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OFSO
31st Mar 2014, 20:09
Having seen two powered boot*-opening struts and pump from an old Mercedes in a scrap yard for sale - cheaply - I was thinking of building a toilet seat raising/lowering device which would automatically do the former for men and the latter for woman. As they approached. The mechanics and electronics are no problem but I am stuck on what sort of sensor to use. A tricky solution. Small cheap webcam comparing the approaching figure against a library of male/female shots ? Or infrared measuring body temperature ? (all the women I know have cold a*ses). Weight and/or weight/body mass sensor ?

Suggestions, please. You are helping to build (or at least automate) our future.

* Trunk for our trans-Atlantic cousins.

Dushan
31st Mar 2014, 20:12
The sensor should be part of the conveyor belt that takes the person to the said loo.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
31st Mar 2014, 20:19
Use a microwave detector - women always take their phones into the loo. Having worked the help desk briefly, you would not believe the number that managed to drop them in. Or just a pressure sensor on the top of the cistern - that's where they put them.

Takan Inchovit
31st Mar 2014, 20:21
Temperature sensor, wimin' are hotter. But make the seat default/fail open anyways.

Little cloud
31st Mar 2014, 20:23
I was thinking of building a toilet seat raising/lowering device which would automatically do the former for men and the latter for woman. As they approached.


What if the man needs a number 2?

TomJoad
31st Mar 2014, 20:27
The sensor should simply ask a question:

a. Women will reply by including at least a 10 minute discussion of something completely random.

b. They will never be wrong.

OFSO
31st Mar 2014, 20:31
I just thought of the answer. Rain detectors on the ground around the wc will detect urine falling, tripger the pump for the rams and the seat will go up.

(My wife tells me women NEVER miss the toilet when they pee and men ALWAYS do).

TomJoad
31st Mar 2014, 20:35
Ok on a serious note I would use something like a Raspberry Pie computer hooked up to say something like a load cell to measure weight (sensor to measure height if required). The computer could hold a look up table for percentile ratio body weight/height male to female. Would not be fool proof but it could be programmed by personal biometrics if for use by say a defined group of registered users (household, workplace).

Ps I claim a share of IP rights when you sell it to Apple they market it as the I Seat:cool:

Fox3WheresMyBanana
31st Mar 2014, 20:37
What if the man needs a number 2?

Ask the user their occupation as they enter. Politicians, for example, are always full of sh!t

I Seat? why not IP?

Solid Rust Twotter
31st Mar 2014, 21:13
Temp sensor at ground level to measure the heat radiated by feet. Women always have cold feet.

Windy Militant
31st Mar 2014, 21:15
How about using voice recognition, or voice control just ask the seat to go up or down. Might be a problem if you have a stammerer in the family. Failing that how about having an electronic lock worked by a swipe card so you can then programme the reader to recognise the card holder. ;)

Hobo
31st Mar 2014, 21:26
Little cloud What if the man needs a number 2?

OFSO is clearly serious in his quest to build a better 'Gary' (Glitter). Let's help him go through the motions.

Little cloud
31st Mar 2014, 21:27
If seat up is only for the male number 1 how about a sensor that if 'eye to eye' with a trouser snake it raises the seat.

Hydromet
31st Mar 2014, 21:31
Temp sensor at ground level to measure the heat radiated by feet. Women always have cold feet.Or you could have it at shoulder level - I always seem to get the cold shoulder from women.

probes
31st Mar 2014, 21:53
Hm. I was thinking about some voice recognition, too - like: "I'm a woman!" loud and clear (and polite) to the pot - but then, just "1" or "2" would do, too. After all, gender (to avoid nasty remarks) is not the issue, it's about 'up' or 'down'. If I'm not mistaken. :hmm:

DX Wombat
31st Mar 2014, 22:05
On the same line of thought as Probes - why not just a simple "Up" or "Down" command?

John Hill
31st Mar 2014, 23:29
I have actually seen a working version of one of these! It was a university project..:rolleyes:

There were pressure pads under the mat that detected when someone came in and turned around, seat down, otherwise seat up.

birrddog
31st Mar 2014, 23:53
Buy a seat from Toto, like this (http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/S300eS350e.aspx).

Caboclo
1st Apr 2014, 01:21
I just bought a fairly basic camera (Sony Nex-3N) which has face recognition capability. You take a pic of a face, and it remembers that face and automatically takes another pic whenever it sees it. Kind of silly in a camera, IMHO, but apparently face recognition is getting pretty common. If the john in question is to be used by a limited number of people, just program them all into a computer.

Jamesel
1st Apr 2014, 01:31
How about voice recognition of a fairly low order - For entry, ask a skill testing question & measure the average frequency of the reply? Lower for male, higher for female or young 'uns.

Ogre
1st Apr 2014, 02:07
RFID chip, surgically implanted in the body. You would have to implant it sonewhere that both sexes would wave the body part at the sensor when they require the seat to be down..

Of course these things only have a limited range, so you may have to wave the body part at the sensor from a close range......

acbus1
1st Apr 2014, 05:42
Install a logic gate.

Takan Inchovit
1st Apr 2014, 05:52
Surely there is an iPhone app that does all this for you?

cattletruck
1st Apr 2014, 05:54
Install a brain wave sensor.

Simple one track signal: Male, dunny seat up.
Complex ever changing signal: Female, dunny seat down.

Krystal n chips
1st Apr 2014, 05:56
" women always take their phones into the loo"

As indeed do men......Woodford, some years ago and a "terribly important M.o.D person enters the toilets, stands before the urinals and starts to unzip his flies....when, the mobile rings. The phone is held in the right hand, adjacent to the ear....alas, multi-tasking and a certain amount of dexterity with the left hand proved not to be within the capability of our hero, now desperately trying to source, point and discharge..... whilst having a conversation.

You have to be terribly important to take your phone with you to the toilet and not be able to ignore it for however long it takes therein.

Or a pillock.

probes
1st Apr 2014, 07:03
maybe some features of the extra-modern milking robots? :E

Lely Astronaut A3 Milking Robot - YouTube

SOPS
1st Apr 2014, 07:19
Sorry for being boring, but why complicate it? Why not just a switch a the door marked M and F? Would be an easy way.

FullOppositeRudder
1st Apr 2014, 07:22
Perhaps you can adapt this installation to incorporate the improvements:

http://i1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc361/InnocentBystander68/toilet_pc_workstation_zpsa7418d28.jpg

tony draper
1st Apr 2014, 07:24
Once came into the possession of a early CCTV motion detector system,it came with a light pen one could draw a single pixel on the camera output on the monitor screen,it had a variety of outputs,closing pair opening pair ect,that triggerd when light changed where that pixel was drawn, rigged this to the 24v door keep on me door entry system,so standing in front of me front door I could raise me hand above me head in front of the camera say 'open sesame' and with a buzz the front door would open.
Found this entertaining for about ten minutes then thought perhaps some tall burglar would accidentally inadvertently gain access to Draper tower,one disconnected it.
Still it gave one a couple of hours interesting pottering about,and we shedites need such stimulation lest we turn into civilians, I suggest the electric toilet seat would probably be entertaining for about half that time.
:rolleyes:

acbus1
1st Apr 2014, 08:02
You have to be terribly important to take your phone with you to the toilet and not be able to ignore it for however long it takes therein.

Or a pillock.
Or you realise that your task in hand (? :} ) takes precedence. If someone came up to me in the loo and demanded attention while I was dumping waste, I'd tell them to pi$$ off.

OK, maybe not those exact words - telling someone to pi$$ off in a loo is a bit risky.

Amazes me how so many peeps drop everything (back in the loo again :} ) just because their phone rings. Ignore it. Either they'll try later or it wasn't important. Is there some sort of 'baby crying' instinct in play here?

indiscipline_girl
1st Apr 2014, 08:34
Just get one of these and enjoy the health advantages of a squat toilet with more complete evacuation.

http://media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/kira-toilet.jpg

emergency000
1st Apr 2014, 09:06
Install a logic gate.

:D:D:D

Slight downside to that plan: the women could never get the toilet seat up at all! :p

onetrack
1st Apr 2014, 09:50
After reading the initial post and suddenly recalling the Automatic Tampon Remover joke - I have to force back this dreadful overwhelming fear of ever visiting OFSO's residence, and having to use his new, fully-automated 'loo ... :suspect:

OFSO
1st Apr 2014, 12:04
this dreadful overwhelming fear of ever visiting OFSO's residence

Now you know why you weren't invited when you were last in Spain ! You should have seen what I've done with a surplus bovine milking machine....you can invite all your mates round, and (cont page 94).

onetrack
1st Apr 2014, 13:45
You should have seen what I've done with a surplus bovine milking machine....The mind boggles, and the images in my brain are searing my brain cells. I'm still mentally fragile from the after-effects of the visit to Salvador Dali's museum/theatre in Figueres. :)

Capot
1st Apr 2014, 13:53
If the user requires the seat to be up, he will approach it moving forwards. If the user (male or female) requires it down, his or her final approach will be bottom first. Any sensor worth its salt would be able to distinguish which way the user is facing, and smartly move the seat to the right position.

MagnusP
1st Apr 2014, 14:00
You should have seen what I've done with a surplus bovine milking machine....

Is that the automated "glory hole" I've been reading about? :E

angels
1st Apr 2014, 15:24
The trouble is, it doesn't stop until it's got a pint.....:eek:

P6 Driver
1st Apr 2014, 17:54
Forget the complicated electronics. Just have your manservant reposition the seat according to your verbal instructions. And do the appropriate wiping following the No.2 of course.

Windy Militant
1st Apr 2014, 19:06
I suggest the electric toilet seat would probably be entertaining for about half that time.
Au contraire Mr D the novelty of an electric raising seat would soon wear off but an electric seat especially one with a remote control would give a lifetimes fun.:E

tony draper
1st Apr 2014, 19:20
Best bog joke I ever heard of,mate on holiday sitting in pub, wifey gets up and retires to ladies room,as she is gone bell rings behind bar and locals start to titter and chortle, one tells him later they have a full length picture of male nude on the back of the door in ladies toilet,vital bits covered by hinged fig leaf,cunningly contrived to ring a bell whenever the person seated reaches forth and lifts fig leaf,:rolleyes:
Prolly be regarded as a bit sexist these days,the fluffist would probably insist they have a full length male nude on the back of the door in the gents bog as well,
:uhoh:

SawMan
2nd Apr 2014, 01:40
It's not whether the seat is down for the ladies, it's that the seat is dirty :suspect: A self-sanitizing seat would be a far easier approach. Or just pee in the bathtub so the toilet seat stays clean- it's harder to miss there anyway :eek:

onetrack
2nd Apr 2014, 01:45
Tony - And the bell never failed to ring, every time a woman used the 'loo? :) ... and they claim men are the primary voyeurs?? :rolleyes:

OFSO
2nd Apr 2014, 12:24
I've had to fit ball sockets on the underside of the toilet seat to accomodate slight angular movement of the rams as they extend. A hole through the wall means the pump can be placed in the fitted cupboard in the bedroom adjoining. My old motherboard running XP will be controlling things. Still unsure about those sensors, though. I think seat should be default position up and lower when a female person enters the bathroom. Mrs OFSO being a female person herself thinks it should be the other way around. Other possibility is default position is at 45 and it goes up for men and down for wimmin'. And what to do about transsexuals awaiting surgery ?

awblain
2nd Apr 2014, 12:26
What to do about transexuals awaiting surgery?

If your machine goes wrong, the transexuals awaiting surgery might get to skip the waiting list.

OFSO
2nd Apr 2014, 12:33
I've posted a picture of me in my bathroom on the appropriate JB page.

I agree with your comment but it's likely to affect men turning into women awaiting surgery or women turning into men after surgery. More programming necessary !

moosp
2nd Apr 2014, 12:36
OFSO you have WAY too much time on your hands.

But then maybe so have I, after all, I'm still reading the thread...

probes
2nd Apr 2014, 14:33
I've posted a picture of me in my bathroom on the appropriate JB page.
that dilutes my puzzlement about whether you need the installation next to the hand-wash-basin. :ouch:

OFSO
2nd Apr 2014, 15:21
OFSO you have WAY too much time on your hands.

Not the only thing I have on my hands, working around the toilet basin.....

airship
2nd Apr 2014, 19:00
OFSO, shame on you! You're well-off enough (so far as previous posts on JB go) to be able to pay a plumber to install a 2nd toilet* for your or Madame OFSO's exclusive use...?! Help keep the official (or unofficial) Spanish economy going! :ok:

(* 2nd WC installed "side by side" with existing one - if space available, materials <= EUR 250 + plumber's labour charge 1 day max.).

probes
2nd Apr 2014, 19:05
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkTV-K8lWOhlDenyJdJw43L0NAmfu7wNWvg-iRy8k0vopCundI

Boudreaux Bob
2nd Apr 2014, 19:41
Simple Laser light thing, anything over two Axe Handles wide at the Hips and down goes the Seat! Mind you better tell SWMBO it works by foot size.

simon brown
2nd Apr 2014, 20:05
No one seems to have spotted the fact the male might want to take a dump

The seat should always resort to the down position, leaving a simple button to raise it for males wishing to take a Piss.This way you have 66.66% of all situations covered with no supposedly clever electronics that wont work. This will also extend the life of the mechanism

Are we to assume with the voice activated system we males are to speak somewhat higher in order to activate the seat lowering so we can take a dump? or insert 2 melons under our shirts for the visual recognition process?


Simples

John Hill
2nd Apr 2014, 20:11
No one seems to have spotted the fact the male might want to take a dump

Except for those who proposed detecting which way the occupant was facing!

My suggestion is use a pressure switch under the mat to count the number of foot falls when someone enters. The seat is normally up but goes down when anyone shuffles around to present their butt to the porcelain.

Solid Rust Twotter
3rd Apr 2014, 06:37
...The seat should always resort to the down position...


And admit defeat? Never!

Avtrician
3rd Apr 2014, 07:24
A very silly idea I know, but how about a two position toggle switch, with labels saying seat up, seat down.....

:cool:

tony draper
3rd Apr 2014, 07:51
Facial recognition software! with a slight adjustment should be able to tell the difference betwixt a arse and a face coming toward it,hmmm on second thoughts,perhaps not.
:rolleyes:

PingDit
3rd Apr 2014, 10:12
Leave the seat down permanently and sit when you pee to improve prostate health and help your sex life!

Could Peeing Sitting Down Help Your Sex Life? | Men's Fitness (http://www.mensfitness.com/blogs/could-peeing-sitting-down-help-your-sex-life)

MagnusP
3rd Apr 2014, 11:08
Well, PingDit wins the thread as far as I'm concerned!

PingDit
3rd Apr 2014, 12:21
Thank you kind Sir!

http://i1142.photobucket.com/albums/n608/PingDit/Cigar.jpg (http://s1142.photobucket.com/user/PingDit/media/Cigar.jpg.html)

OFSO
3rd Apr 2014, 13:10
sit when you pee

I may be deformed in that area, however I find my bladder doesn't empty completely when micturating in the sitting position. On resuming a standing position a few cc's of urine then trickles out of my bladder and down the tube.....

Rossian
3rd Apr 2014, 13:19
....I seem to remember "gingernut" having an explanation and a solution to this problem. I seem to remember it involved pressing on the area immediately behind the scrotum because there is a kink in the down going tube.

Perhaps someone can alert the aforesaid Ginger to allow him the full story.

The Ancient Mariner

OFSO
3rd Apr 2014, 13:29
pressing on the area immediately behind the scrotum because there is a kink in the down going tube.

Ah yes ! More than one in fact:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2GmzyeeXnQ

OFSO
3rd Apr 2014, 17:25
the seat comes down on full power in mid-pee

One doesn't need a powered seat to experience this. There are a lot of manual seats that don't stay up. The house I use in London needs the seat raising and holding, an inconvenience when needing both hands to hold and aim one's willy. If you don't hold the seat up it descends at some random interval expresed by the formula (deleted as I got bored working it out) and as suggested by henry, one has to throttle back to zero as the seat is in transit and then open ones bladder valve again and fire through the hole of the seat.

A power-operated seat with the default set as "up" will prevent this.

airship
3rd Apr 2014, 17:49
A power-operated seat with the default set as "seat down" would only require:

1) A manually-operated push-button for OFSO to push when required to raise the seat, and
2) A very simple float-switch installed in the WC tank to detect a flush and "reset" to the default "seat down" position afterwards. :ok:

PS. Aren't those fancy Japanese loos which give you a warm rinse etc. also equipped with facial (or should that be anal) recognition software or summat? :confused:

onetrack
4th Apr 2014, 02:16
Anal recognition software would have to be a firm requirement. This is because its basis is infallible - unlike facial recognition software, which would have an unacceptable failure rate, due to the constant high level of confusion errors. :(

Even if the scanned person is a tranny, the anal recognition software programming is still infallible. :)

However, it would have to be fast software with the latest, most powerful processor - because you only get milliseconds sometimes between the duds or knickers coming down, and the stream commencing. :eek:

awblain
4th Apr 2014, 10:18
Japanese electrically-heated seats are already in service, so the safety issues of power to the seat are dealt with.

If I remember, they also have power lid/seat moving controls, but since there's also all manner of sprays and air blasts available from the same control panel, I've never braved their use.

MagnusP
4th Apr 2014, 11:42
The house I use in London needs the seat raising and holding,

Same in our downstairs loo. I stand at the side and hold the seat up with the side of my knee. :rolleyes:

Solid Rust Twotter
4th Apr 2014, 12:50
That generally happens because of the frilly crap the fairer sex insist on hanging on the bog. Removing it and disposing of the evidence is one of those games we men play to keep our stalking and hunting skills sharp.

funfly
4th Apr 2014, 13:00
The anal recogniser would have to cope with most people 'o' and ex con's 'O'.
...and '8' for ladies?

acbus1
4th Apr 2014, 14:27
Could Peeing Sitting Down Help Your Sex Life? | Men's Fitness

What a useless suggestion;

(a) The bowl is cold.

(b) The end gets wet.

OFSO
5th Apr 2014, 07:19
The anal recogniser

Stop making innuendos about products manufactured in Italy.