View Full Version : Who The Hell Said That?

Juliet Sierra Papa
2nd Nov 2014, 21:24
I'm quite sure that we've all heard the one about "What the fu*k was that"...... Mayor of Hiroshima!!!
Thought I'd try this in a thread where you can post the questions and guess the answers whether true or sartyrical.

I'll start with... I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Enjoy if you can :ok:

Juliet Sierra Papa
2nd Nov 2014, 21:37
Famous last words....

Exactly HC, Call it what you like.

2nd Nov 2014, 21:52
I love a Martini, but only one.

Two put me under the table

and three put me under the host.

-Dorothy Parker

flying lid
2nd Nov 2014, 21:58
I thought that WanKing was the capital of China ---

Until I discovered Smirnoff !!

Shithouse wall - York pub next to Minster.

Juliet Sierra Papa
2nd Nov 2014, 22:04
and three put me under the host
That's what i'm looking for 421dog... :ok:

2nd Nov 2014, 22:11
I think this a genuine quote about a particular drink, which may be a Long Island Iced Tea

"One drink and I'm anybody's; two and I'm everybody's"

Anyone know which drink for sure, and who said it?

2nd Nov 2014, 22:22
Sounds like Sza Sza Gabor (sp?), if not then Mae West.

2nd Nov 2014, 22:32
Graffiti on the wall of the gents at Beckenham Junction railway station about thirty years ago.
"Anyone can p155 on the floor, be a hero and 5h1t on the ceiling".

barry lloyd
2nd Nov 2014, 22:39
On a poster board outside a church in the city centre, early 1960s:

"What would you do if Jesus came to Liverpool?"

Underneath a few days later was written the anonymous reply -

"Move Ian St John to Inside Left"

2nd Nov 2014, 22:55
Zsa Zsa Gabor, and I agree it sounds like one of them.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Mae West

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
Zsa Zsa Gabor

2nd Nov 2014, 23:15
That's what i'm looking for 421dog...

Well, I met a really nice girl in Durban back in '82, but I'm married to a Wisconsin gal now...

Ascend Charlie
2nd Nov 2014, 23:20
"How tall are you, son?"
"Ah'm six foot seven inches, ma'am!"
"Forget about the six foot, let's talk about the seven inches!"

Mae West, Myra Breckenridge.

2nd Nov 2014, 23:54
Barry .... also reputedly a Liverpool church... " Jesus Saves".
To which someone added... " But St.John scores from the rebound".

3rd Nov 2014, 01:26
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
Jian Ghomeshi.

3rd Nov 2014, 02:03
I sed to think "Legs Akimbo" was an African dance act until I discovered Smirnoff


3rd Nov 2014, 05:22
''I wish I'd said that, sir''

''You will, my boy, you will.''

Churchill to underling

3rd Nov 2014, 05:39

"I wish I'd said that" (by Oscar Wilde, to a witty remark by James McNeill Whistler), to which Whistler riposted: "You will, Oscar."

Quoted in "James McNeil Whistler" by Lisa N. Peters, p. 57, ISBN 1-880908-70-0.

3rd Nov 2014, 08:54
I stand corrected ORAC, thank you.

3rd Nov 2014, 08:59
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I go" - Oscar's last words.

barry lloyd
3rd Nov 2014, 09:22
At school many, many, years ago:

"Lloyd, give me an example of an oxymoron."
"Shirley Bassey in a low-cut dress singing 'I who have nothing' sir."
"Lloyd, come here..."

3rd Nov 2014, 09:47
"I thought I could smell petrol..."

- Niki Lauda

cockney steve
3rd Nov 2014, 12:06
"Watch that fxxer, he'll have someone's eye out "....... King Harold

3rd Nov 2014, 12:19
Noel Coward on Peter O'Toole as Lawrence of Arabia (The film)

"If he was any prettier it would be called Florence of Arabia"

flying lid
3rd Nov 2014, 13:51
A few years ago, painted on the outside wall of Walton prison, Liverpool

"Appearing soon -- Ken Dodd"

Only in Liverpool !!!!!!!!!!!


3rd Nov 2014, 13:54
The correct quotation from Dorothy Parker, for 421 ...

I like to drink a martini
But only two at the most
Three I'm under the table
Four I'm under the host.

As to the most famous last words ....
General John Sedgwick, Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse, 1864 (http://www.civilwarbattlefields.us/spotsylvania/sedgwick.html).

"The couldn't hit an elephant at this distance"

3rd Nov 2014, 14:45
The wonderful Kenny Everett featured a brace of questions to which viewers had to provide the questions. One week's answers were "Nine and a half inches", and "Tom Jones".

Rob Courtney
3rd Nov 2014, 16:17
There was an Armerican prisoner called James French who on his way to the Electric Chair in 1966 said to the assembled reporters

"Hows this for a headline, French Fries"

3rd Nov 2014, 16:44
On Radio 4 this morning this subject was touched upon. Didn't catch the deceased persons name, but his headstone read "Keep off the grass".

Neptunus Rex
3rd Nov 2014, 17:23
flying lid
Here's another:

"I thought Cirrhosis was a cloud…
Until I discovered Smirnoff!"


barry lloyd
3rd Nov 2014, 18:04
On Radio 4 this morning this subject was touched upon. Didn't catch the deceased persons name, but his headstone read "Keep off the grass".

Peter Ustinov

Juliet Sierra Papa
9th Nov 2014, 21:14
Came upon this interesting site (http://www.brainyquote.com/) whilst searching for famous quotes earlier. Thought some peeps here might appreciate it if not seen before. :ok:

9th Nov 2014, 22:57
Radio 1, silly answers to silly questions when 10 with Bo Derek and Dud Moore came out.

Noel Edmonds: what is the world coming to?

Housewife: Ravel's Bolero!

19th Nov 2014, 21:45
From a web page that listed the top ten most interesting quotes by people before their execution.
The best one was Marshal Ney, Napoleon's "Bravest of the Brave."

"After the defeat at Waterloo, Ney was hunted down and arrested.
After being taken into custody, he was found guilty of treason and sentenced to be executed by firing squad at the Luxembour Garden.
Living up to his nickname, Ney requested his own firing squad to do the job.
His last words were: “
Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart.
Wait for the order.
It will be my last to you.
I protest against my condemnation.
I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her.
Soldiers, fire!”
Not sure if those really were his last words, but if they are, then I'd say those are about the best of the famous last words I've seen.

tony draper
19th Nov 2014, 22:14
Pancho Villa on his deathbed,
"This is terrible,tell them I said something"

20th Nov 2014, 01:58
Two personal favourites:

Phrase most regularly preceding some kind of aerobatic related mishap:
"Watch this..."

Prisoner looking up at malfunctioning guillotine mechanism...
"Hang on, I think I can see what's wrong..."

Um... lifting...
20th Nov 2014, 02:24
Deliberately not saying who this is, but below are numerous quotes without any context. Without googling, does anyone know who said these things?

You can't make a soufflé rise twice.

If you haven't got anything good to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

He's taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!

the grass roots of 10,000 country clubs.

(and in speaking of her father) He wants to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral, and the baby at every christening.

20th Nov 2014, 03:52
I thought clap was a round of applause,

then I discovered Smirnoff! :)

(Um...Lifting - sound like the sort of things Joan Rivers would have said?)

Um... lifting...
20th Nov 2014, 04:22
'Fraid not. She was related (by birth) to some famous politicians in the U.S.

20th Nov 2014, 04:32
*To do is to be" (Camus)

"To be is to do" (Sartre)

"Dooby, dooby, doo" (Sinatra)

On the wall of the men's toilet of the Philosophy Department at UCL in 1960, but I suspect it was cribbed from elsewhere ...

20th Nov 2014, 06:19
Alice Roosevelt Longworth.

I lived in the Washington, D.C. area in the Seventies, when she was still in the news now and then, still famous for her barbed wit, which she often aimed at herself. For instance, she described herself as the only "topless octogenarian" in Washington after having undergone a double mastectomy.

Now, where is my 5 quid?

Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 00:03
I'm sure some will know this without the aid of GooGoo

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 00:05
Now, where is my 5 quid?

chuks, cheque's in the post. :ok:

22nd Nov 2014, 00:11
Graffito on a New York subway train in the 70s.
"I'm Gloria Mundi and I'm sick of the transit".

Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 00:21
Thus passes the glory of the world.
.......... :ok:

22nd Nov 2014, 02:05
A personal favourite, that reputedly appeared on a British subway wall.

Initially, this appeared ...


Shortly thereafter, this appeared underneath.


22nd Nov 2014, 07:28
People testing fountain pens (showing my age here) often used to write "Tempus fugit" (taken to mean "time flies") to see if a particular nib was the one they preferred, somewhat like using "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" for typewriters, because of the combination of verticals and rounded letters in the phrase.

So the saleslady presents another sample to the customer, saying, "Perhaps you would like to try this one too, Mr. Fugit?"

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Ian and Sylvia used to sing about arriving "before the snow flies," which we took to be a reference to some sort of insects found in northern latitudes. Are there any Canadians here who can give a fuller explanation?

22nd Nov 2014, 07:34
somewhat like using "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" for typewriters, because of the combination of verticals and rounded letters.

I thought it was because the sentence contained every letter of the alphabet?

22nd Nov 2014, 08:03
The comma between "typewriters" and "because" is restrictive, put there to refer to the previous reason for using "Tempus fugit" to test a pen nib, the shape of the letters. "No comma" would have given a different meaning, the one you just asked about, me erroneously saying that the shape of the letters should be the reason for using the sentence about the fox and the dog.

Take out the bit between the commas and read the sentence again to see what I mean by this, "... preferred because of the combination ... "

The sentence about the fox and the dog is used for a different reason, because of its using all the letters of the alphabet, yes. You can see how prone to jamming a mechanical typewriter is by typing that sentence quickly. It's the the original reason for the QWERTY keyboard layout.

22nd Nov 2014, 09:16

Yes, but it is jumps and not jumped.

22nd Nov 2014, 12:37
I'm sure some will know this without the aid of GooGoo

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.



Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 21:56

For sure..

Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 22:04
Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.


22nd Nov 2014, 22:25
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. ?

Juliet Sierra Papa
22nd Nov 2014, 22:45
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
The following is attributed to The Phrase Finder

The thought may be Stone Age but the phrase 'if it ain't broke don't fix it', which sounds as though it might come from the Roosevelt or Truman era, is more recent than that. This one is widely attributed to T. Bert (Thomas Bertram) Lance, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget in Jimmy Carter's 1977 administration.

23rd Nov 2014, 07:03
Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

..Wasn't that Charlie Dodgson
(aka Lewis Carrol) just before
he karked?

23rd Nov 2014, 20:02
Spike Milligan's gravestone epitaph:

'I told you I was ill.'