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Flash2001
25th Mar 2014, 22:35
The most dangerous thing in the Army is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.

The most dangerous thing in a house is a housewife with a tape measure.

The most dangerous thing on a construction site is a man with a clean white hard hat and a clipboard.

I invite further contributions.

Flash

500N
25th Mar 2014, 22:36
I can disprove the first one :O

Capetonian
25th Mar 2014, 23:26
A female driver in a Range Rover?
A new 80,000 Range Rover with less 500 miles on the clock is likely to be written off after it careered off road and got stuck between a wall and a basement.

The female driver and three passengers escaped unscathed after the 4x4 crashed through railings on a residential street, across the pavement, and then plunged down a 14 foot drop to become wedged between a wall and basement.



http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02862/range-rover_2862662b.jpg

Seldomfitforpurpose
25th Mar 2014, 23:29
I can disprove the first one :O



Suddenly it all becomes clear :p

500N
25th Mar 2014, 23:31
SFFP

I was a digger first ;) but would have been OK at Nav anyway as I already knew how to Nav.

tartare
26th Mar 2014, 00:55
..is a PPL with about 500 hours in the logbook.
Familiar enough with it to start being a little slack; not experienced enough to recognise the more subtle signs of danger.

500N
26th Mar 2014, 01:41
AW Blain and anything to do with aircraft, especially helicopters !

onetrack
26th Mar 2014, 02:00
..... a bloke claiming to be an expert "technician", who possesses a toolbox containing only Chinese tools .... :suspect:

Cacophonix
26th Mar 2014, 02:04
The most dangerous thing is a nincompoop with a badge. Believe me I know... ;)

Caco

rh200
26th Mar 2014, 03:23
Females end of story, in any species:p

galaxy flyer
26th Mar 2014, 03:41
F/A with a chipped tooth.

GF

Worrals in the wilds
26th Mar 2014, 03:54
..is a PPL with about 500 hours in the logbook.
Familiar enough with it to start being a little slack; not experienced enough to recognise the more subtle signs of danger.

Likewise a scuba diver in the 50-100 dives range, particularly if they've been reading about advanced/technical diving. :ouch:

Nervous SLF
26th Mar 2014, 05:05
Females end of story, in any species:p


I think that we have the winner just here :ok::ok:

Krystal n chips
26th Mar 2014, 05:41
An American with a gun ( some may possibly take umbrage to this offering )

A politician with no idea as to what they are talking about ( all parties )

Most cats,..... when confronted with an untrained and uncooperative human

The UK population..... when driving on Bank Holidays.

Horse van drivers !

The close cousin of the fabled Army 2nd Lieutenant....the Air Force Engineering Officer.

Any MBA holder in their 20's.....and beyond.

Any "expert"....... as promoted in the meedja.

Daily Mail "journalists and reporters" ......

Capetonian
26th Mar 2014, 06:19
A 'consultant' called in to rescue a loss-making business, particularly an airline. It is the guaranteed kiss of death.

acbus1
26th Mar 2014, 06:35
Microsoft Flight Simulator pilots on Rumours and News given 400 pages to fill.

Krystal n chips
26th Mar 2014, 06:52
" A 'consultant' called in to rescue a loss-making business, particularly an airline. It is the guaranteed kiss of death"


Occupation : consultant

Indeed !

Sallyann1234
26th Mar 2014, 09:31
Well I make a very good living as a consultant.
And I'm not going to disagree :)

MadsDad
26th Mar 2014, 09:51
I've been told several times that the most dangerous thing in the RAF is a pilot with a hand-gun.

(Also been told that the only reason a pilot with a hand-gun is dangerous is he might use it as a club, in which case he could possibly hit you).

BlueDiamond
26th Mar 2014, 10:04
Men in charge of cars ...

http://sms111.org/wallpapers/wp-content/gallery/funny-accidents/funny-accidents-5.jpg

Alloa Akbar
26th Mar 2014, 11:12
A Scottish First Minister with an Independence agenda..

:p

419
26th Mar 2014, 12:03
The most dangerous thing is:
Being a driver in a country where road traffic laws are optional or don't exist at all

5fMYFXOS9Ik

Worrals in the wilds
26th Mar 2014, 12:22
Following on from that, as a first world equivalent:
The person who's spent his/her (usually his) life working in an office in the city, retired and has just bought his first 4WD (SUV) and caravan so he can See Australia (Europe/America) :eek:.
http://cdn.fairfaxregional.com.au/silverstone-feed-data/afbace3b-5a6d-44d9-9eb2-363c70ab810c.jpg
F6 northbound open after caravan crash | Illawarra Mercury (http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/637954/f6-northbound-open-after-caravan-crash/)
llustrative only, but very similar to an accident I drove past involving an inexperienced caravan driver and a truck down by the Hawkesbury River :(. Still better than the one I (fortunately) only heard about the day after travelling through the town concerned where a caravan driver undertook a three point turn on a blind section of the Mitchell Highway and got taken out by a B double truck coming the other way. Two fatalities and the truck driver taken to Brisbane in total catatonic shock...

Two lives lost and one destroyed by a momentary bad decision; Not good. :sad: Take care on the roads, people (and I know I'm preaching to the converted); they are the most dangerous thing most of us will ever face. Everyone thinks about aircraft crashes, sharks, snakes or serial killers, but it's the roads that get most people before their time, yet they're the danger we all tend to discount.

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 12:25
500N wrote:

can disprove the first one :O

Of course you had to write that, didn't you?

Then again, you must also be aware of the fact that in ANY Army, NCO's are the backbone. Without us, you occifers are f***ed. :ok::}:E

Lonewolf_50
26th Mar 2014, 12:47
An American with a gun ( some may possibly take umbrage to this offering )
A half wit with an argument and a TV audience.
Any MBA holder in their 20's.....and beyond.
Must agree there. The number of people one of the above can screw over is massive.

rgbrock1
26th Mar 2014, 12:50
The most dangerous thing? A woman with half a brain? :ok:

onetrack
26th Mar 2014, 12:52
Worrals - Isn't it just amazing the way caravans (trailer homes to our U.S. friends) totally explode when they're hit, or rolled over?
Living alongside Hwy 1 in the West Australian Goldfields in the '70's, I saw 12 caravans destroyed in a period of less than 12 mths, over a 60km stretch of hwy! :eek:

In the SW of W.A., I once came across a European traveller who was towing a trailer with a small camper van. He got into a speed wobble down a hill and rolled the whole lot.
The inside of that van was amazing! If you could imagine your entire kitchen placed into a washing machine and put through a wash cycle, you get some idea of what the inside of that wrecked camper van looked like! :{

The sad part is that people don't realise if you wreck your camper/caravan, you're immediately homeless and literally left with little more than the shirt on your back! :{

Worrals in the wilds
26th Mar 2014, 13:22
Living alongside Hwy 1 in the West Australian Goldfields in the '70's, I saw 12 caravans destroyed in a period of less than 12 mths, over a 60km stretch of hwy! :eek:Yeah, it isn't pretty :(.
The first one I saw was north of Sydney on the other Highway 1 (it's a big highway :ooh:). We had crawled along in traffic for an hour and saw the flashing lights, the merge right sign on the response truck and then the debris trail. Clothes, household goods, half a microwave... Then the bigger parts of the wreck, then the car... then the ambulance, the fireys and the coppers talking to people, doing their thing while we all crawled past, crossing ourselves (or whatever worked, once a Catholic)...

There's something about a squashed caravan that makes you shudder. I guess it's like you say; the household goods crushed and scattered across the road is more arresting than the usual truck accident with its three tonnes of sqashed tomatoes, potting mix or other miscellaneous freight that indicates Delays on the Southbound M1.

There's something about seeing someone's kitchen crockery, books and clothes scattered across the motorway that makes you think about your own mortality, and when you're crawling along at 40kmph past the wreckage of someone else's dreams, those thoughts aren't so nice...:(

Yamagata ken
26th Mar 2014, 13:25
I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.

Shaggy Sheep Driver
26th Mar 2014, 13:34
Many dog owners, who are too stupid for the job.

BBC News - Blackburn baby girl killed by 'pit bull terrier-type' pet dog (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-26131934)

RJM
26th Mar 2014, 14:03
The sad part is that people don't realise if you wreck your camper/caravan, you're immediately homeless and literally left with little more than the shirt on your back!

They'd get the idea soon enough.

A A Gruntpuddock
26th Mar 2014, 14:36
Anyone who is promoted and surrounds himself with syncophants.

After a while, they begin to believe that they are always correct because everyone agrees with them. :\

And I am talking about local councils here, not just N Korea!

A A Gruntpuddock
26th Mar 2014, 14:44
Re the danger of caravans, was once driving up a dual carriageway in wintry weather.

Going through a cutting, I noticed some confused marks on the snow covering the road then a perfect set of wheel tracks going over the verge and in a smooth curve about 20 feet up the cutting before descending back over the verge and onto the road.

At the end of the tracks was a car & caravan parked on the road with no obvious signs of damage. :eek:

Driver leaning against the side of the car looking shaken but not stirred!

Guy deserved a medal for keeping his head.

con-pilot
26th Mar 2014, 15:03
The most dangerous thing is:
Being a driver in a country where road traffic laws are optional or don't exist at all



Well from the video, the most dangerous thing in the world, is driving on the wrong side, the left.

:p


PS. I loved the tractor accident where the driver if the tractor jumps out of the tractor and runs away, leaving the tractor to run off the road and into the ditch. :D:D:D

er340790
26th Mar 2014, 16:33
A Belgian behind the wheel... :eek: :eek: :eek:

RedhillPhil
26th Mar 2014, 16:59
My late father with a tool - any tool. A man's gotta know his limitations and he didn't know his.
This was the man who dug a hole in a sloping garden to drop a pre-formed pond liner in and took it back to the shop because, "it's got a moulding fault that causes all the water to accumulate at one end".
The R.A.F. kept promoting him. I think that it was to get him away from causing more mayhem in whatever job he was put in.

bcgallacher
26th Mar 2014, 20:47
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Yemeni driving a Nissan pickup truck.

500N
26th Mar 2014, 21:03
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Yemeni driving a Nissan pickup truck.



I like this one :ok:

onetrack
27th Mar 2014, 04:13
A A Gruntpuddock - I have sighted precisely the same thing (set of wheel tracks going up the side of a cutting) - but they were fully-loaded, semi-trailer wheel tracks (you could see the depth of the tyre penetration into the soft soil) - and the semi-trailer was nowhere to be seen!
He just kept going ("pedal-to-the-metal"), once back on the road!! I doubt that he even lifted his right foot! :)

Another set of semi-trailer tracks sighted, involved an excursion through a roadside fence, about 200M out into open ground (which just happened to be soft, red, wet mud at the time, after a decent rain) - and thence back onto the highway again!
The dual wheel tracks were a foot deep through the mud! I'll wager he lost some serious amount of velocity, once he made it back onto the road again. :)

acbus1
27th Mar 2014, 07:59
A French airline pilot.

MagnusP
27th Mar 2014, 08:29
A blind fugu chef with a blunt knife.

jolihokistix
27th Mar 2014, 09:26
A footballer with a ridiculously expensive powerful car.

MagnusP
27th Mar 2014, 09:47
Or even a ridiculously expensive footballer with a powerful car. :p

awblain
27th Mar 2014, 11:02
AW Blain and anything to do with aircraft, especially helicopters !

500N and anything to do with physical reality.

I guess we do need some well-armed characters to keep track of unknown unknowns for kneejerking right-wingers, and to check that their echo chambers are loud enough.

Lonewolf_50
27th Mar 2014, 14:50
I guess we do need some well-armed characters to keep track of unknown unknowns for kneejerking right-wingers, and to check that their echo chambers are loud enough.
Might want to check you own knees, AW. ;)

MagnusP
27th Mar 2014, 15:14
Can someone please order more shackles for the peanut gallery? I think it's getting full.

Fareastdriver
27th Mar 2014, 17:10
The most dangerous thing...

A Sichuan girl who feels that she is being cheated.

Mac the Knife
27th Mar 2014, 17:30
419 - "Being a driver in a country where road traffic laws are optional or don't exist at all"

Dreadful - having to deal with the result of such accidents it makes me shudder to see them. A wasteland of death, pain and mutilation.

Mac

:sad:

Pinky the pilot
29th Mar 2014, 02:38
So what did you do Fareastdriver? Get outa town perhaps?:ooh:

Now that sounds like a man who has known real fear

Second that!

ruddman
29th Mar 2014, 05:52
An American with a gun

The gun part didn't need to be there to be correct. :ok:

jolihokistix
29th Mar 2014, 06:25
A Taliban fighter with an agenda

SawMan
29th Mar 2014, 09:49
The most dangerous thing in life is life itself- it is 100% fatal to everyone :(