View Full Version : If you could have any one thing, what would it be?

16th Mar 2014, 17:54
A penguin.

16th Mar 2014, 17:57
A starship....

Shaggy Sheep Driver
16th Mar 2014, 18:03
A Genie in a lamp, capable of granting wishes. That or a Moto Guzzi Le Mans Mk5 in showroom condition.

16th Mar 2014, 18:04
I was going to post earlier but was laughing at the choice of penguin !

Have you ever had one ?

They shyte fish from one end and spew fish goo from the other while
scratching and pecking the crap out of you ! And that was only a fairy penguin !

Anyway, my suggestion is, a machine that allows you to become invisible.

16th Mar 2014, 18:05
Winning the lottery, either one*, this week.

Other than that, not much. :p

* I'm not picky.

16th Mar 2014, 18:06
I am going for "Life"

16th Mar 2014, 18:06
Perfect eyesight.

16th Mar 2014, 18:37
A portable time machine. :E

Spunky Monkey
16th Mar 2014, 19:22
Peru or Chile

16th Mar 2014, 19:58
The means to go back to 1960 and start again from there.

16th Mar 2014, 20:25
Perfect foresight. ;)

16th Mar 2014, 20:39
To live forever young and healthy

16th Mar 2014, 21:00
Ten more "anything you wish for"s.

Mac the Knife
16th Mar 2014, 21:01
"The means to go back to 1960 and start again from there."



16th Mar 2014, 21:14
Bottomless beer glass..

16th Mar 2014, 21:18
A smaller d**k. :E

16th Mar 2014, 21:24


Sorry Si! I was gonna type, "Here I am"

16th Mar 2014, 21:30
A time machine that no-one else knows about.

I was going to post earlier but was laughing at the choice of penguin !

Have you ever had one ?

They shyte fish from one end and spew fish goo from the other while
scratching and pecking the crap out of you ! And that was only a fairy penguin !

Maybe Plazbot only wants a chocolate biscuit? Not much to ask for...

Standard Noise
16th Mar 2014, 21:31
Perfect hearing (tinnitus is a bitch).

Lon More
16th Mar 2014, 21:32
“O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion.”

16th Mar 2014, 21:40
A genuine 1959 Les Paul.

16th Mar 2014, 21:54
Snuggled up in your bidet?

tony draper
16th Mar 2014, 22:06
A shrubbery,only made out of solid gold. :)

Nervous SLF
16th Mar 2014, 22:13
The exact date and time when I will snuff it.

16th Mar 2014, 22:38
A money printing press. Geez, guys, nobody came up with that one yet?

16th Mar 2014, 22:42
Health and happiness with an optional helping of wealth.

Perfect foresight

I misread that first time Beaufort.:eek:


16th Mar 2014, 22:57
A satisfactory understanding of the ending of LOST.

16th Mar 2014, 23:25
Someone who understands and appreciates the beautiful and wonderful things of this world in ( ...... and I'd settle for broadly here) the same way as I see it.

16th Mar 2014, 23:52
A genuine 1959 Les Paul.

As compared to a non genuine 1959 Les Paul?...:)

R T Jones
17th Mar 2014, 00:06
After seeing what I have with my mum the last few years, is just Health.

Worrals in the wilds
17th Mar 2014, 01:54

Pinky the pilot
17th Mar 2014, 02:08
To go back to March 10th 1992 and restart!

17th Mar 2014, 03:05
an erection lasting 3 hours

(that ought to time enough)

17th Mar 2014, 10:26
At this very point in time....

Having undergone a Septoplasty, and an endoscopic nasal polypectomy earlier today....to stop feeling as though I am drowning in my own blood!

I sit here typing with what can only be described as a double ended - stap on - tampon! :ooh: ... it's my sixth one today.... :{

tony draper
17th Mar 2014, 10:49
I'm glad I do not know what any of them big words mean Mr F.:ooh:

17th Mar 2014, 10:56
If you could have any one thing, what would it be?

That's easy, the content feeling of not wanting anything.

17th Mar 2014, 11:09
A complete lack of all phantom pages.

17th Mar 2014, 11:14
an erection lasting 3 hours

(that ought to time enough)

You mean.....this isn't normal?

Pinky the pilot
17th Mar 2014, 11:17
Fliegs; Courage, my friend! Having had similar things done to me about 23 years ago I know how you feel!:ooh:

Felt like two giant 'white mice' jammed up me hooter!:eek:

an erection lasting 3 hours

(that ought to time enough)
You mean.....this isn't normal?

Oh to be 21 years old again!:{:E

17th Mar 2014, 11:21

He's from Florida :O

17th Mar 2014, 11:26
Cheers Pinky!

Like this Mr D....

Septoplasty (GRAPHIC) - Deviated Septum Surgery - YouTube

Followed my....

Endoscopic Nasal Polypectomy - YouTube

After 9 hours.....the bleeding seems to be subsiding...and I'm no longer sucking back semi solidified chunks of bloodied god knows what into the back of my throat before spitting them into a tissue! :yuk::yuk:

I sure as heck better be able to breathe better than I ever have in my life...after another few weeks of this blood congealed airway passage rubbish!!

Shaggy Sheep Driver
17th Mar 2014, 11:37
Who is Les Paul and why is he so desirable?

Pinky the pilot
17th Mar 2014, 11:49
Struth Fliegs, didja hafta?:eek:

Too much information!

(Slight thread drift)

As for me; I still clearly remember the Surgeon coming into my room to remove the 'white mice' and saying
'Now this may be a bit uncomfortable.':eek:

Oddly enough, it was the reverse!:ooh: A bit of a dragging sensation from each nostril, then an impression of
'Bloody Hell, I can breathe through me schnoz again!!':D

What a pity then that only about a year later I had a prang in which, amongst other things, I completely smashed up my nasal passages and virtually undid all the good work the Surgeon did!:{:{

(Back to the thread)

17th Mar 2014, 11:56
To unsee what has been seen...


17th Mar 2014, 12:13
Ha!, yeah , as the OP said, any one thing! For mine right now is to stop bleeding, and at some point down the track to be able to breathe like a regular person!!!

Lon More
17th Mar 2014, 12:20
the Surgeon coming into my room to remove the 'white mice' and saying
'Now this may be a bit uncomfortable.

Now replace the mice with two catheters - one in the penis and one through the stomach and bladder wall.

Fair makes your eyes water.

17th Mar 2014, 14:19
I'd like to have a fully functioning heart again.

P.S. I had that nose job done. Breathing is easy now and I no longer snore.

17th Mar 2014, 14:28
What one thing would I like to have? A one-nighter of hot, raunchy, unbridled sex with Olivia Munn.


17th Mar 2014, 14:31
A one-nighter of hot, raunchy, unbridled sex with Olivia Munn

You mean the kind of thing I went to sleep and awoke with a devil in my bed thing!

Looking at Ms Munn's sardonic smile I can see what you mean... ;)


17th Mar 2014, 14:43
The Klingon cloaking device.

A penguin.
Have a nun instead, they're cleaner.

17th Mar 2014, 16:39
Forget Olivia, I just want to be able to breath!!!:{:{:{

01:38 local time......:{

17th Mar 2014, 17:21
Who is Les Paul and why is he so desirable?

He's an old dead bloke if you're into necrophylia.

However, the guitars he designed are a bit pricey...

1959 Gibson Les Paul Sunburst - Maverick Music (http://www.maverick-music.com/recently-sold/1959-gibson-les-paul-sunburst)

17th Mar 2014, 20:17
To lose 20 years.

Cyber Bob
17th Mar 2014, 20:22
Just a V12 for me

18th Mar 2014, 01:10
A guy goes into a restaurant with an Ostrich, sits down and the waitress comes over to take their orders. He asks for a cheeseburger and a Coke, the ostrich says "Me too". The waitress watches the strange pair. They eat, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out money, and without looking to count it places it on the table and they leave. The waitress goes over and is amazed to find the exact amount of the bill on the table- and she hadn't even written the bill up yet! Over the next few weeks, the odd pair return and the scenario is always the same- whatever he orders the Ostrich gets too, and he never counts the money he pulls from his pocket, but whatever they order it's the exact amount. Her curiosity gets the best of her so the next time the pair come in she asks him about it.

The guy tells her he was once a shipwrecked man sitting years alone on a deserted island, when one day he found a bottle- sure enough, there was a genie inside who would grant him 3 wishes, which would all be granted together, which would all become permanent and unchangeable after he spoke the third wish. He thought a while, asked his wishes and got them. "First was to be rescued and to get back to civilization. that's simple enough. Second I wanted money, but if I asked for a million dollars, I might spend it all or someone steal it, so what I asked for is to always have just enough money in my pocket to pay for anything I want from now on." The waitress said "Oh that was smart, but what was the third wish?" The guy hangs his head, sighs and says "I asked for a long-legged blond chick who would always agree with me."

So be careful of what you ask for- you just might get it!

18th Mar 2014, 08:37
a lighthouse to live in.

18th Mar 2014, 08:43
The exact date and time when I will snuff it.

Try this

The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die? (http://deathclock.com/) :ok:

Worrals in the wilds
18th Mar 2014, 10:01
Agreed, Saw Man...:E
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Agreed also re the lighthouse, though the stairs could be a problem...
Fliegs, I'll resist from making jokes about Gold Coast habits and your need for nose surgery...;) because I'd guess that neither of us can afford those sorts of habits! :}:}

18th Mar 2014, 18:26
Genie grants a guy two wishes.

'Oh that's easy' says bloke' I'll have a pint of Guiness that refills itself when it's empty.'

Puff, self filling pint of Guiness arrives and bloke is ecstatic.

'And your second wish?' says the genie

'I'll have another one of these', says bloke looking lovingly at the glass.

18th Mar 2014, 18:32
that's it, a thing? :p

Agreed also re the lighthouse, though the stairs could be a problem...
yep. A lift for firewood (as there's a fireplace of course) and me when I'm totally-totally tired, and the internet so that I could work, would be vital, I guess :8.



18th Mar 2014, 18:38
Try this

The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die?

Thanks a lot

It says I died on Dec 6 2010

what do I do now ?

18th Mar 2014, 18:45
keep on ticking? :E

tony draper
18th Mar 2014, 18:50
Turn round and walk towards the light Mr Lompaseo.:uhoh:

19th Mar 2014, 16:39
That's okay loma, you wouldn't be the first who's actually dead yet still walking around. :}:E

19th Mar 2014, 16:44
It says I died on Dec 6 2010

what do I do now ?

Hail, the new Messiah.

Mel Effluent
19th Mar 2014, 19:26
Ignorance: because it's bliss!

(SWMBO might say that I already have)

20th Mar 2014, 03:22
I would like a doppelgänger to do all the stuff I have to do, so I could go and do the things I want to do.

20th Mar 2014, 03:44
"Fliegs, I'll resist from making jokes about Gold Coast habits and your need for nose surgery... because I'd guess that neither of us can afford those sorts of habits"

Worrals, yes Ha ha!, though I suspect the surgeon could afford the habit...4-6k apparently, all covered by the health fund fortunately, which ironically, I already pay through the nose for!!! :ouch:

20th Mar 2014, 09:09
If I could have any one thing, what would it be? More of the same.

20th Mar 2014, 13:33
The winning Euromillions Lotto ticket. :ok:

20th Mar 2014, 15:04
CargoMatatu, according to this bloke I know in Nigeria, you've already won! If you just PM me your bank details . . . .

Dont Hang Up
21st Mar 2014, 11:56
Genie grants a guy two wishes.

'Oh that's easy' says bloke' I'll have a pint of Guiness that refills itself when it's empty.'

Puff, self filling pint of Guiness arrives and bloke is ecstatic.

'And your second wish?' says the genie

'I'll have another one of these', says bloke looking lovingly at the glass.

Smart guy. Just think how much he could sell it for! And with no more need to work for a living he could give the first glass his full attention.

21st Mar 2014, 12:12
The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die?

Useless. I put in the details for Charles I, Lord Nelson, and Hitler, and it got them all wrong.
The result for Shergar was interesting.

Worrals in the wilds
21st Mar 2014, 12:54
The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die? Would you really want to know though? Woudn't it be a bit awkward? :uhoh: 'Thanks, but I'm dying on Friday so I won't be able to make it.' Could you really choose how to spend your last 48 hours effectively? Maybe it's better not to know; saves a whole lot of angst.

On the other hand there could be advantages; 'Sure, I'd love to come to your existentialist poetry-reading and comedy night, but I'll be dead before next Tuesday.' Now how much is left on my credit card again??:}

Dont Hang Up
22nd Mar 2014, 11:37
The Death Clock!!!

Ironically it seems to be working on "fatally flawed" logic.

It is only calculating life expectancy from birth, and doesn't seem able to cope with anyone who is much over 70 and still alive tapping in their details. In fact there are perfectly good statistics for calculating your continuing life expectancy.

I cannot put the link here as it's a comparison web-site selling life insurance (confused?). But at least it gives me 10 more years than the Death Clock :D

Thanks a lot

It says I died on Dec 6 2010

what do I do now ?

Did you leave yourself anything in your will? Otherwise you will have to hope your beneficiaries lend you a few quid!

22nd Mar 2014, 14:27
Far East Driver
You thought I was serious?

22nd Mar 2014, 19:10
Never. Why do think I chose C1, Nelson and Hitler?

31st Mar 2014, 11:05
After developing a sinus infection after the Septoplasty and Endoscopic polypectomy....treatment with steroids and anitbiotics....I MA starting to breathe normal!! :D