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Fantome
26th Jan 2014, 04:46
The Singer Sewing Machine Manual
that came with your beautiful new treadle machine gave the housewife clear instructions as to how to approach her sewing. Reading it today it may seem a tad dated, just a little way up on the OMG register.

Prepare yourself mentally for sewing. Think about what you are going to do. Never approach sewing with a sigh or lackadaisically. Good results are difficult when indifference predominates.

Never try to sew with a sink full of dirty dishes or beds unmade. When there are urgent housekeeping chores, do these first so your mind is free to enjoy your sewing. When you sew make yourself as attractive as possible. Put on a clean dress. Keep a little bag full of French chalk near your sewing machine to dust your fingers at intervals. Have your hair in order, powder and lipstick on. If you are constantly fearful that a visitor will drop in or your husband will come home and you will not look nearly put together, you will not enjoy sewing as you should.

Capetonian
26th Jan 2014, 05:47
Fixed that for you:

Prepare yourself mentally for screwing. Think about what you are going to do. Never approach screwing with a sigh or lackadaisically. Good results are difficult when indifference predominates.

Never try to screw with a sink full of dirty dishes or beds unmade. When there are urgent housekeeping chores, do these first so your mind is free to enjoy your screwing. When you screw make yourself as attractive as possible. Have your hair in order, powder and lipstick on. If you are constantly fearful that a visitor will drop in or your husband will come home and you will not look nearly put together, you will not enjoy screwing as you should.

Pali
26th Jan 2014, 06:32
Wow!
What date? Which year was it printed?

Takan Inchovit
26th Jan 2014, 09:04
Fixed that for you:

Jeez, if I had ever thought about it that much, I would still be a virgin.

Fantome
26th Jan 2014, 09:19
Got that out of the 1949 edition. Totally devoid of the slightest sexual allusion.

Barry Humphries years ago composed this for his First Day Covers (Philharmonia Philatelia) with the Sydney Symph and Nigel Butterley -

" While the Birko is a-bubbling, she hears the postie's whistle
As through her snail encrusted slit
He pushes her epistle."

Worrals in the wilds
26th Jan 2014, 09:37
So if you leave the dishes unwashed and the beds unmade you don't have to start sewing? Done and done. :ok::}

Windy Militant
26th Jan 2014, 10:48
It doesn't mention what to do when you stick the needle through your finger!
Which both my Grandmother and me mum used to do on grandma's Singer treadle rivet puncher, it was a b:mad:dy dangerous thing in full flight.:\

reynoldsno1
27th Jan 2014, 00:36
My sister-in-law still has a treadle-operated Singer Sewing machine - it sits in a corner of her kitchen in a farmhouse in the remote N of Thailand. I wonder if she still wants it? ....

Hydromet
27th Jan 2014, 01:04
I have an old Singer treadle (1908) that was my grandmother's, then my mother's. I used it for emergency repairs when I was a young bloke, and my daughter used it before she left home, It still has the instruction book and all parts, plus a book on the 'facts of life' that I imagine was given to my mother before her marriage.

I'm hoping my granddaughter will take it over eventually, but she seems more interested in my woodworking tools at present (but she's only six, and there's no reason she can't use both:cool:)

ShyTorque
27th Jan 2014, 10:04
It doesn't mention what to do when you stick the needle through your finger!
Which both my Grandmother and me mum used to do on grandma's Singer treadle rivet puncher, it was a bdy dangerous thing in full flight.

My late mother once did that when I was a boy. For a few seconds she carried on sewing and shrieking because once you got those treadle machines going at speed, there was some real inertia in the system! I got involved in un-picking the stitches in her finger. :eek:

MagnusP
27th Jan 2014, 10:14
When there are urgent housekeeping chores, do these first so your mind is free to enjoy your screwing.

Aw, c'mon Cape, don't give her any more excuses!

Either activity may, of course, involve a small prick. :E

Lightning Mate
27th Jan 2014, 11:35
Speak fer yerself !

ChampChump
28th Jan 2014, 16:20
My sister and I were clad in clothes made by my mother on the Singer treadle machine. As teenagers, we used it. As a youngster, I was fascinated by its mechanics and pale now at how close we must have come to squashing bones as we 'played' with it.

Now it has been exported to Virginia where my sister treasures it. Her early training on it has evolved into the creation of museum-quality costumes, so it has a lot to answer for. We couldn't find the original instruction manual, despite strong visual memories of exactly where it lived, so she contacted Singer who provided same FOC.

:D

rgbrock1
28th Jan 2014, 16:22
My oh my Fantome, what a big.... font size you have. :}:E

TBirdFrank
28th Jan 2014, 18:33
Just glancing at the topic I thought I could C R in the final word - now that might have made interesting read!!!!!!

Fantome
28th Jan 2014, 18:45
brocky . . . . . trouble is my eyes are dim, I cannot see, I have not brought my specs with me. Every time I go 'spectacles , . . . testicles . . . . wallet . . . . AND WATCH!' I am out of time , as the saying going.

Maybe you can see two mossies mating at 100 yards (a la that bit in Fate is the Hunter where they are sweating it out in the Brazilian jungle)

Maybe you can read the finest print with ease -


Never try to sew with a sink full of dirty dishes or beds unmade. When there are urgent housekeeping chores, do these first so your mind is free to enjoy your sewing. When you sew make yourself as attractive as possible. Put on a clean dress. Keep a little bag full of French chalk near your sewing machine to dust your fingers at intervals. Have your hair in order, powder and lipstick on. If you are constantly fearful that a visitor will drop in or your husband will come home and you will not look nearly put together, you will not enjoy sewing as you should.


.. . ... . or thread the finest needle. Or pick out the slenderest hairs 'pon the palm of the hand.

Loose rivets
4th Feb 2014, 04:27
My mother had a Jones. Her aunt had a Singer. (no jokes please) When I was little, my mother sent off to Selfridges or Gamages for an electric motor. I was so proud of the fact she fitted it herself. With the thingy disengaged, I could accelerate my imaginary car to warp speeds, and when I was older, made my uniform shirts fit my waist. ( I remember waists.)

The time came to collect the sewing machines and take them to a pal for shipping to Africa. It was a sad duty, my mom's things were all that remained, and my daughter had driven down from London to help me with the sorting.
"Look, Dad." My daughter was pointing into the little compartment with the slidy lid. It was stuffed with ten quid notes. It was then that I remembered something about her telling me to check the sewing machine draw. I'd not taken much heed, but now here was her last gift to me . . . well, not so much a gift as a helping hand. She never could quite believe I could look after myself. Three-hundred quid, far more than she'd spend on herself in a month of Sundays.

Fantome
4th Feb 2014, 05:50
A bitter sweet story. A lovely one. Far more poignant than the one that had to do with the distraught man who found his mother's remains secreted within her mattress. His brother was charged with matricide.

MagnusP
4th Feb 2014, 07:43
MrsP has 3 sewing machines (1 Jones, 2 Elna). I never mention this unless she asks why I need yet another guitar. :E