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View Full Version : I'm having a conscious uncoupling moment!


Thomas coupling
26th Mar 2014, 11:20
With all that 'goes on' around the world, two very well known individuals from cloud cuckoo land (hollywood) have decided that their divorce must go viral, so they tell every man and his dog that they are having a: "conscious uncoupling" :ugh:
Don't you just love these creatures of human society?
Their two children (Apple and Moses - bless them) will be similarly uncoupled by the news too.
I'm glad the worlds press have chosen to find a slot for this news break, amongst the rest of our worldy news like poverty, mud slides, global economic decline.....so glad.:rolleyes::mad:

Could one argue that another word for Conscious Uncoupling, might be: Losing your mind?

Alloa Akbar
26th Mar 2014, 11:24
And do we think Ms Paltrow's PR people scheduled the announcement on the same day she was announced as the world's most beautiful woman by coincidence?

And secondly, are Chris Martin and Jenson Button one and the same man??

http://www.lapatilla.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/separados16.jpg

The SSK
26th Mar 2014, 11:25
Surely conscious (or unconscious) uncoupling is something that occurs after sex. Depends whether you have fallen asleep or not.

Takan Inchovit
26th Mar 2014, 11:25
Perhaps they should be having a "Pro-singling?"

SpringHeeledJack
26th Mar 2014, 12:12
And secondly, are Chris Martin and Jenson Button one and the same man??

Stay off the juice mr alloa :}

I enjoyed Ms Paltrow performance in 'The Royal Tennenbaums' and she seems a competent actress, but when one listens to her spouting her life philosophy, aimed at women who cannot hope to emulate her feathered position one finds a grating of the senses occurs. So up her fundament as not to see the irony of it all. The 'conscious uncoupling' moniker to describe her relationship ending says more about her than I ever could…



SHJ

maxred
26th Mar 2014, 12:25
She always struck me as a reasonably unappealing wee lassie.

Caught up in her own star methinks, and, he is, well, arty:confused:

A conscious uncoupling, would suggest that each had Velcro implants fitted at one stage, keeping the pair of them 'coupled', each and every moment. Beverly Hills surgeons apparently will do it for a few thousand dollars.

When the time comes to, uncouple, easy peasy, just undo the Velcro implants.

According to the Beeb this morning, each has welled up in sadness at the event::8

Heart currently bleeding for the pair......

Dak Man
26th Mar 2014, 13:10
The only item that has de-coupled is the one brain cell pair that they shared.

onetrack
26th Mar 2014, 13:17
http://www.luvsgifts.co.uk/ekmps/shops/luvgifts/images/tell-someone-who-gives-a-shit-mad-mug-[2]-618-p.jpg

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 13:31
Ms. Paltrow has always grated on my nerves in a big way. She seems to me to be the kind of person who has forgotten that their shit does indeed stink.

Chris Martin will realize eventually that their separation is a very good thing for him.

vulcanised
26th Mar 2014, 13:37
Ms. Paltrow has always grated on my nerves in a big way


Likewise. Never found her attractive or amusing.

superq7
26th Mar 2014, 13:42
I suspect CM has been consciously coupling someone else leading too the said uncoupling :E

Lonewolf_50
26th Mar 2014, 13:42
TC:

Conscious uncoupling happens about when her husband comes home unexpectedly. :eek:

In re the two dudes who are not the same dude. The whole "I am not sure if I am shaving or growing a beard" look is lame. Both of those nitwits could use a smack upside the head.

onetrack: well said, love the picture. It has been saved for future use. :ok:

er340790
26th Mar 2014, 14:28
It seems I am not alone here in my dislike for GP...

Where to start?????

I LOATHE HER! I HATE HER VANILLA PERSONALITY, HER INSIPID, TALENTLESS 'ACTING', HER ABILITY TO GENERATE IN ME SUCH FEELINGS OF REVULSION FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, THE FEELINGS OF 'GOD I WISH I WERE DEAD RATHER THAN BE OFFENDED BY HER SCREEN-PRESENCE FOR ONE MORE SECOND OF MY LIFE', THE aaaarrrgghhhhhhh!!!!

Sorry, did I say dislike???

Mmmmmm PATHALOGICAL HATRED, perhaps.

Rant Mode: Off ;)

beaufort1
26th Mar 2014, 14:31
They've just had an 'intelligence emotional' expert on the BBC discussing this. :hmm:

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 14:33
er34....

Hey, don't hold back. Tell us how your really feel about Ms. Paltow. :}

The SSK
26th Mar 2014, 14:46
Tell you what, er

For a (substantial) consideration I'll swap consciousness of Ms P with you.

You see, although I've vaguely heard of her, I've never heard her speak, let alone act, nor do I ever recall having seen her, I couldn't reliably pick her out if she was standing in a line of grannies at the Post Office counter.

I've heard Chris Martin sing on the wireless, at least if he's the one in that Coldplay beat combo.

BlueDiamond
26th Mar 2014, 14:54
We should probably expect no less from parents who named their child after a piece of fruit. I was a bit disappointed when the second was named Moses ... it should have been Lychee or Avocado or something equally botanical.

But back to the topic ... I suppose by referring to it as "conscious" uncoupling they mean the decision was made while they were awake. How clever.

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 14:55
The SSK:

This is of whom we speak:

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/gwyneth-paltrow-premiere-thanks-for-sharing-04.jpg

And, yes, Chris Martin is the lead singer for the pop band Coldplay.

MagnusP
26th Mar 2014, 15:45
Aww, c'mon! In fairness, she got the kit off in Shakespeare In Love which was quite a jolly romp.

tony draper
26th Mar 2014, 16:01
I haven't a clue who either of them are so am utterly indifferent to the event.
:)

Solid Rust Twotter
26th Mar 2014, 16:30
There's 30 seconds of my life I won't get back...:hmm:

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 16:30
Tony D:

You're not missing much. At all. Hearing all this clap-trap about celebritys' marriage lives is not dissimilar to observing paint drying on the wall.

Tankertrashnav
26th Mar 2014, 16:35
Aww come on Tony. Even I'd heard of Ms Paltrow, although it was only when I heard her yacking on the news today I realised she was American (had seen her doing a fair stab at an English accent in Shakespeare in Love, so I assumed she was one of ours).

No idea who the bloke is, though. Vaguely heard of Coldplay. Are they/is he English?

No don't bother, I dont care either :*

tony draper
26th Mar 2014, 16:39
In Shakespear's time nobody spoke Hollywood English they spoke like us Geordies.
:rolleyes:

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 16:55
Tony D wrote:

In Shakespear's time nobody spoke Hollywood English they spoke like us Geordies.

Not according to my ex. (Oh she of the Liverpool area). According to her a true Englishman, or woman, only speaks Scouse. And as an American who am I to argue?! :}

RedhillPhil
26th Mar 2014, 18:01
Gwyneth Paltrow. Too much money being controlled by too little brain.

dubbleyew eight
26th Mar 2014, 18:33
paltrow beautiful ?????? sez who?

try...
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9lux-WzWwXnVXF7_DJGCsuyNwWvVUQnzIvBmKANU7ILrsxPal

and ...
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvu-xqT5HmJ2-bfS9agb-DukbnemYz7nvmOYHmd7r8cjwyRSebZA

there's beautiful!

vulcanised
26th Mar 2014, 18:48
I would have thought conscious uncoupling was just another way of describing coitus interruptus.

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 19:00
Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ms. Paltrow is far from beautiful to my eyes. However..............

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2012/03/cheryl-burke/11-cheryl-burke.jpg

Or, even....

http://croobal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Kelly-Monaco-video1.jpg

thing
26th Mar 2014, 19:18
Who dat second one RG? Both tasty but the second one is rather mint.

Dubbleyew 8 who's the totty in your photos?

I've head of Chris Martin and Gladys Poltroon but couldn't name a photo of them. Well I could know because I've just seen them. Certainly couldn't name a Coldplay tune, although I gather they are popular.

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 19:26
thing:

The 2nd photo is of my wife. Next question?

Now that I got that wishful thinking out of my mind: it's Kelly Monaco. Yum, yum.

thing
26th Mar 2014, 19:39
Mmm, quick Google reveals she is a reality TV personality. No brains then. Just the way I like 'em.:)

Tankertrashnav
26th Mar 2014, 19:40
I think the general thinking is that neither Drapes nor RGB's ex is right, but that the Elizabethans sounded more West Country than anything else.

There are a couple of recordings on here where they have a go at what Shakespeare's stuff may have sounded like when he wrote it.

How should Shakespeare really sound? - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/9143302/How-should-Shakespeare-really-sound.html)

Aren't there some islands just off the East coast of the NW USA where they still sound like they come from Devon?

Great how JB can convert a thread on a piece of non-news into an interesting discussion on accents (not forgetting a nice pic of RGB's missus :ok: )

Windy Militant
26th Mar 2014, 19:58
I thought Will was a brummie!
The one thing I really can't understand is how she got the name Gwyneth?
The only connection I can see is Pennsylvania, but her lot were supposed to be Cloggies not Viet Taff. It's all rather confusing! :confused:

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 20:05
Windy:

It's my understanding that the name Gwyenth is Welsh in origin. Not that she has any Welsh blood in her but, that's the origin of her given name.

Windy Militant
26th Mar 2014, 20:17
Windy:

It's my understanding that the name Gwyenth is Welsh in origin. Not that she has any Welsh blood in her but, that's the origin of her given name.

Yes I know it's Welsh, but what's bugging me is why did she get said moniker. Is it like all the Angharad's we had after Angharad Rees starred as Demelza in the BBC drama series Poldark! :}

angels
26th Mar 2014, 20:18
By heck. I thought she was Welsh!! Then I realised I have her mixed up with the Doris who married Michael Douglas! Of course I've forgotten her name now.

Will have to googoo. :rolleyes:

Windy Militant
26th Mar 2014, 20:20
You mean her from Swansea, Catherine Zeta Jones! ;)

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 20:22
Oh, I thought Catherine Zeta Jones was Australian.

Oh well. A bit off I guess*.

Stupid American. What a dumb ass. :}

*in my own defense though: isn't Wales part of Australia? You know, where the Abi-originals live?

angels
26th Mar 2014, 20:31
Ah yes, that was her. Thanks.

Windy Militant
26th Mar 2014, 21:08
Were you thinking of New South Wales? Or maybe Patagonia they're both down South! :}

Mr Optimistic
26th Mar 2014, 21:13
Scouse is obviously the sound of true England. What I want to know is who buys the precious bloody woman's books. They need to be found and some righteous justice dispensed.

SpringHeeledJack
26th Mar 2014, 22:10
Aren't there some islands just off the East coast of the NW USA where they still sound like they come from Devon?

The people of Ocracoke Islands have an Elizabethan accent apparently, although it sounds a bit Norfolk/Suffolk to me. All the same very endearing.

More on the Ocracoke Brogue | Dialect Blog (http://dialectblog.com/2011/07/07/ocracoke-brogue/)

Back to GP, trying desperately, whilst gliding along like a swan to 'rebrand' divorce and a failed relationship. It must be tough for her to have this happen in her perfumed perfect world :hmm:



SHJ

meadowrun
26th Mar 2014, 23:26
I am pretty sure I had an unconscious coupling moment once. The vixen!

PLovett
26th Mar 2014, 23:27
It must be tough for her to have this happen in her perfumed perfect world

Nah.......Hollywood trash marriages have the shelf life of a bucket of prawns in the sun. I reckon the PR hacks tell 'em when its time to move on, media coverage and all that. :rolleyes:

Driven by the demand of non-entities of the great unwashed who have nothing better to do with their lives than watch television and procreate in ever increasing numbers. :yuk:

ShyTorque
26th Mar 2014, 23:32
I think she's a very pretty lass while she's just smiling but then she'd probably open her mouth a bit more and spoil the situation in seconds.

Mind you, I've seen more meat on a butcher's pencil.

ShyTorque
26th Mar 2014, 23:36
where the Abi-originals live?

Rgbrock1, no they live in Sweden. Damned good music in their day, Mama Mia!

Tankertrashnav
27th Mar 2014, 00:45
Oh, I thought Catherine Zeta Jones was Australian.



Nah, you're thinking of Olivia Newton John ;)

SHJ - Thanks for the info on the Ocracroke Islands - great name too!

PacWest
27th Mar 2014, 07:05
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/26/article-2589837-1C94E7C900000578-11_634x772.jpg

sitigeltfel
27th Mar 2014, 07:52
Uncoupling explained.........

nMoWFDGzQNs

Tankertrashnav
27th Mar 2014, 11:07
Now that is interesting :ok:

rgbrock1
27th Mar 2014, 13:23
and procreate in ever increasing numbers.

And the problem with this is?

Fox3WheresMyBanana
27th Mar 2014, 13:31
Daily Telegraph
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin 'announce split from Bahamas'

:eek:
I didn't even know they were married to The Bahamas !!

rgbrock1
27th Mar 2014, 13:33
Fox3:

You must have misread it. Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow have announced their split from bananas. Thus, they are a banana split. :}:}:}

hat, coat, jump boots, whooosh.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
27th Mar 2014, 13:44
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldhpck49No1qf3nkxo1_500.jpg
Paltrow

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/eb/Gwyneth_Paltrow_avp_Iron_Man_3_Paris_2.jpg/220px-Gwyneth_Paltrow_avp_Iron_Man_3_Paris_2.jpg
Bingo

I think you have it, RGB. I see the resemblance now :ok:

rgbrock1
27th Mar 2014, 13:47
Fox3:

Interesting. And was Bingo his name-o? :}:}:E

MagnusP
27th Mar 2014, 13:56
Thanks for that, rgb, I believe I've now lost the will to live . . .

rgbrock1
27th Mar 2014, 14:03
Why MagnusP, didn't you enjoy-o Bingo was his name-o as a child-o?

Poor bastard.

Well, just in case-o, you miss Bingo, here we go-o:

9hWcv6fGe9w

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Mar 2014, 21:45
Wonder what she charges to haunt a four bedroom house?

bnt
27th Mar 2014, 21:57
I have absolutely no problem with GP as an actress e.g. she added a much-needed dose of humanity to Seven while she was on the screen - which (if you've seen the film) wasn't all that long. :eek:

But the idea that she's some kind of health or lifestyle guru, well ... no.

funfly
27th Mar 2014, 23:47
It always surprises me how there seems to be many young people with little or no talent and of whom I have never heard are suddenly multi billionaires top socialites and who everyone else seems to know all about.

thing
27th Mar 2014, 23:51
there seems to be many young people with little or no talent...are suddenly multi billionaires

Probably not as talentless as we think then maybe?

tartare
28th Mar 2014, 00:35
I'd give her one.
But I wouldn't hang around for breakfast.
It'd be f*cking fruit, muesli, granola toast.
Whereas I'm an eggs benedict man...

Cacophonix
28th Mar 2014, 00:53
How long can one couple for? I mean you meet her, you couple surely, then you couple again (and maybe N times after that) but then you simply get sick of her (or she of you) after not having coupled for some time...

Call it boredom, call it ennui, as a male I just call her a bitch...

Caco

obgraham
28th Mar 2014, 02:54
I never quite figured out how she always looks like she has just sucked on a lemon.

Something wrong with this cold-day dude?

Solid Rust Twotter
28th Mar 2014, 06:28
...Whereas I'm an eggs benedict man...


Not steak, Mr Tartare...?