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Keef
30th Apr 2014, 22:03
Twice in three days. First for over a year.

Phone rings. CLI displays a long number starting 001...
I answer. A thick Indian accent says "Good afternoon sir, this is Microsoft Windows helpdesk. Your computer has a fault which we need to help you to repair".

In times past I would have strung them along, but couldn't be bothered. "Did you say Windows? I don't run Windows on my Mac". Click.

con-pilot
30th Apr 2014, 22:08
Just do as I Keef.

Just don't answer the phone unless you know who is calling. If it is serious or important, or just someone you'd like to talk to, they'll leave a message.

Works very good for us.

tony draper
30th Apr 2014, 22:17
Tuesday is my day for the junk calls,first the silent one from a computer to see if anyone answers,then a lot from chaps with indian accents called Jonathan, Micheal, Simon and such,one has taught them a lot of short anglo saxon words over the years.
:rolleyes:

Keef
30th Apr 2014, 22:21
Trouble is, CP, quite a few of the calls from numbers I don't know are people who do need to talk to me.

There's a nifty device on the telephone that blocks "withheld" numbers, and any others I tell it to block. One or two people have tried to give me GBH of the ear'ole for not accepting withheld calls. My answer is "If you don't want me to know who's calling, why would you think I want to talk to you?"

500N
30th Apr 2014, 22:24
Keef

I just tell people to not call me from a Private number to
which some express surprise.

I ask them why they block the number when most of the people
they are calling know the number anyway ??? They tend to agree.


Re BS calls from people, I just hang up and if they persist, raise my voice
and slam the phone down. That tends to sort them out !

onemac
30th Apr 2014, 22:27
Hello Mr MacNeish...... this is Graham....

Please, call me Viswanatha Sivararmakr (a real name).....

Windows problems - don't you mean ਵਿਨ੍ਦੋਵ੍ਸ......

I'm sorry - I have a ਮਾਕ and therefore don't run ਵਿਨ੍ਦੋਵ੍ਸ......

I also work for Microsoft. Which department are you in?

Click........

Simples.

Al

SpringHeeledJack
30th Apr 2014, 22:32
The scourge of modern communications, yet no real effort by the authorities to tackle the problem. It IS stressful having to deal with these calls and/or ignore them and not being able to answer the phone without interrogating every caller as if they were an interloper. One can purchase a device as Keef seems to have, but I'm on the TPS (UK) for phone/mobile/post and still I get these calls all the time, although they tend to come in waves.

The Telcos could and should do something about it, yet they don't. I wonder why ? :ugh:



SHJ

Limeygal
30th Apr 2014, 22:37
We signed up for the "Do not call registry" for both the landline and cell phones. Problem is, it hasn't made any difference. The bastards still call. What I don't understand is the calls that just don't say anything. I have done a search online for the origin of them and find that lots of people get these silent calls-what is the point? Nobody calls afterwards. If the purpose is to piss me off-they have achieved their goal :sad:

Lon More
30th Apr 2014, 22:39
just put the phone down, let them ramble on; it's their dime, after about 20 minutes if they're still there I say, "Sorry I don't speak English" in my best peter Seller's accent and hang up.

Keef
30th Apr 2014, 22:45
The UK TPS is a waste of time, sadly. I tried it for some years. For a while, the UK-based junk calls stopped although the international ones continued.
Now, the UK-based ones are back. Complaining to the TPS has become much more difficult, and even if you manage to get a complaint into their system, nothing comes of it. I don't bother now.

The "silent calls" are often autodiallers that have called your number, but the scammers are all busy on other lines.

My little black box (40 a year or two ago) does a fine job. All I need to do is press the little black button on top while the pest is on the line, and the number is blocked from calling me again. I don't know what the thing's limiting number of blocked numbers is...

baggersup
1st May 2014, 00:19
Have a phone in the US that allows me to block up to about 200+ of these numbers once they've called.

It's a festivus miracle, as Kramer would say.

Unbelievably they do sometimes use the same number over and over again. Or at least 10 times or so, before they (whoever they are, I don't know because I never answer or talk to them), try again with another number. So hitting the block button does help a lot.

"Do Not Call" registry and having an unlisted number don't help anymore. It's very 20th century protection, in the day of computer generated robo-calls.

But it has cut down quite a bit on the 20 calls a day! :ugh:

M.Mouse
1st May 2014, 00:24
I must have too much time on my hands.

If a call from 'Windows' comes through when I am not too busy I pretend that I am very worried by what they tell me and do everything they say but pretend the line is bad and could they spell what they want me to type.

This continues, very slowly and laboriously (for them) until we get to the bit where they ask me to go to a particular website at which time I tell them I can't do that and when asked why I tell them that it is because they are lying crooks.

My record is 35 minutes with an Indian lady and when I refused to go to the website a male voice (her trainer perhaps) came on the line and threatened to come and **** my mother before ******* all my sisters! He became apoplectic when I started laughing because he was so angry!

I find it great sport and wasting their time gives me some small degree of satisfaction.

ManUtd1999
1st May 2014, 00:33
My friend (a whizz with IT) came up with the ultimate response to these calls. He played along to the point where they asked for his IP address to "help solve the problem". He then gave them some sort of code which accesses the computer it's entered on (I've no idea about the tech details), sat back and listened as they tried to hack their own computer :D

Dushan
1st May 2014, 00:41
My record is 35 minutes with an Indian lady and when I refused to go to the website a male voice (her trainer perhaps) came on the line and threatened to come and **** my mother before ******* all my sisters! He became apoplectic when I started laughing because he was so angry!

I find it great sport and wasting their time gives me some small degree of satisfaction.

My personal record is over an hour and 4 different "specialists" who could not understand why my and their computer were not connecting with the (fake) code I was giving them for various desktop sharing software they wanted me to install.

baggersup
1st May 2014, 01:00
A good friend of mine, originally from Wales, who lives in the U.S., answers the phone and only speaks Welsh to them.

She quite enjoys herself. :D

lomapaseo
1st May 2014, 01:39
I just ask them to send me an E-mail and hang up.

FlamantRose
1st May 2014, 01:40
We have similar problems in France with all sorts of calls from many companies. Always asian, north africans, african speaking girls on the phone. I have solved this problem since 2 decades by using a separate answering machine that is permanently on line and I posted 2 messages in french & english that stipulate " X and Y's private secretary will be only too happy to take your msg after the bip. Thk you ". This works wonderfully. If it's family or friends they know about it and when they say hello, we just pick up the phone. If it is one of these numerous unwanted outside calls, they hang up before the end of the msg and we hear the hang up tone. These firms that make these calls want to talk to us and not to a machine. They hate it as it's time wasted.

Hydromet
1st May 2014, 01:46
Had one yesterday, with the usual delay before they speak, then an Indian accent attached to an Anglo name, but this time they were trying to arrange an appointment for a 'solar heating inspection, as we will be working in your area'. When I asked what company he was from he hung up. As I'm on the 'Do not call' register, which seems to work quite well in preventing calls from within Australia, I assume some Australian company is using an offshore call centre to get around it.

I think next time this happens, I will make an appointment, in an effort to find out the company behind it and have them prosecuted, or at least waste as much of their time as humanly possible.

obgraham
1st May 2014, 03:36
Keef's caller called me last week. I quite enjoy these guys, but then I'm a lazy old retired geezer.
He wanted to speak "to the one who runs the computer", so I said "well there's just me and the dog, I'll let you speak to the dog."
Then I hear in the background "motherf****".
Then "my supervisor wants to speak to the dog".
We went back and forth over this, with a few more MF's exchanged and some barking sounds, until evidently they felt they better get on with trying to rob someone else, and hung up.

It was great fun. I hope he calls back!

cattletruck
1st May 2014, 04:20
My ex IT boss is a genius. Here is how he deals with it.

....I got a call from the "Windows Support Centre" asking for remote access so they could fix up problems in my computer. Had nothing better to do at the time, so got a beer from the fridge and masqueraded as a non-IT old-person for the next 35-40 minutes. To be honest, they were incredibly patient - as they waited for me to write down each command and take it to the computer at the other end of the house...periodically mistyping stuff and bringing back imaginary error messages to puzzle them. Eventually explained that the "Unable to connect to Internet" response was because we didn't have the internet - but noted that I was thinking about getting it and could they give me a return number so I could get their help once I had it. Hopefully, they'll now take me off their list....

acbus1
1st May 2014, 07:15
My little black box (40 a year or two ago) does a fine job.
Produced by the people you're trying to block.

Similar trick with anti virus software: the same people create the viruses.

...maybe, maybe not. ;)

BOAC
1st May 2014, 07:41
Certainly if I have time I do the same as others here, and enjoy dragging out the process. It is in a way a 'public service' as while they are wasting time talking to me they are not doing it to someone else.

The big problem with 'call-dissuading' services like TPS in the UK is that as said above, they have no jurisdiction on non-UK numbers, and VOIP numbers (my house has two) are completely untouchable (and untraceable) at present. (OK Keef, I'll stop calling:))

Like TD, it is also an opportunity to practice being quite offensive to an unwanted caller if you wish (some of the 'foreign gentlemen' I have spoken to over the years have been quite taken aback to hear things about their mother, but I fear my smutty talk has failed to arouse the female callers, sadly - and they are quite unlikely to complain to anyone, I feel....)

B Fraser
1st May 2014, 07:44
The Telcos could and should do something about it, yet they don't. I wonder why ?

Because they have an obligation to deliver the call. TPS won't work internationally until the ITU sort it out. Even then, it would depend on the signatory countries enforcing it within their borders. It's a bit like blaming W H Smith for the Daily Express not being fit to wipe your bum.

I string the buggers along and give answers relating to double glazing such as " I sometimes have difficulty opening windows, it can take ages, should I try WD-40 ?" or "my windows have a bug, I think it is bluebottle on the outside". It drives them mad.

:E

UniFoxOs
1st May 2014, 07:44
Recommended here on pprune, I bought the Truecall box. This does exactly what you want. Had it on the phone line for about 2 years, very few nuisance calls. Only downside was DIL had to use mobile to ring from her office because their switchboard doesn't give out the (DDI) number.

After a couple of years we had a power cut, the box lost its settings - didn't get round to resetting it at the time, and a year later we are still only just starting to get them again - have to RTFM and turn it on again.

Truecall was about GBP100 IIRC, neighbour asked me to set him up a similar box he'd bought out of the ads in the back of his Sunday newspaper. This came from a company in Bournemouth and was about GBP40. I suspect this is what Keef has. Works similar to the Truecall, but you have to block a number from the button on it, whereas with the Truecall you can do it from your handset where-ever you are in the house.

SpringHeeledJack
1st May 2014, 08:33
The Telcos could and should do something about it, yet they don't. I wonder why ?
Because they have an obligation to deliver the call. TPS won't work internationally until the ITU sort it out. Even then, it would depend on the signatory countries enforcing it within their borders. It's a bit like blaming W H Smith for the Daily Express not being fit to wipe your bum.


I don't agree mr fraser, all these calls could be described as unsolicited nuisance calls and therefore illegal especially as thousands or more likely 100's of thousands of people are being blighted by said companies. I'm sure that the software that the 'trucall' devices have is also available to the Telcos to act once a number has been flagged. These marketing/scam companies must purchase/rent batches of numbers and these could be denied them until it became unprofitable to operate.


SHJ

david1300
1st May 2014, 09:19
I let them get as far into their intro as my patience of the day will allow, then I interrupt saying "you need to speak to my dad" and yell "dad, it's for you", tell them hell be here soon and put the phone down next to the TV. Sometimes I'll shout into it that he's coming soon, (the reasons can be quite inventive), but generally I just let them hang up. Longest I've had someone Walton the line listening to TV was about 5 minutes, I think.

Sallyann1234
1st May 2014, 09:42
Another Truecall user here.
Anyone calling without CLI gets a polite message telling them to call again without withholding the number. Phone hasn't rung and I'm not disturbed.
Anyone calling that I don't want to hear, I press the hash key twice. They get a message telling them to f. off, and their number is permanently blocked.
Couldn't be simpler.

Keef
1st May 2014, 12:27
Works similar to the Truecall, but you have to block a number from the button on it, whereas with the Truecall you can do it from your handset where-ever you are in the house.

Pressing the black button is the easy way, but it can be done from the handset - dial **7# <number to block> #
It beeps after each # if you got it right.

The clever bit is that you can also block "ranges" of numbers.

Blacksheep
1st May 2014, 13:50
I have two answers for unsolicited callers.

"Hello, Can I speak to Mrs Jammy Blacksheep?"

1. In whispered voice mode . .

"Hi! I'm naked. Do you want to get naked with me? How big are your breasts? [or 'is your dong' depending on sex of caller] Mine is hard now. Oh, oh .... ooooH! Would you . . .

Most of them don't stay on the line this long :}

2. The other answer is to say in a hushed conspiratorial voice

"It's done. But there's blood all over the place!" Then hang up.

TWT
1st May 2014, 15:41
So what happens when the person you thought was an unsolicited caller turns out to be someone you know calling from someone else's phone ? ;)

onetrack
1st May 2014, 15:47
I find that playing the part of the village idiot, when the call comes from India, works just fine.
There's no telemarketer or scammer in this world that will try to hold a conversation with a village idiot for more than a few seconds. :)
Besides, playing the part of the village idiot, comes naturally to me. :)

MadsDad
1st May 2014, 16:01
One potential problem with ignoring the 'Number Unknown' calls. Had one such a few weeks ago which I answered with a 'grunt' followed by silence. Shortly after, from the other end, I got 'Mr. Mads, it's ..... hospital here'.

It was a call to rearrange an appointment I had booked (an earlier appointment for a cancellation had turned up) and did I want the earlier appointment. Of course, but since the caller was on a PABX it doesn't give number Id. at the receivers end.

So, is it worth answering the call if you don't know who it is?

SpringHeeledJack
1st May 2014, 16:06
Apart from the few who enjoy using various frustrating tactics to have a bit of sport with the telephonic miscreants, the rest of us are either half scared to answer the phone, especially around the evening meal times which often means that calls from people we do want to accept are often mixed in with those we don't, especially from abroad where the number often doesn't show up.. A pox on them all! :ugh::mad:



SHJ

DX Wombat
1st May 2014, 17:05
I've just had a good one. The usual Indian accent asking if he was speaking to Mrs Wombat - me, "No". In that case he wished to speak to Mr or Mrs Wombat was one of them there? Me, "No". Many of you will be aware that I live up one of the Pennine hills in West Yorkshire, England so when I was asked if the address being called was mine with all details correct until the last line which was given as Oklahoma, I nearly laughed out loud. Twit! It's not even in the same country. :rolleyes:

Democritus
1st May 2014, 22:03
The latest TrueCall Call Blocker for the UK has a facility where you can set 0800 marketing numbers, overseas calls, any other numbers like all the ex-wives numbers, so that they get the number unobtainable tone when they call. Friends calling from overseas just enter a three digit code I gave them and they get straight through.

Withheld numbers are asked to press a specific number on the keypad to get through if they have an existing business relationship with me, otherwise they are asked to please hang up and don't call me again. Cold callers don't bother trying to find the right number press as they know they won't get anywhere even if they do get through to me.

Best money I've ever spent on a technological gizmo - can't remember when I last had a marketing call......and the ex-wives never get through as they think I've moved!:E

axefurabz
1st May 2014, 23:16
It's weird how marketing calls really seem to upset some people. How difficult is it to hang up?

Do those of you who suffer this affliction arrange for somebody to remove adverts from magazines and newspapers before you look at them?

DX Wombat
2nd May 2014, 00:45
Axe, the calls are irritating because they invade a person's privacy. They are also danger to other people if made to, for example, nurses on night duty during the time they are meant to be sleeping. From personal experience it can be extremely difficult to get back to sleep. These days I sometimes find it difficult to get to the phone in time to answer it and as I am the primary contact for an elderly, sick relative living many miles away it is necessary that I answer all calls. I do not derive amusement or pleasure from the pain that can be caused by rushing to answer one of these calls.

lomapaseo
2nd May 2014, 03:49
Do those of you who suffer this affliction arrange for somebody to remove adverts from magazines and newspapers before you look at them?

I use to subscribe to the Newsweek magazine and save up a few to read for a cross country trip. The first thing I did was to riffle the pages and tear out all the Ad inserts and stuff them in the seat pocket. Then I could read in leisure knowing that it would be easy to find my place after lifting my hand with a drink without worry that the magazine would unfold to an Ad insert page.

Rather be Gardening
2nd May 2014, 07:32
Axe, most of these calls are not genuine marketing calls - they're scams. So, yes, I do object to having my time wasted by these malicious and dishonest callers. And as I've registered on the TPS to say I don't want to receive marketing calls, they're going to get fairly short shrift from me if they ignore that. The ICO link to report these calls is here:

https://www.snapsurveys.com/swh/surveylogin.asp?k=138312369469

Kim F
2nd May 2014, 07:44
The latest script they use here is saying that they are from Telstra and they have to disconnect my internet because of the problems it is causing. I like to tell them "OK, I only use the net for surfing porn, better off disconnecting it". That usually stumps them for a while before they go back to the beginning of the script and start again. I also like to ask them what they are wearing and start breathing heavily!

UniFoxOs
2nd May 2014, 08:04
Do those of you who suffer this affliction arrange for somebody to remove adverts from magazines and newspapers before you look at them?

No, but if buying a newspaper or magazine in a shop, all the advertising flyers get left in the shop.

james ozzie
2nd May 2014, 08:27
I think the old Microsoft tech thing is now getting sold on to new wannabe scammers by the previous guys. One gets a surge of these things, sometimes many in one day and then nothing for a few months. I suspect the scammers quickly realise that this is an old stunt now when they have no success. So then they flog the data base to some new sucker and it all repeats.

hoofie
2nd May 2014, 08:44
ManUtd1999 wrote:
He played along to the point where they asked for his IP address to "help solve the problem".

The code to give is "127.0.0.1". If they aren't too bright they won't notice its the loopback code which will them point straight back to the computer they are using.

onetrack
2nd May 2014, 08:53
Axefurabz:
It's weird how marketing calls really seem to upset some people. How difficult is it to hang up?Well ... the problem is, they never stop unless we apply some deterrent.
We have had up to 5 or 6 calls a day from the Indian scammers on the home phone, and I've had 2 or 3 a day on my mobile.
These people have hides like rhinoceroses, so they need to be regularly and effectively deterred.
We have no other deterrence options - until someone devises something that makes their handpiece explode, that we can instantly initiate over a landline, or even wirelessly. :)

SWMBO tries a different tack, by trying to prick their conscience as regards their dishonesty. I've told her she's wasting her time - but as a police superintendents daughter, she insists people intuitively know right from wrong. I tell her there's a lot of people that don't.

I advise her the people she speaks to on the line are probably getting 20c a day to work the lines - and if they fail to pull in a victim each day they probably get booted back onto the street, to scour roadside drains or the Ganges for lost coins, or to operate as a beggar.
In their situation, daily survival would take precedence over ethics. :(

birrddog
2nd May 2014, 09:39
And then there is this strategy...

mkdoogjic4I

Blacksheep
2nd May 2014, 13:33
It's weird how marketing calls really seem to upset some people. How difficult is it to hang up?After you've answered four or five hundred of them, it's far too tempting to annoy them as much as they annoy you. We get at least one every day, sometimes two or three, so I guess that over the past five years we've answered close to 2,000 of them. Most are between 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm when we've just got home and are busy with winding down and sorting out dinner and not sitting down next to the phone. You have to answer the call because it may be something important, but as soon as you hear that Philippino or Indian accent mis-pronouncing your wife's name it's so hard to resist being offensive.

ian16th
2nd May 2014, 15:09
I've just received a call to inform me that I have won a competition, that I never entered!

IT WAS TRUE! :ok:

It was from my satellite TV provider, and the prize is two tickets to a Wine Fair and tasting. :ok:

The event is in Johannesburg, 700 km away :}

radeng
2nd May 2014, 16:51
I had one the other week trying to interest me in solar heating and solar panels. I was told it would save 40% on my gas bill. When I said that was impossible, she started ranting that I shouldn't call her a liar because she was totally ethical.

Silly bitch didn't think how I could be absolutely certain they couldn't save ANYTHING on my gas bill.

There's no gas within 5 miles of the property!! She assumed that everyone has gas laid on.......I didn't get the chance to ask what 40% of nothing is....

Windy Militant
2nd May 2014, 23:10
My mum got one recently from a gent who called himself Gareth, trouble is he had such a strong Indian accent she couldn't use her usual tactic of claiming
"Dw i ddim yn deall saesneg"* as she was laughing too much. Needless to say Gareth rang off! ;)



* Welsh for "I don't understand English."

ExSp33db1rd
3rd May 2014, 07:11
No, but if buying a newspaper or magazine in a shop, all the advertising flyers get left in the shop. Ditto, one of our local shops even leaves a cardboard box beside the counter to dump then all in. Occasionally I gather up all the Estate Agent garbage that pours into our mailbox, and if having to walk through town on some project, re-delivery it back to them - ensuring of course that I always deliver a rivals' garbage, not their own ! Such fun !

If I want to sell my house I know I'll probably have to engage an agent, and already living in a house I'm not in the market to buy another ( and if I am ditto as for selling ) and even if I was interested, they NEVER publish the address, so that one could drive around and check it out.

Parasites.

( Ps. Don't tell me to put a No Junk Mail on my mailbox - Mrs. ExS insists on reading all the Supermarket rubbish, so that she can go and buy the "bargains" that she didn't even know she wanted - and rarely needed. Grrrr. )

late-joiner
3rd May 2014, 09:48
My friend (a whizz with IT) came up with the ultimate response to these calls. He played along to the point where they asked for his IP address to "help solve the problem". He then gave them some sort of code which accesses the computer it's entered on (I've no idea about the tech details), sat back and listened as they tried to hack their own computer :D

127.0.0.1 is the ip address you are referring to

Ascend Charlie
3rd May 2014, 11:46
(Rrring rrring....)
Me: hello

Philippino voice: good evening sirrr, you will be happy to know that from today all your calls will be free.....

Me: That's great, because Telstra is about to cut me off for not paying the bill!

Philippino voice: ........ beep beep beep

coatimundi
9th May 2014, 09:04
A new variation this morning - the usual "Susan" from Microsoft Windows in India, but this time telling me that my Microsoft Windows Certificate Number has been compromised. She actually called three times in quick succession even after I had fobbed her off two times. The third time I taught her some new swearwords....