View Full Version : What Americans think of Belgians after they stole the game

2nd Jul 2014, 22:06

3rd Jul 2014, 08:04
I think most of us were pleased with the performance of the USA team, led by Klinsmann, a German, and have taken defeat by Belgium as a fair result. Weird, huh? Nobody has even been shot to death over this, as far as I know.

Perhaps we as a nation are growing soft.

Ancient Mariner
3rd Jul 2014, 08:20
Ann Coulter on football/soccer. I bet her views would please some of our resident not-left leaning, upright non-democrats. :E
Sorry about the line shifts, it is apparently the American way.

June 25, 2014

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.

Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.

(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.

(5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!

(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.

I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?

(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."

The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)

Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.

Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.


Roj approved
3rd Jul 2014, 08:35
I'm be surprised if most Americans could find Belgium on a map;)

Ancient Mariner
3rd Jul 2014, 08:51
Give them a map of Belgium, problem solved.

3rd Jul 2014, 08:56
Isn't Belgium where they put the French-invented mayonnaise on American-named french fries? :E

3rd Jul 2014, 09:06
Was talking to some Germans at the bar yesterday, they are a bit worried about the game on Friday against the French, I said "Don't know what the problem is, you beat them before, in fact it was a walk over" "When was that?" I was asked "1939" I replied, met with a wall of silence.

Barksdale Boy
3rd Jul 2014, 09:21
Or perhaps 1940.

3rd Jul 2014, 10:18
That woman is ignorant and mouthy. And ignorant. She's the one who was slagging off the widows of 9/11 victims, so that you can take whatever she writes as likely to be something that fell out of the stupid tree and hit most of its branches on the way down.

"No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer." Oh, really? She must have overlooked me, then. Of course, I have more than one great-grandfather, and I only am sure about one having been born in the USA; the others might have been born in Ireland or else Canada, but that part of our family history, the bit about Canada, we don't talk about much.

There are "people trying to push soccer" on Americans? Well, there are people trying to push all sorts of things on Americans; that is part of the "American way," I think, just one of the things that Superman came to America to fight for, along with Truth and Justice.

So this broad is dissing not just soccer but Superman? Shee-it! Next she will be getting down on John Wayne for being a draft-dodger! No, wait ....

3rd Jul 2014, 10:28
Belgians stole the game?

They pretty much outplayed the U.S. side the entire match. If not for Tim Howard, it could have been as ugly as an English v. France match.

3rd Jul 2014, 11:07
Is there any evidence Ann Coulter is actually female. Sounds and looks more like an "it" to me. :E

3rd Jul 2014, 11:23
I've been to Belgium - twice (I've driven through it many times, but I argue as long as I don't open the window that doesn't count). I went back last year to give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking perhaps my first experience was just an unfortunate one.

It wasn't. The entire country smells of dung. There is boring and there is boring. The only possible use for Belgium is as a short cut for the Wermacht to get to the coast.

Dons tin hat and retires to bunker........................

Having said that, one reason for the visit was to inspect Waterloo. What I didn't appreciate until I stood there is how small the area encompassing the battle actually is. It really is just a field - with a huge artifical mount in the centre (when Wellington saw it he complained "they've ruined my battlefield).

3rd Jul 2014, 12:45
Soccer: boring, silly

Did I mention boring?

As to America finding Belgium, personally, I've got three good markers to look for:

1. Ardennes American Cemetery and Memorial
2. Flanders Field American Cemetery and Memorial
3. Henri-Chapelle American Cemetery and Memorial.

There's some 13,000 + tour guides permanently based there.

3rd Jul 2014, 13:28
Well, if you say so, but it beats the average cemetery!

I am also a veteran and reasonably current on modern military history, but what of that?

I recently visited a German war cemetery in Flanders that had 50 thousand WWI dead neatly stacked in a space much smaller than a soccer field. Well, they had lost, both their lives and the war, so that they had to make do with rather humble mass graves, lists of about 20 or 30 names on each headstone.

Not far away, across the main highway, was just one of many British war cemeteries; there each grave had its own stone. Still dead at a young age, most of those interred there, when I doubt that getting an individual stone mattered much to most of them.

It's worthwhile to visit war cemeteries, to spare a thought for those who died for their countries, but there's much more to life than that. A good football (soccer to you, I guess) match can be very enjoyable, an occasion when someone really does win, but when even the losers come away with nothing worse than a few torn ligaments.

Sport's not so much like war. War means possibly having your country order you to take a very long "dirt nap" when you might be only in your teens. Now that is boring!

Some of you might need to get out more. Parts of Belgium are quite beautiful, but you need to get off the beaten track to see them. Any fool can go down the motorway with the windows up and feel that there's nothing of interest in the whole of northern Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and France: just a grey ribbon of road.

3rd Jul 2014, 13:42
The fact that Tim Howard had to make 16 saves during the game (The most any world cup goalkeeper has made since 1966) indicates a need to re-assess the defence and also that Belgium didnt steal anything. If not for Howard it would have been a much different story.
USA were good to watch though, as were Australia, even if they did lose every match.

Um... lifting...
3rd Jul 2014, 13:51
My countrymen who say soccer is boring invariably find another sport interesting. It's a sport that at the professional level:
requires a squad of 80 players to put 11 on the field;
causes a higher occurrence of brain injury than the infantry;
resets everything to where it was 20 seconds ago any time momentum is stopped;
goes through about 20 balls per game;
uses the most advanced electronics around except for a pair of idiots who carry two long sticks joined with a chain to make official measurements;
requires 'time-outs' for when the time already allotted for breaks in play is insufficient;
has more than 50% of its players meeting the criteria for morbid obesity;
is expressly designed to maximize advertising revenue through commercial play breaks to sell more crap nobody needs;
requires 3 hours minimum (4 during the playoffs, 5 for the Super Bowl, not including pre & post-game shows) for a game that by the rules is 60 minutes in duration;
and at maximum has non-stop action for perhaps 30 seconds at any one time.

It's a game for fat people to watch between trips to the fridge.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
Eugene McCarthy
US politician (1916 - 2005)

Oh, and lest we forget, the 25 highest scorers in the history of the pro game are virtually all... former soccer players. But they aren't really considered as 'players' because they're kickers. Now, if that isn't silly (and hypocritical), I'm not real sure what is.


3rd Jul 2014, 14:10

But to be fair, not all those who enjoy watching paint dry and/or soccer are lithe athletes themselves.

It's fine with me that some like non-American football/soccer.

I don't. Many other Americans, even some, gasp, Europeans, don't.

The world continues to revolve.

Um... lifting...
3rd Jul 2014, 14:19
Sure, but the World Cup comes on for a couple weeks every four years, during the deadest time of year for American sports, and the whining from the old frustrated players (who are ostensibly grown men and still eat like they're college offensive linemen in training) throughout is ridiculous to hear.

Watch it, don't watch it, I don't care, but either learn about it or keep quiet.

The NFL went to hell around the time Johnny Unitas retired.

3rd Jul 2014, 14:25
Watch it, don't watch it, I don't care, but either learn about it or keep quiet.

Mighty tolerant of you.

Mind if I ignore the instruction?

And soccer?

Probably not Belgium though. I've had some good times there.

Even without playing or even mentioning soccer/non-American football.

3rd Jul 2014, 15:14
I lived in the Washington D.C. area for about 8 years. There, the Washington Redskins had a cult of worshipers. Seriously, I once walked into the National Cathedral, mainly just to check out the swastikas on the Lafayette Escadrille memorial, when "Hail to the Redskins" came booming out of the Cathedral organ; they were practicing for some ceremony, perhaps the Blessing of the Jock Straps?

So I had this friend, another pilot, who was a big football fan. He invited me to come along to this pizza parlor out in Manassas, one with a big screen TV (a relative novelty at the time) to watch Superbowl XVII. It was going to be a real fun time for all, he promised. Even though I found American football to be almost as big a bore as baseball I agreed to come along.

When I got there the place was packed with happy Redskins fans, but then their team took a terrible drubbing. I was sat there happy as a clam as a funereal air descended upon the joint, because the poor old Redskins got stomped flat by the Raiders, 38:9. Now that was a good game!

The only match I ever attended in person was one between Kentucky and Alabama in Lexington, when I flew my redneck car dealer boss there in his nice, shiny-new V35 Bonanza. It was one of the last games coached by Bear Bryant, another victory for the Crimson Tide, but the best thing, for me, was listening to my boss lose his tiny mind about the mistakes being made by some "n*gger" out there on the field whom Bear had seemingly mistakenly sent out to play. I thought this jerk was going to have a stroke, jumping up and down shouting racial epithets! That was another fun game!

What was happening out on the field during those two games, well, I hadn't a clue, but the audience participation ... that was tops!

Here at home, during the football, my German wife keeps busy giving her team advice, "Lauf, lauf! Ach! Scheiße!" in a way that takes me back to that long-ago September afternoon in Lexington.

3rd Jul 2014, 15:26
Err, like the war, you can't mention the name of Washington's NFL team anymore.

At least not according to Barry and Harry.

Es verboten.

And you have the advantage, I've never been to a college or professional soccer/non-American football game.

A streak I intend to keep, but don't mind if others enjoy.

Hopefully, at least one thread contributor can see what I did there.

West Coast
3rd Jul 2014, 17:22
Muricans can't find Belgium..

Appears we're in good company

Britons' bad geography revealed: 74% of Britons can't even find Greece on a map | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-2586028/Britons-bad-geography-revealed-74-Britons-Greece-map.html)

3rd Jul 2014, 17:29
Now, now West, you've done went and surley stole the thunder from the Brits posting how dumb us poor Mericans are compared to them.

Now, reminded me again please, just how did England do in the World Cup? :p

3rd Jul 2014, 17:32
USMNT Reporter Melanie Collins Turns Heads At 2014 World Cup | The Daily Caller (http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/01/american-world-cup-reporter-melanie-collins-is-so-hot-you-might-watch-soccer/)

3rd Jul 2014, 17:35
As soon as I saw the thread title I wondered how long it would take :rolleyes:

3rd Jul 2014, 18:04
Ann Coulter is an airhead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmcZG87Fmxc

3rd Jul 2014, 18:07
Making serious money being so...

3rd Jul 2014, 18:50
"Bobby, there's something I need to tell you. Soccer was invented by European ladies to give them something to do while their husbands cooked dinner."

Actually it is a hoot to watch, except when the fan violence gets so bad they have to play in empty stadiums.

The only thing I can't fathom about the game is ending on penalty kicks. Exciting, sure, but what a dumb way to decide a winner.

Better to just remove one player at a time during overtime periods, and keep playing until that period ends and each side removes another. Keep going until the pitch is cleared out and four players remain to fight it out.

Make the coaches earn their keep, put strategy into their decisions, and give the fans something to talk about (when they're not cooking dinner).

3rd Jul 2014, 18:53

You can't just keep playing. 90 + 30 is enough for even the fittest people.

Remember, one team has to play again in a couple of days and if they played for 2 hours, they would be stuffed, regardless.

I think at one stage they did play two lots of extra time but would need to check.

3rd Jul 2014, 19:24
What Americans think of Belgians after they stole the game

I have no intention of reporting it missing.

4th Jul 2014, 09:02
The best-informed authority on international soccer I ever met was ...
,,, An attractive 30-year-old blonde ...
... American ...
... Living in Belgium

4th Jul 2014, 09:22
Ann Coulter is an airhead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmcZG87Fmxc

My goodness: aggressive, arrogant, and most of all dead wrong... does she work for Fox?

4th Jul 2014, 17:29
does she work for Fox?


But trust me, the progressive, so-called liberal Democrats have more than their share of the same. A lot more.

Lon More
4th Jul 2014, 18:15
This was going round the net earlier:O


4th Jul 2014, 19:37
My high school had a very good soccer team. The athletic foreign exchange student from Brazil helped a lot. :)

This was far more than ten years ago. :rolleyes:

Why say "Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer."? The American goalie got all kinds of kudos for blocking sixteen shots on goal. Pele is a name to conjure with.