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View Full Version : North Korea claims man landed on Sun and returned to earth.


nomorecatering
23rd Jan 2014, 10:23
North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency | Waterford Whispers News (http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/01/21/north-korea-lands-first-ever-man-on-the-sun-confirms-central-news-agency/)

What can you say.

onetrack
23rd Jan 2014, 10:35
That's not a bad effort. Trust an Irish journo to extract the urine from the news. :)

goudie
23rd Jan 2014, 10:40
Wasn't it an old Irish joke that they sent a man to the sun at night, to avoid him getting sun-burnt?

747 jock
23rd Jan 2014, 11:17
What can you say.

Well, you could say that it's a 100% satirical "newspaper" and a very poor imitation of this one:
Weekly World News | The World's Only Reliable News (http://weeklyworldnews.com/)

llondel
24th Jan 2014, 03:14
They had to shelve plans to visit the moon last week because it was full. :E

Takan Inchovit
24th Jan 2014, 03:25
He might have used a 'Transit'.

Lake Moondarra
24th Jan 2014, 04:16
SEAGOON: Then that puts us even further ahead of him. Ha ha ha! He'll never catch us up now. With this rocket space ship we'll be the first men on the sun.

PROFESSOR THYNNE: Land on the sun! But what about the heat?

SEAGOON: We'll be wearing topees.

PROFESSOR THYNNE: Seagoon, Seagoon. On entering the sun's corona or cigar the heat is a million degrees centigrade and lew-grade, and the flames are two-thousand miles high.

SEAGOON: Fear not. I'm taking something to deal with all that.

LORD HAILSHAM: What?

SEAGOON: The London Fire brigade.

PROFESSOR SPRIGGS: Ah, but are they good at really big fires?

SEAGOON: Of course. They started seven last week.

West Coast
24th Jan 2014, 06:34
I know at least one of you nerds has done the math. How fast would the ship,have to go to get there and back in 18 hours.

Hydromet
24th Jan 2014, 06:48
If he did it against orders he'll be toast when he gets back.

onetrack
24th Jan 2014, 06:53
If he did with orders, he'll still be toast. :)

maliyahsdad2
24th Jan 2014, 08:03
I know at least one of you nerds has done the math. How fast would the ship,have to go to get there and back in 18 hours.

He needed some time to collect the sunspots, so give him 30 mins to do that, He could do the trip at an average 10,800,000 MPH (APPROX :} )

rotornut
24th Jan 2014, 14:15
Obviously BS made up by Waterford Whispers News. Here is the official site of news from North Korea with no mention of this stupid story:
News From KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK (http://www.kcna.co.jp/index-e.htm)

tdracer
24th Jan 2014, 22:55
Of course its a satire. :ugh:

But it is rather telling of the current state of North Korea that it's not immediately obvious that it was satirical http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/evil.gif

Fliegenmong
24th Jan 2014, 23:03
Kim Il Icarus?

Metro man
25th Jan 2014, 00:05
It should be possible to land on the sun because, according to the Mormons, the sun simply reflects plane Kolobs light. A seriously dark pair of RayBans should be all you need.;)

G-CPTN
10th Apr 2014, 13:11
North Korean drones send shock waves across South - Nikkei Asian Review (http://asia.nikkei.com/Politics-Economy/International-Relations/North-Korean-drones-send-shock-waves-across-South)

acbus1
11th Apr 2014, 09:10
The only after effect is badly singed hair...

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTY4wZdGQ6trNv9RoLrRQsPkrwuXcSSUucz7A-v9R4C2pcUQckP

oldpax
11th Apr 2014, 09:19
Maybe their censor had bad eyesight and saw April 1st on his calendar?

chuks
11th Apr 2014, 09:32
There's so little information coming out of grotesque North Korea that is dependable that it is easy to believe some pretty wild stuff. Just the news about "who's dead how, now," is proof of that: the ex-girlfriend supposedly machine-gunned, the uncle perhaps devoured by a pack of dogs, some general hit by a mortar shell, someone else burned to death by a flame-thrower ... it's bad enough that all these people seem to have been executed, but in such grotesque ways?

If you remember that rocket that supposedly put a satellite into orbit that was playing some North Korean anthem, the one that actually just fell into the sea after its second or third stage failed ... North Korea claims that really happened, when the outside world knows that it didn't happen at all. So how should we separate any facts from fantasy, including them possibly, yes, claiming a landing on the sun? Unfortunately, if Kim were to say that, his people would all rush to believe that, especially given the penalties for failing to believe whatever Kim says.

The craziest thing I ever saw was a tape of this "Arirang" mass stadium performance using flash cards. The main point is people being reduced to pixels, thousands of people operating in perfect unison to produce giant images. What the images are of does not seem to matter so much as that they are produced and "believed," a pure expression of tyranny.

Cacophonix
15th Apr 2014, 14:28
Talking of hair or, to be more specific, The Great Leader's mullet, I was most amused by this article in the Daily Wail... (it is always worth reading for the occasional gem like this and its persistent rubbish)...

Hairdresser who used jokey poster of Kim Jong-un to promote his salon was targeted by North Korean embassy officials who demanded he take it down because it 'disrespected' their leader | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2605047/Hairdresser-used-jokey-poster-Kim-Jong-promote-salon-targeted-North-Korean-embassy-officials-demanded-disrespected-leader.html)

Well if North Korea do finally manage to build a nuclear missile the list of targets is now 1.) America and 2.) M&M hair academy, Ealing


Caco

tony draper
15th Apr 2014, 18:57
Beats me why we allow creatures like that to have Embassies in our country,in fact the whole idea of anyone having Embassies nowadays seems a bit of a 19th century hang over to me.
Very expensive jobs for thee boys exercise if you ask me.
:)

John Hill
15th Apr 2014, 20:17
Yeabut, it is best to keep lines of communications open if you are not actually at war, even then maybe.

Dushan
15th Apr 2014, 21:09
Yeah, because a conversation, across the "open" lines of communication with the Norks is guaranteed to yield positive results for everyone involved.

Embassies are simply a way to buy Cognac and Champagne (Paris), shoes and suits (London), lamb (Wellington), etc… and ship them to Pyongyang by diplomatic pouch.

MagnusP
16th Apr 2014, 06:48
Poster advertising a London barber shop. Apparently, they had a visit from NK embassy officials who were told to clear off. :ok:

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/74251000/jpg/_74251310_74251309.jpg

John Hill
16th Apr 2014, 06:53
I dont think there would be any poster in Pyongyang of that ilk featuring Betty Windsor as they seemed to be quite admirers of the Royal Family.

PTT
16th Apr 2014, 08:40
The difference, John, is that we wouldn't care if they did, and we certainly wouldn't be sending the heavies round to try to get them to take it down.