2014, 21:02
I once enjoyed seeing that movie A Sale of Two Titties.

Madame DeFarge didn't like a sick duck, though Mr DeFarge was a pheasant plucker.

Twas disappointing we never got to see Lucy Manette's tool kits.

2nd Dec 2014, 22:02
Well some one had to .... for MagnusP

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters
had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.

Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

Go Smoke
3rd Dec 2014, 13:35
It definitely runs in the family.

My Father had a friend called Terry Hart. I opened the door to his knock one day (aged 5 years) and loudly announced to the house that it was Hairy Tart..

My elder brothers groom speech at his wedding was supposed to end with the line 'and I shall protect her like a knight in shining armour'.......predictable he screwed it into 'shite in knighming armour'
Naturally he's never been allowed to forget it.

4th Dec 2014, 07:09
Victoria Regina can be hard to say.

Vagina kayak artist arrested in Japan ? Japan Today: Japan News and Discussion (http://www.japantoday.com/category/crime/view/vagina-kayak-artist-arrested-in-japan#comments)